The Tinted Venus: A Farcical Romance

by F. Anstey

  THE THIRTEENTH TRUMP

  XIV.

  "Your adversary having thus secured the lead with the last trump, you will be powerless to prevent the bringing-in of the long suit."

  ROUGH'S _Guide to Whist._

  "What! thinkest thou that utterly in vain Jove is my sire, and in despite my will That thou canst mock me with thy beauty still?"

  _Story of Cupid and Psyche._

  Leander, when he wrote his distracted appeal to Matilda, took it forgranted that she had recognized the statue for something of asupernatural order, and this, combined with his perplexed state of mind,caused him to be less explicit than he might have been in referring tothe goddess's ill-timed appearance.

  But, unfortunately, as will probably have been already anticipated, theonly result of this reticence was, that Matilda saw in his letter anabject entreaty for her consent to his marriage with Ada Parkinson, toavoid legal proceedings, and, under this misapprehension, she wrote theline that abandoned all claims upon him, and then went on with heraccounts, which were not so neatly kept that day as usual.

  What she felt most keenly in Leander's conduct was, that he should haveplaced the ring, which to all intent was her own, upon the finger ofanother. She could not bear to think of so unfeeling an act, and yet shethought of it all through the long day, as she sat, outwardly serene, ather high desk, while her attendants at her side made up sprays fordances and wreaths for funerals from the same flowers.

  And at last she felt herself urged to a course which, in her ordinarymind, she would have shrunk from as a lowering of her personal dignity:she would go and see her rival, and insist that this particularhumiliation should be spared her. The ring was not Leander's to disposeof--at least, to dispose of thus; it was not right that any but herselfshould wear it; and, though the token could never now be devoted to itsrightful use, she wanted to save it from what, in her eyes, was a kindof profanation.

  She would not own it to herself, but there was a motive stronger thanall this--the desire to relieve her breast of some of the indignationwhich was choking her, and of which her pride forbade any betrayal toLeander himself.

  This other woman had supplanted her; but she should be made to feel thewrong she had done, and her triumphs should be tempered with shame, ifshe were capable of such a sensation. Matilda knew very well that thering was not hers, and she wanted it no longer; but, then, it was MissTweddle's, and she would claim it in her name.

  She easily obtained permission to leave somewhat earlier that evening,as she did not often ask such favours, and soon found herself at MadameChenille's establishment, where she remembered to have heard from Bellathat her sister was employed.

  She asked for the forewoman, and begged to be allowed to speak to MissParkinson in private for a very few minutes; but the forewoman referredher to the proprietress, who made objections: such a thing was neverpermitted during business hours, the shop would close in an hour, tillthen Miss Parkinson was engaged in the showroom, and so on.

  But Matilda carried her point at last, and was shown to a room in thebasement, where the assistants took their meals, there to wait untilMiss Parkinson could be spared from her duties.

  Matilda waited in the low, dingy room, where the tea-things were stilllittering the table, and as she paced restlessly about, trying to feelan interest in the long-discarded fashion-plates which adorned thewalls, her anger began to cool, and give place to something very likenervousness.

  She wished she had not come. What, after all, was she to say to thisgirl when they met? And what was Leander--base and unworthy as he hadshown himself--to her any longer? Why should she care what he chose todo with the ring? And he would be told of her visit, and think----No!that was intolerable: she would not gratify his vanity and humbleherself in this way. She would slip quietly out, and leave her rival toenjoy her victory!

  But, just as she was going to carry out this intention, the door opened,and a short, dark young woman appeared. "I'm told there was a youngperson asking to speak to me," she said; "I'm Ada Parkinson."

  At the name, Matilda's heart swelled again with the sense of herinjuries; and yet she was unprepared for the face that met her eyes.Surely her rival had both looked and spoken differently the nightbefore? And yet, she had been so agitated that very likely herrecollections were not to be depended upon.

  "I--I did want to see you," she said, and her voice shook, as much fromtimidity as righteous indignation. "When I tell you who I am, perhapsyou will guess why. I am Matilda Collum."

  Miss Parkinson showed no symptoms of remorse. "What!" she cried, "theyoung lady that Mr. Tweddle is courting? Fancy!"

