Another Generation

by Roberta Kagan

  RashadOne: Sure. Watch the top of your screen. I’ll send you my address in a private message.

  From then on, they talked on the computer in private messages. The following day, Abby looked through all the pictures she had of herself and picked one from Haley’s recent wedding. She’d worn a dress, which she almost never did, and she was smiling. Her long black hair was floating down her back in a cascade of curls. I can’t believe I am going to send a picture of myself to a stranger in New York. This is really crazy. But she still did it. She wrote him a quick note and put the picture and the letter into an envelope. Before she could change her mind, she drove by the post office and dropped the letter into the outgoing mailbox. Then she drove to work with her hands cold and trembling, gripping the steering wheel.

  That night when she talked to Rashad, Abby told him she’d sent the picture. He was glad. For some strange reason, she was nervous. What if he thinks I am unattractive? What if he disappears and never speaks to me again? What the hell? Why do I even care?

  It took four days for Rashad to receive the picture. She knew he had gotten the letter because that night he began his message like this.

  RashadOne: Wow! I can’t believe you are so beautiful and you are talking to me? I must be dreaming.

  Abby wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn’t believe how happy it made her to think that he thought she was beautiful.

  That night was the first time they spoke on the phone. It was strange at first to hear his voice. Abby hadn’t known what to expect. She knew so much about this man and yet she knew so little. His voice sent rays of excitement through her. It had been a long time since she’d felt this way. Rashad called Abby at the shop after closing and they talked until three in the morning. When Abby got home, Eidel was awake. Her eyes were filled with worry.

  “Where have you been?”

  “At work.”

  “Until three in the morning, Abby? I tried to call but there was no answer. You’re not in trouble, are you? Please talk to me,” Eidel said.

  “I’m sorry. I am not in trouble. I was working on something.” She hated lying but she didn’t want to tell Eidel anything about Rashad. After all, she didn’t even really know him.

  “But the phone rang and rang. You should have answered and at least told me that you were all right.”

  “The phone lines get messed up because of the computer sometimes.”

  “Abby, I know you are a grown woman. I certainly don’t want to intrude on your privacy but I was very worried about you.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. You’re right. I should have called you.”

  “Please tell me, Abby. If there is something wrong you need to talk to me. Are you involved in something and maybe you need help? I am here for you. I’ll help you. No matter what it is that is going on. Just talk to me, Abby.”

  “Mom, I am fine. I’m sorry for worrying you. There is nothing wrong. I am not involved in anything that you have to worry about.”

  “I just want you to know that I love you, Abby. You can turn to me . . . ”

  “Mom,” Abby said. Then she hesitated but finally, she added. “I am sort of seeing someone. He is a nice man.”

  “Oh,” Eidel said, her head cocked to one side. Then a smile came over her face. “I am glad to hear that. You can bring him home anytime. Just let me know, I’ll prepare a nice dinner.”

  “Not yet.” Abby smiled. “But I appreciate it. And I might take you up on it in the future.”

  From then on, Abby and Rashad no longer used the computer. Every night at nine thirty, Rashad called Abby at home. She made sure to be by the phone at the exact time of the call. Eidel seemed relieved that Abby was coming home from work at night again.

  That Sunday when Haley, Warren, and Julie came to Eidel’s house for their weekly family dinner, Abby told them all about Rashad.

  “You’ve never met him?” Haley said, a little taken aback. “You talked on the computer and the phone?”

  “I know it’s weird. But we click. I think it’s because I don’t feel pressured to push things too far too fast with him,” Abby said.

  “What do you know about him?” Warren asked.

  “He is from Egypt. He’s living in New York City. I’ve seen his picture. He has a sister. He loves pistachio nut ice cream. We both like indie films. I don’t know.”

  Haley gave Abby a strange look. “Ab, you don’t really know this guy.”

  “But the weird thing is, I do. In a strange way, I know him better than most of the guys I’ve gone on dates with.”

