The Chance: A Novel

by Karen Kingsbury

  “I’ve struggled.” Her eyes had been dry since they walked into her mother’s apartment. Now they grew wet again. “My mom told me to ask God if He was real.” She sniffed, and the heartache she’d lived with was evident again. “I think . . . finding you tonight, knowing how you feel, how you’ve always felt . . . that was God’s way of telling me that He is real. He loves me no matter what I’ve done. And . . .” She paused, her voice strained by the depth of her emotions. “Even when I felt most alone, He was there.”

  “He was.” Nolan pulled her close again, running his hand along her back. “He is real. He’s here now.”

  “Kinzie . . .” Ellie leaned back so she could see his eyes. “She prays for me all the time. That I’ll find my happy-ever-after in Jesus.”

  Nolan smiled. He loved Ellie’s daughter already. “Not a lot different from my prayer for you.” He grew more serious. “That and my constant prayer that I’d find you. I never stopped asking God for that.”

  The sky was getting light, the sun coming up. “I have today. But after that I report back to the team.” He hesitated. “We fly to Los Angeles on the third.”

  “The Lakers.” She already knew. “They clinched it yesterday.”

  “They did.” He grinned, proud of her. “You still love basketball.”

  She smiled, their eyes connected again. “I still love watching you play basketball.”

  He pictured her over the years, cheering him on from a distance while she hid from him. Something he would probably never completely understand. “Anyway.” He eased the two of them to their feet again and slipped his arms around her waist. “I can’t leave without telling you something.”

  She looked unsure. “Okay.”

  He pictured the tackle box with both letters in the back of his SUV. Before leaving the park, they had filled the hole again. They would have anyway, but something about the act felt like closure. The search was over for both of them. He looked deeper into her eyes. “It’s about my letter.”

  “Your letter?” She didn’t ask more than that. Her eyes showed a hint of the fear she’d brought with her to Savannah.

  “Yes.” He paused. How he loved the feel of her in his arms. “Ellie . . . I still mean every word.” He moved one hand softly to her cheek, looking into her heart. “Do you understand?”

  She searched his eyes, clearly confused. “Not really.”

  He felt his smile start in his heart and work its way to his eyes. “I want to marry you. I still mean it.”

  “Nolan . . .” She gave the slightest shake of her head. “You only just found me.”

  “It doesn’t matter.” He held her face tenderly with both hands. She was the rarest gift, his Ellie. “I’ve wanted to marry you for as long as I can remember.”

  She looked like she might disagree with him, but after a few seconds, she let her forehead rest on his chest. “Nolan, I’m not laughing now.” She seemed to summon all her strength to lift her head and look at him again. “Please don’t tease about this.”

  He couldn’t wait another minute. If she was going to doubt his feelings even after all he’d told her, there was only one way he knew to convince her. He drew her close, and slowly, as if all of his life had led to this moment, he brought his lips to hers. The kiss started like a slow burn, but after a few seconds, he was struck by the passion between them, how badly he wanted her.

  “Mmmm.” He stepped back, forcing himself to keep at least a little distance between them. He felt dizzy, his body screaming for her. He could feel the smoke in his eyes as he looked into hers. “I’m serious, Ellie.” Each word was measured, rich with the fullness of his love and desire for her. “I want to marry you. I don’t have a ring, but I’ll get one.” He smiled at Kinzie, tuckered out across the room. The little girl with no father in her life. “I’ll be her daddy, Ellie. No one could ever love your little girl more than me. I want you both. For the rest of my life.”

  Her smile mixed with happy tears, her own passion giving way to the childlike joy he had always loved in her, the one he would never tire of, for the rest of his life. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rocked with him. “It’s more than I can take in.” When she pulled back, her cheeks were wet, but her smile remained. “Like I might need a lifetime to believe this is real.”

  “Fine with me.” Once more he kissed her, not as long this time. He wouldn’t put either of them in a situation they’d regret. He’d waited all these years to find her. They would honor the God who had brought them together by waiting until their wedding. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too. I always have.”

