Still Loving You

by Sheryl Lister

They spoke to a couple of players as they entered the dining room. “All I did was set the program. You put in all the work, and it shows.” The lineman’s large frame looked more defined, especially around his midsection.

  “You going to be around this afternoon?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I stop by? There’s something I want to show you.”

  Lauren mentally went through her schedule. She wanted to leave a little early, because she planned to cook dinner for her and Malcolm and she had to pick up a few ingredients. “What time are you free?”

  “I can make it between three and three thirty.”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

  He gave her arm an affectionate squeeze. “Thanks.”

  She smiled up at the gentle giant. “You’re welcome.” When he walked away, she turned and saw Malcolm watching with an unreadable expression. She waved, and he relaxed and smiled. Rather than approach him like she wanted, she reminded herself that she’d see him later and went to speak with Nigel.

  Lauren made it back to the office just as Chris showed up and spent the rest of the morning with several other players popping in. She had planned to eat outside, but an impromptu early-afternoon meeting with the coaches left her with fifteen minutes to wolf down her pasta with chicken and asparagus before heading down to one of the smaller conference rooms. When she’d first explained how she wanted to collaborate with them on each player’s needs and goals, they’d seemed excited by the idea and wasted no time implementing it. She wanted to build a program for the long haul.

  Darren came by as promised a little after three. He had a smile so bright, Lauren asked, “What are you so happy about? I mean, besides reclaiming your starting position.”

  Darren came and stood in front of her. “My girlfriend said I’m marriage material now and I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

  “Oh my goodness! That’s wonderful.” Without thinking, she reached up to hug him.

  He returned the hug. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done. Look.” He took out a small ring box. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

  Lauren brought her hands to her mouth. “Wow. It’s absolutely beautiful.” A row of smaller diamonds surrounded a round-cut solitaire that had to be at least two carats. “I know she’s going to love it. Congratulations.”

  “Well, isn’t this cozy?”

  She and Darren turned to see Malcolm standing in the doorway, his eyes cold.

  Darren divided a glance between them, then asked Lauren, “You and Gray?”

  She nodded tightly.

  “Thanks again, Lauren. I’ll let you two talk.” He beat a hasty exit.

  Malcolm didn’t waste any time. “So I guess you were looking for a bigger ring.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Don’t try to play me, Lauren. I know what I saw.”

  Lauren put a hand on her hip. Was he insinuating she had something going on with Darren? “Do you?”

  “The hug, the ring, the smiles, the way he was touching you in the dining room the other day... I just don’t know what to think.” He pivoted and started to walk out.

  She stormed across the room and got in his face. “Are you kidding me? You think that I could tell you I love you one day and be with another man the next?” She shook her head wearily. “After everything you’ve said, you still don’t trust me, do you?” She wasn’t going to bother explaining her conversation with Darren, because Malcolm should know better.

  “It’s kind of hard to when I walk in and see my woman hugging another man holding a ring in his hand. You’re going to tell me I’m wrong?”

  “No. I’m not going to tell you anything. You should know me.”

  He didn’t comment.

  Angry tears burned her eyes. “See, you won’t even deny it. This isn’t going to work, Malcolm.”

  “Then tell me I’m wrong,” he said through clenched teeth. He reached out for her, and she pushed him away.

  “I shouldn’t have to!” Lauren should have left well enough alone—friendship and nothing more—because it was now clear to her that he’d never let go of the past. “After everything we’ve been through, I can’t believe you’d think I’d turn around and cheat on you, especially with someone you work with. You need to leave my office.” She stepped around him and kept her back to him.

  “Lauren, I—”

  She turned and held up a hand. “Just go. I guess that makes us even now. I broke your heart, and now you’ve broken mine.”

  Something like regret flickered across Malcolm’s features, and he reached for her again.

  She shook her head, trying to keep the tears from falling.

  His jaw tightened, but he did as she asked.

  Once he was gone, she closed the door and let the tears flow. She didn’t have any other appointments, so she sent an email asking Mr. Green if she could leave early to take care of some things. He replied favorably, and she was packed and striding down the hall a moment later.

  “Lauren, are you okay?” Omar asked as she exited the building, gently taking hold of her arm.

  If she opened her mouth to say one thing, the floodgates would open, and she couldn’t do that here.

  “Malcolm?”

  Lauren nodded.

  He seemed to understand and gave her a reassuring hug. “It’ll all turn out okay. Just hang in there.”

  She really wanted to believe him, but her world had just gone to hell in a handbasket in a matter of seconds. She couldn’t see anything past the pain in her heart.

  * * *

  Malcolm paused in pacing the locker room when Omar entered wearing a deep scowl on his face. “What’s wrong? Is Morgan okay?”

  “What the hell did you do to Lauren? I just met her damn near running out of the building and crying.”

  His heart constricted. “I walked in on her and Darren in her office. He had his arms wrapped around her and a huge ring in his hand.”

  Omar shook his head. “You didn’t learn anything from my mistake with your sister, did you? I can guarantee that whatever you thought you saw wasn’t the truth.”