  "After what happened last night," said Matilda, trembling exceedingly,"you know that that is all over. I didn't come to talk about that. Ifyou knew--and I think you must have known--all that Mr. Tweddle was tome, you have--you have not behaved very well; but he is nothing to meany more, and it is not worth while to be angry. Only, I don't think youought to keep the ring--not _that_ ring!"

  "Goodness gracious me!" cried Ada. "What in the world is all this about?What ring oughtn't I to keep?"

  "You know!" retorted Matilda. "How can you pretend like that? The ringhe gave you that night at Rosherwich!"

  "The girl's mad!" exclaimed the other. "He never gave me a ring in allhis life! I wouldn't have taken it, if he'd asked me ever so. Mr.Tweddle indeed!"

  "Why do you say that?" said Matilda. "He has not got it himself, andyour sister said he gave it to you, and--and I saw it with my own eyeson your hand!"

  "Oh, _dear_ me!" said Ada, petulantly, holding out her hand, "lookthere--is that it?--is this? Well, these are all that I have, whetheryou believe me or not; one belonged to my poor mother, and the other wasa present, only last Friday, from the gentleman that's their headtraveller, next door, and is going to be my husband. Is it likely thatI should be wearing any other now?--ask yourself!"

  "You wouldn't wish to deceive me, I hope," said Matilda; "and oh, MissParkinson, you might be open with me, for I'm so very miserable! I don'tknow what to think. Tell me just this: did you--wasn't it you who camelast night to Miss Tweddle's?"

  "No!" returned Ada, impatiently--"no, as many times as you please! Andif Bella likes to say I did, she may; and she always was amischief-making thing! How could I, when I didn't know there was anyMiss Tweddle to come to? And what do you suppose I should go runningabout after Mr. Tweddle for? I wonder you're not ashamed to say suchthings!"

  "But," faltered Matilda, "you did go to those gardens with him, didn'tyou? And--and I know he gave the ring to somebody!"

  Ada began to laugh. "You're quite correct, Miss Collum," she said; "sohe did. Don't you want to know who he gave it to?"

  "Yes," said Matilda, "and you will tell me. I have a right to be told. Iwas engaged to him, and the ring was given to him for me--not for anyone else. You _will_ tell me, Miss Parkinson, I am sure you will?"

  "Well," said Ada, still laughing, "I'll tell you this much--she's aforeign lady, very stiff and stuck-up and cold. She's got it, if any onehas. I saw him put it on myself!"

  "Tell me her name, if you know it."

  "I see you won't be easy till you know all about it. Her name'sAfriddity, or Froddity, or something outlandish like that. She lives atRosherwich, a good deal in the open air, and--there, don't beridiculous--it's only a _statue_! There's a pretty thing to be jealousof!"

  "Only a statue!" echoed Matilda. "Oh! Heaven be with us both, if--ifthat was It!"

  Certain sentences in the letter she had returned came to her mind with anew and dreadful significance. The appearance of the visitor lastnight--Leander's terror--all seemed to point to some unsuspectedmystery.

  "It can't be--no, it can't! Miss Parkinson, you were there: tell me allthat happened, quick! You don't know what may depend on it!"

  "What! not satisfied even now?" cried Ada. "_Well_, Miss Collum, talkabout jealousy! But, there, I'll tell you all I know myself."
<
br />   And she gave the whole account of the episode with the statue, so far asshe knew it, even to the conversation which led to the production of thering.

  "You see," she concluded, "that it was all on your account that he triedit on at all, and I'm sure he talked enough about you all the evening. Ireally was a little surprised when I found _you_ were his Miss Collum.(You won't mind my saying so?) If I was you, I should go and tell him Iforgave him, now. I do think he deserves it, poor little man!"

  "Yes, yes!" cried Matilda; "I'll go--I'll go at once! Thank you, MissParkinson, for telling me what you have!" And then, as she rememberedsome dark hints in Leander's letter: "Oh, I must make haste! He may begoing to do something desperate--he may have done it already!"

  And, leaving Miss Parkinson to speculate as she pleased concerning hereccentricity, she went out into the broad street again; and,unaccustomed as she was to such expenditure, hailed a hansom; for therewas no time to be lost.

