Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  Things were heating up in the bank as new security members rushed in with heavy weapons. One shot red hot plasma at Chaotica: it washed over her with no effect but melted the ground around her.

  “Hell no!” yelled Chaotica, pointing an accusing finger at the shooter.

  The man turned the man into an alligator and his gun into a bowl of jelly. Chaotica changed a second security guard into a balloon that floated up to the ceiling, and the rest fled. Chaotica laughed and turned a bank desk over, scattering burning bank notes everywhere.

  “Cool!” said Jenny.

  “Not cool, villainous!” said Voice.

  “Yeah… that’s what I meant. Villainous.”

  “Do you have any idea what they are stealing from this bank?” asked Voice.

  “Flux said she needed money to buy parts for her Hyper Speeder, and I think Chaotica was just bored.”

  “Right. So they aren’t stealing anything too weird or dangerous?”

  “Um… nope, doesn’t look like it.”

  “Okay. Are you observing any strange behavior?”

  Jenny watched as Chaotica folded bank notes into paper planes and threw them at Flux’s minions as they sped past with boxes of money. She pointed at a filing cabinet and laughed as it turned into an octopus made entirely of pretzels.

  “Take that, organization!” she shouted happily.

  Jenny shook her head.

  “Can you define what you mean by ‘strange behavior’ when it comes to Chaotica?” Jenny asked.

  “Is she under some form of mind control.”

  “No, I don’t think so. Nothing like Riot Master talked about.”

  “And has anyone mentioned either a psychic or Icarus? Any mention of a doomsday device or attacks on Newtopia? Is this going to get out of hand?”

  Jenny watched as Chaotica head butted a water fountain and turned it into a single solid ruby that quickly crumbled to dust. More superheroes were arriving at the bank, but Flux and Chaotica didn’t seem concerned. For the arriving superheroes the bank robbery would be a legendary fight, but for the League of Teenage Supervillains it was just a typical Tuesday afternoon.

  “I don’t see any problems here,” said Jenny.

  “Then it looks like your work is done here. Get ready to move on.”

  CHAPTER TEN: SUPERVILLAINS DON’T CRY, THEY SCREAM

  We all have our reasons for what we do, the conscious and unconscious drives that decide our paths. Do you know what yours are?

  – Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Rex was watching a holographic TV in his most private study.

  It was a small room hidden behind dozens of disguised doors and protected by nasty traps. Even Slade and Skyre didn’t know about it, and they knew more about Rex than almost anyone. Rex used the room to store his huge collection of news reports, video feeds and documentaries of superhumans fighting both each other and normal humans. He owned thousands of videos of his friends and foes alike. He enjoyed watching the videos, and sometimes he even made popcorn. His favorite newsreel was from the time when RoboRodent’s largest ratdroid had smashed Captain Amazing right through a multistory parking lot. That was always fun; Rex couldn’t see it without laughing.

  But not all the videos were funny.

  There was one video from exactly ten years before that Rex only watched once a year. It was from the days before the Icarus was launched, when Rex was only five. It was the day that Psychic Psycho tried to invade Newtopia, the day that the world’s superheroes rose up to stop him.

  It was also the day that Rex’s parents died.

  The video started half–way through a news story. It showed a reporter standing in the middle of a noisy and chaotic city street, a street full of people rushing to leave.

  “I am here in northern Newtopia, near where the Psychic Psycho is thought to be,” the journalist yelled into her camera.

  People pushed past her on foot and in cars, a whole city fleeing their homes. A truck roared past her carrying dozens of children. It was followed by a police car with sirens roaring.

  “The Alliance of Newtopian Superheroes are said to be gathering near here, but we still have no confirmation that – no, wait… I’m hearing that one of our camera drones has sighted the Psychic Psycho. We are cutting to it right now,” shouted the reporter.