  “Does he have a decent job? I mean, he’s not asking for money from you is he?” Warren asked.

  “He has a great job. He earns plenty of money. Enough to live in a one-bedroom in a really nice building in New York. And, no, he has never asked me for a penny.”

  “Well, just go slow,” Warren said. “I don’t want to have to go to New York to kick some guy’s butt for hurting my little sister.”

  She smiled at him. Since Warren and Haley had gotten married, Warren had started calling Eidel “Mom” and treating Abby like she was his baby sister. Abby thought it was kind of cute.

  Haley’s baby bump was turning into a full-blown pregnant belly, which Warren was constantly rubbing. It was a mindless act of affection, but Abby noticed it. And she knew he was proud and excited about the new baby.

  Julie had grown into a precocious six-year-old. She was in kindergarten and was constantly chattering. Julie was either telling the family about school or how the baby was going to be her own baby, and how she was going to take care of it just like one of her dolls.

  CHAPTER SIXTY

  January 1999

  Some nights, Abby and Rashad were on the phone for so long that Abby hardly slept. But somehow, the conversation never lagged. It seemed there was always something to talk about.

  One night, Rashad and Abby were on the phone until one in the morning. She hated to say goodbye, but Abby reluctantly had to tell Rashad that she was exhausted. The shop opened for business at six a.m. Lately, Rhonda had been opening the shop and then leaving early. But, even so, Abby and Haley had to be there by seven a.m. for the morning rush. It seemed that lately, Haley was arriving at work already tired. She was unable to stand on her feet for long periods of time. Haley’s legs would swell if she didn’t sit down and put her feet up. Her hair was stringy and lackluster and her complexion had lost its glow. The ferocious appetite she had at the beginning of the pregnancy had disappeared and now she hardly felt like eating at all. Abby was worried. She would try to insist that Haley come in later in the morning but so far, Haley was there every day by seven.

  Rashad understood and they said goodnight. For a moment, Abby wondered how he ever got through a day of work after being up talking on the phone with her until late at night. But she was far too tired to spend much time thinking about anything. Abby turned over and was fast asleep in minutes.

  At four a.m. the phone rang.

  CHAPTER SIXTY ONE

  Abby was so tired that she didn’t hear the phone. She was asleep when Eidel came into her bedroom and gently shook her shoulder.

  “Abby, get up.”

  “What time is it, Mom?”

  “Four. Haley’s in the hospital. She might be losing the baby.”

  “What?”

  “Warren just called. He’s with her at Skokie Valley Hospital.”

  “Oh my God.” Abby shook the sleep out of her head. “Haley needs us. Let’s get dressed and go.”

  They found Warren in the surgical waiting room.

  “What happened?” Abby asked.

  “She started spotting. It was just a little at first but then she really started bleeding,” he said wringing his hands on the fabric of his T-shirt.

  “What did the doctor say?”

  “He said she lost the baby. He has to do a D & C to make sure that everything is okay with her.”

  “Oh God,” Eidel said. “Will she be all right?”

  Abby
saw her mother sway as if she might faint and Abby put her arm around Eidel.

  “The doc says she should be. But I am scared,” Warren said.

  “Where’s Julie?”

  “She’s with my mom. I called her and asked her to come to the house to watch Julie so we could go to the hospital. But I am going to have to leave and pick Julie up at eight a.m. My mother has to go into work. She’s been having problems at the grocery store where she works and she can’t aggravate her boss by asking for time off. She’s been telling me that she thinks her job is on the line.”

  “Let’s sit down and wait for the doctor,” Abby said. She knew Eidel was very anxious and she held her hand trying to offer her comfort and support. But silently, Abby was wishing she could call Rashad and talk to him. She was terrified of the idea that she might lose the sister she’d finally found after so many years of being estranged. It was strange for Abby to want to speak with a man in these circumstances. She’d never depended upon one for emotional support before yet, somehow, she thought that if she heard his voice she would feel better. “Warren, Mom, I am going to the pay phone to call Rhonda and tell her that Haley and I won’t be in first thing this morning. She’ll be okay to handle things at the shop.”

