Damaged and the Outlaw

by Bijou Hunter

  “You shouldn’t talk about my family,” she said, swimming to where I waited.

  “I care about your family. Other than Lark, my family is shit and I would waste them all to protect your family. I just know how people like those Devils view weakness. Once they smell it, they keep pushing.”

  “I like Vaughn too, you know. I don’t want him to die, but it’s not easy for Cooper.”

  “I wasn’t saying he was weak,” I whispered, my tone settling the anger in her eyes. “I’m saying if he gives an inch now that it’ll be more work for him later.”

  “I know. He knows that too.”

  “I’m sorry I upset you. Sometimes, I mouth off in a way that seems bitchier than I mean.”

  Bailey sighed. “They don’t tell me anything. They act like I’m not smart enough, but they tell Tucker and he’s way dumber than me. I should know stuff too.”

  “Maybe they don’t think you want to be part of the business.”

  “I’d help Coop, if he let me. I know he works hard. He still has to do the law school shit. I want him to be with Farah and be happy, but he pushes me aside like I’m dumb and weak.”

  “He’s just trying to protect you like you protect him.”

  Bailey smiled slightly. “I do protect him. I don’t like anyone messing with my family.”

  “You’re barely nineteen and they see you as a kid. One day, they’ll see you as a woman and give you more responsibility.”

  “I could handle it too. I would work hard for the family, if they let me.”

  “I know,” I said, swiping away the wet hair from her eyes. “One day, they’ll know too.”

  When Bailey smiled again, she seemed so young. “I don’t want Vaughn to die.”

  “He’s tough. So are Cooper and Judd. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  Bailey nodded. “Do you think he’ll be your boyfriend now?”

  “Vaughn isn’t interested in that shit and I can’t fall for anyone. Especially not him. I just needed to blow off steam and he’s great for that,” I said, smiling despite my worries over him. “I might have broken my abstinence plan when it came to fucking, but I’m still abstaining from falling in love with assholes.”

  “I hope I find someone nice one day,” Bailey muttered, glancing at the sunset. “I see everyone in love and I get jealous. I’ve never been in love before. It looks fun.”

  “It’s not,” I told her, grumpy now. “Love hurts and it kills a part of your heart when the relationship ends. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find what your parents have. Or maybe you’ll end up like me. A loser who embarrasses herself again and again. If I were you, I’d wait until you think it’s like your parents. Even if you have to wait for a long time.”

  Bailey studied me then caressed my cheek. “You’ll find someone good. Everyone has a perfect person for them. That’s what my mom said and she’s always right. We just need to find our perfect person then everything will work and we won’t be lonely.”

  “We’ll go on double dates and have playdates with our cute kids. It’ll be aces, baby.”

  A laughing Bailey swam backwards. “Do you want to hang out tonight?”

  “Sure. I had planned to bug Lark, but she might want alone time with her man.”

  “We’ll be annoying like that one day and people will mock us.”

  Following Bailey out of the pool, I doubted I could ever love a man who wouldn’t treat me like shit. Plenty of good men existed, but they didn’t interest me. Plenty of losers existed who I might swoon over. Yet, I didn’t want to give my kids a turd for a dad. Despite a great night with a bad man, I was going to end up using a honky-tonk sperm donor one day.

  “Can I come?” Sawyer asked, appearing from the yard.

  “We don’t know where we’re going.”

  “I don’t care. Tuck is bringing the baby over. It’ll cry and everyone will pay attention to it and ignore me.”

  “I know the feeling of being replaced,” Bailey said, smirking at her sister. “Little kids suck.”

  Sawyer rolled her eyes and looked at me. “Can I come?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “We could barhop and scope out hot guys.”

  I frowned at Bailey who shrugged. “I didn’t teach her that.”

  “A girls’ night out sounds great. We’ll clean up and meet in an hour. We can pick up my car before we come home.”

  After Sawyer high-fived me followed by her sister, she ran inside to announce in the loudest voice imaginable how she was ditching the baby stank for the night.

  A grumpy Bailey nudged me. “You better not ignore me and pay attention to her.”

