To Breathe Again (Learning To Live Again Book 3)

by Dori Lavelle

  Kelsey pursed her lips and nodded, relieved. “Shaun, we’ll get through this together. You are strong, but if some of your strength leaves you, I’ll be strong for both of us.”

  He kissed her and stood up. “Do you mind if I go out for a bit? I want to go for a drive, then I’ll drop by Garrett’s office.”

  “Of course not.” His brother would help him digest the news, and that gave Kelsey some iota of comfort. “See you later. I love you.”

  After Shaun left, Kelsey returned to the kitchen. Rachel stood at the window, gazing out at her vegetable garden.

  “He’s not taking it well, is he?” She turned and looked at Kelsey with a sad smile. “I’m so afraid, Kelsey. I’m afraid he’ll start running again. I’m afraid of losing him again.”

  Kelsey touched Rachel’s shoulder. “I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen.” She paused as an idea came to her. “Would you mind telling me what Shaun’s favorite meal was when he was a child? I might want to prepare it for him.”

  “That’s a wonderful idea.” Rachel reached toward a shelf to her right and pulled out a hardcover book with the title Brannon Recipes written on its front. She leafed through it until she came to a page that she presented to Kelsey. Kelsey looked down, impressed. There was a heading there. It said simply “Shaun.”

  “Wow,” she breathed. “Did you make this?”

  “Yes, I had it printed when my boys were small. Each one of them has a chapter dedicated to their favorite meals. I’m sure you’ll be able to find something in there. There are desserts and snacks as well.”

  Kelsey leafed through the chapter. “This is beautiful. And such an amazing idea. I’ll pick something. Thank you, Rachel.” She kissed Rachel on the cheek.

  “I have a crotchet class with my friends this evening. You’ll have the place to yourselves.” She touched Kelsey’s cheek.

  “You don’t need to thank me, Rachel. I’d do anything for Shaun, just as I know he’d do anything for me.”

  Rachel nodded. “I think I should go and lie down for a bit. This news took a lot out of me. Choose what you want to cook, though, and I’ll get the ingredients for you in an hour.”

  “That’s not necessary. Go and take a nap. I’ll go to the Shop ‘n’ Carry across the street. If I don’t find what I’m looking for, I’ll let you know.”

  “Okay.” Rachel shuffled out, her feet barely lifting off the ground.

  Kelsey put the recipe book down and leaned against the counter, covering her face with her hands. She forced herself to breathe.

  Chapter Ten

  Kelsey hummed to herself as she pushed her shopping cart down the produce aisle. She was on the search for fresh chili peppers to make chili con carne.

  She had just picked up a bag of peppers when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Someone was watching her.

  She turned to find two snooty-looking, elegantly dressed women with expensive-looking strollers staring directly at her, not making any attempt to hide the fact that they were gossiping about her.

  She flashed back to the day Shaun had taken her to the farmer’s market in Dreara. Her lips twitched with a smile that she wiped off immediately. There was nothing funny about this situation. These women were rude. Lifting her chin, she turned her whole front toward them and stared right back, arms crossed over her chest.

  They smirked and wheeled their strollers away.

  Kelsey exhaled and continued her shopping. It quickly became clear the women with the strollers weren’t the only ones who found her interesting. Several other people at the store threw her disapproving looks. For God’s sake, was this bloody high school? She ignored them and pretended she didn’t care, but she had to admit she was getting uncomfortable.

  When a young couple actually pointed at her, she threw everything else she needed into her cart and rushed to the checkout line. She placed her products on the conveyer belt and waited for the cashier, a woman with long braids, to finish with the old lady in front of Kelsey.

  When Kelsey’s turn came, she pulled out her purse. But the cashier looked down the queue, as if Kelsey weren’t even there. She put on a bright red-lipped smile and turned to the next person in line. “Next, please.”

  The woman behind Kelsey pushed passed and placed her products at the front of the belt.

  “What are you doing? I was in front of you.” Kelsey gaped at the woman, then turned to the cashier. “I’m standing right in front of you. Don’t you see me?”