  She had told the man to drive to the Southampton Row Passage at first,but, as she drew nearer, she changed her purpose; she did not like to goalone, for who knew what she might see there? It was out of the questionto expect her mother to accompany her, but her friend and landlady wouldnot refuse to do so; and she drove to Millman Street, and prevailed onMiss Tweddle to come with her without a moment's delay.

  The two women found the shop dark, but unshuttered; there was a light inthe upper room. "You stay down here, please," said Matilda; "if--ifanything is wrong, I will call you." And Miss Tweddle, without very wellunderstanding what it was all about, and feeling fluttered and out ofbreath, was willing enough to sit down in the saloon and recoverherself.

  And so it came to pass that Matilda burst into the room just as thehairdresser was preparing to pronounce the inevitable words that wouldcomplete the goddess's power. He stood there, pale and dishevelled, witheyes that were wild and bordered with red. Opposite to him was the beingshe had once mistaken for a fellow-creature.

  Too well she saw now that the tall and queenly form, with the fixed eyesand cold tinted mask, was inspired by nothing human; and her heart diedwithin her as she gazed, spellbound, upon her formidable rival.

  "Leander," she murmured, supporting herself against the frame of thedoor, "what are you going to do?"

  "Keep back, Matilda!" he cried desperately; "go away--it's too latenow!"

  A moment before, and, deserted as he believed himself to be by love andfortune alike, he had been almost resigned to the strange and shadowyfuture which lay before him; but now--now that he saw Matilda there inhis room, no longer scornful or indifferent, but pale and concerned, herpretty grey eyes dark and wide with anguish and fear for him--he feltall he was giving up; he had a sudden revulsion, a violent repugnance tohis doom.

  She loved him still! She had repented for some reason. Oh! why had shenot done so before? What could he do now? For her own sake he must steelhimself to tell her to leave him to his fate; for he knew well that ifthe goddess were to discover Matilda's real relations to him, it mightcost his innocent darling her life!

  For the moment he rose above his ordinary level. He lost all thought ofself. Let Aphrodite take him if she would, but Matilda must be saved."Go away!" he repeated; and his voice was cracked and harsh, under thestrain of doing such violence to his feelings. "Can't you seeyou're--you're not wanted? Oh, do go away--while you can!"

  Matilda closed the door behind her. "Do you think," she said, catchingher breath painfully, "that I shall go away and leave you with That!"

  "Leander," said the statue, "command your sister to depart!"

  "I'm _not_ his"--Matilda was beginning impetuously, till the hairdresserstopped her.

  "You _are_!" he cried. "You know you're my sister--you've forgotten it,that's all.... Don't say a syllable now, do you hear me? She's going,Lady Venus, going directly!"

  "Indeed I'm not," said Matilda, bravely.

  "Leave us, maiden!" said the statue. "Your brother is yours no longer,he is mine. Know you who it is that commands? Tremble then, nor opposethe will of Aphrodite of the radiant eyes!"

  "I never heard of you before," said Matilda, "but I'm not afraid of you.And, whoever or whatever you are, you shall not take my Leander awayagainst his will. Do you hear? You could never be allowed to do that!"

  The statue smiled with pitying scorn. "His own act has given me thepower I hold," she said, "and assuredly he shall not escape me!"

  "Listen," pleaded Matilda; "perhaps you are not really wicked, it isonly that you don't know! The ring he put--without ever thinking what hewas doing--on your finger was meant for mine. It was, really! He is mylover; give him back to me!"

  "Matilda!" shrieked the wretched man, "you don't know what you're doing.Run away, quick! Do as I tell you!"

  "So," said the goddess, turning upon him, "in this, too, you have triedto deceive me! You have loved--you still love this maiden!"

  "Oh, not in that way!" he shouted, overcome by his terror for Matilda."There's some mistake. You mustn't pay any attention to what she says:she's excited. All my sisters get like that when they're excited--they'dsay _any_thing!"

  "Silence!" commanded the statue. "Should not I have skill to read thesigns of love? This girl loves you with no sister's love. Deny it not!"

