Still Loving You

by Sheryl Lister

  Just when he thought it was over, he heard a reporter call out, “One last question.”

  He zeroed in on the familiar face of a man who wrote for a local newspaper.

  “Rumor has it that you’re dating the team’s new dietitian. Can you confirm that?”

  “Mr. Duvall, the only thing I can tell you about Lauren Emerson is that she is a team player and she brings a wealth of knowledge and experience that has already transformed our dining room. You saw our performance on the field today. We eat to win.” With nothing else to say, he stepped down, and the quarterback took his place.

  Malcolm kept going until he reached his car. For the first time in his life, he needed to get away from the football field. When he saw Lauren in the locker room earlier, he’d had a hard time not rushing across the room, hauling her into his arms and kissing her until they both reached a kissgasm, as she’d termed it. But the hurt reflected in her eyes had rooted him to the spot and nearly torn him apart. It didn’t help that he’d heard murmurings in the locker room about Darren proposing to his longtime girlfriend, making him feel even worse.

  He had no idea how to go about apologizing and asking for her forgiveness, but he had to find a way. Omar had asked him whether he could live the rest of his life without Lauren, and the answer was a resounding no.

  It was after five when Malcolm pulled into his driveway. His cell buzzed. He put the car in Park and dug the phone out of his pocket to read the text from Omar.

  Need ur help. Morgan in labor. Won’t go to hospital until she finishes Madden.

  He replied: On my way.

  Malcolm parked the car in the garage and hopped on his motorcycle. It would be easier to maneuver through the traffic and keep him from losing his mind with worry. That, as well as taking the surface streets, turned out to be a smart move, and he made it to his sister’s home in less than twenty minutes. He’d barely stopped the bike and turned it off before he jumped off and rushed up the walk.

  Omar answered the door less than ten seconds after Malcolm took his finger off the button. “Thank God,” he muttered. “Please come talk to your sister. I’m about to pull my hair out.”

  Morgan yelled from the back of the house, “Hurry up so you don’t mess up my game.”

  Malcolm shook his head and followed Omar inside. Morgan was seated on the edge of the sofa, her fingers moving deftly on the controller and eyes focusing on the large screen. “Hey, sis.”

  Her gaze left the game briefly to glower at Omar. “I’m still not going until we finish this game. And don’t even think about trying to let me win. If you do, we’re playing again.” She groaned and sucked in a sharp breath as another pain hit.

  “Baby, we can play as many games as you want when you get home,” Omar pleaded. “Please, let’s go to the hospital.”

  “Not until the game is over,” she said through clenched teeth, breathing harshly.

  Malcolm turned to Omar. “How far apart are the contractions?”

  “About seven minutes.”

  Malcolm noticed that they were playing at the all-Madden level—the top and most difficult level, where the player could control all aspects of the game. He’d taught his twin how to play the game and was probably the only one who could still beat her most times. He hunkered down next to her. “Morgan, I need you to listen to Omar. Neither one of us knows anything about delivering a baby, and I’m not having my nephew born on the floor.” He predicted the baby would be a boy.

  “We could be almost done by now if the two of you would stop talking and play the game.”

  He gestured for Omar’s controller. “You mind if I take Omar’s place?”

  She snorted. “No. You’re still not going to beat me.”

  He laughed. “Girl, I can beat you with my eyes closed.” They still had two minutes left in the third quarter and the five-minute fourth quarter to finish. “I tell you what, if I can score two touchdowns in the next two minutes, you go to the hospital.”

  Morgan paused the game. “And if not?”

  “Then we finish it.”

  “You’re on.”

  Malcolm took a moment to sub out two players then directed his full attention to the television. Within forty seconds, he’d scored a touchdown.

  “Lucky,” she mumbled.

  He just smiled. Her team made it down the field to the twenty-yard line. When her quarterback took the snap, his defensive end was on him before the quarterback’s arm went forward, stripping the ball. Another one of his players picked up the ball and ran it in for a touchdown. Malcolm tossed his controller on the sofa. “Let’s go.”

  They got her into the car, and Omar gave Malcolm a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

  “I’m right behind you.” He donned his helmet, started up his bike and pulled out behind Omar’s silver BMW. He worried the entire drive, especially when he saw Morgan slump over on the seat through the window. They couldn’t get to the hospital fast enough for him. When they arrived, Omar stopped in the circular driveway in front of the emergency room entrance, hopped out and went around to Morgan’s side. “I’ll park it. Just get her in.”

  Omar tossed Malcolm his keys. “Thanks.”

  Malcolm watched Omar ease Morgan out of the car and slowly lead her toward the entrance. After finding a nearby spot for his bike, he came back, moved Omar’s car and nearly sprinted back to the entrance. Inside, his steps quickened down the hallway. He entered the room just as Morgan was being lowered into a wheelchair. He hurried over. It killed him to see her in pain, and as much as he wanted to go back with her, that responsibility belonged to Omar now. It must have shown on his face, because Omar asked if he wanted to accompany them. “No. Just keep me posted. Do you want me to call the family?”

