ZAAN (Sidewinders: Generations Book 1)

by Kat Mizera

  “I know.” I threaded my fingers with his. “But I’ve been on my own for more than three years now, so it’s a little jarring to go from being on the road touring the world to living with my dad. I’d like to get my shit together first, okay?”

  “You’ll be living with the man who loves you more than anything,” he said softly. “It’s not the same as living with your dad.”

  “Okay, I’ll move in, but let’s talk about buying something after my meeting with the record company. Please?”

  “Of course.” He kissed me lightly. “Whatever you want.”

  “What I want,” I said, tugging at his T-shirt, “is to get naked. Dad and Mack won’t be home for hours.”

  “Well, in that case…” He bent his head and kissed me deeply.

  We wound up staying at my dad’s that night and Zaan was up and out early, heading to the arena. There was a game tonight, and he’d decided to go home after the morning skate so he could rest and nap. I was staying here for the day, packing up my things. I’d left most of my stuff here while I’d been touring. I didn’t have much since my suitcases were still with the band, but I had enough to keep me going. Management had told me they weren’t shipping me anything until we came to an agreement about the rest of the tour, so I was going to have to suck it up.

  I had a couple of pairs of jeans I loved so it was easy to order several pairs in my size, and I was so glad to have them arrive today. I didn’t want to spend too much, though, because I didn’t know what was going to happen with my contract. I’d made decent money the last two years, and had put a bit away, but nothing like what Zaan made. With profits being split four ways in the band, plus the expenses of being on the road nonstop, and the record company not allowing me to write more than half of our songs, I didn’t have nearly the money I should have had. Normally, I didn’t worry about it because I didn’t have expenses. I didn’t have a home, car or bills beyond my cell phone, or I would have been in a much worse situation, but it still bothered me a little.

  Money wasn’t something that was an issue between Zaan and me. At least I didn’t think it would be, but this was about me, and my personal parameters of success. Zaan and I loved each other and if the opportunity to sing for Special Kay hadn’t come up three years ago, we’d probably be married now. So it wasn’t about him supporting me so much as me being able to contribute. I wanted to share everything with him while also being self-sufficient. I wasn’t sure if that made sense, and we’d definitely talk about it some more, but for now I needed to wrap my head around everything.

  My phone buzzed and I stared at Casey Hart’s name on the screen with surprise. She was the lead guitarist of a band called Pretty Harts, one of the hottest rock bands in the world, and we’d toured with them for about eight weeks. Their drummer was my old boyfriend Declan, who went by the name Bash professionally. Casey had recently married the king of an eastern European country and I hadn’t talked to her in ages, though we’d gotten close while on tour.

  “Casey, hi!”

  “Hey, how are you doing, kiddo?”

  “I’m hanging in there,” I murmured, sinking onto my bed. “But congratulations on your wedding!”

  “Thank you. Did you know we’re having a baby?”

  “What? Already?” I laughed.

  “Oh, girl, please. Baby’s due in July. I got knocked up months ago.”

  “As long as you’re happy.”

  “Beyond happy. He’s always been the love of my life. All those years he was in exile I thought he was dead…” Her voice trailed off. “Anyway, having him back is literally all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “Has it been…hard?” I asked softly. “I mean, getting back together with someone you loved once but have been away from for a long time?”

  “Yes and no,” she replied thoughtfully. “I mean, not the personal stuff. When it’s just us, it’s like we can pick up right where we left off. The rest is hard sometimes. Our blended families and the children we didn’t have together, the pressure of being in the spotlight as part of the royal family, and of course the fact that I’m pregnant while he’s working a hundred hours a week, trying to be both the king and President of Parliament.”

  “Sounds overwhelming,” I said honestly. “But your love…the way you feel about each other and the life you want to have, it’s worth it, right?”

  “Oh, god, yes. He’s everything to me. I never really got over losing him, and now that I have him back, well…yeah.”

  “That’s good to know.” I took a deep breath and told her about Zaan and me. She knew a little of the history, since we’d spent time talking while on tour, but not all of it, and she probably hadn’t heard that we were back together.

  “That’s wonderful,” she said. “Why don’t you sound happy?”

  “I’m happy,” I said slowly. “I’m more distracted. I don’t know what’s going to happen at the meeting with the record company about the contract. I’m going to be broke if I have to buy myself out, and that stresses me out. I have Zaan and my dad, of course, so I’m not going to be homeless or anything, but that’s not the point.”

  “No, I totally get it. You’ve been on your own and you don’t want to lose your independence.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’ll make some discreet inquiries about what’s going on, see if I can put a good word in for you, but it really depends on the contract.”

  “I know. That’s what scares me.”

  “Well, in the meantime, I’m heading home to Vegas in a few weeks because I want to have the baby there, not here. I’ll call you when I get to town and we can hang out. How does that sound?”

  “That sounds awesome,” I said. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll make some calls this week and let you know if I hear anything.”

  “Thank you. Talk soon.” I disconnected and sighed. Casey was a force of nature in both the music business and life. She was a badass guitarist and songwriter, a captivating performer and gorgeous to boot. She was business savvy and smart, well-respected in the industry and the kind of musician I aspired to be. She owned a recording studio here in Vegas and it occurred to me I could probably book some time there to work on my own songs.

