What's the Matter with Newton?

by Mark Young

  “Well, I hope you like it here better than I do,” Higgy said. “I mean, most kids are thrilled to be here, but they came here by choice. Mum and Dad sent me here after some rather unfortunate disciplinary issues I had at home. They thought I’d fit in better at a place like this.”

  “So why don’t you like it?” Newton asked.

  “Everyone here thinks they’re some kind of genius,” Higgy replied. “Yet they’re not open-minded enough to befriend someone who’s a little different. I’m made of protoplasm, you see.”

  “You mean that green stuff?” Newton asked.

  Higgy nodded. “From head to toe! My whole body is a gelatinous mass of green goo. These garments seem to make it easier for typical-looking people to accept me. And of course, they also help to hold me together.”

  Newton nodded. “I can see that.”

  “The truth is, I’m afraid I don’t behave very well when people have a bad attitude about my appearance,” Higgy went on.

  “You don’t?” Newton asked.

  “What’s the matter?” Higgy challenged. “Are you going to have a problem with a roommate made of goo?”

  “No, that’s not it at all!” Newton said. “It’s just . . . I’m not exactly a normal kid either, so I wonder if I’ll have the same problem.”

  Curious, Higgy moved closer and sat on the edge of the bottom bunk. “You look normal enough.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not really sure what I’m doing here,” Newton replied.

  Higgy leaned back on his bed. “You and me both, Newton,” he said. “I mean, I know Mum and Dad were upset when I got in trouble sometimes, but I never thought they’d send me away. I really miss them. But I especially miss my little brother, Wellington. He’s still with them in England.”

  Newton clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back. “At least you have a family,” he admitted. “I woke up in the library a few hours ago and have no idea who I am or where I came from. So I might have a family out there somewhere, and they might be worr—”

  Click!

  Zzzzzzzzzzz!

  Newton stopped. What was that clicking sound? And is that snoring? Did Higgy fall asleep?

  “Higgy?” he asked, and he jumped down from the bunk.

  Blop!

  Newton’s feet landed in a huge pile of green goo. It squished between his toes and looked just like—

  “Oh no!” Newton cried. “Higgy! Are you all right?”

  When there was no answer, Newton reached down and touched the goo. It didn’t feel quite as slimy as when he’d shaken Higgy’s tendril, and it smelled kind of sweet.

  Zzzzzzzzzz . . .

  The snoring was coming from the bottom bunk, but Higgy wasn’t there. Instead, Newton found a small device—smaller than the school-issued tablet—with a recorded snoring sound coming from it.

  Zzzzzzzzzz . . .

  He suddenly understood that Higgy must be playing a trick on him—pranking him—and that the goo on the floor must be fake goo. That was a relief! But where was the real Higgy?

  That’s when he noticed that some of the mounds of dirty clothes in front of the bed had been pushed aside. He got down on his knees, peered under the bottom bunk, and saw that a path had been cleared between the piles of stuff.

  Newton snaked under the bed. It was dark, and at first he couldn’t see much of anything. Then suddenly his eyes adjusted and he could see very clearly that the path led to a small, wide trapdoor!

  Newton pressed a button next to the door and it slid to the side with a click. Newton realized that must have been the clicking sound he heard earlier.

  He wiggled through the opening, landing in a tube that sloped downward until it reached a large tunnel under the dorm building that branched off in different directions.

  “Higgy!” he called in a loud whisper. “Where are you?”

  Nothing.

  Then all of a sudden there was a loud, echoing, “Boo!” and something bounced out of one of the tunnel’s branches and rolled toward Newton.

  He jumped up, terrified, and instinctively stretched out his arms and legs. They stuck to the ceiling! From his perch up there, he looked down and saw that what scared him was actually a gelatinous ball of goo. Then two eyeballs popped out of it.

  “Sorry I scared you, Newton,” the goo ball gurgled. “But that’s one cool trick you can do.”

  Newton hopped to the ground. “Higgy?”

  “Yup. It’s me,” Higgy replied. “I ditched my clothes. Without them, I can basically shift into any form I want to. Comes in handy.”

  “Wow, that’s pretty cool,” Newton remarked.

