The Day My Husband Left: An absolutely gripping and emotional page-turner

by Amy Miller

  ‘Shall we go back?’ said Heidi. ‘William, will you come back with us? Please? Looks like it’s going to pour.’

  ‘Come on,’ said Zoe. ‘We’re not that bad. Are we, Scarlet?’

  Heidi was grateful to Zoe. So grateful. But Scarlet was another story. She gave a slight shake of her head, which wasn’t a confirmation of anything, kicked at a pile of sand with her toe and didn’t say a word. A cold wind blew.

  Twenty-Seven

  Making coffee as fast as she possibly could with trembling hands, humming a tune as she worked, Heidi accidentally sloshed boiling water over her wrist.

  ‘Ouch!’ she said, briefly running her skin under the cold-water tap, before deciding a few blisters didn’t matter in the scheme of things. Getting the coffee into the living room at lightning speed was more important. The conversation she could half hear was stilted, and she desperately wanted to get in there to ease the situation. Hurriedly putting two cups of coffee onto a tray, she headed back into the living room, placing the tray down on the table, before handing a cup to William and taking one for herself.

  ‘Thank you,’ he said, before taking a sip.

  Zoe was holding up a photograph of Johnny taken years ago that she’d found in the photo box. She held it up near William’s face. Nobody could deny that William was his son – they were physically incredibly similar.

  ‘This is so weird,’ Zoe said. ‘Your eyes, they’re exactly – I mean exactly – like Dad’s. And your smile, with the dimple, it’s amazing.’

  William was quiet and pale, and perched on the edge of an armchair, his knee jogging up and down. He smiled at Zoe and murmured in agreement. ‘I guess so,’ he said.

  Detecting his discomfort, Heidi almost snapped at Zoe to put the photo down, but she knew that Zoe was doing her best.

  ‘So,’ she said to distract them both. ‘How is everyone getting along?’

  Her question was met with a moment of silence.

  ‘You’re certainly dropping plenty of bombshells today, Heidi,’ Rosalind said with a quick laugh. ‘It’s one hell of a family reunion.’

  Heidi cleared her throat, anxiety making her scalp prickle with pins and needles. She smiled quickly at Rosalind, who looked at her apologetically.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Just trying to break the ice.’

  ‘I suppose it’s hard to know where to start,’ said Zoe, still trying to help ease the situation. ‘Where did you grow up, William?’

  William sat stiffly in his chair and gave scant information about his childhood. He grew up in Exeter with his mum and dad, but then his dad died and his mum got together with another man, who had a son of his own. He studied photography, and after his mum died, he applied for his birth certificate and discovered that his birth parents were from Dorset – and that was when he moved here. He met Martha and they had a son, Freddy. He’d joined the adoption contact register and put a notice up on a reunion website, with his date of birth and his biological parents’ names and found that Johnny was searching for him.

  ‘And you worked as a photographer, didn’t you?’ said Heidi. ‘Johnny loved photography, didn’t he, girls? He was good at it too.’

  Scarlet chewed a fingernail and nodded. Zoe took out a few photographs from the box and laid them on the table, illustrating the point.

  ‘I’m new to the family too,’ said Tuesday. ‘It’s obviously a strange time for everyone. And today is the first day I’ve met my birth mother.’

  She turned to smile at Rosalind.

  ‘It’s been very good to meet you, Tuesday,’ Rosalind replied. ‘I’ve spent all these years worrying and trying to be tough about my past, when here you are, a lovely young woman who could almost be my sister.’

  Tuesday smiled. ‘Not so young,’ she said, with a smile. ‘I don’t know how much you know, William, but I was adopted when I was a baby and met Heidi a week ago. She’s been so welcoming. I’m staying at a hotel down the road for a while longer. What was it like for you, to meet Johnny?’

  Heidi felt grateful to Tuesday for trying to keep the conversation going, when the atmosphere was tense and Scarlet in particular was making it felt that she didn’t welcome him. Right now she was scrolling down her phone. Perhaps the fact that William was so physically similar to Johnny was unnerving her?

  ‘Great,’ he said. ‘Meeting Johnny was amazing. Mind-blowing. I’m gutted that I didn’t know him for longer.’