  Leander felt that his position was becoming untenable; he could onlysave Matilda by a partial abandonment. "Well, suppose she does," hesaid, "I'm not obliged to return it, am I?"

  Matilda shrank back. "Oh, Leander!" she cried, with a piteous littlemoan.

  "You've brought it on yourself!" he said; "you will come hereinterfering!"

  "Interfering!" she repeated wildly, "you call it that! How can I helpmyself? Am I to stand by and see you giving yourself up to, nobody cantell what? As long as I have strength to move and breath to speak Ishall stay here, and beg and pray of you not to be so foolish and wickedas to go away with her! How do you know where she will take you to?"

  "Cease this railing!" said the statue. "Leander loves you not! Away,then, before I lay you dead at my feet!"

  "Leander," cried the poor girl, "tell me: it isn't true what she says?You didn't mean it! you _do_ love me! You don't really want me to goaway?"

  For her own sake he must be cruel; but he could scarcely speak the wordsthat were to drive her from his side for ever. "This--this lady," hesaid, "speaks quite correct. I--I'd very much rather you went!"

  She drew a deep sobbing breath. "I don't care for anything any more!"she said, and faced the statue defiantly. "You say you can strike medead," she said: "I'm sure I hope you can! And the sooner thebetter--for I will not leave this room!"

  The dreamy smile still curved the statue's lips, in terrible contrast tothe inflexible purpose of her next words.

  "You have called down your own destruction," she said, "and death shallbe yours!"

  "Stop a bit," cried Leander, "mind what you're doing! Do you think I'llgo with you if you touch a single hair of my poor Tillie's head? Why,I'd sooner stay in prison all my life! See here," and he put his armround Matilda's slight form; "if you crush her, you crush me--so now!"

  "And if so," said the goddess, with cruel contempt, "are you of suchvalue in my sight that I should stay my hand? You, whom I have soughtbut to manifest my power, for no softer feelings have you everinspired! And now, having withstood me for so long, you turn, even atthe moment of yielding, to yonder creature! And it is enough. I willcontend no longer for so mean a prize! Slave and fool that you haveshown yourself, Aphrodite rejects you in disdain!"

  Leander made no secret of his satisfaction at this. "Now you talksense!" he cried. "I always told you we weren't suited. Tillie, do youhear? She gives me up! She gives me up!"

  "Aye," she continued, "I need you not. Upon you and the maiden by yourside I invoke a speedy and terrible destruction, which, ere you canattempt to flee, shall surely overtake you!"

  Leander was so overcome by this highly unexpected sentence that he lostall control over his limbs; he could only stand where he was, supportingMatild
a, and stare at the goddess in fascinated dismay.

  The goddess was raising both hands, palm upwards, to the ceiling, andpresently she began to chant in a thrilling monotone: "Hear, O Zeus,that sittest on high, delighting in the thunder, hear the prayer of thydaughter, Aphrodite the peerless, as she calleth upon thee, nor sufferher to be set at nought with impunity! Rise now, I beseech thee, andhurl with thine unerring hand a blazing bolt that shall consume thesepresumptuous insects to a smoking cinder! Blast them, Sire, with thefire-wreaths of thy lightning! blast, and spare not!"

  "Kiss me, Tillie, and shut your eyes," said Leander; "it's coming!"

  She was nestling close against him, and could not repress a faintshivering moan. "I don't mind, now we're together," she whispered, "ifonly it won't hurt much!"

  The prayer uttered with such deadly intensity had almost ceased tovibrate in their ears, but still the answer tarried; it tarried so longthat Leander lost patience, and ventured to open his eyes a little way.He saw the goddess standing there, with a strained expectation on herupturned face.

  "I don't wish to hurry you, mum," he said tremulously; "but you ought tobe above torturing us. Might I ask you to request your--your relation tolook sharp with that thunderbolt?"

  "Zeus!" cried the goddess, and her accent was more acute, "thou hastheard--thou wilt not shame me thus! Must I go unavenged?"

  Still nothing whatever happened, until at last even Matilda unclosed hereyes. "Leander!" she cried, with a hysterical little laugh, "_I don'tbelieve she can do it!_"

  "LEANDER!" SHE CRIED, ... "I DON'T BELIEVE SHE CAN DOIT!"]

