by Aiden Bates
“Not a damn thing. Must have been some bender.” Ryan slumped.
Anthony rubbed his shoulders and made a soft sound in the back of his throat. “And there was a salty aftertaste?”
“Yeah. What are you saying?” Ryan narrowed his eyes at Anthony.
“I can’t prove anything, not ten years later. But Ryan, there are some really creepy people out there. They’ll slip drugs into people’s drinks, no problem.
“And when they do, some of those drugs have a kind of salty flavor to them, you know? It’s the only way to tell. And it’s common to have huge gaps in your memory.” Anthony held Ryan’s hand and watched his face carefully.
“Son of a bitch.” Ryan’s stomach lurched with shame and humiliation. “And there’s nothing I can do about it now.” Ryan had to be the weakest guy on the planet, to let that happen to him.
“Probably not. It would be impossible to prove, at this late date.” Anthony ran his hand up Ryan’s arm, sending little jolts of electricity through him.
“But Ryan, I’m not pointing this out to make you feel bad. I’m pointing this out because you already feel guilty about what happened with him, and it’s probably not your fault. You were targeted. You were a victim.”
Ryan looked up quickly. “I figured he was a scam artist, but seriously? You think he actually drugged me?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Anthony nodded, eyes sober. “Even though you went to Vegas to forget, you wouldn’t have lost quite so much time. You couldn’t have gotten that drunk, without getting sick and needing to go to the hospital.
“No, I’m pretty sure our boy here was up to more than just seduction.” He stroked Ryan’s face. “Does that make you feel any better?”
Ryan had to think about it. “Oddly enough, yeah. It wasn’t just some spectacularly bad judgement call on my part. I don’t think I could have stopped it.”
“Probably not.” Anthony shook his head. “Is this something you want to explore?”
“No.” Ryan wrapped his arms around Anthony and held on. “I honestly just want to get rid of him and move on with my life.”
“Then he’s a problem we can probably deal with later.” Anthony shifted positions and straddled Ryan, smiling down at him. “Like I said, I’m not going anywhere. I love you. We’ll be together for as long as you’ll have me.”
“Forever,” Ryan promised, before he could scare himself out of it. “I want to be with you forever.” He smirked up at Anthony. “Are you trying to seduce me here?”
Anthony chuckled and rolled his hips. “Is it working?”
Ryan pulled Anthony’s face down for a kiss. God, he’d missed this. He understood why Anthony had stayed away. He got it, he did, but he was glad to have cleared things up now.
Anthony tasted like the mint tea he’d made for both of them. And that in and of itself was odd, because mint tea was something Ryan only used when he was feeling nauseous.
Right — nausea. It was a common sign of early pregnancy. Because Anthony was pregnant. Ryan pulled back and stared at this amazing man who was so open-hearted as to love him.
Anthony was so kind, he was willing to offer himself to Ryan, even though Ryan had been so foolish as to fall victim to a predator at a low point in his life and wake up married.
He lay his hand softly on Anthony’s still flat belly. “Do we really have a baby in there?”
It didn’t seem real. How could a dirtbag like Ryan go from rock bottom — an unwanted husband, hated by his family, and tormented by memories of a hell he’d walked into willingly — to impending fatherhood and a man who adored him in the space of a few hours?
“Yep.” Anthony grinned and picked up Ryan’s other hand. He placed it beside the first, right there on his bare belly. “It’s in there, and it’s ours.” Then he hesitated and looked down. “That is, if you want it.”
Ryan stood up in one fluid motion, grabbing onto Anthony so he wouldn’t accidentally drop him. Anthony would always be precious cargo. Now he was twice as precious, because he had inside of him the promise of a future Ryan had believed was far out of his reach.
“I will always want this baby,” he promised. “This baby is going to be the most beloved child in the history of time. And you know what? The only person more loved that that baby is going to be you. The only person more wanted than that baby will be you. Will you let me make love to you?”
Anthony was holding on for dear life, but he still managed to clap his hands behind Ryan’s head. “Yay! My clever plan to seduce you worked!”
