The Heart of a Soiled Dove

by Sarah Jae Foster

  “Sure, he’s fine with you. Me, on the other hand, is who he’ll blame.”

  “He won’t. I told him it was all my idea. I think he’s happy for me in his own way. Donovan wants me to prosper, he just wished I did it on his ranch. He’ll support me in whatever I do.”

  Foreboding crept through her none the less. “I’m glad for that.”

  “Aurora, let’s play,” Luke called out. She turned to see Emmy surrendering her spot at the table. “I’m going to bed,” she said.

  Aurora hadn’t gotten the chance to visit with Emmy about her disappearing acts and sleeping her days away, but now was not the time with a houseful of guests.

  “Night, Em.”

  She soon got into a match with Luke, and when she won for the second time, Luke complained, “Beginners luck.”

  “You would rather me lose for your honor?”

  “You know I would.”

  Carrie Anne set a tray of tea and coffee for all to serve themselves, and yawned tiredly. It gave Roman a cue that was anything but secret. It seemed absurd when Roman stretched and said, “Good night.”

  Aurora poured tea for herself and some coffee for Luke.

  “Much obliged,” he said, brushing his hand against hers. She quickly withdrew.

  “I think we, too, should call it a night after all.”

  She wished him a good night, then brought her tea and Bible up to her room to settle in away from Luke and his searching eyes.

  Later in the night, the bountiful moon drew Aurora’s attention. She slid out of bed, pulling a quilt around her. Her thoughts were intent upon Roman’s plans for a cattle ranch and excitement spilled through her. It seemed so long ago that she thought of owning cattle, and then got no further until Roman would help make it possible. She shivered when the cold crept uninvitingly between her blankets. Slight snowflakes fell sedately beyond her window, sending silvery sparkles from the night sky. She was admiring her property and realized how much they had built in such a short time. The barn had long since been fully repaired and now sported a new bunkhouse on the eastern side of it. The chicken coop was tiptop and the garden area splendid.

  As Aurora mused, a shadowy figure left the bunkhouse. Thinking it was Luke using the outhouse, she gave it no thought. Until she watched the figure move towards the back of her house instead. Had he left something behind earlier in the evening? Suddenly, another figure emerged and went into the barn. Apprehensive, Aurora waited. A man pulled his horse from the barn and, as his animal was led away, she saw the white bone saddle. Jed owned that saddle… didn’t he? She heard the kitchen door creak softly. Whoever it was crept cautiously up the stairs. Aurora opened her door a crack and saw Emmy pass by quietly and disappear into her bedroom.

  The remainder of her night was anything but restful.

  By the noon hour the next day her temper was sour. When Aurora first saw evidence of a half-sleeping Emmy, she wanted to demand answers. She always appeared to have an ache in her head, and Aurora noted it again today as Emmy used her hand to block the light from her eyes.

  “I made you some hot cakes.”

  Emmy looked to control her hand from shaking as she lifted a teacup to her mouth. It wasn’t so noticeable to anyone else, but Aurora certainly detected it and her heart fell in suspicion. This was not good.

  “I’ll wrap them in a cloth and leave them for you, Emmy. I hope you eat sooner rather than later.” Unsure of what else to say and not trusting herself to speak kindly, Aurora grabbed a basket of yarned goods and headed to Carrie Anne’s for their knitting. They were making Christmas gifts and Aurora was done wasting time trying to coax Emmy into joining them. Aurora missed the old Emmy. She felt helpless and prayed a lot.

  PART TWO

  5 months later

  The cool and tart lemon water refreshed the girls as they attempted to avoid the direct mid-day heat of the sun.

  “I miss Roman,” Carrie Anne said depressingly.

  These three words Aurora heard a dozen times a day and she tried to hold her patience in check. “I know you do.” She broached a turn in conversation. “Your garden’s coming out real nice.”

  They looked over the produce, with its greens just tipping the soil. “It is. I told you I just needed a full grow season. We’ll have much more this winter.”

  Aurora smiled. “So you’ve said.”