  She disappeared and was replaced with blurry video of small spots in the air. The camera focused to reveal the Psychic Psycho and the nine superhumans who worked for him, five men and four women. One of the Psychic Psycho’s many unusual abilities was that he could greatly boost other people’s powers, and he had enhanced crew of loyal superhumans all the way up to S-Grade so that they were more powerful than anyone except the Psychic Psycho himself. Together they had destroyed anything and anyone in their way, intent on either ruling the world or burning it.

  “No–one has come close to stopping the Psychic Psycho before, but today an alliance of Newtopia’s superheroes and supervillains are going to try!” announced the journalist.

  The camera drone zoomed out and turned around to show a hundred superhumans floating in the air at a distance from the Psychic Psycho and his team. Every superhero in Newtopia had gathered to defend their homeland, hoping against hope that they could succeed where others had failed. They had been joined by dozens of villains and antiheroes who were more attached to their homes than their evil ways. It was an alliance of the mighty, but it was not enough.

  The Psychic Psycho laughed, a loud and hurtful noise that could be heard for miles around.

  “Really? You think that THIS can stop me!” he screamed.

  A handful of the weakest Newtopian superhumans fell right out of the sky, slain by the force of his words alone. The others were pushed back by the brunt of his power, but they didn’t run.

  “And I see that the world is watching us!” yelled the Psychic Psycho dramatically, turning to look right into the drone camera.

  The drone shook violently and then flew towards him. He stopped it inches from his face and smiled right into the camera it. He had the type of smile that ate children.

  “We’ve lost control of the drone–” said the journalist breathlessly.

  The Psychic Psycho could easily have destroyed the drone, but he liked an audience.

  “My name is The New Man,” said the Psychic Psycho to the drone.

  He had often tried to get people to call him that, but even his own team called him Psychic Psycho behind his back. The name suited him too well.

  “Today I give the people of Newtopia a choice: serve me, or die. No, I have changed my mind already, aren’t I fickle? Serve me, and you might not die today. Ha ha ha!” the Psychic Psycho said gleefully.

  He clicked his fingers and his nine villains attacked the Newtopian superhumans, catching superheroes and throwing them out of the sky with ease. The Newtopians fought well, but they had no chance against the turbo–charged powers of the Psychic Psycho’s villains. Flames and lasers ripped through the air, and Newtopians died by the dozens.

  The drone tried to back away, but the Psychic Psycho caught it and turned it to show the Newtopian superhumans being ripped apart by his team.

  “See how your countrymen fail you!” he said.

  A single superhero broke through the Psychic Psycho’s team and rushed towards him. It was the Silver Arrow, the leader of Newtopia’s superheroes. He tried to punch the Psychic Psycho, but stopped in midflight as if he had hit a glass wall. The Psychic Psycho twirled a finger and the superhero spun slowly head over heels, helpless and powerless.

  “Silver Arrow! And how is the leader of the Newtopian superheroes today? How good of you to join us,” the Psychic Psycho said.

  He clicked his fingers and one of the Silver Arrow’s arm’s snapped above the wrist. Silver Arrow tried not to scream, so the Psychic Psycho broke his other arm with a glance. As far as the Psychic Psycho was concerned, looks really could kill.

  “And to think people c
onsider you to be intelligent, Arrow,” he said as more bones snapped. “Smarter than the other superheroes, perhaps, but that is comparable to saying you are the sharpest spoon in the drawer. I am a knife, Arrow, a knife!”

  Silver Arrow screamed and the Psychic Psycho laughed.

  “And how exactly did you think this would work, Arrow?”

  The Psychic Psycho motioned towards the Silver Arrow and the helpless superhero drifted closer. The Psychic Psycho grabbed the Silver Arrow by the throat.

  “What made you think you would win when everyone else failed, little superhero? Did you really think that you alone could beat me?”

  “I…” said Silver Arrow, struggling to breathe.

  “Yes? Please, try to speak up,” said the Psychic Psycho, smiling.

  “I’m… I’m not…” gasped the superhero.

  “Not powerful enough? Not ready? Not going to see tomorrow?” taunted the Psychic Psycho.

  Silver Arrow smiled despite his pain.

  “I’m not alone, jackass! I was only distracting you so that you stay in one place long enough!”