  “Thanks,” Higgy replied. “And that means you passed the roommate test!”

  “I did?” Newton asked.

  “Yup,” Higgy replied. “You didn’t run screaming, and you knew it was me. My last roommate dropped out of school and never looked back.”

  I can understand that, Newton thought. He looked around. “So what is this place?”

  “I’ve studied these underground tunnels and they lead to every section of the school,” Higgy explained. “I built the trapdoor so I could sneak into the cafeteria for midnight snacks without getting caught. I seem to have a much greater caloric requirement than other kids do. Guess it’s a goo thing.”

  Newton nodded. “Which one leads to the cafeteria?”

  Higgy turned on a flashlight he was holding and pointed it at one of the tunnels. “That one leads to the cafeteria and the locker hives. The one over there leads to the library, but I’ve never felt the urge for a midnight study session.”

  Higgy started to bounce down the cafeteria tunnel. “Follow me! I know it’s not midnight yet, but all this activity has made me crave calories.”

  Newton followed as Higgy bounced and slithered down the tunnel. Newton looked around as they went. The floor beneath them felt hard and smooth. Above, the ceiling looked like wood. Pipes snaked along the tunnel walls, some of them dripping water. Lacy spiderwebs hung in the corners.

  The tunnel came to a turn, and Higgy stopped and looked up. A large round pipe hung down from the ceiling.

  “This leads to the cafeteria’s kitchen,” Higgy said. “I can just slither right up, and if you can scurry up it like you did with the bunk bed, I think you’ll make it.”

  “Sure,” Newton said, and he realized he was excited. Sharing this secret with Higgy . . . sharing secrets was something that friends did. He’d found another friend.

  Then they heard a loud creaking noise.

  “Hold up!” Higgy whispered, and he flattened himself against the wall. Newton did the same thing.

  Then one of Higgy’s eyeballs extended on a tendril of goo and peeked around the corner.

  “It’s Stubbins Crouch!” Higgy whispered. “What’s he doing down here?”

  “Who’s that?” Newton whispered back.

  “The school custodian,” Higgy replied. “He cleans up the place. But this is the first time I’ve seen him down here.”

  Higgy was silent for a moment. “He went toward the Teacher’s Lounge,” he said. “But it’s not safe. I wish we could get something to eat, but I’m afraid we should go back.”

  “Sure,” Newton said.

  They made their way back toward the dorm room and up through the trapdoor. Higgy bounced onto his bed.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I sleep in my gooey state,” Higgy said.

  “That’s fine with me,” Newton said, and climbed back onto the top of the bunk again. Then he leaned back on the pillow.

  “Hey, Higgy?”

  “What?”

  “Your last roommate left the school and never came back?” Newton asked.

  “That’s right,” Higgy replied. “He was totally spineless. And I can say that because I don’t have a spine and I’m a lot tougher than he was!”

  Newton thought about that for a minute. Higgy must have really scared his last roommate. But he seemed like a good guy at heart.

  “Good night, Hig
gy.”

  “Good night, Newton.”

  Then Newton closed his eyes.

  CHAPTER 6

  It’s Alive!

  “Rise and shine, Newton!”

  As Newton heard Higgy’s cheerful voice and opened his eyes, Shelly’s words from the day before popped into his head.

  Maybe tomorrow you’ll wake up and remember everything.

  “I’m Newton Warp,” he said out loud, testing it. He knew he was at Franken-Sci High. He knew he was in a dorm room with his roommate, Higgy, who was made of green goo. He remembered everything that happened after he woke up in the library yesterday—but nothing at all that happened before. And he felt a new feeling: disappointment.

  He didn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because Higgy was staring at him, dressed in his bandages and clothes again.

  “I already know your name, Newton,” Higgy said. “Just wanted to let you know that it’s six forty-five. And yesterday I overheard you talking to Shelly Ravenholt outside the door. She’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”

  Newton jumped down from the top bunk. “Thanks,” he said, and then started hopping from side to side on alternating feet and then dancing toward the door to their room. “Uh . . .”

  “Bathroom is down the hall on the left,” Higgy said.

