ZAAN (Sidewinders: Generations Book 1)

by Kat Mizera

  “So tight,” he sighed. “So hot. So fucking perfect.” He nipped at my lips as he began to move, his beautiful body gliding in and out of mine. Our tongues tangled and then the fingers of both his hands laced with mine. He pressed them into the mattress on either side of my head, his eyes never leaving mine. His movements grew harder, his thrusts deeper, and still, our gaze never broke.

  I’d never had an orgasm without clitoral stimulation before, but I did now, everything inside of me beginning to coil up tightly and exploding out in a series of waves that rocked both of us. He pulsed inside of me, his growl of pleasure echoing my moans. Then everything stopped and he collapsed against me, his long blond hair buried in the curve of my neck. I fucking loved his hair and dug my fingers into it happily.

  “God, I love you, Lexi.” His voice was rough with emotion and it soothed me like nothing else ever could. My skin tingled from our lovemaking and even though he’d climaxed, he was still rock-hard inside of me.

  “I love you too,” I whispered. “I can’t believe we let this go…let what we have fade.”

  “It never faded. The time just wasn’t right. I told you we needed time to grow up and it seems like we have. Or at least we’re in the process of it, anyway.”

  We smiled at each other and he finally pulled out, leaving me a little empty in the aftermath.

  “Zaan, no…”

  “I’ll be right back, baby.” He disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a wet cloth. Without a word, he started cleaning me up and I couldn’t do anything but watch him. It was incredibly personal, intimate, and so fucking sensual. No one, not even him, had ever wiped down my private parts after sex. Of course, I’d never gone without a condom before, either.

  “What’s this?” he asked, his fingers trailing over my hip.

  I smiled. “What’s it look like?”

  “You got…” He cleared his throat. “You got a tattoo like mine.”

  “I did.” I’d gotten the four symbols that represented Led Zeppelin’s fourth album tattooed on my hip, to match one he’d had since before we met. That album was our favorite and we’d sung all the words to every song together once upon a time, so it had a lot of meaning. I’d never told him about my tattoo, hoping that he would someday see it for himself. And that day had finally come.

  “Wow.” He ran his fingers along it. “You’re my everything, Lex.”

  “And you’re mine.”

  His stomach rumbled and he looked down ruefully. “Not to ruin a beautiful moment and be a dick or anything, but I’m starving. I hope you know what you want to eat.”

  I laughed. “I’m easy. You pick.”

  “I still have the metabolism I had at sixteen, so I can and do eat everything. Pizza? Chinese? Thai? Indian?”

  “Thai. I’d love some Thai fried rice and tempura shrimp.”

  “Done. I’ll order and come back to bed.”

  “I should probably get up,” I said. “Or we’ll never hear the doorbell.”

  He pulled a T-shirt over his head and tossed one at me. “Then get dressed, woman.”

  We spent the most amazing evening together. We talked and laughed as we ate, watched a TV show I wanted to turn him on to, and then made more sexy, glorious love. All night long. I tried to tell him to get to sleep, since he had hockey in the morning, but he didn’t care and I was helpless to resist him. It was so easy, so beautifully easy to be back together, it was a little scary. In my experience, things that were too good to be true usually turned out to be exactly that, but I couldn’t lose him again. I wouldn’t.

  I decided to bring it up at breakfast, to make sure we were on the same page, especially since we’d agreed to total honesty.

  “Can I talk to you about something?” I asked him over coffee and toast for me, eggs and bacon for him.

  “Anything.” He glanced up with a smile.

  “Are we going too fast?”

  As always, he knew exactly what I meant and where I was going with this. “Maybe? I mean, we already know each other. It’s not our first date, first time making love, first anything. We’re starting over, so we should definitely keep lines of communication open, but I’m not worried about going too fast. Are you?”

  “Yes and no.” I frowned. “I don’t want to screw it up, you know?”