  And the supervillain Mistress Mayhem flew out of the sky like a rocket and slammed into the Psychic Psycho. He exploded in bright white light that destroyed the camera drone.

  “…we’ve lost our drone, but this is video coming in from a nearby crew...” said the reporter in shock.

  The video showed an explosion of light that consumed enemies and allies alike, wiping out hundreds of superhumans. By the time the light faded no–one was left alive. The Psychic Psycho was gone, as were all of his villainous team and all of Newtopia’s superheroes. Rex turned the TV off. A single tear rolled down his face, but he didn’t wipe it away.

  But Supervillains aren’t allowed to cry, and so ten minutes later Rex was walking through his new base without any sign of what he was feeling.

  “Slade! Skyre! Where are you?” he screamed loudly enough to wake the dead.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE SCRAPHEAP

  Superheroes can get away with the talents they are born with, like being strong or fast or reading minds, but supervillain must be constantly learning new skills. I can cheat at poker better than anyone else in the world, and I can strip and rebuild a Hellcat Copter’s engine in under a day. Both those skills have saved my life on several occasions.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Jenny Doom appeared high above a massive scrapheap that lay in the wastelands near Newtopia. Robotic guards patrolled the scrapheap, but they didn’t notice her while she was invisible.

  “We think RoboRodent has his headquarters around here somewhere. Go find it,” said Voice.

  “Yeah… but I want a raise. And a day off.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Then I’ll only think about finding RoboRodent’s base,” Jenny threatened.

  “Then I’ll only think about teleporting you back home, and it’s a long walk from here,” countered Voice evenly.

  Jenny smiled.

  “I can fly… but I’d rather not.”

  The entrance to RoboRodent’s underground headquarters was beneath a pile of gigantic rusty robot heads. A pair of huge robotic rats armed with cannons were guarding the entrance, but Jenny walked right past them without being noticed.

  “Piece of cake,” she told Voice.

  RoboRodent’s base was an underground warren of tunnels made of metal and dirt. Robot guards of all shapes and sizes carrying scrap metal and strange weapons walked, rolled or scuttled through the tunnels. Every single robot was different, although they were all rodents of some kind, and Jenny never saw a human of any kind. RoboRodent didn’t have any minions that he hadn’t built himself.

  “I’m glad I’m invisible right now,” Jenny whispered to Voice as a pair of robotic mice the size of horses walked past her on long legs.

  A trio of robotic bats flew past her head, whistling to each other as they raced down the corridor on silver wings.

  “Crazy robots… robots everywhere,” whispered Jenny.

  “Yes. RoboRodent is probably the best roboticist in the world,” Voice said.

  “Why does he only build them in the shape of rodents? Surely that’s impractical?”

  “Supervillains prefer style over practicality, which is often the reason their plans fail.”

  An enormous metal rat scuttled past Jenny’s feet, dragging a wagon of metal pipes behind it. It stopped, sneezed, stroked its metal whiskers and continued on with its work.

  “Yeah… but even if it doesn’t win the day, I do like the level of dedication he puts into his work,” muttered Jenny.

  She floated deeper into the maze of tunnels until she found RoboRodent in a huge and messy workshop. The walls of the workshop were lined with piles of high–tech weapons, metal plates, copper wires, computer chips and leaking hydraulic tubes. Chains hung down from the ceiling, and the room was dominated by a long metal table lit with bright white lights. The biggest robot Jenny had seen yet lay on the table with its metal insides spilled out beside it. It was only half–finished, and RoboRodent was tinkering with it, forcing its metal guts into its armored torso as casually as another person might push stuffing into a teddy bear.

  Jenny ducked behind a metal table that held bars of gold and other precious metals. It also held the remains of RoboRodent’s dinner: bits of salad, two apple cores, and half a glass of orange juice.

  “I found him, but he’s not alone,” Jenny whispered into her phone.

  One of Code Cutter’s drones was drifting over the robot’s enormous metal body. It had a pair of long metal arms that it was using to screw a plate over the robot’s head.