  Suddenly, she placed her hand on Carrie Anne to shush her to attention. “Listen.” Carrie Anne’s brows creased in concentration. A faint pounding echoed from miles away. Aurora spilled her lemonade. “It’s them. It’s them!”

  Carrie Anne shrieked and headed towards her cabin. Aurora ran upstairs to don her riding habit. Her cattle were finally coming. She remembered having her first disagreement with Roman when he left six weeks ago. He informed her that she could not come. Having no experience with cattle was dangerous business. And she argued that she could never get experience if she never accompanied them. She relented only because Carrie Anne should not be left all alone. Of course he reminded her of this. He was wise to prey like that on her weakness for his wife.

  All past disputing was put aside now as Aurora tingled with excitement. With her change of clothes finished, she met up with Carrie Anne in the barn. Both girls heaved saddles onto mares and kicked off into gallops towards the men. Two different motivations beat in their hearts – one to see a dream come to pass with a title of baroness, the other to reunite with the man she’s been dying to see. They caught sight of the herd with a few men interspersed throughout the rumble and raced towards their marks. Aurora had never met the men Roman hired on and rode past two of them with a nod. She held back as much as her excitement would allow, giving Carrie Anne a moment alone with her husband, then made her way to them.

  The odor of cattle was stifling. She covered her mouth and nose with a handkerchief and shouted, “Good to see you, Roman.”

  He was beaming. “We started with a hundred twenty-five head. Got hundred four left.”

  Aurora heard Roman say to his wife, “The men are mighty hungry.”

  Carrie Anne would want her to go back and help prepare food. Aurora, the baroness, would need to return and… cook. It was not what she wanted to do but she would not allow Carrie Anne to take that burden alone. She wanted to stay and ride with her cattle, with the men. Surely Roman saw her conflict because he said gently, “We’ll get your cattle home.”

  She would have plenty of time to elicit every bit of information from her foreman later.

  When she reached the barn a new ranch hand greeted her. Clearly, he’d ridden ahead of the crew. He said kindly, “Senorita.”

  “Greetings…?’”

  “Philippe.” He took her horse and began to groom the animal.

  “Very nice to meet you.” She wanted to bear witness to his skill and once she was satisfied – he was an expert no doubt if Roman hired him – she entrusted her stock to him and turned to see a dusted up Luke trotting towards her. She hadn’t seen him for weeks.

  “Luke!” She ran to meet him.

  He hopped off his horse, laughing in surprise. “What a nice welcome.”

  She was breathless by the time she reached him. “What brings you here?” She kept up with his pace as he walked the animal towards the barn.

  “Just got a day off is all. Donovan’s got plenty of hands and I asked for a day to myself.”

  “You want to see what we’re up to, don’t ya?” She teased.

  “I reckon it’s one reason.”

  “What’s the other?”

  He reddened. “Maybe have a decent meal… or two.”

  She hooked her arm through his. “I can handle all of your requests. It’s so good to see you. I’ll take you out on the range myself.”

  He raised an eyebrow and she shot him a look of consternation. “I happen to know a bit about ranching, Mr. Rigby.”

  “You’ve had your cattle what… three minutes now?”

  “I’ve been working alongside Roman.”
r />   “Then you shall give me a tour,” Luke quipped.

  “Come on.” She pulled him gently. “I’ve been wanting to ride, now you’ve provided me with the excuse.”

  An hour and a picnic basket later, the two took a leisurely ride. Happiness filled Aurora as Luke gave his approval of the preparation for the oncoming cattle.

  She spotted her favorite area for rest. “There’s a pleasant hilly area over there. Let’s eat.”

  “Aurora….”

  “Yes?”

  “I have to ask – what’s going on with Emmy?”

  She dismounted and spread a blanket. “What do you mean?”

  “How long have you known each other?”

  Aurora felt her arms prickle. She did not wish to speak about their past. “Why?” Old feelings of concern disturbed her. “What about Emmy?”

  He shifted. “Where is she now?”

  “What are you getting at, Luke?”

