The Heart of a Soiled Dove

by Sarah Jae Foster

  Emmy finally appeared and in time to watch Donovan move Aurora much like a burlap bag of flour. Aurora steadied herself. “Where have you been?”

  “Do you think Donovan handsome?” Emmy asked observing his departure and dodging Aurora’s obvious concern.

  “The only thought I’ve given about him is how incorrigible, moody and unpleasant he is.”

  “Well then, here I was beginning to think you didn’t care for him at all,” Emmy teased.

  “Well?” Aurora persisted.

  Emmy’s eyes narrowed defiantly. “I didn’t know I needed to report on everything I do. I’m a grown woman, same as you.”

  Why did everyone feel the need to walk away from her? She watched Emmy sashay inappropriately around the room. What had gotten into that girl? Then she met Donovan’s eyes briefly as he neared the door. Running away from her, too, no doubt.

  She couldn’t help but consider his blatant disregard. At least Aurora knew why Thatcher Poe didn’t like her. It would have been easier to have an answer explaining the why, where Donovan was concerned. Mixed messages didn’t set well with Aurora. She knew passion when she saw it, and he’d failed to hide his during their dance. The Lord above knew more than anyone Aurora’s lack of interest in giving herself physically to anyone but her future husband – and she wasn’t desperate for that either. She’d prayed to God – if it be His will to give her a husband – to bring her a man who loved Him more than anything. That was what she wanted in the next and last man she’d ever lie with. Then what was it about Donovan that stirred her so? She supposed it didn’t matter. When it came down to it, she was not good enough for him. He’d made it more than abundantly clear. She’d been so used to attention, used to words of flattery, spoken minute after minute, but it wasn’t what she wanted any more. She despised the life she’d led and all she wanted was to have someone look upon her as she was, not for her body. To see her strengths, stand with her in times of weakness. Yet, she wasn’t getting any respect from Donovan and it drove her crazy with fear of being disliked. Was she that difficult and unacceptable? Suddenly she realized why it stung so much to be rejected by Donovan. It was because he was wrong. His disdain for her was simply unjust. He didn’t even know of her past and still he didn’t care to be around her.

  All she wanted was a fair chance. A burning tear threatened. Every other man she’d come in contact with would have given anything to be with her. Without selling herself, she was destined to be alone. Maybe love didn’t come after a body was spent over and over – even if it’d never meant anything.

  Luke arrived at her side and her emotions lightened. “I do hope for their happiness.” She sighed, watching Roman and Carrie Anne.

  “And I hope for that second dance, now that you have your breath back.”

  The next morning drew a whole crew for building the Brennans a two-room log cabin on Aurora’s property. She was quick to notice Donovan’s absence.

  The sun penetrated through the cold morning chill, clearing it away around noon. It was pleasant working, visiting and teasing. This was what Aurora loved, much action and goings-on at her place. It wasn’t long before the entire frame was finished and Carrie Anne seemed beside herself with joy.

  Her only input was where to extend the garden. “Since two families live here,” she said brightly to Aurora.

  “You take all the space you need. You’ll be having little ones to feed before long.”

  “Oh, I hadn’t thought,” Carrie Anne gushed. “Thank you, Aurora!”

  Aurora watched her run off to Roman. “As if I’ll have anything to do with it.” She shook her head and laughed a little.

  Luke met her halfway to the house. “I’d be willing to stay on and work for you.”

  Feeling cautious she said, “I appreciate that, but I have a feeling if I take away another one of Donovan’s men, he’ll not take it lightly.”

  “Roman wasn’t one of his men.”

  She stopped. “But Donovan told me he was his top hand.”

  “He was his top hand alright, but Roman is his brother, and he chose to stay here rather than be with him.”

  “What?”

  Luke’s brows creased at her tone.

  “His… brother?”

  “You didn’t know?” He hooked his arm through hers and walked her back to the house. She did not feel like having a stroll, but kept with him.