  “You won’t, ’cause I won’t let you.” He leaned across the table and kissed me. “Now, you should get dressed so I can take you home before practice.” He paused. “Unless you want to drop me off so you have my truck all day?”

  I was thoughtful. “Would you mind me driving it?”

  He cocked his head. “Why would I mind?”

  “I don’t know. Guys can be pretty possessive of their vehicles.”

  “The only thing I’m truly possessive of is you.” He got to his feet and put our plates and mugs in the sink. “Take the truck and I can get a ride home with either your dad or one of the guys. No biggie.”

  “You realize I haven’t driven in over two years?” I arched a brow.

  “I have insurance.” He merely shrugged, as if it was a non-issue.

  I smiled, leaning over to kiss him. “I love you, Zaan Hagen.”

  “Love you too, Lexi Rousseau.”

  We got dressed and headed out. We’d just pulled out of the parking garage when Zaan slowed the truck.

  “Shit.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “The press is camped out beyond the gate.”

  6

  Zaan

  I didn’t want to get in a drag race with the press, but we had to leave and I wasn’t sure what to do. I had to go to work and taking her to her dad’s if we were being followed wasn’t safe either. Now that we’d essentially been outed, her taking my truck might be a problem. Not because I didn’t trust her, but because it added a level of complication she would undoubtedly be uncomfortable with.

  “What should we do?” she asked softly.

  “I think I should take you to work with me. They can’t get into the arena so you can either leave with your dad or maybe Mack can come get you.”

  She nodded. “Okay. Just be careful, please.”

  “Don’t worry. We’re not doing anything wrong. If they want to take a picture of you sitting in a truck with your boyfriend, let them.”

  “Speaking of which, that’s what I think I’m going to say about getting off the tour bus unexpectedly.”

  “That your boyfriend was nearby?”

  “That my ex-boyfriend and I decided to give it another try and I wanted to surprise you at the arena when I realized we were in the same town at the same time. Is that okay? I hate to throw you into the limelight, but this story allows me to talk about the incident without telling the world how much I hated the rest of the girls, which really serves no purpose.”

  “I don’t mind at all.”

  “You’ll need to keep up the story with the guys on the team since they kind of know otherwise.”

  “The guys are cool. Don’t worry about that. There’s a rule on the team, in general, that we can’t talk about the personal lives of the other players without permission. So the team keeps a pretty tight leash on gossip stuff.”

  “I hate dragging you into this, but it makes my life so much easier. Are you sure it’s okay?”

  “Absolutely.” I squeezed her hand. “Ready?”

  “Let’s go. Like you said, we’re not doing anything wrong.”

  We drove to the arena in silence and I kept my eye on the two vehicles that followed us. I called ahead to let Lana, our head of media relations, know that there was an issue with the paparazzi today and she made it a closed practice for the day, after consulting with Jared. We usually allowed fans to hang out by the exits on practice days and the guys on the team alternated spending a few minutes signing autographs and stuff. Occasionally, we closed it down and Lana had taken care of that today.

  The guards at the gate didn’t allow the two cars following us to stop, so I waited until they were forced to
move on before getting out of the truck. Lexi made a beeline inside while I got my bag and followed more slowly, looking over my shoulder. Tore pulled up as I was locking my truck and he glanced in the direction Lexi had gone.

  “Was that Lexi?” he asked, getting out of his car.

  “Yeah. Paparazzi followed us from my place, so I brought her here instead of home. I think she’s going to call Mack and have her come pick her up.”

  Tore fell into step beside me. “So…she slept over?”

  I glanced at him. “Yeah.”

  A slow smile spread across his face and then he fist-bumped me. “I’m really happy for you, man. I know how much you love her.”

  I nodded, looking away. Lexi was my Achilles’ heel and my buddies all knew it. I’d do anything for her and while they’d teased me about our complicated relationship in the past, I wasn’t getting that sense from Tore now.

  Lexi was waiting just inside the door and she smiled at Tore. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” He nodded. “See you guys later.”