  The woman shrugged and her smile transformed into a snarl. “We don’t serve murderer’s whores,” she spat, and began scanning the next customer’s carton of milk.

  Kelsey’s skin prickled and her cheeks burned. “Did you just call me a whore?”

  “That’s right.” The woman didn’t bother looking over at Kelsey.

  This situation called for her dark side. “Well, I think you’re a bitch. And you’re working in the wrong place. You’re taking someone’s place—someone who would treat customers with respect.”

  Leaving behind a wake of gasps and whispers, she left her groceries right there on the belt. The bitch can go and put them back herself.

  She stormed out, swallowing her tears, feeling the pang of rejection Shaun must have been all too familiar with. She wandered the streets for half an hour until a bakery caught her eye. Mel’s Delights. She’d heard Shaun mention it some time ago. She’d get herself a nice cup of tea and some doughnuts for comfort. If they agreed to serve her, of course.

  She pushed open the door, which gave a little chime. There were no other customers in the bakery. The woman behind the counter had a smile on her face, but the longer she looked at Kelsey, the more her smile waned. Then it disappeared all together.

  Kelsey drew in a breath and stepped closer to the display case next to the cash register. She glanced at the framed menu behind the woman then looked back at her with a genuine smile. “I’d like two chocolate strawberry donuts, please. And a cup of black tea.”

  The woman dropped her gaze. “We’ve run out of those,” she said.

  Kelsey threw her hands in the air and laughed mirthlessly. “Are you kidding me? What’s wrong with you people? Don’t you serve visitors to your town?” She pointed into the glass display. “There. There are six donuts in there. Can I have two, please?”

  “They’ve been preordered,” she said. “Sorry.” Then she grabbed a rag and began wiping down the countertop.

  At that moment, a gorgeous redhead with amber eyes appeared in the doorway behind the counter. Without saying a word to her colleague, she opened the display and removed two chocolate strawberry donuts, placed them on a plate, and handed them to Kelsey. “On the house,” she said. “Lissy, go pack your things. Your trial period is over. You’re not hired.”

  The blood drained from Lissy’s face, but she sucked in her cheeks and disappeared through the door.

  “Hi, I’m Melissa Dane.” The redhead stretched out her hand as another woman walked out from the back. “And this is my friend, Josie Deare. She helps out here sometimes. I’m sorry for how you were treated.”

  Kelsey smiled and shook hands with both of them. “That’s okay. I’m Kelsey O’Neil. Thank you for the donuts. I’ve heard a lot about this place.”

  “I know,” Melisa said. “Shaun is an old friend of my husband, Heat. Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll bring you your tea. We can have a chat.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Go ahead, Mel,” Josie said. “I’ll make the tea.”

  “Thanks,” Melisa said. “Follow me, Kelsey. There haven’t been many people in today. We had a busy day yesterday. Sometimes it’s nice to just take a breath and get to know my customers a little.”

  “This place is gorgeous.”

  “Thanks. This is my baby. We have come a long way together. I have several franchises across the country.” She waved her hand at a booth. “This is my favorite spot. Let’s sit.”

  They sat. Melisa rested her elbows on th
e table and clasped her hands together. “Funny of you to show up today. We were thinking of coming to see you and Shaun tomorrow.”

  “How did you know who I was?”

  “Well, dear, everyone in this town knows who you are. But I also have to admit I saw a photo of you that Shaun sent to Heat a while back. You’re even more beautiful in person. How do you like Serendipity?”

  Josie walked over with a steaming mug, which she placed in front of Kelsey. “Here you go. I forgot to ask if you wanted sugar or milk with it.”

  “I’ll take it just the way it is, thank you.”

  “Why don’t you sit with us, Josie? There’s no one here.”

  “I should run. I have to order flowers for the big day.”

  Melisa smiled up at her friend. “Josie runs a wedding planning business with her sisters,” she explained. “Even if she spends most of her time here.”

  “I just can’t stay away. I’ll pick the cake up tomorrow, Mel. Say hi to Heat for me. Nice meeting you, Kelsey.”

