The Heart of War: Book Seven of the What's Left of My World Series

by C. A. Rudolph

  “What are you doing here?”

  Jade squeezed the momentary button on her Surefire. She squinted through the beam still aimed at her to find Lauren standing several yards away behind a tree with her Glock leveled. “What the hell? Put your gun down and smother that torch. We came for you.”

  “You put your gun down,” Lauren instructed. “And why?”

  “Lauren, come on. This is stupid. And I think you know why.” Cutting off her weapon light, Jade engaged the safety and fully lowered her M4, then pointed inside the sport-utility’s rear deck.

  “Christian spilled, didn’t he?” Lauren asked in a sigh, gliding out from behind cover. “He told you where to look.”

  Jade flitted her eyes. “He gave us an idea of where to go and showed us how we might find you via GPS.”

  “Asshole,” she hissed under her breath. “I expected as much. Well, who else is with you? No way you came by yourself.”

  “No, I didn’t. Your buddy Jae came with, or rather, I came with him.”

  “True to form. And where is Jae?”

  “He is right behind you.” Woo Tang emerged now from the woods’ edge at Lauren’s aft, his NVDs stowed, guided only by moonlight.

  She rotated to verify, then shook her head, waving her hands around in thorough dissatisfaction. “Okay, what is this, really? The two of you came here to stop me? The ball’s already in motion, it’s too late for that. What I’ve started can’t be stopped. And won’t be.”

  Woo Tang signaled Jade to provide them some space and discretion and inched his way closer. “Lauren Russell, would you mind holstering that weapon, please?”

  She glanced at the Glock in her hand, lowered the muzzle, and sent the weapon home.

  “As predicated by standing orders, I was sent to locate and retrieve you. Miss Hensley, under no obligation of her own, elected to come along. Christian and the DHS agent briefed us on the subject of your actions upon arrival. The children being found unharmed was a blessing, and owing to you, are all now home safe and sound. But your family is worried about you. And your welfare bears distinct importance and needed to be verified.”

  “Okay, you verified it.” Lauren held out her arms and jostled her body about. “I’m still in one piece. Fully functional. So, is that mission accomplished for you? Or is there more to it than that?”

  Woo Tang hesitated then parroted, “There is more to it than that.”

  “Figures,” Lauren groaned and strolled toward the SUV once Jade had moved a distance away.

  “It has been determined that your actions may have surpassed your ability to control them, and that you, now, are in way over your head.”

  Lauren huffed. “And do the determiners understand that I don’t give a shit?”

  “I believe most have arrived at that conclusion.”

  “Good. Because I don’t.” Lauren slammed close the SUV’s rear gate. “I don’t give a shit anymore, Jae. The silent, slow, systematic attacks are over and done with. They’re launching missiles at us now—blowing up homes and churches…killing people we know and love. They almost killed my sister and her unborn child with her. Neo could die…” She trailed off into angered hisses. “And John…they just took him from me. They had no right to do that.”

  “Lauren Russ—”

  “No, don’t. Don’t interrupt.” Lauren pointed at Woo Tang, firing off a glare engulfed in flames. “How can you be so calm and passive? You lost people too, Jae. Those DHS assholes…they declared war on us. They drew first blood. And for what? Why? What did we ever do to them?” She paused to inhale a breath. “Apart from defying them, nothing! And now, because of that, they want all of us dead!”

  “And the only viable recourse you conceive is going to war with them in return?” Woo Tang asked. “Doing so alone and in your present state of mind does not have a favorable ending attached.”

  “No shit it doesn’t.”

  “There is a far better expression for it, if you will permit me.”

  Lauren expelled a sigh.

  “Suicide.”

  She gritted her teeth, eyebrows jutting up. “I know you mean well, and I know what you’re trying to do. You and Jade came here to talk me out of this, but that can’t be done. I know what needs to happen, and I’m doing it. There has only ever been one answer to this charade, and recent events have rendered that answer very clear to me.”

  “And that answer is?”

  Lauren glared. “Kill them. Kill them all. Every single last one of them.”

  Woo Tang’s only response was to squint his eyes.

  Lauren folded her arms and tensed as a thousand justifications for vengeance collided with her at once. “But death alone is too good for them. It’s too quick, too sudden. They deserve harsher. They need to feel every gram of pain they’ve inflicted.”

  “And how do you intend to bring that to fruition?”

  Lauren’s cheeks flushed, her eyes going alight with smoldering fury. “I’m going to ignite the sky,” she roared, “incinerate them, everything and everyone they know, hold dear, and love, anything that’s ever brought them joy or made them smile—the whole world as they know it, in the same spiteful manner they did mine. And reduce it all to ashes.” She backstepped, still casting a steely gaze. “But unlike them, I won’t make the same mistakes, I won’t leave anyone alive to see the aftermath. They’re all destined for hell, and that’s exactly where I’m going to send them.” A pause. “I don’t want war with them, Jae. I just want to kill them. They can apologize all they want, claim they were just doing their jobs or following orders, pray for mercy or beg for their lives, but it won’t matter. I won’t stop until there’s not a single one of them left…or until something happens to me.” She turned away, stormed off, and went to sit in the driver’s seat.