  "No more don't I!" said the hairdresser, withdrawing his arm, and comingforward boldly. "Now look here, Lady Venus," he remarked, "it's timethere was an end of this, one way or the other; we can't be kept up hereall night, waiting till it suits your Mr. Zooce to make cockshies of us.Either let him do it now, or let it alone!"

  The statue's face seemed to be illumined by a stronger light. "Zeus, Ithank thee!" she exclaimed, clasping her pale hands above her head; "Iam answered! I am answered!"

  And, as she spoke, a dull ominous rumble was heard in the distance.

  "Matilda, here!" cried the terrified hairdresser, running back to hisbetrothed; "keep close to me. It's all over this time!"

  The rumble increased to a roll, which became a clanking rattle, andthen lessened again to a roll, died away to the original rumble, and washeard no more.

  Leander breathed again. "To think of my being taken in like that!" hecried. "Why, it's only a van out in the street! It's no good, mum; youcan't work it: you'd better give it up!"

  The goddess seemed to feel this herself, for she was wringing her handswith a low wail of despair. "Is there none to hear?" she lamented. "Arethey all gone--all? Then is Aphrodite fallen indeed; deserted of thegods, her kinsmen; forgotten of mortals; braved and mocked by such asthese! Woe! woe! for Olympus in ruins, and Time the dethroner ofdeities!"

  Leander would hardly have been himself if he had forborne to takeadvantage of her discomfiture. "You see, mum," he said, "you're noteverybody. You mustn't expect to have everything your own way down here.We're in the nineteenth century nowadays, mum, and there's anotherreligion come in since you were the fashion!"

  "_Don't_, Leander!" said Matilda, in an undertone; "let her alone, thepoor thing!"

  She seemed to have quite forgotten that her fallen enemy had beendooming her to destruction the moment before; but there was something sotragic and moving in the sight of such despair that no true woman couldbe indifferent to it.

  Either the taunt or the compassion, however, roused the goddess to afrenzy of passion. "Hold your peace!" she said fiercely, and strode downupon Leander until he beat an instinctive retreat. "Fallen as I am, Iwill not brook your mean vauntings or insolent pity! Shorn I may be ofmy ancient power, but something of my divinity clings to me still.Vengeance is not wholly denied to me! Why should I not deal with youeven as with those profane wretches who laid impious hands upon this myeffigy? Why? why?"

  Leander began to feel uncomfortable again. "If I've said anything youobject to," he said hastily, "I'll apologise. I will--and so willMatilda--freely and full; in writing, if that will satisfy you!"

  "Tremble not for your worthless bodies," she said; "had you been slain,as I purposed, you would but have escaped me, after all! Now a vengeancekeener and more enduring shall be mine! In your gross blindness, youhave dared to turn from divine Aphrodite to such a thing as this, andfor your impiety you shall suffer! This is your doom, and so much atleast I can still accomplish: Long as you both may live, strong as yourlove may endure, never again shall you see her alone, never more shallshe be folded to your breast! For ever, I will stand a barrier betweenyou: so shall your days consume away in the torturing desire for afelicity you may never attain!"

  "It seems to me, Tillie," said Leander, looking round at her with holloweyes, "that we may as well give up keeping company together, afterthat!"

  Matilda had been weeping quietly. "Oh no, Leander, not that! Don't letus give each other up: we may--we may get used to it!"

  "That is not all," said the revengeful goddess. "I understand but littleof the ways of this degenerate age. But one thing I know: this verynight, guards are on their way to search this abode for the image inwhich I have chosen to reveal myself; and, should they find that theyare in search of, you will be dragged to some dungeon, and sufferdeserved ignominy. It pleased me yesternight to shield you: to-night,be very sure that this marble form shall not escape their vigilance!"

  He felt at once that this, at least, was no idle threat. The policemight arrive at any instant; she had only to vacate the marble at themoment of their entry--and what could he do? How could he explain itspresence? The gates of Portland or Dartmoor were already yawning toreceive him! Was it too late, even then, to retrieve the situation? "Ifit wasn't for Tillie, I could see my way to something, even now," hethought. "I can but try!"