  “I can pay attention to both of you. I had two little siblings, remember?”

  Bailey’s frown faded and she hugged me. “Your life makes me sad.”

  Hugging her back, I shrugged off her worry. Bailey wasn’t convinced though.

  “I wish I could hit you over the head and give you amnesia, so you’d forget all the bad stuff that happened to you.”

  “I like remembering who I am.”

  “What if I hit you just kinda hard and gave you a little bit of amnesia?” she suggested, grinning.

  “With my luck, I’d just remember the crap and forget the good stuff.”

  “What good stuff?”

  “Lark and Phoenix,” I said, walking away. “Oh and the fucking from last night was pretty memorable.”

  “Whore.”

  Giving her a wink, I disappeared down the path to the apartment. A night with the girls would distract from Vaughn. I wanted to smack him for the stupid text. I also wanted another night of sweaty fun. Smacking and sexing would have to wait. The Johansson sisters required all of my attention.

  Twenty minutes later, Bailey was shocked when Sawyer won Rock, Paper, Scissors then chose Chuck E Cheese as our hangout destination. Sawyer was shocked anyone wouldn’t want to go to Chuck E Cheese. I was just shocked the sisters hadn’t killed each other years ago.

  A deal was a deal, so we dropped by Chuck E Cheese. Even though I promised Bailey we would eat somewhere, she sulked like a bitchy child. I eventually said I was ignoring her unless she played nice.

  Grudgingly, oh so very grudgingly, Bailey chilled out. Arms crossed in irritation, she watched Sawyer and I play the Aliens game. Duckface present, she stood next to me and Sawyer while we rode the roller coaster simulator. By the time I was throwing basketballs, Bailey finally realized there was no harm in silly fun.

  When we were crawling around in the tubes with Sawyer, Bailey laughed before quickly looking around to make sure no one knew she was having fun. In that moment, I realized her biggest problem. Bailey lived her life through the eyes of others.

  Despite her big mouth and claims of awesome, she wasn’t her own person. Everything she did was to gain the approval of others, but people were impossible to please. I wished she understood how out of a hundred people, she would still have at least one hater. I realized this fact as a kid when one grandmother told me I looked like an angel before another grandmother told me I looked like trailer trash. There was no pleasing everyone, so life had to be about what I needed and how to please those I loved. Anyone beyond them was static.

  Telling Bailey any of this would feel like a lecture and she was in a good mood once she realized Chuck E Cheese was empty enough for her to enjoy. We bought a hundred tokens and played crappy games until they were all gone. Next, Sawyer danced with the Chuck E Cheese animatronic mouse while I took pictures. Soon, I joined her and shook my butt to the horrible music.

  When Bailey seemed unsure about joining us, I yanked her onto the kiddie dance floor. She smiled like I was the best brain she ever had and I agreed with her. If I was running things up in that pretty head, her life would be a hell of a lot easier.

  “I never took dance classes,” Bailey said, swaying her arms.

  “Neither did I,” Sawyer yelled, bouncing around. “I’m a natural.”

  Rolling my eyes, l laughed. “You’
re both dorks. It’s Chuck E Cheese. No one cares how you dance.”

  Bailey and Sawyer proceeded to display their lack of formal training by holding hands and jumping in place. I stepped back and allowed them a little sisterly bonding.

  Lark and I used to do goofy things together. I missed those easy times, but I’d left and she built a life without me. Despite my pride in what she created with Aaron, I longed for what I left behind. With those days gone, I could only follow my sister’s lead and build something better.

  Chapter Six - Vaughn

  Relieved to have company, I refused to run back to Raven. Nothing said a guy was hooked like spending two nights in a row with the same chick. No, I needed to keep my distance and play it cool. Problem was most days were boring as shit and my evenings were even duller. That was where Judd and Tawny came in.

  The dark haired couple walked into the restaurant connected at the hip in the way couples tended to enter any room. Judd’s arm was wrapped around Tawny’s shoulders and he walked slower so she could keep pace. Normally, the pretty girl who stole my buddy’s heart was bouncing or nearly humping him. Tawny always seemed in a state of happy since snaring her man. Tonight, her dark eyes looked depressed.