  Woo Tang remained static for a moment, gliding forward only to keep her from closing the door. “I have heard you out and would like to request you do the same for me. Would that be asking too much?”

  Lauren let out an exasperated sigh, letting go of the door handle. “No.”

  “Thank you, as there are a few items of which I wish to unburden myself before we go.”

  “We go?”

  Woo Tang held up a finger. “You and I have touched on similar subject matter before, though not comprehensively enough. And for that, I must apologize,” he began. “I should have broached the topic long before now. I had a conversation with your father before his disappearance, before the world changed. I had been watching you evolve for some time as your training progressed and had desired to verbally review your advancement with him. The two of us spoke very highly of you for the dialogue’s majority. During the closing moments, however, I imparted unto him something of a…word of warning.”

  Lauren looked at him askance.

  “While I do not remember every word verbatim, I told him that his daughter was becoming capable of staggering achievements, and those achievements were certain to blossom as she grew in age and wisdom. But I also told him something to which he did not know how to respond. That you, his daughter, had in her possession something both rare and potentially dangerous. An element of being that I have come to recognize as a heart of war. You have never been one who backs down from any challenge. When given the option to move forward or retreat, you move forward. To act or remain static, you act. You do so instinctively and without fear, with no conscious effort, deprived of choice because for you, the choice is preconceived. A reflex. I understand this behavior because, in a word, I am and have always been much the same way.

  “I told your father there was a chance that the skills he had intended for you to learn might not pan out in the manner he had originally envisioned. That if someday pushed to your limits, utilization of those skills in manners unsuitable could occur on impulse. What you have been planning, that which you have done already and remain intent upon carrying out is precisely why I opted to warn him.”

  Lauren turned away and hung her head. “Jae, if this is
your way of getting me to change my mind on this—”

  “Again, I have heard you out.” Woo Tang held up a hand. “Please extend me the same courtesy.”

  “Sorry.”

  He patted her shoulder. “You are not the only person to possess a heart of war, but you very well could be one of a scarce few who does and remains alive to this day. It is not a trait of which to be ashamed, nor is it one from which to hide—from yourself or others. But it is akin to having an omnipotent ability and, thus, necessitates prodigious responsibility. It must be embraced and controlled, and you must learn to do so in short order. I do not wish to see you turn out as so many others have.” Woo Tang paused. “You are a warrior in every aspect of the word. I have zero doubts about that. I have grown to know you, love you, and respect you as a person and as a young woman fighting her way through a precarious life. You have earned my admiration, and I am proud to serve with you and extend you guidance, but this is your life, and what you do with it remains your choice. I do not mince words—what you have planned is a suicide mission. The odds are far from being in our favor, but I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to go alone. If you choose to move forward with this, I will be accompanying you. And I will fight alongside you. And I will die alongside you if it comes to that.”

  “Dammit.” Lauren’s voice signaled distress. “Damn you, that’s so not fair, Jae.”

  “How can it not be? You have made your decision. And in turn, I have made mine. Fair is fair.”

  “But what about your orders?”

  “My orders are to ensure that no harm befalls you. Leaving you unaccompanied would be tantamount to explicit dereliction of duty.”

  She wiped away the tears that had gathered in her lower eyelids. “Jae, I dreamt this. I dreamt that people would die, and some of them actually did. And there was this entity, a man, he said he was my enemy, and the reason he killed the people I loved was because I had a chance to stop him and I didn’t. I didn’t know what that meant until the attack the other day. Something has to be done, and if I’m not the one to do it, then who? I refuse to sit and wait around and think about it anymore. This has to stop. And I know doing this alone is crazy, but if we don’t shut this down, it’s never going to end. These people are just going to keep coming at us, taking from us, and winning. And eventually, they’ll wipe us out. Actions have consequences, but so does inaction. Doing nothing solves nothing. The man in my dream said that to me. And he was right.”

  “Dreams can be enlightening, but are oftentimes misleading, all the same,” Woo Tang said. “I concur that something must be done, but disagree with how you have chosen to go about it. You will remember me telling you before that I have never believed you to have a single purpose in this world, for indeed, you are the owner of many. You are not a warmonger, a person who utilizes hate to fuel her revenge and only wishes to expel her wrath. You merely seek justice and a means of righting the wrongs, and you are far from being alone in that quest. Conversely, there are others better suited than you or me for a campaign such as this, who are well-versed in every conceivable facet of war, who comprehend tactics, possess expertise in every strategy imaginable, and who know how to appropriately contend with circumstances such as these. Men like Dave Graham.”

  Lauren huffed. “I knew you were going to say that. I just knew it.”

  “Have I become that unsurprising?”

  Lauren shook her head. “No, things you say still throw me for a loop, sometimes. Like everything you’ve told me in the past few minutes.”

  “It is better to know one’s self than to not. Lauren Russell, you are a living, breathing, fighting young woman with a remarkable life ahead of her, but to find that life, live it and live through it, you must gain control of that which dwells within you. And that control must be maintained.” Woo Tang turned away and took several steps before facing her again. “We have known each other for something approaching three years, yes? And in that time, how familiar do you believe you have become with the man behind this voice?”