  "Lady Venus," he began, clearing his throat, "it's not my desire to bethe architect of any mutual unpleasantness--anything but! I don't seeany use in denying that you've got the best of it. I'm done--reg'larbowled over; and if ever there was a poor devil of a toad under aharrer, I've no hesitation in admitting that toad's me! So the onlypoint I should like to submit for your consideration is this: Havethings gone too far? Are you quite sure you won't be spiting yourself aswell as me over this business? Can't we come to an amicable arrangement?Think it over!"

  "Leander, you can't mean it!" cried Matilda.

  "You leave me alone," he said hoarsely; "I know what I'm saying!"

  Whether the goddess had overstated her indifference, or whether she mayhave seen a prospect of some still subtler revenge, she certainly didnot receive this proposition of Leander's with the contumely that mighthave been expected; on the contrary, she smiled with a triumphantsatisfaction that betrayed a disposition to treat.

  "Have my words been fulfilled, then?" she asked. "Is your insolent pridehumbled at last? and do you sue to me for the very favours you so longhave spurned?"

  "You can put it that way if you like," he said doggedly. "If you wantme, you'd better say so while there's time, that's all!"

  "Little have you merited such leniency," she said; "and yet, it is toyou I owe my return to life and consciousness. Shall I abandon what Ihave taken such pains to win? No! I accept your submission. Speak, then,the words of surrender, and let us depart together!"

  "Before I do that," he said firmly, "there's one point I must havesettled to my satisfaction."

  "You can bargain still!" she exclaimed haughtily. "Are all barbers likeyou? If your point concerns the safety of this maiden, be at ease; sheshall go unharmed, for she is my rival no longer!"

  "Well, it wasn't that exactly," he explained; "but I'm doubtful aboutthat ring being the genuine article, and I want to make sure."

  "But a short time since, and you were willing to trust all to me!"

  "I was; but, if I may take the liberty of observing so, things werediff
erent then. You were wrong about that thunderbolt--you may be wrongabout the ring!"

  "Fool!" she said, "how know you that the quality of the token concernsmy power? Were it even of unworthy metal, has it not brought me hither?"

  "Yes," he said, "but it mightn't be strong enough to pass _me_ the wholedistance, and where should I be then? It don't look more to me than 15carat, and I daren't run any extra risk."

  "How, then, can your doubts be set at rest?" she demanded.

  "Easy," he replied: "there are men who understand these things. All Iask of you is to step over with me, and see one of them, and take hisopinion; and if he says it's gold--why, then I shall know where I am!"

  "Aphrodite submit her claims to the judgment of a mortal!" she cried."Never will I thus debase myself!"

  "Very well," he said, "then we must stay where we are. All I can say is,I've made you a fair offer."

  She paused. "Why not?" she said dreamily, as if thinking aloud. "Havenot I sued ere this for the decision of a shepherd judge--even of Paris?'Tis but one last indignity, and then--he is mine indeed! Leander," sheadded graciously, "it shall be as you will. Lead the way; I follow!"

  But Matilda, who had been listening to this compromise with increduloushorror, clung in desperation to her lover's arm, and sought to impedehis flight. "Leander!" she cried, "oh, Leander! surely you won't be madenough to go away with her! You won't be so wicked and sinful as that!Remember who she is: one of the false gods of the poor benightedheathens--she owned it herself! She's nothing less than a live idol!Think of all the times we've been to chapel together; think of your dearaunt, and how she'll feel your being in such awful company! Let thepolice come, and think what they like: we'll tell them the truth, andmake them believe it. Only be brave, and stay here with me; don't lether ensnare you! Have some pity for me; for, if you leave me, I shalldie!"

  "Already the guards are at your gates," said the statue; "choosequickly--while you may!"

  He put Matilda gently from him: "Tillie," he said, with a convulsiveeffort to remain calm, "you gave me up of your own free will--you knowthat--and now you've come round too late. The other lady spoke first!"

  As she still clung to him, he tried to whisper some last words of aconsoling or reassuring nature, and she suddenly relaxed her grasp, andallowed him to make his escape without further dissuasion--not that hisarguments had reconciled her to his departure, but because she wasmercifully unaware of it.