  “Can we pray?” He looked at her, into her soul. “Do you believe enough to pray?”

  “I do now.” She smiled as if just saying the words brought her more peace than she could contain. “After this week, I’ll believe in God as long as I live. He didn’t need to prove Himself to me.” She seemed to understand at a deep level. “But He did anyway. Because He loves me.”

  “So much, Ellie.” Nolan bowed his head so that their foreheads touched. He thanked God for letting him find her, and for helping Ellie believe again, and for Kinzie. “The prayers of children are sometimes the strongest of all. Thank you for the faith of Ellie’s daughter. Help us always have faith like a child, Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  “Amen.”

  He needed to get some sleep at the hotel where he was staying. But he promised to come back as soon as he woke up. They could spend the day together, and at night he would head back to Atlanta. She promised to stay at her mom’s until the play-offs were over. Until they could make a plan. They hugged again for a long time, and finally, he pulled himself away. On the drive back to the hotel, he did the one thing he hadn’t done when he was with her.

  He let the tears come.

  Tears for all they’d lost, the seasons and years. And for the way they’d almost missed each other even at their eleven-year mark. But most of all he broke down because of God’s faithfulness. The Lord had prompted him to head to the oak tree at midnight instead of waiting for daytime or the evening. The Lord who had helped him survive his dad’s death and the years of missing Ellie had faithfully brought the girl he loved straight into his arms.

  God had moved all of heaven and earth to see that the impossible might happen tonight. On what had been their last chance to find each other. And as Nolan’s tears dried, he was consumed by gratitude for his Lord. For the one who loved so much that He didn’t only die for him. He had brought him Ellie Tucker. Not only yesterday and today.

  But forever.

  Chapter Thirty

  It was the sixth game of the NBA finals.

  Atlanta was up three to two games over the Lakers, and the Hawks could clinch it with a win at home tonight. Caroline had prayed for Nolan since she woke up that morning. She and John and Ellie and Kinzie were supposed to meet him at the Hawks’ arena ninety minutes before game time. He’d given them specific directions about where to park and where to find him.

  Caroline couldn’t put her finger on it, but Nolan seemed to be up to something. He had already asked for Ellie’s hand, but he planned to propose to her at Gordonston Park after the play-offs. Not here, in front of thousands of people.

  Still, judging by the way he’d acted that morning when he came by for breakfast, she was almost sure he was up to something, some kind of surprise for Ellie.

  “You ready, Mom?” Ellie was driving. She parked the car in the garage VIP section, like she’d done at the previous recent home games, and the four of them headed into the arena. “They’re going to win tonight. I can feel it.”

  “Me, too.” Kinzie pumped her fist in the air a few times.

  “I thought they’d clinch it last week.” John was bursting with excitement. “Nolan said he was distracted, thinking about Ellie.” He grinned at his sister.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.” Ellie held Kinzie’s hand, and the two of them led the way into the elevator and got off at the top f
loor. “He’s in the executive dining room. Down this way.”

  Caroline studied her daughter. She, too, seemed a little antsy tonight. If Nolan were cooking up a surprise engagement, Ellie wouldn’t know. Caroline was still trying to figure it out when they reached the dining room.

  “Here we are.” Ellie grinned at Kinzie. Then she looked back at Caroline. “Ready?”

  “Of course.” Caroline laughed, slightly baffled. Whatever was happening, she felt like she was the only one out of the loop.

  John linked arms with her as they walked inside, and there was Nolan standing next to . . . “Alan!” Caroline whispered his name as her hand flew to her mouth.

  “Dad.” Ellie walked over and hugged him. Kinzie did the same. The two of them stood beside Nolan. Ellie smiled at her father. “Thanks for coming.”

  Caroline couldn’t believe her eyes, couldn’t remember how to speak or breathe. Alan was here? After all this time?

  That was when she noticed his face, the tears on his cheeks. Alan looked from Ellie and Kinzie to Caroline. “You can thank Nolan.” He looked at the young man next to him. “It was his idea. He flew me out.”