  “Well, shoot. It ain’t no secret. Though I guess they don’t go round spouting it to the world, I suppose.”

  “But why the last names?”

  “Two different mothers, same father. Best you just leave it alone – alright?”

  They entered the kitchen.

  He continued with his plea. “Now, can I work for you, or not?”

  Still reeling after that news, she merely nodded. “You can. But only through winter, then you go back to Donovan. He doesn’t need reason to hate me any more than he does. Just be ready for roundup in the spring for him.”

  “What do you know about roundup?” His smile and tone became flirtatious.

  She looked at him staunchly. “Nothing.”

  He chucked her beneath her upturned chin. “May we make a bunkhouse after the cabin’s done?”

  “Build whatever you want. I’ll tell Mr. Clawson that you may order necessary supplies.” She would have a livelier place now and this would take away the drudgery of staying indoors all winter. She liked Luke; he was a good man. A good friend.

  Aurora watched him go and was satisfied at having a hand in making someone happy at least. Now, what to do about Emmy and her rebellion?

  Chapter Eight

  Aurora’s property covered dozens of miles and every day she discovered another inch of it. Her daily rides became longer and longer, wanting to get as much time outside as possible. With winter being a month away, she dreaded the thought of being snow bound. As she sat astride her horse, the scent of the cold season was strong and her breath sent out puffs of miniature clouds. The sound of a rider coming broke into her peaceful reverie. Roman was trotting towards her and her quiet space.

  “I thought you’d be out here.”

  She eyed him. “Am I that obvious?”

  He adjusted his hat and looked outward to where her view had been resting. “I’ve been thinking a lot about something.”

  She looked upon him, waiting to hear his thoughts.

  “I hope you don’t think I’m taking liberties and I don’t want to be impertinent….”

  “What is it, Roman?” He was trying her patience. After all, he’d ruined her coveted tranquility.

  “I was wondering what you actually aim to do with all this?” His arm swept towards the horizon.

  She took in his bright eyes. “Why?”

  “What would you think if I suggested starting that cattle ranch?” With hat in hands now, he looked anxious, hoping.

  It was a long while before Aurora answered. A cattle baroness? An ex-whore who did not become a madam, but a baroness? “I would say that I have already been thinking along those lines.”

  Her smile sent a “whoop” out of him.

  She sobered. “But wouldn’t I be in direct competition with the Double R Ranch?”

  She witnessed a dark shadow pass over his rugged features.

  “He’s too big, Aurora. It wouldn’t be competition. We would just do enough to get by – we would never out bid him. If we respect Donovan, he’ll do the same.”

  She turned her horse full circle so they faced each other. “I know you are brothers. You wouldn’t be using me for any vendettas or anything. Would you be, Roman Brennan?”

  He almost laughed but her serious face seemed to warn him. “I have nothing against Donovan, other than he was the legitimate one.”

  “You weren’t?”

  “I have my mother’s name. Our father, it seemed, liked to sire children from here to the Mexican border. It’s understood that we have a few other siblings out there.”

  “Oh.”

&nbs
p; “It’s nothing, really. Donovan built up his ranch on his own. It wasn’t our father’s money. No inheritance was ever on the line. Pa was a washed up, gambling, drunk – and he’s dead. So’s my ma and Donovan’s ma. It’s just us together and he’d given me a home. I think he always felt bad for me. Despite what he appears to be to you, he’s a fair man.”

  “How come he’s partial to you and not your other brothers or sisters?”

  “My mother was the Ramsey maid since before either of us were born. Apparently, our father wanted to have it all, mistress and wife under the same roof. He ended up losing everything to gambling. By then we were young men and my ma was sick and dying. We grew up together as brothers.”

  “Where was Donovan’s mother when your father lost everything?”

  “That’s not up to me to talk about.”

  “Of course.” Desiring a lighter mood and subject, she asked, “So, you think we’ve it in us to start a cattle ranch?”