  Omar had jumped to conclusions when he thought Morgan had leaked her negotiating plans to the media. Had Malcolm done the same thing? He closed his eyes and tried to conjure up the scene in Lauren’s office, but the only image that he could see was Lauren in the arms of another man. After that, he’d lost all rational thought. “Why are you so sure?”

  “Because I saw her at Siobhan and Justin’s that night. She’s in love with you.” He hesitated, as if he were going to say more. “I promised Morgan I wouldn’t say anything, but because you chose to act a complete idiot, I’m going to tell you. And if you breathe one word of it, I will kick your ass. Though I should do it anyway.”

  “Tell me what?” Malcolm asked impatiently.

  “Lauren told Morgan that she loved you when they were in the kitchen.”

  “Why would she... Morgan doesn’t even like Lauren, so I can’t see Lauren her telling her the time of day.”

  “Morgan asked the same question. Lauren admitted it to Morgan because Morgan was the only one who believed she had ulterior motives where you were concerned. Basically, she wanted Morgan to know that she didn’t.”

  Malcolm slowly lowered himself to a bench and buried his head in his hands. “She accused me of still not being able to trust her completely, of not letting go of the past.” And of breaking her heart.

  “And have you?”

  “I don’t know... I thought I had.” What had he done?

  “If you don’t know, you’d better find out quick and decide whether you can live the rest of your life without her.” A couple of players came in from the showers and dressed, their gazes straying to Malcolm and Omar across the room. Omar sat and the two continued their conve
rsation quietly. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”

  Malcolm didn’t want to talk to anyone except Lauren, but he had a team meeting in five minutes that wouldn’t be over for the next two hours. He pushed to his feet.

  Omar went to his locker and retrieved a duffel bag.

  He frowned. “Where are you going?”

  “Coach is letting me leave early. I want to go home and check on Morgan. She had a few contractions last night and two today, and I’m worried about her.”

  Malcolm’s heart rate kicked up. “Call me if you end up taking her to the hospital.” Granted, Morgan was a married woman now, but Malcolm didn’t care. She would always be his baby sister, his twin.

  “I will.”

  Malcolm went one way and Omar the other. It took all of his concentration to remain focused on the running back coach’s voice. The only voice in his head was Lauren’s. He had been angry that she’d assumed the worst without giving him the benefit of the doubt eight years ago, and it had taken him less than two minutes to do the same thing to her. He didn’t have an excuse, aside from jealousy. From the first time Marcus had mentioned that a couple of guys were interested in Lauren, Malcolm had been scrutinizing every player’s interaction with her. The fact that he’d seen Darren with his hands on Lauren more than once sent his mind to a place it never should have gone. And he couldn’t very well ask her what her conversations with the players were about. Some players have personal health and diet issues that they would confide in Lauren about and it would be a breach of confidentiality on her part to discuss them with Malcolm.

  He pulled out his phone and sent her a text asking if he could still come by after practice.

  It took twenty minutes for her to reply with a one-word answer: No!

  His chest felt like a three-hundred-pound linebacker was standing on it and he could barely breathe. He started to send another text but changed his mind. Meanings easily got lost in transmission, so he needed to talk to face-to-face. But when? If he went to her office tomorrow, she would probably throw him out, and he didn’t want to risk someone hearing something and reporting it back to management. Saturday after the walk-through, he would only have a few hours before he had to report to the hotel. All players were required to stay at a hotel the night before a home game. Truth be told, he should probably delay the confrontation until after Sunday’s game. He would be expected to be in full game mode and couldn’t afford the slightest distraction.

  But he didn’t want to wait that long. His father’s words rang in his ears: A woman hangs in there for a long time deciding what to do, but once she decides to leave, she’s gone for good. Don’t ever let her get to that point if you love her. His heart almost stopped. He couldn’t take the chance that Lauren might close the door on them forever. That he wouldn’t be able to handle.

  Chapter 19

  Sunday morning, Lauren checked in with the staff at the stadium to make sure the pregame, halftime and postgame meals, as well as refueling snacks, were prepped and ready to go. There was a bevy of activity in the locker room as the players took advantage of the spread Nigel and his team had laid out. The variety of fish and lean meats, brown rice, pasta, and vegetables would be instrumental in keeping their energy up. There were also sports drinks, pretzels, bananas and the like for halftime and throughout the game. She wished the players good luck and made her way through the crowd.

  Lauren spotted Malcolm on the far side of the room. After the text he’d sent her on Thursday, they’d had no contact. He followed her movements but made no attempt to approach, which suited her fine. She was angry and hurt but would never do anything to interfere with his ability to focus. Doing so could get him injured, and despite everything, that would break her heart further.

  Omar came to where she stood. “How are you holding up, Lauren?” he asked quietly.

  She tried to put up a good front, but it was useless.

  “Well, the good news is Malcolm is just as broken up.”

  She didn’t know how that qualified for good news. “Oh?”

  “Yep. Gotta go.”

  Lauren hazarded a glance Malcolm’s way and found him still watching her with an intensity that heated her insides. Cursing her body’s reaction, she spun around and left.