  “Well . . .” Nolan’s eyes looked damp. He held Ellie closer, his arm around her shoulders. “I can’t have my dad here.” His voice was strained. “So having you here . . . to watch us win the championship . . . that was the next best thing.”

  Caroline wasn’t sure what to do first. John had his arm linked through hers. Before she could close the distance and introduce John to Alan, her husband made the first move. He walked over and held his hand out to John. “Hi. I’m Alan.”

  “Sir.” John shook his hand, unaware of the drama playing out around him. “Nice to meet you. My name’s John.”

  “Nice to meet you, too.” Alan wiped at his cheeks and smiled. “I hope I have the chance to see you more often.”

  “Yes, sir.” John smiled shyly and then headed over to Nolan. Ellie and Kinzie were already in conversation with him, and John joined in.

  And like that, Alan came to her. It was the first time Caroline had seen Alan Tucker since he kicked her out of her own house two days before he and Ellie moved. But that man might as well have been a different one altogether. The man before her exuded a kind humility. His posture and demeanor, the light in his eyes. This was the Alan she had fallen in love with.

  Not only that, but his transparent heart shone in his expression so she had no doubt. His letter was absolutely true. He looked broken, no question. Repentant and desperate to make things right. He stopped a few inches from her. “I’m sorry, Caroline. I can’t say it enough.”

  “I forgive you.” Her words came slowly, soaked in a lifetime of meaning. “It was my fault, too. I’ll be sorry as long as I live.” She studied him; he still looked young and fit, but more than that, he looked gentle and compassionate. Like he cared about how she felt and what her life had become. “I can’t believe you came.”

  “I’ve wanted to see you for years. But I thought you’d refuse me.” His eyes were dry now, more serious. “Like I deserve.”

  “You know what I think?” She reached slowly for his hands, her heart full.

  He seemed to feel the shock of her touch to his core. As if he’d never expected her to care about him again. His words fell to a whisper. “What do you think, Caroline?”

  “I think tonight we’ll leave the past in the past.” She smiled at him. “We’ve all lost enough without looking back.”

  He nodded slowly, almost in a daze. Like he was seeing something in her from decades ago. “You have it again.”

  “What?”

  “Your innocence. Your joy.” His eyes welled up one more time. “I thought I killed it.”

  “It isn’t me.” She put her hand over her heart. “It’s Him. God almighty.” She looked around the room at Nolan and Ellie, Kinzie and John. Then she shook her head as she found Alan’s eyes again. “None of us would be standing here if it weren’t for Him.”

  “So true.”

  “You know what else I think?”

  “What?” He looked a little more lighthearted now, if still cautious.

  “I think after eleven years . . . I’d like to give my husband a hug.”

  And for the first time in far more than eleven years, distance and anger and emptiness didn’t stand between them.

  And maybe—if God let the miracle of grace continue—nothing ever would.

  Nolan had never let go of her heart.

  That was the only way Ellie could explain what had happened since June first. Nolan had won her heart when he was a boy, and he had never once let it go. She understood that now. In the meantime, in the years they’d lost, God had been shaping and growing him into a man who could love her and lead her. A man who was ready to share his whole life with her and Kinzie.

  If only she’d known sooner.

  Ellie took her place in the fourth row, center court, between Kinzie and her mother. On the other side of her mom was her father, and next to him was John. It would take time for the boy to get to know him, but what Ellie could see so far looked amicable. No telling where God would take her parents.

  As if, suddenly, anything was possible for all of them.

  If Ellie hadn’t believed in God after the first of June, watching her mom and dad hug in the executive dining room an hour ago was absolute proof. Grace and forgiveness like that weren’t possible in human strength.

  The game started, and like old times Ellie couldn’t take her eyes off Nolan. The way he played the game. Even with all the hoopla and packed stands she had to remind herself that she wasn’t back at Savannah High.