  “Something I said?” I asked as she sat across from me in the booth.

  “Fuck off,” Judd growled.

  Even grumpy, Tawny smiled at his growling. She thought the sound of it was hilarious.

  “What’s the deal? Are you that upset about having dinner with me?”

  Judd’s blue eyes glared at me and I knew he was really pissed. Like jump across the booth and cut my throat pissed. While he might kill me, I figured I’d make him work for it.

  “Therapy is hard,” Tawny said, staring at the menu in front of her. “Not everything is about you, Vaughn.”

  “Fair enough,” I said, backing off now that Tawny looked ready to cry.

  Judd stopped trying to murder me with his eyes and rested an arm on the back of the booth. He glanced at Tawny who seemed smaller than usual. When his gaze returned to me, I knew I was about to get mocked. I mentally prepared to give as well as I got.

  “The chick last night marked you,” he said, gesturing to my throat. “Might be a stalker. You’ll want to prepare to wake up with your balls removed.”

  “Raven might cut off my balls, but not because she’s a stalker. More like she’s just in a bad mood or gassy.”

  Tawny looked at me then shook her head. “Oh, Vaughn. You’re fucked.”

  “Actually, I was and quite well. In fact, I think she bruised my hip bones.”

  Laughing, Tawny cuddled against Judd. “When’s the wedding.”

  Once Judd started laughing, I flipped them off and looked at my menu.

  “We’re fuck buddies. Nothing more.”

  Judd nodded. “Makes sense. A man of your stupidity couldn’t handle a relationship. Best to keep your life simple.”

  “She’s hot. That’s all I care about.”

  “She is hot,” Tawny said, smiling easier now. “She could probably land a rich guy with those looks.”

  “Did you just call me poor?”

  “I only mean she could get someone better than a manwhore with commitment issues.”

  “Fuck you,” I said and Judd looked ready to hit me. “I could commit if I wanted to. If I wasn’t expecting to die soon, I’d commit all over the fucking place.”

  “You don’t even have a pet.”

  “Who would take care of my pet when I died?”

  “If it was a cat, we’d take it in.”

  Judd frowned. “No more cats.”

  “One more wouldn’t hurt. In fact, if we have a bunch of cats, people will stop asking when we’re having a kid.”

  Judd’s frown disappeared. “Another cat wouldn’t be the end of the world.”

  “Judd’s the one who can’t commit,” I muttered.

  “He’s married and we have two cats. We’re plenty committed. You’re the one getting hickeys from a girl who likely will marry someone else in a few months.”

  “Why a few months?”

  “I don’t know. I just feel like she’ll be married in a few months. A rich guy.”

  “Are you psychic now?”

  “Yes, I’m going to open a shop and tell people their fortunes.”

  Smiling, Judd kissed her forehead. “A businesswoman. That’s sexy.”

  “Don’t even think about ditching me again so you two can fuck. You can hump each other later.”

  “Oh, we will,” Tawny said, waving over the waitress. “I wonder who Raven is humping tonight?”

  “I don’t care,” I lied. “Sloppy seconds don’t bother me.”

  Judd grinned. “They must not bother Raven either if she fucked you.”

  “How quickly the male slut turns judgmental? You’ve been monogamous for less than a year, so save the lectures.”

  “Did I lecture him?” Judd asked Tawny who shook her head.

  The idiots were ganging up on me. Typical. I was tempted to find a woman and become a couple, just so I could tag team against them. Realizing this was stupid, I sighed.

  “I’d make a great husband and father. I have what it takes.”

  Judd and Tawny frowned in unison then focused on the waitress. After we ordered, Judd tucked Tawny against him and she got melancholy again.

  “So Farah’s knocked up, huh?” I said when they sat silently for too long. “I hope Cooper has a girl. Serves him right.”

  “Serves him right for what?”

  “I don’t know. I’m pissed because I could have sat and talked to myself without you two sitting there ignoring me. Plus, I wouldn’t be eating here and listening to losers on karaoke in the bar.”

  Judd exhaled hard. “I feel like you’re looking for sympathy or a hug. I’m not giving you either.”