He kissed Ryan and gave a little laugh. “I can’t imagine a time when I’d ever say no, Ryan. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you, and I’ll want you forever. Please make love to me.”
Ryan set his lover down on the bed and carefully removed his ruined shirt. Maybe he could salvage the stupid thing. It seemed foolish to waste it, but it might be more trouble than it was worth. The shirt wasn’t the important part, though. The important part was in showing Anthony how gently he could treat him, and giving him as much care as he could.
He took care of Anthony’s pants, shoes and socks, pausing to admire the beautiful man who’d given him such a willing commitment. He lay on his back, completely bare for Ryan, every inch of him exposed and laid out like some kind of offering. His eyes shone with love and pride, and a contented smile curved his lips. His cock stood at attention, red and proud against his pale belly.
“I am such a lucky man,” Ryan murmured, drinking in the sight. “I am so goddamn lucky. There’s not a man alive who wouldn’t kill to be me right now.” He got rid of his sweatpants, the only barrier between them.
Then he got into the bed beside Anthony. Part of him wanted to just open him up and go to town, and he knew from experience that Anthony wasn’t generally averse to that kind of thing.
But that wasn’t where Ryan’s head was today. He wanted to prove his love to Anthony. He wanted to spend the rest of his life proving his love to Anthony.
He started with a kiss, slow and deep. Anthony responded eagerly, opening his mouth to accept Ryan and draw him in. He tasted divine, but then he always did. His warm breath caressed Ryan’s skin like soft hands, unhurried but still eager. They had all the time in the world.
They had forever.
Ryan drew his lips down Anthony’s throat, something he knew Anthony loved. Just as Ryan expected, Anthony let out a little sigh of delight and turned his head. He rocked his hips, just a little, as he bared his neck for Ryan. Ryan smiled before moving down to nibble along Anthony’s collarbone. Anthony’s little sighs and moans of delight helped to cleanse a little of the blight that had been heaped onto his soul in Ely.
He drew one of Anthony’s nipples into his mouth, watching carefully to make sure he wasn’t going too far. He’d known a guy who got pregnant at Ely, and his nipples had become so sensitive even his jumpsuit hurt.
Ryan needed to make sure every bit of their lovemaking was pleasure for Anthony. He’d already caused Anthony enough pain. Ryan didn’t deserve Anthony, but he was going to spend the rest of his life making sure Anthony was happy.
Anthony didn’t seem to be having any trouble with what Ryan was doing. His eyes were half shut, glittering in the half light, and he squirmed so perfectly on the bed. His cock bobbed against his pale belly, that belly where their baby grew in secret. He was beautiful all of the time, but he was at his most beautiful like this — so wrapped up in desire he was beyond words, his whole being focused on Ryan.
Ryan kept moving his mouth down. He still wanted to put a tattoo on Anthony’s hip, but they could wait until after the baby was born. He just liked the idea of having his mark on Anthony, forever.
Rings were well and good, but they both already knew full well just how easily marriage could be manipulated. The love, the commitment — those were the important parts.
But they would wait until it was safe. Ryan wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the precious baby Anthony carried, and Anthony wouldn’
t let him. He’d just have to be content with sucking a bruise into the tender flesh of Anthony’s slim thigh.
Then he took Anthony’s cock into his mouth. He sucked him in and sucked him deep, but he moved softly and gently, too. He wanted to draw this out for Anthony.
He treasured the way Anthony’s back arched right off the bed, and the way he gripped the sheets in both fists. Anthony’s delight was Ryan’s, and he had to grip himself to make sure he didn’t lose his own erection before he could bury himself deep inside his lover’s body.
Anthony did eventually come, crying out as he did and bucking his hips. Ryan didn’t mind. In fact, he seemed to be trying to hold himself back, which was adorable. Ryan nursed him through the aftershocks, and only then did he start the process of stretching him out.
In this, as in everything else, Ryan took his time. He worked his way carefully until Anthony was completely ready. He knew Anthony didn’t mind quick prep, and he was pretty much as relaxed as a guy could get and still be awake, but Ryan wouldn’t be deterred. He wanted this to be such a sensuous experience that Anthony got hard again, and he wouldn’t stop until it worked.