  Heidi felt guilty. If they’d confronted this earlier in their marriage, they could have had longer – years potentially – with William in their lives. Zoe, Heidi and Tuesday smiled at him in encouragement.

  ‘Do any of you play?’ William asked, nodding at the piano. Heidi pointed at Zoe, who hid her face behind a cushion. Peeping over the top of it, she rolled her eyes.

  ‘Dad was the virtuoso,’ she said. ‘I just play a little bit.’

  ‘A little bit!’ said Rosalind. ‘You’re just as good as your dad. I know you want to go into nursing, but you could just as easily be a pianist! You can do whatever you want. How I’d love to be young and free like you.’

  Zoe glanced at Heidi, who gave a small shake of her head. Now wasn’t the time for Zoe’s recent revelation to come under the spotlight. Rosalind was bound to have an opinion about Zoe’s news, so she would speak to her separately.

  ‘Do you play?’ Heidi asked William.

  ‘A little,’ he said. ‘We had a piano when I was growing up, but I’m self-taught. I didn’t have lessons. I can’t read music. I just play by ear.’

  ‘Let’s hear you then,’ said Scarlet, crossing her arms over her chest.

  ‘Oh no,’ said William, shying away from the offer.

  ‘Go on,’ said Scarlet, as if challenging him. ‘Show us your skills.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said, moving to the piano. He played a piece that Johnny had in his repertoire – ‘The Entertainer’. When William finished, he was blushing. He turned around and smiled warily.

  ‘Was I that bad?’ he said.

  ‘No, you were brilliant,’ said Heidi. ‘Johnny used to play that piece, that’s all. It’s just strange that you should choose to play it too.’

  ‘It’s not strange!’ said Scarlet. ‘For God’s sake, Mum, that’s one of the most played pieces on the piano. Don’t go adding meaning to everything.’

  William stood from the piano and moved to the window, where he looked out at the garden, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Heidi sensed he was restless, very possibly overwhelmed, but was desperate for him to relax. Desperate for him to like them all, to accept them into his life.

  ‘William,’ she said. ‘Why don’t I show you outside? The workshop was one of Johnny’s favourite places to be.’

  Leaving the living room, she felt Scarlet’s eyes burning into her back. She turned and smiled, hoping for positivity. Zoe nodded encouragingly and gave her the thumbs up, while Scarlet concentrated on a fingernail.

  In the workshop, Heidi smiled. This was Johnny’s favourite space and she knew he would have wanted William to see it. She glanced at the green pot on the shelf while William looked at the tools, the haberdashery cabinet stuffed with fabric, Annie’s ‘Barry’ chair and the kissing chair. She thought he liked it.

  ‘It’s cold in here, so feel free to borrow a coat,’ she said, pointing to Johnny’s jacket on the back of the door. ‘It’s one of Johnny’s.’

  ‘No, no. You’re alright thanks,’ he snapped.

  Heidi glanced up at him. ‘What is it? Have I said something wrong? Is it all too much?’

  He shook his head and sighed.

  ‘It’s all this comparison with Johnny,’ he said. ‘It makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m not him. I’m a totally separate person. None of you know me, and I don’t know you either. We’re strangers, virtually. This is all messing with my head.’

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Nobody means to make you feel uncomfortable.’

  ‘Scarlet doesn’t like me,’ he said. ‘I can tell you that for nothing.’<
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  Heidi felt a flash of anger. Scarlet could be so wonderfully open, charming and loving, but she seemed intent on making William’s visit difficult.

  ‘Give her time,’ Heidi said. ‘She’s a prickly person sometimes. Wary. She can be a little defensive, but it’s not personal. Come on – let me show you around here. Would you like to get involved? I could really do with some help. Nothing too much – sanding, varnishing, collection and delivery. If you helped out in here, you could stay for a week or so perhaps. I could pay you. You could have a break from your friend’s flat and…’

  Heidi let her sentence drift. She didn’t say and ‘stop drinking’ or ‘stop gambling’ though that’s what she thought.

  He stared at her as if she was completely crazy.

  ‘You don’t need to do this,’ he said. ‘It doesn’t feel right.’

  ‘Just until you’re back on your feet,’ she said hurriedly. ‘I’d do this for anyone.’