  Josie and Mel kissed each other on the cheek, and Josie walked out.

  “So, where were we?” Melisa turned back to Kelsey. “Oh, yes, how do you like our little town?”

  “Do you want me to be honest?”

  “I can’t stand dishonesty.”

  “Well, the first week wasn’t so bad. Shaun and his brother, Cole, took me on a tour a few days ago. There’s not much to see around here, but I liked what I saw. I’ve spent most of my time with his family, though, getting to know them.”

  “Rachel is great, isn’t she?”

  “She’s a sweetheart.” Kelsey paused. Melisa seemed like she’d want to know the truth about what had happened to her today. “I had a little uncomfortable moment before I came here. I was at the Shop ‘n’ Carry and they refused to serve me.”

  Melisa’s amber eyes widened. “Just like that brat, Lissy. I assume it’s because of Shaun. Well, you know what? The people who treat you that way are full of shit. They have nothing better to do than butt into other people’s business. To judge people they don’t even know.” Melisa paused. “I know how it feels. I was an outcast once. But that’s a long story.”

  Kelsey sighed. It seemed she’d come to the right place.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I don’t know if you heard the real story…but Shaun is not the cold-blooded murderer they think he is.” Kelsey immediately regretted her words. What if Melisa wasn’t completely on her side?

  To her relief, Melisa nodded. “We know that. But some small-town people love cooking up ridiculous stories and convincing themselves they’re true until they can no longer tell the difference between truth and bullshit.”

  Kelsey laughed in spite of the heat in her stomach, still lingering from her earlier fury. “What do you do, though? You can’t force anyone to believe anything.”

  “Just ignore them and they’ll swallow their own words eventually. They’ll move on to something more interesting.”

  “I’ll try.” Kelsey bit into her donut and swooned. “Wow, this is good. It’s the perfect blend of sweet and tart.”

  “I’m glad you like it. And Serendipity is a lovely place once you get to know it. There are some nice people around here.” Melisa’s eyes glinted. “How about you and Shaun come over for dinner this weekend? We’d love to have you. I’m sure Shaun and Heat will want to catch up.”

  Kelsey swallowed. “I think that’s a fantastic idea.”

  The door chimed and a man walked in with a motorbike helmet tucked under his arm. He walked over to them, grinning. He was handsome, and younger than he’d looked from a distance—early twenties, maybe.

  “Ben.” Melisa stood up. She kissed him on the cheek. “This is Kelsey O’Neil. Kelsey, meet my son, Ben.”

  “Nice to meet you, Kelsey.” He shook Kelsey’s hand and then turned to look around the room.

  “I can only imagine who you’re looking for. She’s not in today. She has the flu. Didn’t she tell you?”

  Ben’s brow furrowed and he shook his head. “No, I’ll go and see her. I’ll drop by her place.” He gave Melisa another peck on the cheek and practically ran out the door.

  Melissa smiled as she watched him leave. “Ben is in a fresh relationship with Josie’s niece, Nicole, who sometimes helps out here. She’s a sweet girl and they’re crazy about each other.”

  “That’s wonderful. I can’t believe you have a grown son. You don’t look… Sorry.” Me and my big mouth.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Melisa paused. “I had him while I was in high school. We’ve gone through a lot of hard times since then, but everything is all right now.”

  Kelsey nodded and sipped her tea.

  The door chimed again and three elderly women entered.

  “Looks like the day has just started.” Melisa stood up. “I better get to work. You stay and finish.”

  “I will. Thank you for the chat, Melisa. I’ll let Shaun know about dinner.”

  “No problem. I look forward to seeing you again. And chatting about your restaurant. I read about it online.” Melisa gave Kelsey a smile over her shoulder as she approached the elderly women, who were perusing the display case.

  Kelsey ate the rest of her donuts in silence, her thoughts drifting back to what had happened at the grocery store. Should she tell Shaun about it? He was already going through so much stress, and now he had Nora’s death to digest. She couldn’t have him worrying about her as well. She was here to make things easy for him, to remind him to breathe. Not to burden him. She’d sweep it all under the rug and pretend it never happened.