  “Please. My parents are probably at the restaurant.” They owned a family-style restaurant named after Omar’s mother in Buena Park.

  He had his phone out and was already dialing. He started with his parents, then called the restaurant and spoke to Omar’s mother. Next, he sent a mass text to his siblings. He figured they’d all be descending on the hospital within the hour. Malcolm found a seat in the corner and rested his head against the wall. His heart still beat at an erratic pace, and he regretted not taking Omar up on his offer. He checked his watch again for fifth time. He resumed his position and prayed it didn’t take too long.

  After what seemed like an hour, he checked the time. Only thirty minutes had gone by. Malcolm didn’t realize he’d been drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair until he met the frown of a woman sitting opposite him.

  Malcolm clasped his hands together and drew in a deep breath in an effort to calm his nerves. If he reacted this way with his sister, he’d be a basket case when it came to his own wife and child. His own. Immediately, his thoughts shifted to Lauren. He missed his sunshine. And that’s what she’d always been to him, lighting the dark areas of his heart with her love. He’d give up everything to be able to hold her in his arms again.

  “Malcolm.” His mother hurried over to where he sat, and he came to his feet. “Any word?”

  He hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Not yet. They’ve only been back there about forty-five minutes. Hey, Dad.” They embraced.

  “How are you holding up?”

  Malcolm’s entire family knew how close he and Morgan were, and it didn’t surprise him that his dad had asked the question. “I’d like to say I’m okay, but my stomach is in knots.”

  His father chuckled. “Wait until it’s your turn.”

  The knot in his stomach tightened.

  His mother studied him. She reached up and palmed his face. “Things aren’t well with you and Lauren, sweetheart?” she asked knowingly.

  He covered her hand with his own. “No. I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it,” he confessed.

  She smiled gently. “I’m sure it’ll come to you wh
en you let go of all your past hurts.”

  Malcolm just shook his head. He never understood how mothers always knew everything. But she had a point. He had to let go. He just needed to figure out how.

  Minutes later, Omar’s parents, Brandon and Faith, Khalil and Lexia, and Siobhan entered. The grandparents huddled together while Malcolm’s siblings surrounded him.

  After a round of greetings, Siobhan asked, “How did you get here so fast? You had a game today.”

  “Omar texted me right when I got home because Morgan wouldn’t let him take her to the hospital until they finished their Madden game.” He relayed how they’d been able to get Morgan out of the house. His brothers laughed.

  “That girl,” Siobhan huffed.

  Everyone found seats, and conversation flowed intermixed with periods of silence. Three hours passed with no word, and Malcolm could feel his control slipping. He had to know how Morgan was doing. He jumped up and began pacing, then sat back down. His mother told him to relax because babies came on their own timetable. He tried, but his anxiety levels climbed as the hours passed.

  At 2:30 a.m., Omar burst into the waiting room with a wide grin, and they all rushed over, clamoring for information. He held up a hand and waited until they quieted. “We have a healthy seven-pound, two-ounce baby boy. Mom and baby are doing fine.”

  Malcolm breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Can we see them?” Omar’s mother asked.

  “She’s asking to see Malcolm first, then we can visit a couple at a time.”

  Malcolm’s family wasn’t surprised by the request, knowing the bond between the twins. He could hardly contain himself as rushed down the hall. He stuck his head in the door of her room. “Hey, little mama.”

  Morgan rolled her head in his direction and smiled tiredly. “Hey. Come see your nephew.”

  He took slow steps to her side and stared in awe at the tiny baby snuggled in her arms. She lifted her son and Malcolm carefully cradled him in his arms. A rush of emotions engulfed him. “He’s a handsome little dude. Looks just like his uncle Malcolm.”

  She laughed softly. “Mmm-hmm.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “We’re naming him after Omar.”

  He wondered how it would feel to have a son who carried his name.

  “Omar told me how you messed up with Lauren. Fix it, Malcolm. She loves you.”

  He stared into the eyes that were mirrors of his own. Even after several hours of labor and delivering a baby, she was still worried about him. “I’m not sure how.”

  Morgan gave him another small smile. “It’s easy. Tell her what’s in your heart. Don’t be afraid, big brother. It’s worth it.”

  “I love you, sis.” Malcolm bent and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, his emotions rising.

  “I know. Now give me my baby and get out of here. You need to get some sleep so you figure out how to get my new sister to the altar.”

  He chuckled and handed the baby back. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and closed her eyes. He quietly tiptoed out. He still didn’t know how to fix the mess that was now his life, but he’d figure it out. Or die trying.

  Chapter 20

  It took Malcolm three days to get the courage to approach Lauren. Though he preferred to talk to her away from the practice facility, he guessed his best chance of her not sending him packing or not even bothering to open the door would be to start the conversation at work. He ate a quick lunch then sought her out.