  He bristled and she regretted her words. ‘Not anyone. But what I mean is, I’d like you to stay. I’d love it. I think Johnny wanted this. He wanted us to get to know each other. And you’re in a difficult situation at the moment.’

  ‘Johnny may have wanted it, but what about you?’ he said.

  ‘Of course me,’ she said softly.

  ‘But…’ he said. ‘How will I get to Freddy? I don’t have a car. I sound pathetic. A man my age. I did have a car, but I had to sell it to pay off a debt. God, I hate myself.’

  He sat on a chair and put his hands in front of his face.

  ‘You’re not pathetic,’ said Heidi. ‘Don’t say that. You’ve just lost your way. I lost my way once.’

  ‘I so want to be a good dad to Freddy,’ he said. ‘If there’s one thing I want to do, it’s to be a good dad. But I’m failing.’

  Heidi’s heart broke. She wanted him to carry on talking, but he fell silent.

  ‘You can borrow my car,’ she said. ‘The Morris van. I hardly use it when I’m working. Otherwise, you can catch the bus. Please say you’ll stay a while. It would mean so much.’

  Heidi stopped short of begging him to let her help him.

  ‘I’m offering you an olive branch,’ she said. ‘That’s all. What do you say?’

  ‘Okay.’ He nodded, running his hand over an old-fashioned blanket box she was re-covering in William Morris fabric. ‘As long as I can do something to help.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said, trying to conceal her delight. ‘Now, let me show you something I’ve kept since you were born.’

  She opened the filing cabinet and rummaged to the bottom of the drawer, pulling out the cash tin. Unlocking it, she gently lifted out the dancing-clown trinket box and handed it to him.

  ‘Johnny gave this to me on my seventeenth birthday,’ she said. ‘The day you were born. I’ve kept the photos in it ever since. Open the drawer and you’ll see.’

  ‘So we share a birthday?’ he said, opening the drawer and looking at the photograph of her sitting on the rose chair with him in her arms. She nodded.

  ‘You look so young,’ he said.

  ‘I guess I was,’ she replied. ‘I just love this photo. Despite the circumstances, it was a special moment. I sat on that beautiful chair – the seat was embroidered with roses – and I held you for hours. I’ve looked for a similar chair ever since but never found one. I often wonder what became of it and who has it now. This little trinket box, it’s the one thing I had to keep you close to me. As well as my memories, of course.’

  William smiled sadly and looked towards the door, where Zoe was standing.

  ‘Mum, William,’ she said. ‘Tuesday’s opened a bottle of wine if you’d like a drink? And we’ve ordered an Indian takeaway – just a mix of dishes. We thought everyone would be getting hungry. I hope that’s okay with you?’

  Heidi held her breath. ‘Will you stay?’ she asked.

  ‘Yeah,’ William said, brightening and handing her back the trinket box and photo. ‘Thank you.’

  In the house, wine flowed and tongues loosened. William talked about the café – the customers who told him their life stories, the cake with the chef’s wedding ring inside. At one point, Heidi showed William up to the spare room, where he put down his bag, and she noticed he was swaying. She tried to give him water, but he laughed and said, ‘Water’s for animals,’ which Tuesday found very funny. But the more he drank, the less happy Heidi felt. By 8.30 p.m., he was drunk. He reached out for the wine and knocked a bowl of leftover lentil dhal to the floor, where it soaked into the rug.

  Leaping up from his seat, he staggered to the kitchen and grabbed a cloth. Heidi followed him and poured him a glass of water.

  ‘Don’t worry about the dhal,’ she said. ‘I think you’ve had enough to drink, don’t you?’

  He faced her, swaying a little and blinking slowly.

  ‘What?’ he said. ‘I’m not a kid.’

  ‘I know,’ she said. ‘But I’d say this to any guest I felt had drunk too much.’

  ‘Would you?’ he asked, frowning. ‘That’s a bit controlling, isn’t it?’

  ‘When Johnny had his first heart attack, it made me feel differently about alcohol,’ she said. ‘He had to cut down, so we all did. I’m not used to everyone drinking so much.’

  William blinked and swayed, then opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Tuesday’s voice calling from the living room.

  ‘I’ve found the horoscopes in my magazine,’ she yelled. ‘Who wants to know theirs?’