  He took off and I reached down to give her a quick kiss. “I have to go. You okay on your own?”

  “Can you show me where my dad’s office is? I’ll sit there until Mack gets here.”

  “Sure.”

  We walked through the arena toward the elevators and took them up one level to where the coaches’ offices were. Her dad’s was the last one at the end of the hallway and even though I didn’t have to, I walked all the way down with her. Rob was at his desk and he looked up with a frown.

  “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

  “Press found me,” Lexi sighed. “We didn’t want to lead them to your house so we came here.”

  “Shit. Sorry, honey.”

  “See you later?” I touched her arm and she turned, kissing me.

  “Later.” She nodded.

  I waved at Rob and headed off, already running a little late.

  When I got to the dressing room, I locked up my things and hurried to change into my equipment. I wasn’t that comfortable with the press following me around, but I was more worried about Lexi than myself. I tended to stay under the radar, even here in Vegas where people recognized me, but Lexi would bring a new level of celebrity to my life. I didn’t mind, not if it meant I could have her again, but it would take some getting used to.

  “Why is practice locked down?” one of the guys called out.

  “My fault,” I said. “Lexi was with me and the press followed us. I had to bring her here instead of home, so Lana closed practice.” I figured it was easier to get in front of this.

  “Who’s Lexi?” Decker Reece, one of the new guys who’d just been traded to the Sidewinders this season, cocked his head.

  “Ex-girlfriend who’s now my current girlfriend again,” I replied. I knew this would get a reaction from a lot of the guys, but it was easier to just get it over with.

  “Lexi Rousseau,” Tore told Decker. “From Special Kay.”

  “Special…” Decker’s eyes widened. “Wow. That’s pretty cool. She’s got a great voice.”

  “She does.”

  “Also Coach Rousseau’s daughter,” Nate chimed in.

  Decker’s eyes got even wider. “Brass balls, dude.”

  I just smiled and the guys started talking about Lexi’s voice and some songs by Special Kay they liked, which was a nice, safe topic for them to get lost in. Hopefully, they wouldn’t ask me anything too personal. Not yet anyway. We were still finding each other again, and while I didn’t have an issue talking about her, or us, we had a complicated history that I didn’t want to get into at practice.

  “She slept over?” Nate asked quietly, lacing up his skates beside me. He, Tore, Dax O’Day and Royce Lenahan knew more than the other guys, so it was a natural question coming from him.

  “Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.”

  He nodded.

  We got out on the ice and I’d just started warming up when I saw her come sit in the seats behind the bench. She’d walked out with Lana, who was sitting beside her, and they seemed to be chatting amiably. I was pretty sure she’d never watched me practice before and it was kind of cool, having her see me at work. Games were different. Those were big, televised spectacles to some degree, where we put on a show, similar to what she did when she performed. I’d never seen her at the studio, recording, and she’d never seen me practice. Somehow, it felt like we’d reached some new level in our relationship, even though it was a small thing.

  I didn’t have to acknowledge her; she knew I’d seen her. I didn’t want to give the guys anything else to rib me about since I had a feeling that would be coming soon. We were leaving on a road trip on Sunday, so they would have ample opportunity to give me shit on the long flight to the East Coast. We’d be gone ten days, too, which sucked. I’d just gotten her back and now I had to leave, but I had no choice but to believe she wasn’t going anywhere. Not again.

  We practiced taking shots into the net for a while, then Jamie Teller, one of the assistant coaches, started running drills with the forwards. I tried to stay focused but my gaze kept drifting to Lexi. She was alone now and seemed a little lost as she watched. I yearned to reach out, talk to her, but I couldn’t. This was the hard part about being in love, I realized. The indescribable need to talk to them, make sure they were okay, remain connected. How the hell did the married guys do it and still focus on the game?

  I missed a pass from Vladimir Kolnikov and Jamie skated up beside me, arching a brow. “Head not in the game today?” His eyes twinkled, so he’d obviously noticed Lexi and was going to give me shit.