  Her office door was open, but she wasn’t there. Sighing with frustration, he walked over to her desk to leave a note. He stared out the window for a moment, contemplating what to write. Then he saw her. She was sitting on one of the benches near the walking trail. He remembered her telling him how much she enjoyed the peacefulness of the area. For a moment, Malcolm observed her. The love he felt for her filled his heart and nearly overwhelmed him. When she’d wanted to keep them a secret and he hadn’t, she’d risked her career to show him her love. She had been acknowledging her mistakes and trying to rebuild the trust between them little by little since the first day he’d seen her. Another wave of guilt assailed him. Steeling himself, he pivoted and strode out. It was now or never.

  Outside, Malcolm slowly approached. The late summer temperatures were still near ninety, but the tree-lined trail provided some shade and relief from the heat. The closer he came, the faster his heart beat. When Lauren noticed him, she stopped eating whatever she had in the bowl and waited. He fully expected her to bolt, but she held his gaze fearlessly. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  He gestured to the bench. “May I?”

  Lauren hesitated briefly before saying, “Sure.”

  He lowered himself next to her but said nothing for the first few minutes, taking time to savor her nearness. Malcolm leaned forward, braced his forearms on his thighs and clasped his hands. “You were right.”

  “About?”

  “Me still holding on to the past. I honestly thought I’d let go, but seeing Darren touching you in the dining hall and then the hug and ring...it made me lose my mind for a minute. Jealousy, plain and simple. It’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth.”

  He glanced over his shoulder and found her watching him intently. He straightened. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Lauren. For not trusting you.” Malcolm shifted to face her. He turned her face toward his, and the tears standing in her eyes caused his heart rate to speed up. “I love you, Lauren. I always have, and I trust you with my life, baby.” He wiped the tear coursing down her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Can we talk tonight? I need you in my life, and you’ll never have a reason to doubt me if you give me another chance.”

  He opened her hand and placed the familiar ring box in the center. “I promise. Text me and let me know if it’s okay for me to come over tonight.” Malcolm leaned over and kissed her, and the sweetness poured into his soul. Rising, he went back the way he’d come.

  He slipped into a seat in the conference room as the lights dimmed and the film started. An hour later, the lights came back on and the coaches spent the next while discussing what had gone well, what could have been done better and what changes would be implemented for the upcoming game.

  On the way out, Malcolm called out to Darren and asked him to wait a moment. It was something he should have done before now, but pride had stopped him.

  “What’s up, man?” Darren asked when Malcolm reached him.

  “First I want to congratulate you on your engagement. I wish you all the best.”

  The younger man smiled. “I appreciate that.”

  “And I want to apologize for my behavior last week in Lauren’s office.”

  He waved him off. “It’s all good. I didn’t know you and Lauren were tight like that. Are y’all all right?”

  Malcolm wished he could say yes, but it had been two and a half hours and she had yet to text him. “I don’t know.”

  Darren clapped him on the shoulder. “It will be. Just wait. Lauren is good people and so are you.” He extended his hand.

  Malcolm smiled and shook the proffered hand. “And so are you. Thanks, man.” He watched Darren saunter off, feeling a load being lifted off his shoulders. He left to go to the running back meeting. Now, if only things could go as smoothly with Lauren.

  * * *

  Lauren clutched the box in her hand, afraid to open it. It couldn’t be. Yet when she lifted the lid, it was the same promise ring he’d given her in college. And the same one she’d tossed back. That he’d kept it all these years surprised her. She’d thought for sure he would have returned it for a refund, but he hadn’t. She held it against her heart, closed her eyes and let the tears fall. She loved him and had been miserable without him the past week.

  Her eyes snapped open. I love you, Lauren. I always have... His words came back to her in a rush. He’d never stoppe
d loving her, even when she’d stopped believing in them. The ring was proof of that.

  Lauren wiped her face, packed up the remains of her lunch and went back to her office, taking a side trip to the bathroom to check her appearance. For the balance of the afternoon, she read articles on the newest health and fitness developments that might benefit the players, but her thoughts were never far from Malcolm. After having to read the same paragraph three times, she set the iPad on her desk and rotated her chair toward the window.

  Malcolm’s confession played over in her mind, as did her Sunday afternoon conversation with Siobhan, Faith and Lexia. Aside from Valencia—whom Lauren had finally talked to and who had encouraged her to listen to Malcolm if he attempted to talk to her—she didn’t have any other close girlfriends. And she could see herself becoming good friends with them. She opened the side drawer on her desk and took out the ring box. Opening it, she ran her hand over the small solitaire sitting atop a thin white gold band.

  “I know it’s not very big, but it’s my promise to you. When I get my first NFL check, I’ll replace it with a real engagement ring.”

  “It’s beautiful, Malcolm, and I don’t care about the size. Just you.”

  Malcolm kissed her passionately. “I promise to love you forever.”

  “And I’ll love you forever.”

  And she would. Lauren picked up her phone to text him but changed her mind. She had a better idea. She packed up and went to wait for him.

  When Malcolm saw her leaning against his bike, his steps slowed.

  “I thought I could say it better than a text.”

  The corner of his mouth kicked up in a smile. “And what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I want you to follow me home.” Before she could blink, he banded an arm around her waist, lifted her off her feet and slanted his mouth over hers. The kiss was one they both had been seeking—healing, restoration and renewed commitment. “Does that mean you’re coming?”