  ‘Me!’ called William, leaving Heidi alone in the kitchen. ‘I’d like to know what else life is going to hurl at me.’

  Slowly, she followed him back into the living room.

  ‘What’s your star sign?’ Tuesday asked William.

  ‘Cancer,’ he said. ‘Same as Heidi.’

  Tuesday scanned the magazine page and started to read.

  ‘Beware of new acquaintances,’ she said. ‘They may not turn out to be who you hoped they’d be and your heart might get—’

  Her face fell and she stopped talking. William glanced at Heidi, his eyes dark and shiny. Heidi busied herself collecting plates.

  ‘Oh,’ Tuesday said. ‘It’s all a load of rubbish. It’s all made up anyway.’

  Tuesday turned to Rosalind, who was yawning. ‘Rosalind, you’re almost asleep. Shall I get you a taxi? I’ll come with you to see your home. I’d love to see where you live.’

  Rosalind looked worn out. Tuesday stood up and, as she did so, the magazine slipped to the floor.

  Scarlet picked it up and finished off the horoscope: ‘They may not turn out to be who you hoped they’d be and your heart might get broken,’ she said.

  ‘Scarlet,’ said Heidi. ‘Put it down.’

  William’s demeanour completely changed. He flopped back into the Chesterfield, checked his phone, then excused himself and headed for the stairs.

  ‘Goodnight,’ Zoe called after him.

  ‘Goodnight,’ he called back gruffly. ‘Sorry, I… I’m tired. Thanks for the evening and everything.’

  After Rosalind and Tuesday left, Heidi had expected to be able to talk to Scarlet and Zoe, but Scarlet pulled on her trainers and stuffed her jumper into her rucksack.

  ‘Where are you going?’ asked Heidi. ‘It’s 9 p.m.’

  ‘Frankie’s coming to get me,’ she said. ‘I’m going back to Southampton.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Heidi. ‘Is that because of William staying the night? Don’t you like him? You don’t seem to like him.’

  ‘I don’t know him, Mum,’ Scarlet said. ‘I don’t know why he’s here. Why doesn’t he have his own place? He’s a grown man! And he got drunk, on our first-ever meeting. Would you do that?’

  ‘Sometimes people get into difficulty,’ Heidi explained. ‘Sometimes people need a hand to get back on their feet. I’m offering him that.’

  ‘He’s a total stranger and I don’t trust him,’ Scarlet said. ‘And I don’t think you should either.’

  Her phone b
eeped and she checked the screen.

  ‘Frankie’s outside,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’

  Heidi hugged Scarlet goodbye and watched her get into Frankie’s car. Closing the front door, she said goodnight to Zoe who was already half asleep, then headed upstairs. She could hear the sound of William’s voice coming through his door and hovered outside it, trying to listen. He was arguing with someone, his voice harsh and raised. Then came the sound of something – his phone? – being thrown to the floor.

  In the process of tiptoeing away, she stopped dead when she heard the muffled sound of him weeping. Her heart cracked open, but what was she to do?

  Twenty-Eight

  Heidi carried the stoneware pot of Johnny’s ashes into the garden. Sitting on a green-and-white-striped deckchair in a spot of sunshine, she rested the pot on her lap. She frowned, thinking of William.

  A week had passed since she’d invited him to stay, and mostly he kept to himself, spending a lot of time in his room or travelling to pick up Freddy from school. He had worked alongside herself and Max, where he was quiet and hesitant about the tasks he was given but hard-working. What bothered her the most was how he seemed continually distracted. She’d repeatedly said he could talk to her, if he needed to, tell her how he was feeling, but he remained buttoned up.

  ‘I wish he’d confide in me more,’ she told the ashes. ‘And, Johnny, there’s something bothering me. I don’t know what I’ve done with it, you know how forgetful I can be, but some money has gone missing.’

  She stopped speaking, fearing she might cry.

  ‘What did you say?’ said Max from behind her, making her jump. ‘Are you talking to yourself again, Heidi?’

  Heidi almost cricked her neck as she whipped round to face him. He was grinning, wiping his hands on a towel and dusting sawdust from his work apron.

  ‘Coffee?’ cried Tuesday from the back door, coming outside to join them. ‘Max, I’ve got you a vegan brownie to try. I’ll bring them out.’