  Lauren’s lips parted. “I don’t know…I’d like to think I know you pretty well, but I have a feeling you’re about to tell me otherwise.”

  The esteemed former SEAL peered away, inhaling a lengthy, deep breath, then emptied his lungs. “I was married, once upon a time. My bride’s name was Kyla. We met while I was on leave a few years after joining the teams. We wed a few months after. She was beautiful in every way imaginable. Our love was a unique one. It began simply with next to zero effort on either of our parts. She was easy to please, and that was beneficial for us; my commitments did not allow much in terms of time spent together. We were married for barely more than a year when she informed me she was expecting and bearing our child. She did so mere hours before I was slated to ship out for an op purported to last a month or more. I was consumed with joy after she told me, though her timing had not been the best. I knew it would weigh heavily in my thoughts and likely put the mission at risk. Her justification for having done so was that life itself was replete with risks, and each time I went away ran the risk that she might never see me again. She could not bear the thought of potentially losing me and not having told me that we had created a life.”

  Woo Tang’s lower eyelids began to swell. “Her manner of conveying her feelings always made sense to me, and I could not be displeased with her after that. I departed that evening and returned three weeks later. I called immediately after debriefing, but she did not answer. I did not think anything of it, no concerns entered my mind until I returned home and found our apartment building entwined in yellow crime scene tape.” He took a long pause. “I was not allowed inside, but found a way in anyway. There was…blood everywhere. Torn shreds of clothing, broken glass, patches of her gloss black hair. A narcotics dealer with close ties to the cartels had been hunting a former errand boy turned informant who had, at one time, lived on our floor. My wife and our unborn were…slaughtered by mistake. I never saw her smiling face again, never uttered a suitable goodbye to her. However…I did seek atonement for her unlawful death.”

  He took several breaths before continuing. “I mourned her for days before rallying with six of my brothers, including my senior, who had no business being there. He showed up, nevertheless, to set us all straight on the conceivable implications of what we were proposing to effectuate.”

  “And what was that?” Lauren queried, her attention focused on his every word now.

  “We…did what we did best. Silently worked the system, circumnavigated the criminal class structure, and ultimately found those directly responsible. Every assailant paid for his transgressions with his life, but the venture cost two of my brothers theirs. That is as far into detail as I wish to share; it is not something I would ever do again. Everyone encounters loss; no one is exempted. It is how we conduct ourselves in redressing loss that demonstrates our true characters. I do not condemn you for wanting vengeance. The premise is a primal one and has existed since the beginning of time. But you are not the only person in this world who has lost a loved one, and I implore you not to use your loss as a pretext to destroy yourself.” Woo Tang looked away and started off. “That is all I have to say for now. Know that I will not be going anywhere without you. Please let me know what you intend to do from here.”

  The veteran frogman marched away beneath the moon’s intense glow without another word, leaving Lauren with a lot to think about. She sat motionless, her legs dangling from the seat, staring a hole into the ground, feeling the weight of her decisions, realizing now that she had been wrong in so many ways, with no direction of where to go from here, other than home.

  Lauren thought over the judgment she would most definitely receive in the wake of this. She had acted, only to now feel as though the path she’d chosen had simply enhanced the laundry list of challenges the valley had been facing. Would she come to regret what she had done? Would she wake in the middle of the night with nightmares from this day forward in consequence of her actions? Would Jo
hn find a way to forgive her? Would her parents pardon her mistakes? Would God absolve her?

  As Woo Tang moved out of sight, a figure yet to be announced turned the corner from the forest road and treaded into Jade’s field of view, catching her by surprise. She went to level her rifle but stopped upon identifying the night-vision binoculars and skull crusher he was wearing. “Alan? W-where did you come from?”

  “Back there a little ways,” he said casually, pointing to the road while making his way hastily to Lauren.

  She jumped down from the driver’s seat upon seeing him enter her periphery. She looked upon him in an expectant daze, her pulse quickening at the sound of his voice.

  “I won’t discount anything he said to you, but I would like to add a few things,” Alan said. “But before that, know that I’m not mad at you and didn’t come to lecture you. I’m overjoyed seeing that you’re okay, and I love you…more than life itself.”

  Lauren shuddered. “How did you find us?”

  Alan shrugged and moved closer to her. “I followed my heart. Actually, after a great deal of pleading on my end, your friend Will gave me a ride. I wasn’t supposed to come, you see. Your mother and I argued about it. Her reasons for not wanting me to leave were sound. But I came anyway because I had to. Because I’m a dad and you’re my kid, and I won’t consent to you throwing your life away like this.”

  Lauren turned her head aside.

  “I know you’re hurting, and I wish I could do something to ease your pain and make this all go away, but that’s out of my hands. Life doesn’t always pan out like we want, and I don’t know why that is, but I do know there’s always more than one solution to a problem, and that includes this one.” A pause. “Ever since I’ve been home, I’ve been killing myself to relearn all I can about your mom, about Grace and you. And in that time, I’ve learned something impressive about you, something you have going for you that you need to know, that might help you through this.”