  Newton was back and dressed in his spirit wear when Shelly knocked on the door at 7:00 a.m. on the dot.

  “Happy day two!” she said when he answered the door. “Did any memories come back to you?”

  Newton shook his head. “None,” he said.

  Shelly gave him a sympathetic smile. “That’s okay. Today we can make lots of new ones.”

  Newton smiled. He liked the sound of that.

  Then she looked him up and down. “And maybe we’ll find you some new clothes, too,” she said. “Not that what you’re wearing isn’t . . . spirited. Come on, we’ll grab a quick smoothie first.”

  He grabbed his bag and tablet, and they made their way to the main school building and up a transport tube to the cafeteria. Newton smoothed his hair without thinking this time.

  Shelly led him through a crowd of students to a big metal machine on one side of the cafeteria. She grabbed a large paper cup, placed it under a nozzle, and pressed a button.

  “I’m getting a Morning Maximizer for each of us,” she said. “Each smoothie is calculated to have enough protein, minerals, and amino acids to get us through to lunchtime.”

  She put a straw in the cup and handed the smoothie to Newton. Then she made herself one.

  “Let’s take the stairs,” she said, leading Newton to a spiral staircase. “The last time I tried to take a smoothie in a transport tube, the lid flew off and my smoothie went everywhere. Stubbins Crouch, the school custodian, was furious at me.”

  They slurped their smoothies as they took the steps down to the first floor. Shelly led him to a group of bins outside Mumtaz’s office.

  She tossed her cup into a bin marked COMPOST. Newton did the same. Then Shelly pointed to another bin marked LOST AND FOUND.

  “Some of the stuff has been in here for years,” Shelly said, digging into the pile. “I bet we can find you a whole wardrobe.”

  A pile started to form at Newton’s feet as Shelly tossed things to him. Gray-and-black spider-print shorts with a belt that doubled as a butterfly net. Neon-green galoshes. Black jeans that self-adjusted to fit anyone perfectly at the touch of a button. A hazmat suit. A few T-shirts, including one with built-in air-conditioning. A jacket.

  “I don’t see any socks, but I can knit you some,” Shelly said. She yanked on the scarf she was wearing. “It’s a hobby.”

  “Thanks,” Newton said, picking up the clothes.

  “No time to go back to your dorm,” Shelly said. “I’m taking you to a Monster Club meeting before our first class. Let’s dump these in your locker for now.”

  At the locker hive, Newton was pleased that he remembered the opening procedure: fingerprint, eyeballs, and then . . .

  “Whoa!” he said, licking the pad. “It tastes like . . . fire, and something sour, and other stuff.”

  “I haven’t opened my locker yet, but I hear it’s kimchi,” Shelly explained. Newton looked confused. “It’s a spicy, fermented cabbage used in Korean food.”

  “I like it,” Newton said as he stuffed the clothes in his locker and shut the door. Then he followed Shelly as they rushed to the club meeting.

  They walked into a cozy laboratory filled with illustrated posters of plant and animal species, beakers and petri dishes balanced precariously on towering piles of paper, and students checking on a variety of experiments in progress. Professor Gertrude Leviathan, a woman with a wild mass of pink curls framing her face and a leopard-print lab coat, was bustling around from table to table, greeting everyone. When she saw Shelly, she rushed over and gave her a big hug.

  “Hello, my dear!” she said. “I see you’ve brought a friend! How marvelous!”

  “Yes, this is Newton,” Shelly replied. “He’s a new student. You didn’t get a message about him from Mumtaz?”

  Leviathan pointed to the messy pile on her desk. “I haven’t checked my messages today. Can’t find my tablet,” she said. “But I’m ecstatic to have you here, Newton. We’re a Franken-Science Club. Do you know what that is?” she asked, but didn’t wait for him to answer. “It’s all about bringing things to life and making monsters, and it’s wonderful! We’ve been working on animating everyday things that aren’t usually alive. You know, making toothbrushes sing, desk lamps dance, and those sorts of things. You’ll pick it up in no time!”

  Shelly and Newton found seats as the club meeting began. “How are everyone’s formulas coming along?” Leviathan asked.