  “We have that and more.”

  Aurora was renewed with purpose and approached home exhausted from the day’s ride, and she had no patience for Emmy’s strong will – which she knew she’d encounter upon seeing her all dressed up, heading to the barn. She peeled off her riding gloves. “Is that a new dress, Emmy?”

  “It is. Like it?” She spun around.

  “That shade of blue suits you perfectly. You seem to be heading off somewhere?”

  “I’m going to town.”

  Aurora looked at her with apprehension. “By yourself?”

  “I’ll be fine. I only take the main roads. I’ll see you later.”

  Only the main roads… how often does she go?

  Luke had heard their exchange and cast an odd look at Emmy and her departure, then walked up to Aurora. Proudly, he held two wild birds. “Got our dinner tonight.”

  “I see that. You expecting me to pluck them?”

  “Well, it is women’s work.”

  She took a threatening step towards him and he pretended to be afraid. “But I can see if Carrie Anne is up to doing it.”

  She thrust out her hands. “Give me those birds.”

  He laughed and handed them over. “Just take it out on them, not me, would ya?”

  “We’ll see about that. Don’t you have some work to do or something?”

  He tipped his hat towards her. “Yep, and I’ll be back for dinner.”

  Jed stopped by during supper and was invited to partake of the meal, though it was obvious he was in a hurry. “Where’s Emmy?”

  Aurora was surprised at the glare Luke pierced him with.

  “She went to town,” Aurora said. “Although I don’t know what for.”

  Jed choked on some meat and held up a greasy hand. “Apologize, must have been a bone.”

  Luke grew increasingly quiet and Roman and Carrie Anne were oblivious to anything but each other. Jed shoveled a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and washed it down with well water.

  “Obliged for the supper. I hate to go but I’ve other business to attend to.”

  A minute after his departure Luke excused himself from the table. Aurora became attuned to the awkwardness and went to listen in on their conversation. She didn’t like conspiracy or secrets and planned on finding out what was going on beneath her nose.

  Luke was speaking to Jed. “Watch yourself.”

  “You threatening me?”

  “You know I’m not. I just don’t want these women hurt, alright?”

  Aurora risked peeking out the curtain, her skin crawling with suspicion.

  “Who’s hurtin’ them? Just having a little fun is all. And it surely ain’t as though I’m acting alone.” He reached down from the horse he was mounted on and slapped Luke on the shoulder in a jesting way. “Seems to me you’d wanna get in on it, too.” Jed looked towards the house and Aurora threw herself against the wall. “Course, maybe you’re saving your options.”

  “Just get out of here, Jed.”

  “See ya around.”

  After that, Luke had said a quick good night and stayed away the rest of the evening.

  By morning it was snowing. Aurora thought she would love snow after Carrie Anne’s description of winters back home, all the sledding, hot cider and sleigh rides. But coldness was certainly not Aurora’s friend and she was having second thoughts. Peering out, she did have to admit its beauty – lacy floating flakes and white pureness covering the ground like a blanket. Aurora heard wood being dumped onto the front porch and figured Roman made the deposit. She was not opposed to working herself, but it would be silly if she didn’t like being cared for by the men in her life. However, the setback from lack of work was boredom.

  Emmy came down the stairs holding her head and squinting her eyes.

  “You alright, Em?” It was almost noon and Aurora was getting miffed at her sleeping in everyday. But what could she do? There were hardly chores to do with the men here, now winter up and came early. Milking the cow was one of Aurora’s favorite things, Carrie Anne fed and cared for the chickens and Emmy was left with nothing to do but sleep in.

  Maybe she ought to help find her a hobby. Emmy stumbled into the kitchen and poured herself some coffee.

  “I’ll make fresh if you’d like.”

  Emmy took a gulp. “This is fine.”

  “Would you like to do something today?”

  She looked at Aurora sarcastically. “Like what? Race with the chickens?”