  Chapter Twelve

  As Kelsey strolled back to the house, she wondered how Shaun was really dealing with having half the town against him. It occurred to her just how brave he was for returning home at all.

  Rachel wasn’t at the house, so she went to the bedroom and called Maeve.

  “Having fun?” Maeve asked. “How hot are Shaun’s brothers?”

  Kelsey laughed and flopped back on the bed. “Let me just say you wouldn’t be disappointed. And his mother is so sweet.”

  “Maybe you should move there so I can have a reason to visit.”

  Kelsey bit her lip and didn’t respond.

  “Hang on a second,” Maeve said. “You’re not enjoying yourself, are you?”

  Kelsey closed her eyes. “I was until today. I went to a supermarket and they refused to serve me.” She swallowed hard. “They said they don’t serve murderers’ whores.”

  “They bloody what?” Maeve cracked up on the other end, laughing so hard Kelsey pulled the phone away from her ear. “You can’t be serious. I don’t bloody believe it.”

  Maeve’s laughter was infectious, and Kelsey found herself giggling. “Yeah. I guess they refuse to even consider that there might be another side to the story.”

  “I bet some of the women over there just want him for themselves. And then he brought you along, and now jealousy is eating them up.”

  “I don’t think so. He’s still pretty much an outcast here. They still believe he’s a killer.”

  “Bloody nutters,” Maeve scoffed. “Girl, be careful. Stay away from the claws.”

  “I intend to. It was so nice hearing your sweet voice, Maeve.”

  “My voice is a lot of things, but it’s not sweet. So don’t say that again.”

  “Just teasing. Say hello to your parents, and the rest.”

  “I will. When you get back you have to come and visit. You have Dreara to thank for so much.”

  “I do.” Kelsey smiled. “I really do. Talk to you soon.”

  Next, Kelsey called her father, and then she checked in with the manager at her restaurant. Everything was running smoothly without her. O’Neil’s was beginning to draw the elite crowd.

  After hanging up with the restaurant, Kelsey grabbed her laptop and settled back on the bed to respond to all her business-related emails—including a request for an interview from a culinary magazine. By the time she was done, sh
e was relaxed and happy. She had more to be grateful for than to be worried about. She had Shaun. She had her restaurant. She had her health. The rest would fall into place. This mess was nothing compared to what they had gone through already. Most importantly, Shaun loved her, even in a town filled with memories of his dead wife.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Shaun clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back against the brown leather sofa. He closed his eyes. “If I hadn’t killed Carmen, her mother will still be alive today. I started it all.”

  “You don’t know that for sure.” Garrett leaned back in his desk chair and loosened his tie. “Something else could still have happened after you got back to town. Seriously, don’t blame yourself for this. You’ve come a long way. Don’t go back there. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for Kelsey. That woman loves you. And you’re crazy about her. I still can’t believe you gave her your kidney, little bro.”

  Shaun grinned. “That was a no-brainer. When I heard she was sick, I realized how much I needed her in my life.”

  “Then don’t let her go. A good woman is hard to find.” Garrett leaned forward again. “So, how are you two going to make this long distance thing work?”

  “I have no fucking idea.” Shaun laughed. “But we’ll find a way.” He pushed himself off the couch. “Look, I have to get back to her. I don’t want Mom boring her with more stories of our childhood.”

  Garrett stood and glanced at his watch. “I was just about to kick you out of here anyway. My next patient should be waiting outside.”

  “Thanks for seeing me last minute.”

  “You can drop by any time. And don’t give them the power to chase you away.”

  Shaun slapped Garrett on the back and walked out the door, into the lobby that welcomed patients seeing any one of the four therapists in the building. He had just stepped through the rotating glass doors into the parking lot when his legs and feet went numb. He stopped moving.

  A man climbed out of a black Mercedes and began walking toward the entrance. His hair looked like it hadn’t been combed in months and he wore what had to be a week-old salt-and-pepper stubble on his chin and cheeks.