  “I don’t feel sorry for you either,” Tawny said. “I can’t hug you anyway. Judd doesn’t like when I touch other men.”

  Grinning, I remembered how Judd reacted to Mac who Tawny touched once. No doubt if Mac ever needed saving, Judd would allow him to die. He was still pissed having anyone near his woman. My grin faded when I realized how much I wanted to find a woman and go stupid for her.

  “When this Devils’ thing is taken care of,” Tawny said after our steaks arrived, “what will you do? Like will you get a pet?”

  Judd and I looked at one another and neither thought I’d be alive to get a pet when the Devils’ thing was done. Tawny was bummed already though, so I played along.

  “I’ll get married and have a bunch of kids.”

  “A bunch?” Judd asked, smirking. “What’s that? Like six?”

  “Sure, why not? The world is an ugly place and I could make it better with my blond kids running around.”

  “Why do you assume they’ll be blond?” Tawny asked and I spotted a smirk on her face.

  “Because I’m blond. In my fantasy future, my kids will look like me.”

  “Or you’ll hook up with some random blonde chick. Makes sense,” Judd said, smirking at Tawny.

  Even rolling my eyes at their hinting, I had been thinking about Raven when I imagined those blond beauties running around Ellsberg. Our kids would be more beautiful than the sun and people would secretly hate us for having better kids than them.

  Made sense to me, but I wasn’t having any kids and I certainly wasn’t having them with Raven. Hell, forget the Devils shit. Raven hadn’t even texted me back and I knew she must be up by then. After all the hot sex and laughs I gave her, she was just blowing me off.

  “Why do you look like you’ll cry?” Tawny teased me and Judd smiled.

  “You two are annoying.”

  “I love Judd and he makes me happy.”

  Crap. I knew I might as well disappear at that point. Judd’s gaze locked onto Tawny’s and they shared a silent conversation. Normally, I would interrupt and remind them the world existed outside of their little love match. Tonight, Tawny looked tired and a little lost
. She needed something chitchat wouldn’t offer.

  The two of them said nothing for the rest of the meal. Not to me or each other. I knew Judd could go hours, hell days, without talking. I’d always done all of the talking while he brooded. Now, I had to brood too and I didn’t enjoy it half as much as Judd did.

  My boredom became so intense from their silence that I focused on the various awful karaoke renditions in the bar area. I couldn’t see who was singing, but I pictured them. A senior citizen serenading his woman to Kenny Rogers, rednecks remembering Skynard, and college girls pretending they had the pipes of Christina Aguilera. By the time Judd and Tawny bailed on me, someone decided to be the billionth loser to sing Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing.

  Figuring I might entertain myself with heckling, I walked to the bar. I never made it through the door. Instead, I leaned against the doorway, crossed my arms, and enjoyed the spectacle of Raven, Bailey, and Sawyer singing horribly along with Steve Perry.

  The three blondes sang their talentless hearts out with Sawyer on a stool in the middle. Bailey wasn’t singing as much as yelling to the music. Sawyer was talking the song. Raven though was really trying to sound good. Unfortunately, her sexy voice didn’t translate well into song.

  The few people in the bar clapped when the song ended. Mainly because Bailey and Raven were hot. Sawyer ran to the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender nodded and gave her a big glass of root beer. She winked at him and told Bailey to pay the man. The kid was going to rule the world one day.

  Raven walked over to me with a strange frown on her face. “I feel like I know you. Vaughn, was it?”

  Grinning, I leaned forward and whispered, “I could make you remember it the way I did last night.”

  “When I woke up alone, I assumed you needed space,” Raven said, pushing me away. “There. Enjoy it.”

  “Someone’s getting clingy.”

  Raven shared my smile then punched me in the arm. Hard too. I was impressed.

  “Fuck you, asshole,” she muttered, glancing at Bailey who looked irritated. When Raven looked back at me, her expression was pissed. I still thought she looked hot though. “You were the one talking about getting dinner together and fucking me to sleep tonight. You were clingy then you ditched me. Why talk about all that shit if you didn’t intend to stick around?”