  They had a plan now, she and Nolan. She had called Tina and given a thirty-day notice, and she had found a salon in Savannah in need of a stylist. Tina had been thrilled for her. “Remind me to ask Kinzie to pray for my Prince Charming.” She had laughed, purely teasing. “No, really, Ellie. I feel like I’m watching the best ending to the best movie ever.”

  Ellie smiled now, even in the midst of the frenzied game, remembering how true her friend’s words had felt.

  On the court, Nolan hit a jumper from fifteen feet out. Atlanta by two.

  “Go, Nolan!” Kinzie jumped to her feet and clapped big. She screamed over the roar of the crowd. “He’s amazing, Mommy!”

  “Yes, baby.” Ellie had to yell to be heard. She gave her daughter a thumbs-up. “Very amazing!”

  L.A. called a time-out, and Kinzie scurried down the row to talk to John. Her parents were laughing about something, tentative, cautious. But more together than Ellie had seen since she was very young. She let her mind drift again. Tina had offered to box her things and FedEx them to her mom’s apartment. There wasn’t much, really. Clothes and some photo albums. And the box of her mother’s letters. The furniture was all Tina’s except Ellie’s and Kinzie’s beds, which would cost more to move than replace.

  In little time, the decision was made. Ellie and Kinzie didn’t ever need to go back to San Diego. They were home. Which was why, since the first of June, Ellie had spent every possible spare moment with Nolan. Not nearly as much time as either of them wanted—but then these were the NBA finals.

  And Nolan wanted badly to win.

  The Hawks stayed even with the Lakers through the third period, while Kinzie and John cheered at the top of their lungs. Time seemed to fly off the clock, and all at once there were two minutes left, Lakers up by four. Please, God . . . let him do this. Give him Your strength. You know how much he wants this for his dad. She smiled. Now that she had found her faith in God again, she was remembering how to pray. How she could talk to God as a friend. The way she had when she was Kinzie’s age.

  Fifteen seconds ran off the clock while L.A. passed the ball, and this time the Hawks called a time-out. Again Ellie prayed for Nolan, for his dream to be fulfilled. But in a much bigger way, they had already won. All of them. She no longer allowed herself to be constantly consumed by how much they’d lost. The years apart. Instead, she
found herself grateful for what they’d found. What they’d all found.

  Once in a while, she could still hear Nolan’s voice the way it had sounded that summer when they were fifteen. He had the tackle box, and they were about to write their letters, and she had just told him that eleven years seemed like a long time. His eyes had shone in the moonlight. For a single moment she closed her eyes, and she could hear him even now in the deafening arena. They had to write the letters, had to bury them in the tackle box.

  Just in case. We’d still have this one chance.

  That was where Ellie kept her mind these days. Not angry about what they’d lost but grateful. Because through the love of Nolan Cook and God Himself, they’d all been given exactly what they needed—one last chance. A smile filled her heart and spread to her face. This much was certain, no matter what happened as the rest of their lives played out. Her heart was healed and whole. And she knew something else as well.

  She would never, ever doubt God again.

  Nolan could feel the victory; he could taste it.

  Not because of his own abilities but because he could sense God’s spirit moving in him as tangibly as he could feel the ball in his hands. The sounds of the arena, the shouts from the players, the ball against the floor. None of it could touch the quiet in his soul. The peace and certainty there.

  One of the Lakers had cussed out the ref and gotten a technical foul with a little over a minute to play. Nolan sank both resulting free throws. Hawks down by two. A turnover at the other end, and this time Nolan spotted Dexter streaking down the floor. His bounce pass landed perfectly in his friend’s hands. Dexter palmed the ball with one hand and crashed it through the net with a dunk that brought the entire arena to its feet.

  Time-out Lakers. But nothing could stop the momentum. Let us shine for You, Lord . . . I don’t want it if it doesn’t glorify You. They ran down the floor, and Nolan could see the ball with crazy clarity. He stole it from the Lakers’ famous guard and threw it almost full court to Dexter again.