  Eidel nodded. “Abby . . . ”

  “Yes, Mom?”

  “Can you call Ida too? Can you ask her if she could please pick Julie up so Warren doesn’t have to leave?”

  “Of course.”

  Abby went to the pay phone and called Rhonda first. Rhonda was asleep when the phone rang; Abby could hear it in her voice. But as soon as Abby told her about Haley, she woke up. She assured Abby that she would take care of the shop the following day.

  “Call me and keep me updated on Haley,” Rhonda said, her voice filled with concern.

  “I will.”

  Abby called Ida. Sam answered. He, too, had been asleep. “Hello?”

  “Sam, it’s Abby. I need to talk to Ida.”

  “Hold on.”

  Ida came on the phone. “What is it, Abby? Is your mother okay?” Ida asked. If she were awakened from a deep sleep, one would never know it. And even though Abby could hear the fear in Ida’s voice, Ida was strong and in control as she always was.

  “Yes, she’s fine. It’s my sister. She lost the baby. We’re at Skokie Valley Hospital. The doctor is doing surgery on my sister, a D & C. My mother wanted me to ask you for a favor. Is it possible that you can go to Haley’s house and pick up Julie? Warren’s mother is there with her now but she has to go to work and Warren really needs to be here at the hospital.”

  “I’m getting dressed. I’ll go right over there. I’ll stay with Julie. Call me as soon as you hear anything.”

  Abby hung up. She didn’t have enough change to call New York but she needed to talk to Rashad. So she called collect. I wonder if he’ll accept the charges. I don’t know why, but I believe he will. He is probably going to think it’s strange that I’m calling collect and I feel strange about it. But at the same time, I somehow feel that he will understand. God, I hope he doesn’t disappoint me and turn out to be like all the other men I’ve known. Most guys don’t want to be around when things are bad. They only want the good times.

  She dialed zero for the operator and placed the call.

  The phone rang. Abby heard Rashad’s voice. “Hello?” He sounded like he was half asleep.

  “This is the operator calling. I have a collect call for anyone from Abby Levi. Will you accept the call?”

  “Abby? Yes, of course. Please . . . put her through.”

  “Hello?” she said.

  His voice was trembling. “Abby, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s my sister. She lost the baby.”

  “Oh, Abby, I am so very sorry,” Rashad said, and she could feel the sincerity of his words through the phone line.

  Hearing the tenderness in his voice brought her to tears.

  “I am scared, Rashad. I’m afraid something will happen to her. I can’t lose my sister.”

  There was a long moment of silence. “I don’t know how you’re going to take this. I know it’s rather odd that I would say this . . . but I want to come to Chicago to be with you,” Rashad said. “Only if you want me to come, of course.”

  “I do want you to come. I need a friend,” she said. What a terrible way to meet for the first time. She hesitated, then she said, “I need you, Rashad.”

  “I’ll get the first flight out of New York to Chicago. Do you want me to take a taxi to the hospital?”

  Abby thought about it for a moment. It would be very awkward to meet Rashad for the first time at the hospital, of all places, with her entire family surrounding her. “No. Call me when you get to Chicago and I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

  “Do you want me to fly into O’Hare?”

  “Yes, if you can.”

  “I’ll do my best to get a flight that lands at O’Hare.”

  “It’s January. It’s cold here.”

  “It’s cold in New York too. Cold doesn’t bother me. Don’t worry Ab, I’ll be there.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY TWO

  An hour and a half later, the doctor walked into the waiting room. Warren immediately stood up and rushed over to him. The rest of the family followed close behind.

  “Is she okay?” Warren asked the doctor.

  “She’s fine physically. But she’s a little depressed. It’s to be expected.”

  “Can we go in and see her?” Abby asked.