  The students all answered, mostly in a positive way, and one girl boomed, “Great!” Newton turned at the sound of her loud voice. He saw a girl whose hair was tied in a braided bun on top of her head.

  “That’s Tootie Van der Flootin,” Shelly told Newton. “She’s a big fan of mutant monster making. Not my style, really, but she’s basically okay.”

  “Don’t forget to have fun, everyone,” Professor Leviathan announced, “and raise your hand if you need help.”

  The kids got busy working. Shelly’s formula was already completed, and applied to a pair of pet food and water bowls that were growing in the incubator.

  “It’s a machine that provides a controlled environment to help things grow,” she told Newton. She let him take a peek, and the bowls were already starting to move on their own.

  “Hi!” Newton said to the food bowl, and it let out a little arf!

  Tootie walked up to Shelly and nodded at Newton. “ ’Sup, new kid?”

  “ ’Sup,” Newton replied.

  “Wait till you guys see the totally fierce monster I’m working on for the Mad Science Fair!” Tootie said. “It’s going to be terrifyingly awesome.”

  Shelly shivered. “You know I don’t do scary, Tootie,” Shelly said.

  “You’re missing out.” Tootie said. “It’s a blast. Speaking of which, I need to get going on my experiment.”

  Shelly brightened. “Hey, can we watch you work on it? Mine’s in the incubator.”

  Tootie shrugged. “Sure.”

  Newton and Shelly watched as Tootie started mixing ingredients, heating them on a hot plate, using a centrifuge to separate liquid, and compiling a small mountain of test tubes and pipettes. Finally, a miniature firework burst out of a vial of green liquid, and Tootie said it was ready.

  “What’s it for?” Newton asked.

  Tootie smiled. “It’s a surprise. But don’t worry: You’ll find out later today. I have a special test planned.”

  The bell rang, and Shelly looked at Newton. “Ready for your first class?”

  Newton nodded. “I think so. It’s just . . . I guess I’m worried that I won’t know anything. I don’t even know if I’ve ever been in a class!”

  They walked down the hall and stopped in front of a wo
oden door. “I’m sure Mumtaz has told the teachers about your amnesia,” Shelly said. “Don’t stress about it.”

  She opened the door, and the room was filled with kids getting settled at their desks. They all looked up when Shelly and Newton walked in.

  “You must be Newton. Come over here, young man.”

  Newton turned to see a man sitting behind a desk. Wisps of white hair sprouted from his head like weeds. His wire spectacles were enormous on his thin, wrinkled face and made his eyes look huge. He was dressed neatly, but everything he wore clashed. He was wearing yellow-and-orange tartan pants, a blue-and-green checked shirt, purple plaid suspenders, and a red gingham bowtie.

  “This is Newton Warp, Professor Wagg,” Shelly said. “He needs a textbook.”

  “Warp, eh?” Professor Wagg repeated in a creaky voice. “Where are you from, young man?”

  “Um . . . the library,” Newton answered, and some of the students tittered.

  Professor Wagg sighed. “Another disrespectful young scamp. Take a seat, please.” He handed a book to Newton: A Comprehensive History of Mad Scientists from the Pyramids to the Present.

  “Most of our textbooks are files on our tablets,” Shelly explained while they walked to their seats. “But Professor Wagg is old school.”

  Newton slid into his seat—and then heard a loud voice next to him.

  “Good morning, Newton-who-is-not-a-spy.” It was Mimi. “I think it’s interesting that even though you say you’re not a spy, you chose to sit right next to me where you can see everything I do.”

  “Um, I’m actually sitting next to Shelly,” Newton said, pointing to Shelly next to him.

  “Likely story,” Mimi said.

  There was a beep sound. After two more beeps, a holographic image of Headmistress Mumtaz’s head appeared in the front of the room.

  “Good morning, students,” she said. “I want to remind everyone that the annual Mad Science Fair is only two weeks away. By now you should have completed your hypotheses and begun the testing process. A reminder: Any projects involving carnivorous creatures must be pre-approved by the main office. Stay tuned for tomorrow, when we will announce this year’s big prize. Happy experimenting and good luck!”