  “Hey, Lauren. Wait up.”

  Her steps slowed as Darren jogged to meet her. “Hey, Darren. Ready for your big game?”

  “You’d better believe it. I just wanted to let you know my girl said yes. We’re getting married.”

  “Congratulations,” she said sincerely. “I wish you two all the happiness in the world.”

  “Thanks. Are you and Malcolm okay?”

  They were nowhere near fine, but she waved him off. “Everything’s fine. You just focus on winning this game,” she added with a little laugh.

  Darren nodded. Someone called his name. He held up a hand, signaling him to wait, then told Lauren, “See you around.”

  Lauren gave him a wave and continued to her seat. It was the longest three hours of her life. The only thing that kept her from going completely insane was the fact that she had to monitor the players’ hydration and energy levels throughout the game. The Cobras easily defeated their opponent, but on more than one occasion, she found herself ensnared in those piercing light brown eyes. How Malcolm spotted her in a crowd of seventy thousand people, she would never know. Not wanting to get caught in the mass of people at the end, she opted to leave with five minutes left on the clock. She’d already made sure the postgame shakes were ready, and they would be served by Nigel’s staff.

  Back in the safety of her home, she curled up on the sofa and cradled a small pillow in her arms. This was so much harder than last time. The love she’d had for Malcolm in college in no way compared to the deep grown-up emotions she experienced now. She’d held off telling her parents and calling Valencia, because she didn’t want to tell them she’d failed again. But she needed to talk to someone.

  As if on cue, her doorbell rang, and she froze. Please don’t let it be Malcolm. She slowly made her way to the door and checked the peephole. Lauren frowned. What was Siobhan doing here and how had she gotten Lauren’s address? She opened the door and found not only Siobhan, but also Faith and Lexia standing there with wide smiles. “Um...hi.”

  “Hey, Lauren. We heard my brother made an ass of himself, so we came to check on you,” Siobhan said bluntly.

  Faith held up a bottle. “We brought wine.”

  “And food,” Lexia said, producing a medium-size gift bag.

  Smiling for the first time in three days, she moved back and waved them in. “How did you find out where I live?”

  Siobhan dropped down onto the sofa. “I have my ways.”

  Lexia laughed. “Honey, this woman can talk her way into anything. You don’t even realize you’ve given up information until she’s gone.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.” Faith lifted her hand, and she and Lexia did a high five.

  Siobhan rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

  “Well, since you all went to the trouble to bring food and wine, we might as well dig in.” The women followed Lauren into the kitchen. She filled glasses with the wine while Lexia laid out shrimp tacos with a cilantro cream sauce on homemade corn tortillas. “Lexia, you made the tortillas?”

  “Yes. They taste so much better.”

  “And that sauce is to die for.” Siobhan placed three tacos on her plate and spooned on a generous helping of the sauce. “Girl, I’m so glad you added this to the menu at the café.” She turned to Lauren. “In case you don’t already know, Lexia owns the café on the first floor of the building where our company is located. Before she took over, the only thing safe to have in that place was the coffee...maybe.”

  They all burst out laughing and took their food into the living room.

  “So, what did Malcolm do?” Fai
th asked.

  Lauren took a sip of her wine and then told them about what he’d walked in on. “The guy was thanking me for helping him with his weight-loss goals, which is my job, and showing me the ring he planned to give his girlfriend.”

  “Did you tell him that?” Lexia asked around a mouth full of food.

  “No, because I shouldn’t have had to. We had just spent the entire night together, and for him to think I’d turn around and do something like that...” She released a deep sigh. She noticed they were all staring at her. “What?”

  “He spent the night here? During football season?” Siobhan had a stunned look on her face.

  “Um...yeah.” To Lauren’s surprise, Siobhan burst out laughing. “What?”

  “Girl, he’ll be back. That boy has never, and I mean never, spent a night with a woman during the season. Most times he ends up breaking up with whoever he’s dating before the preseason is over because he claims the woman is too clingy and he needs to keep his head clear.”

  “I found that all the Gray brothers are alike, Lauren,” Lexia said. “They may mess up, but they’re fiercely loyal to those they love and will make it up in the end. Khalil swore that he would remain a bachelor forever, too.” She smiled knowingly. “You see how that turned out.”

  Faith chuckled. “And Brandon is worse. My baby has a bad habit of sticking his foot in his mouth, but I love him. And he’s doing much better keeping both feet on the ground. Just like his brothers, all Malcolm needs is a good woman, and he’s found that in you.”

  Siobhan undoubtedly knew her brother well, and Faith and Lexia seemed to believe he’d come around, but Lauren wasn’t so sure. Not when he couldn’t get past his trust issues. Her heart clenched with the thought of not laughing with him, playing their special card game or indulging in a kissgasm. But she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life on eggshells with him every time something came up, wondering if he saw her talking to another of his teammates, or some other athlete if she decided to branch out. No, the best thing would be for them to end it now.

  * * *

  Malcolm had no desire to stand through the postgame interviews on the field, in the locker room and at the podium, but he stood there and answered question after question almost by rote.