  Aurora sighed. “I only meant that we find an interest for you,” she said, treading lightly. “Maybe we could start a project together, sew… or paint?”

  “I don’t know how to do neither.”

  “I could pull a book and we could read.”

  Emmy wrinkled her nose just as Luke popped his head in. “Thought you girls might like to come outside and see this.”

  Ruled by curiosity, they stepped outside. A snowball flew through the air and splattered across the door – missing Aurora by inches.

  “Why you!” she shouted at Roman, then stood in shock as shy little Carrie Anne wadded up another snowball and threw it at Emmy.

  “That’s it! This is war.” Emmy scooped up some snow and took aim at Carrie Anne, who screamed and ran behind her husband, who promptly moved out of the way. “You’re on your own my sweet.”

  Aurora looked at Luke who’d bent to retrieve some snow. She booted him in the behind and heard his swearing as she slammed the door. Safe inside, she made for the back door where Luke met her, prepared with an arsenal of snowballs. He chased her until she cried, “I give up!”

  “Oh, no you don’t!” he hollered.

  She fell in the snow and he landed next to her, wholeheartedly rubbing her face with the icy white powder. She spit out a mouthful. “Luke Rigby, I’ll dock your wages.”

  He got up and shook snow from his pants. “Dock whatever you want. It was worth it.”

  He laughed before helping her up. “Truce?”

  She took in his ruddy face and capitulated. “Truce. Now help me make some hot cider for everyone.”

  “Seems to me that’s women’s work.” That tended to be his favorite saying, but still, she burned him with a look that could melt the snow right off of him.

  He surrendered. “Alright, alright. I’ll help ya.”

  Together they turned around to find Donovan standing right there. It was clear by the look on his face that he did not share in their frolicking.

  “Where’s Roman?” he addressed Luke.

  “Check his cabin?”

  “Of course I did.”

  They heard someone scream then bellow with laughter. Luke cringed. “Check over yonder… better yet, I’ll do it.” And he left Aurora all alone with the incorrigible man raking his gaze over her. She straightened herself and wished she wasn’t heated with embarrassment. “A snowball fight,” she explained lamely.

  He cocked an eyebrow with disapproval and, as expected, presented her with his backside walking away.

  As tempted a
s she was to knock some politeness into him with a snowball to the back of the head, she did not dare. And unfortunately, with the brief look she saw in his heated brown eyes, she noticed what Emmy always did, just how handsome Donovan Ramsey really was, scowl or no scowl.

  The lunch meal was quiet and thoughtful while everyone slurped down chicken and vegetable soup with Carrie Anne’s homemade dumplings floating around the top. Carrie Anne called it Southern. The dish was new to Aurora and she liked it very much.

  Luke pushed his empty bowl to the middle of the table. “I have a checker board if anyone’s interested.”

  Emmy’s face lit up and, although Aurora wanted to play, she stayed mute. It seemed it was Luke’s intent to have Aurora as a companion and she didn’t want to entertain him that way.

  “I would love to,” Emmy said.

  Carrie Anne began clearing dishes. Roman stopped Aurora from helping by placing his hand over hers. “I need to talk to you.”

  Alarmed, she sat back down. “Is there a problem?”

  “I told Donovan about the cattle ranch today. He came over because he heard I was making inquiries in town about our business and wanted to know for himself.”

  “You didn’t tell him before all this?” Just what she needed. No wonder he’d been in a mood.

  “I meant to…. How could I know he’d hear it from someone else?”

  “It’s too late for that. Has he misunderstood our intentions?”

  Carrie Anne looked over her shoulder at them. “Are you sure you both want to ranch?”

  Her husband smiled. “You’ll still have your garden and chickens.”

  “I should say so.”

  Aurora hid her smile. Carrie Anne was bashful as a baby, but if you messed with her garden….

  “Donovan’s fine – now,” Roman said. “Naturally he was put out being on the defensive, but I owned up to my mistake.”