  “The press followed us here from my place,” I told him honestly. “I was too worried to take her anywhere else.”

  He nodded. “They’re not getting in here. Not today anyway. Focus on what we’re doing now and save the worry for after. You can’t change anything during practice.”

  He was right, of course, and I nodded. “You got it.” I put everything else out of my mind and felt better by the time we walked back to the locker room. Lexi wasn’t behind the bench anymore and I didn’t know when she’d left, but hopefully she’d gotten back to her dad’s okay.

  “What are you doing later?” Tore asked, falling into step beside me.

  “Not sure,” I told him. “I need to see what Lexi’s got going on. With the press following us around now, I don’t know if she’s coming back to my place or something else.”

  “If you need anything, let me know.” He clapped me on the shoulder and then went in the back to shower.

  I figured I’d shower at home since I just wanted to get out of here and call Lexi.

  She’d texted me though, giving me an update.

  LEXI: Mack picked me up after her meeting and we’ll be hunkered down at home. Come over after practice if you want. I have a phone interview at 1:00 and then I’ll be hanging out and maybe doing a little online shopping since I don’t have many clothes.

  ZAAN: I need to go home to shower and change. I’ll text you before I come over.

  LEXI: Love you. P.S. You’re pretty hot when you practice.

  ZAAN: Love you too. You’re always hot.

  I chuckled as I put my phone away.

  When I got to Rob and Mack’s house, Lexi was on the phone, motioning for me to be quiet as she finished her interview. Rob wasn’t home yet and Mack had left to go back to her job at the university where she taught, so Lexi and I had some quiet time together, something I realized we both relished.

  We settled on the couch and she snuggled against me once she hung up. “I have to go to L.A.,” she said.

  “Now?” I asked carefully.

  She glanced up. “Not sure yet, why?”

  “We leave on a road trip Sunday, so it might be easier for us if you were gone while I’m gone.”

  “Oh, I didn’t even think to check your travel schedule,” she admitted. “But that’s a good idea. We should definitely coordinate stuff like this.”

  “What happens in L.A.?�
�

  “Meeting with my agent, my lawyer, and the record label. There’s a lot going on and they’re going to fight to force me to finish out the tour, but I’m going to do everything I can to get out of it.”

  I watched her curiously. “You’re not done with music, are you?”

  “God, no, but I want to go solo, do my own thing. I’ll buy out my contract if I have to. I’ll be broke, but that’s okay. I can live with my dad and I’ll still get some royalties, so I’m not worried.”

  “You can also live with me,” I said. “I really don’t want to have to get up and drive places to see you.”

  “You think?” She looked a little dubious.

  “Why not? Is living apart going to do anything for us? We already know how we feel about each other and we’ve lost enough time together.”

  She searched my face, myriad emotions flitting across hers.

  “What?” I asked. “Come on, tell me. No secrets.”

  “Are you sure you’re prepared for the crazy I’m about to bring to your life? You say you are, but I don’t think you’ve dealt with this level of insanity. We won’t be able to go anywhere or do anything without people following us, watching us, trying to get close to me. You’ll never have a moment’s peace. Believe me, I know.”

  “Let’s start house-hunting,” I replied without missing a beat.

  7

  Lexi

  “You want to…buy a house together?” I asked, staring at him.

  “Why not? We can buy a place in a gated community and make sure we have plenty of security so most of your concerns will be moot.”

  “Zaan, I don’t know my financial situation right now,” I said softly. “I know you make plenty of money, but I need to feel comfortable about what we’re spending together.”

  “You think money matters to me? Neither of us had shit when we met.”

  “You had a nice six-figure contract,” I said, chuckling. “I had nothing but a rich dad.”

  He chuckled too. “Okay, I guess I did, but it didn’t feel like it and it doesn’t matter that much, does it? It’s just money. I can support us.”