  “I just think you ought to ask her what she does in town is all.”

  Her heart grew with concern. “She works at the assayer’s office, why?”

  “Nothing in particular I wish to share.” He grabbed an apple from the basket and took a quick bite to avoid speaking.

  “You’re a coward.”

  Mouth full, he said, “I know.”

  The mood had been ruined for her. After the sun migrated farther and farther to the west, they packed up and headed home. They talked of trivial things and Luke said good night when they reached the ranch. “Won’t you stay for some coffee? I’m sure Roman would like your company.”

  He tipped his hat towards her. “I best be on my way.”

  Soon after, she found herself alone again. Aurora browsed her bookshelf, which had grown larger in volume as she’d ordered new titles from back East. Selecting one, she would read in bed until sleep came. It was the first time she did not bother to leave a lantern on for Emmy’s return.

  The next morning Aurora was well into the herd when she saw Emmy riding alongside Roman. Elation overcame worry, and now she needn’t question her as Luke had suggested. She witnessed her friend’s proud look at all the cattle roaming about. When she was close enough, Aurora said, “It’s so good to see you.”

  Roman left after he deposited Emmy, no doubt anxious to get back to work. Emmy’s eyes followed his departure. “I asked him to bring me to you.”

  “I’m glad you did.”

  “What can I do?”

  Missing her friend overwhelmed Aurora. “What do you want to do?”

  “Roping.”

  They laughed together in the clean, open air. “Yeah, right.”

  “What do you do out here all day?” Emmy asked.

  “Mostly watch the men, stay out of their way. I just want to learn what they do. I do menial things and make myself available should they need anything.” She took on a mischievous look. “Roman has been teaching me how to fire a pistol.”

  Emmy looked around at the ranch hands. “Could I do those things, too?”

  “Emmy, you can do anything you put your mind to. I’m so happy to have you by my side today.” Hope swelled within her heart and she thanked the Lord for bringing Emmy back.

  Throughout the day they learned how to round up cattle into specific areas for feeding. The men were patient and spent time mentoring. The lasso Emmy tried for hours to perfect, kept coming loose. Aurora laughed at her and then was lassoed herself by Martin Ritter, one of the new hands. She shrieked and Emmy hollered, “Much obliged, Martin!”

  Aurora announced that it was near supper and the men should plan on ham and sweetened carrots tonight. “Except for Martin.” She winked and turned her mount towards home. She smelled of sweat and leather, a far cry from French perfume and rose petals in her bathtub once upon a time. And she wouldn’t change this lifestyle of hers for the world.

  Chapter Ten

  The next time Aurora saw Luke, Christopher was with him. Aurora had been surprised by the lateness of the call, but wouldn’t think twice about entertaining friends.

  “Come in. I’ll set some coffee on. We’re in luck – Carrie Anne brought us over some molasses cookies today.”

  With Emmy, the four sat around a table and Christopher pulled out his cards. “I’m gonna teach you girls some poker.”

  “Playing for beans, of course.”

  “Of course, Aurora. What did you think? I’d take your money?” Christopher smirked.

  She egged him on. “You might wish in the end to take back those words.” Aurora sat in position to be dealt in. She smiled beautifully at her opponents. She was competitive and into the game, so it did not register how Luke was peculiar in his mannerism towards Emmy. And she vaguely saw the guilt cross Emmy’s face whenever Christopher spoke to her.

  Emmy nearly panicked when he said, “Emmy, let’s get some fresh air.”

  “I should help Aurora….”

  Aurora was quick to give the couple time alone. Emmy needed friends and she wasn’t going to allow her to sulk alone day in and day out. No more. “Nonsense, you go outside. Luke will help me clean up.”

  When the couple disappeared Luke said, “Apologies that I brought him tonight. He insisted.”

  She looked at him, her brows creased. “Why should I care that he came? He’s delightful company. You’ve no call to apologize.”

  “It’s just late and I didn’t mean to inconvenience you.”

  She set down the saucer and rested her fingers onto his muscled arm. “Your visits are never an inconvenience, Luke. You ought to know that by now.”