  “Yes, give us a few minutes. She is on her way up to her room. Once she’s settled you can go on up and visit her. She won’t be on the maternity floor. It’s too hard for girls who’ve miscarried to see the new mothers and babies so she is going to be on a general floor.”

  “How long will she have to be here?” Warren asked.

  “She can probably go home tomorrow as long as there are no complications.”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” Warren said. The doctor turned to leave but Warren called out, “Doc, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  Warren walked over to the doctor. He cleared his throat. His hands were trembling. “Now, before I ask, I want to say that It doesn’t matter if the answer is no. Because, no matter what, I love my wife. But can you tell me something? You see . . . she had a real hard time conceiving. I guess what I am asking is . . . can she have any more children?”

  “Yes. You’re both young. I don’t see any reason why not,” the doctor said. “Wait a few months before you try again. Give her body some time to heal.”

  Warren nodded. Then he went back to stand beside Eidel and Abby. “I think I should go in alone first,” he said. “Then after a few minutes, you two can come in.”

  “Okay with me,” Abby said. “Okay with you, Mom?”

  “Yes, you’re her husband. She’ll need you the most right now. We’ll wait outside the room until you come and get us, Warren,” Eidel said.

  When Abby walked into Haley’s hospital room, Haley’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. “Hi Hale,” she said, taking her sister’s hand.

  “The baby died,” Haley said, in a voice barely above a whisper.

  “I know. I know,” Abby squeezed her hand.

  “Mom, I lost my baby,” Haley said.

  Eidel went to the other side of the bed and touched Haley’s shoulder.

  Warren, Eidel, and Abby stayed with Haley until she said she was tired and needed to rest. Then they went home, planning to return later that evening.

  Eidel was very quiet as Abby drove home.

  “She’ll be okay, Mom.”

  “Oh, I know she will,” Eidel said. “I can’t help remembering that your father died in that hospital. Walking through those halls brings back such memories.”

  “Oh, Mommy. I am sorry for so many things,” Abby said, reaching across the seat to take Eidel’s hand. “I love you, Mom. I know how much you miss Dad. I miss him too.”

  “I’m glad to have you here with me, Abby. I’m
glad you’re my daughter. What a gift you are from God,” Eidel said.

  Abby lay on the sofa trying to rest but was unable to sleep all afternoon. She wished Rashad would call but she heard nothing from him. He’s probably not coming. After all, what am I really to him? A voice on the phone? Words on a computer screen? Have I made far too much of this whole thing between us? My sister needs me now. I can’t spend my time worrying about some guy, Abby thought, but the truth was she felt bad that she hadn’t heard from him. She wished that Rashad would, at the very least call, even if he was calling to tell her he couldn’t come to Chicago.

  Abby and Eidel returned to the hospital at seven that night. Warren had never left. An hour after Abby and Eidel went home, he took the elevator down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and then went right back up to Haley’s bedside. When he walked into her room, she was asleep so he sat there waiting in silence. He was there, waiting, when she awakened.

  “Hi, Hale. How are you feeling?” Abby asked.

  Haley shrugged her shoulders.

  “I know, honey,” Abby said.

  There wasn’t much to be said. They all sat with Haley with the television playing in the background to mask the silence.

  At eight-thirty, there was an overhead announcement. “Your attention, please. Visiting hours are now over . . . ”

  Those are the same words that came over the loudspeaker ten minutes before Dad died. Poor Mom, Abby thought.

  They all kissed Haley goodnight and headed home. Warren looked worried as they walked across the parking lot.

  “I wish they’d let me stay with her,” Warren said. “She needs me.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY THREE

  The phone rang at eleven that night. Abby’s heart was racing. It could be Rashad or something could have gone wrong with Haley. She jumped out of bed and grabbed the receiver before it rang a second time. She didn’t want it to wake her mother. But she was too late. Eidel was already awake and standing beside her.

  “Hello?”

  “Abby, it’s Rashad. I’m at O’Hare.”