Only when Anthony’s magnificent cock perked back up did Ryan pull his hand away. “Anthony,” he rumbled. His stomach fluttered. His desire was so strong he could barely see, but he had to have this conversation. “Do you want me to use a condom?”
Anthony blinked his amazing eyes up at Ryan. “What?” He clearly had no idea what Ryan was talking about.
“We’ve been careful, and for good reasons. But well, we’re committed. And the cat’s out of the bag now, so to speak. The condom already broke.
“So… if you want to go bare, we can. If you’d rather wait, it’s okay.” He held his breath waiting for the answer. He knew what he wanted, but he didn’t want to influence Anthony’s answer more than he had to.
“I want to make love to you with as few barriers as possible.” Anthony focused his eyes on Ryan. “If I had my way, I’d peel away everything, skin and bone too, and let you into my actual soul just as bare as you are now. I love you, Ryan.”
Ryan let out a little sob at Anthony’s words. He slicked himself up and slid into Anthony’s tight, hot body in one slow thrust, just the way Anthony liked it.
This was what life was meant for, this moment. Ryan was as deep as he could get in the man he loved, enveloped by him and buried in him. He hid his face in Anthony’s neck and just breathed, taking in the scent and taste of his sweat.
He could feel Anthony’s heart, strong and steady against his ribs. Anthony’s arms and legs circled him. Anthony himself surrounded him entirely, making him safe and contained and content.
“Move,” Anthony whispered into his ear. “Please. I need…”
Ryan pulled his hips back and thrust back in. He didn’t snap them. He didn’t pound inside. He moved slowly, steadily, and deeply, building up to a mountain of sensation for both of them that had them both crying out. It wasn’t fast, and it wasn’t supposed to be. Ryan couldn’t look away from Anthony’s face, and Anthony’s gaze never faltered from Ryan’s.
Finally, Anthony threw his head back and yelled. He was past words by now, but Ryan didn’t need to hear words to know where Anthony was coming from. He could feel Anthony clenching around him, feel his heart rate pick up, hear the thick ropes of his release landing on his skin. It all added up to too much, and his own orgasm exploded from him in a white hot haze.
When he came back to himself, he pulled carefully out of Anthony and got a cloth to clean them both up. Then he climbed back into the bed and took Anthony into his arms. Anthony rested his head on Ryan’s chest like it had always been there, like he’d never have any other pillow.
If Ryan had his way, he wouldn’t ever again. “This is how it’s going to be,” he said, stroking Anthony’s hair. “Now and forever.”
17
Ryan woke up about an hour later. His sleep cycle still hadn’t normalized. It was getting better, but for ten long years he’d been in a place where it wasn’t safe to sleep for more than an hour or two at a stretch.
Those habits didn’t just go away now that the air was cleaner and quieter. It would take time.
He had time now.
He kissed Anthony’s sweet cheek and slid out of bed. It was still early enough to get something done. He grabbed his phone and sent texts to Jamie and Liam. Part of him wanted to keep them at arm’s length still, because they’d both been willing to believe the worst. At the same time, he had a problem he couldn’t solve on his own.
He hopped into the shower and hosed himself down quickly. Then he threw some clothes on, grabbed some beers, and headed down into the garage to wait.
Jamie and Liam showed up together, just as Ryan had expected. Anytime there was trouble, the Roscoes closed ranks, and Ryan doubted there had ever been a time of trouble quite like this one.
They stood so close their shoulders were touching, and once again Ryan had that sense he’d always had as a child — of being an alien in his own family.
He pushed it away. His true family was upstairs, sleeping soundly in their bed.
“Thanks for coming by." He offered them both beers. “How are you holding up?”
Liam shot him a week grin and took a beer. “As well as can be expected. You?”
Ryan smiled. “Hey. I’m great. The man I love is asleep upstairs, we’ve got a baby on the way, and things are looking up for us.”
Both Liam and Jamie did spit takes at that, which made Ryan roll his eyes. Someone was going to have to mop that up, and since he was the business owner that “someone” would be him.