  Aurora turned from him gently and returned to the sink basin. Too late she saw that his hand raised, just missing a stroke to her hair. She gulped hard and pretended not to have noticed. She handed him a cup. “Dry.”

  He lowered his hand. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  It happened a few days after Emmy returned from spending time with Christopher. Aurora’s hope had been dashed and Emmy had withdrawn emotionally. It was disheartening to see that there wasn’t anything good enough to keep her around the ranch. That she herself was not enough, her friendship, her love and care. At least the weeks Emmy had stayed home had fattened her some. Aurora felt better about that. But for whatever reason, Emmy decided to pick up old habits again.

  Carrie Anne nudged her from thought with a slip of paper in hand. It contained items Roman needed from town. The interruption was welcome, breaking the spell of inadequacy. With pride Carrie Anne stated, “I wrote this list myself.”

  Aurora glanced at the page and nodded with approval. “I’m so proud of you. Looks like you don’t need any more learning.”

  “Would you mind if I borrowed your books?”

  “Of course not. I have a better idea. I would like you to order yourself a couple from the store today. They’ll be yours to keep.”

  “I couldn’t do that, Aurora.”

  “You can and you will. You work just as hard as the rest of us. Don’t worry, you can still borrow mine.”

  Carrie Anne looked troubled. “I’ll have to check with Roman on this.”

  “I understand.”

  “Meantime, I’ll just borrow yours.”

  They climbed into the buggy and rode in comfortable silence until they reached the mercantile. Aurora left Carrie Anne to the business of seeing the list filled by Mr. Clawson and set out on foot to pay a surprise visit to Emmy. She arrived at the assayer’s office and waited until he finished with a customer. “Can I help you, Miss Young?”

  “I was hoping to see Emmy while I’m in town. I brought her something to eat for later.”

  Confusion swept over his eyes. “You’ll not find her here.”

  “But I thought….”

  “She hadn’t worked for me but the one time.”

  “But she comes to town daily,” she said and shook her head. “I apologize to have bothered you.”

  He stepped out from his desk. “The fact is, she was a good worker. I was disappointed in her decision not to continue on. Gi
ve her my regards when you see her next, would you?”

  Aurora looked into his kind and sincere eyes. “Yes. I will. Thank you.”

  She searched the buildings of town and wondered why Emmy wouldn’t have told her she worked elsewhere. It should be no secret. The heaviness in her spirit weighed her down until she could no longer deny what Emmy was up to. She felt her heart would shatter into a thousand pieces at the thought of Emmy selling herself.

  And to make her day worse, the last man Aurora ever wanted to see emerged from the jail. She quickly went towards the mercantile in order to avoid him. But it was not to be. The sheriff spotted her and walked slowly after her.

  “What are you doing at the assayer’s office? A cattle ranch not enough for you? You mining, too?” Corbin Bradbury folded his arms.

  She despised his condescension. “What I do is none of your business.”

  He peered down. “My job is to know everyone’s business.”

  “Please, just leave me alone.”

  He looked towards Thatcher Poe’s place. “You wouldn’t be looking around for your girl would ya be?”

  “She’s not mine,” she snapped.

  “I suppose I wouldn’t want to lay claim to her neither anymore.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Looks like I’ll soon be getting all the proof I need on you and your little ‘ranching’ operation,” he sneered.

  She burned with confusion. Would someone tell her what was going on? Her determination was overwhelming. There was a misunderstanding and Aurora would get to the bottom of everyone’s vague attitude where Emmy was concerned. But as the sheriff continued to gloat, she knew no forthcoming answer would be coming from him. As she managed to get away as stoically as possible, she heard him say, “Check in with Thatcher, why don’t ya?”

  Aurora gasped.

  With that awful comment he finally left her alone. She sought out the Lady of the Night Saloon. Is that what he meant? Emmy would be there? Was that Donovan Ramsey dismounting in front of it? Torn between curiosity and keeping Carrie Anne safe from this town, she went back to the mercantile.