  “Thanks for helping me with the programming, Code Cutter, I love learning new ways of programming. We can load the new data now,” RoboRodent said to the drone, waving a soldering gun enthusiastically. “This is going to be my greatest creation yet!”

  “Downloading… complete. Okay, its basic functions should be ready now,” answered Code Cutter through the drone’s speaker.

  “Good. This thing is going to be great once we get it up and ready. I’ll fill –”

  “Orders received: kill!” the robot squeaked loudly.

  It rolled off the table, stood up on its enormous back legs and snapped its metal teeth at RoboRodent. Its red eyes glowed bright red, and Jenny ducked lower into cover. RoboRodent took a step back as the giant robot lurched to its feet and glared at him.

  “Hey, Code Cutter… did you disable the voice input on this thing like we planned?” he asked, a little nervously.

  “Um… no, I thought you did that while I was cleaning up the oil spill?” said the drone, drifting away from the robot.

  “Confirmation received: kill. Target acquired: charging lasers!” the giant robot said, buzzing loudly.

  RoboRodent dropped the wrench he was holding and took another step backwards. The giant robot rat swiped out at him with a half–formed arm that leaked steam from its joints. It snapped its huge metal teeth as RoboRodent took a few steps back.

  “Oh. And did we build this thing with an emergency cut off?” he asked.

  “You said it was a waste of time when I suggested one. You said getting it moving was the most important thing because it let you test your new code,” Code Cutter reminded him, sounding just a little smug.

  “Yeah… I did, didn’t I? I was wrong. Run!” RoboRodent yelled.

  The robotics genius and the drone fled as the giant metal rat started trashing the laboratory, flipping tables and biting through thick power cables before pursuing the villains out the workshop. Its huge pink tail slapped against a pile of gold bars as it ran past, knocking the bars to the ground.

  Jenny listened as the sound of explosions and yelling as they grew more distant. She shrugged and started hiding cameras and microphones throughout the room.

  “I never thought giant robots would be so tricky,” she said to Voice.

  “Yes, we certainly never had mu
ch luck with them. Newtopia prefers… less volatile techniques, more subtle sources of power. Now, they will be back soon so you had better leave as soon as you have hidden the spying tools we gave you.”

  “Yup,” said Jenny, picking up a shrink ray that RoboRodent had left lying on a bench.

  “Don’t touch anything, and don’t leave any sign that you were there.”

  “Yup,” said Jenny again, and blasted a gold bar with the shrink ray.

  The bar became a little smaller, but not much. Jenny frowned, shook the gun and tried again. The bar shrunk to the size of an apple, and Jenny picked it up.

  “Cool,” she said to herself, slipping it into her pocket.

  “Are you even listening to me?” demanded Voice.

  “Totally. What did you just say?”

  Twenty minutes later Jenny was back in her room. The gold bar had returned to its normal size, and she threw it from hand to hand absentmindedly like it was an apple.

  “Those two didn’t seem to be a threat to anyone except themselves,” she said.

  “Don’t be misled by what you saw today. RoboRodent once built a ratdroid that fought Captain Amazing to a standstill, and Code Cutter can do more damage in an hour using a laptop that most superhumans can do in their lifetimes,” Voice said sternly.

  “Huh. Then why didn’t you try to recruit them instead of me?” Jenny said a little jealously.

  Voice didn’t reply.

  “You tried, didn’t you? What happened, Voice?” Jenny said with a laugh.

  “That is classified.”

  “Fine, keep your little secrets. When do I get to investigate the main guy, Rex? He was kind of cute,” Jenny said.

  “You will not. And stay away from him.”

  “What, are you my mother now? Anyway, he seems like a pretty villainous guy– “

  “You have your orders!”

  “Whatever. So what exactly are we looking for, then?” asked Jenny in annoyance.

  “That’s classified.”

  “Tell me or I quit. Seriously.”

  “It is not your concern, Jennifer Doom. Go home and rest, you will be needed soon for further missions.”