“Wait, baby?” Jamie blurted. “Since when is there a baby? He told me you were careful.”
“I’m not sure how far along he is." Ryan sat down in the rolling chair at the computer station. “We haven’t had that discussion yet. I found out today, which is why I had to interrupt your little drinking binge.”
Liam bowed his head. “And I took my time getting over there to babysit Tommy, because we all thought it was your turn, fair and square."
He ran his free hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry." He picked his head up. “I mean it, bro. I’m sorry for everything.”
Ryan clenched his jaw, but forced himself to let go. Rage wouldn’t help him right now, and it wouldn’t help Tommy. “You had your own stuff going on. And you were all of what, twelve when it all started? Yeah, you should totally have stood up and contradicted Mom and everything she was telling everyone." He gave Liam a big thumbs up.
Jamie threw his arms around Ryan and held on tight. “I have no excuse. We were close. I knew you weren’t that kind of guy. I knew how good you are. I knew you were smart, and loyal, and good.
“And I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything. And then when you came back, I believed the worst. I did. I lit into you about Tommy, instead of asking for your side.”
Ryan patted Jamie’s back. He noticed a flinch of pain there and wondered about it, but Jamie hadn’t said anything, and Ryan didn’t push it. When Jamie was ready to talk about it, he would.
“I wouldn’t have told you anything anyway,” he pointed out instead. “I had to be pissed — really pissed — to say anything tonight. No one was ever supposed to know, but now it’s out there."
He held on a little tighter. “And yeah, you were just a kid too, Jamie. I mean, a young kid, too. Real young. You couldn’t have stopped anything, or changed anything.
“So let’s just move forward, okay? It’s a new decade, a new life. There’s a baby on the way, and life is going to be good from here on in.”
Jamie relaxed a little bit and stood back. “I still can’t believe it. A baby! Anthony never said anything."
He scowled, and then he laughed. “I bet the son of a bitch was drinking club soda instead of vodka tonics, too.”
“I hope so." Ryan looked back toward the secret door. “I’m sure he was. He’s a smart guy. And he’s surprisingly excited abou
t the baby, given how wild everything’s been lately.
“But listen. I need to talk to you guys about something kind of important.”
Liam huffed out a little laugh. “If you’d called us out here to make us grovel, you’d probably have made us do a little more groveling before the hugs came out."
Ryan acknowledged this with a nod of his head. “So, I mentioned earlier about my drunken Vegas mistake.”
His brothers mouthed the words drunken Vegas mistake. Then Jamie snapped his fingers as understanding dawned. “You mean that guy you married. What’s his name again? Paul?”
“Peter." The name itself tasted like poison on Ryan’s tongue. “For the past ten years, I figured it was just one more thing I’d fucked up. Anthony has a different theory. It’s too late to prove anything, but Anthony thinks I might have been targeted.”
Jamie and Liam exchanged glances. “That does make sense, actually,” Liam said slowly, stroking his chin. “You said you blacked out for something like four days. That’s not consistent with just being on a bender. You’d have wound up in the hospital.”
Ryan barked out a little laugh. “Anthony said the same thing. But here’s the thing. Whether Peter drugged me, or I did a stupid thing all by my lonesome, I’ve got a problem now." He pulled up Peter’s email on his phone and showed it to his brothers.
Liam read it first, then passed it to Jamie. They both smirked at each other and then clapped a hand each on Ryan’s shoulder. Jamie actually laughed, which brought a scowl out of Ryan. “Oh, so this is funny to you?”
“Yeah, kind of." Jamie took a swig out of his beer. “Not the part where he probably kept you drugged for four days, because that’s just … something I’m going to choose not to think too hard about, now that we’re on the subject.
“But come on, bro. This guy thinks he can go to the Culvertown media with this story and accomplish something? For real?”
“Right?" Liam snorted and leaned on the pickup truck Ryan had been working on earlier. “The guy can do enough homework to target a Roscoe, but he can’t do enough homework to figure out what that means?" He laughed out loud. “I’m not sure if I should laugh or what, but that’s just monumentally stupid of him. For real.”