  But I needed to get through the meeting before I did anything.

  The game that night was fun. Sitting in the section where the other wives and girlfriends sat was always a blast, and though I’d met many of them, I’d been gone for a long time. Once upon a time I’d babysat for Cody and Suze, and their son, CJ, was now thirteen and taller than I was. He sat next to me for a while, asking a million questions about life on the road, and though I was a little bitter about my experiences with Special Kay, I didn’t mind talking to him about the parts I did like.

  “Traveling all over the world is awesome,” I told him. “I’ve seen so many cool things and visited places I might never have seen had I not been on tour.”

  “Mostly all I see is school and hockey rinks,” he said, grinning at me through a mouth full of braces.

  “Well, you have time,” I said. “Tell me about hockey, though. I can’t wait to go to one of your games.”

  “You’ll come to one of my games?” he asked, his eyes widening.

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Well, you’re like, famous and stuff.”

  “And you’re like family, so shut up.” I playfully ruffled his hair and tried to hide my smile when he blushed.

  “Lexi, do you know Chelsea?” Suze nudged me. “She’s married to Nate Calloway.”

  “I don’t know Nate very well either,” I said, shaking Chelsea’s hand. “I met him once, I think.”

  “Chelsea’s a sports and entertainment journalist,” Suze told me, with a teasing wink, “but she’s an honest one, so you don’t have to worry.”

  “Oh, good.” I smiled at the pretty blonde. “I don’t want to have to be on guard when I’m with the team.”

  “Not on my account,” Chelsea said. “By the way, this i
s Everly, Ian’s fiancée, and—”

  She introduced me to more people than I could remember, but I smiled and shook hands, feeling pretty relaxed considering the crazy in my life. No one asked about Special Kay and mostly kept conversation casual. They did want to know what was going on with Zaan and me, so I told them the basics and promised to keep them posted. That seemed to satisfy everyone, and by the time Zaan and I were in the car driving home after the game, I was feeling pretty good.

  “I leave for L.A. on Sunday afternoon,” I told him. “My meeting at the record company is Monday afternoon, so I’ll meet with Tawdra and Benjamin, my lawyer, in the morning and we’ll head over to the meeting after lunch.”

  “We leave Sunday afternoon too,” he said. “So perfect timing. Are you flying?”

  “Yeah, it’s easier than driving. And Tawdra will drive me around in L.A. I’m staying with her because if the press sees me at a hotel, I’ll never get any peace.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “When will you be back?”

  “Not for ten long days.”

  “Ten days, huh?” I gave him a little grin. “We’re going to have to have a lot of sex in the next few days to make up for it.”

  “Sex? Ew.” He pretended to make a face and I smacked his arm.

  “Is that nice?”

  “I’m teasing.” He squeezed my thigh and a little tingle of excitement shot through me. I wanted him all the time, just like when we’d first been together, except now my needs were more immediate. I hadn’t been with Declan long, but he’d taught me a lot about what I liked and even how to pleasure myself. I wasn’t a prude or anything, but my sexual experience had been limited and though Zaan was an excellent lover, we hadn’t been very experimental. I’d done things with Declan we’d never done and I wasn’t sure how to approach that subject. Was that something people did?

  “Whatcha thinking about?” he asked as we got inside and started to get ready for bed.

  “How to ask you something embarrassing.”

  8

  Zaan

  Her cheeks were a little red and I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking about that made her blush. We’d shared everything, from her mastectomy scars to our deepest thoughts to awkward but sincere post-breakup friendship. The look on her face told me this was something else and I reached for her hand.

  “What could possibly be that embarrassing?” I asked her.

  She bit her lower lip and tugged me to the bed, sitting on the edge and patting the spot beside her.

  “I think it’s kind of an unwritten rule of relationships that you don’t talk about your exes much,” she said slowly. “Especially not the good stuff.”

  “Okay.” I had no idea where this was going, but I reached for her hand, as if to reassure her. “But you can tell me anything, Lex. You should know that.”

  “I do, but it’s awkward.”

  “Just tell me.” I lifted her chin with my thumb and forefinger. “I won’t get mad.”

  She smiled. “Mad? No. But jealous, maybe?”

  “Unless you’re still in love with him, I don’t think so.”

  “That’s a big no. Especially since I was never in love with him. I just liked him. And I still like him, by the way.”

  “That’s fair. Shoot.”

  “When you and I first slept together, I’d only ever had sex once. Literally. I lost my virginity just before I had the mastectomy because I wanted to do it one time while I still had boobs.”

  “I remember.”

  “So I knew nothing about sex or myself or what I liked.”

  “I don’t remember it that way, but go on.”

  “With you, everything was wonderful, and this isn’t a complaint, but I…”

  “You and Declan did stuff we’ve never done.” Now it made sense.

  She nodded miserably.

  “Stuff you want to do again.”

  “Yes. And stuff I think I want to try that I haven’t done with anyone yet.”

  “Like?”

  “Anal.” She turned bright red and I chuckled.

  “Are you blushing because you want to get kinky in the bedroom? Babe, I’m all about anything and everything. If I haven’t tried it, we’ll learn together. I like anal, but it’s not my favorite. The friction is intense, and I get off really fast that way, but if you want to try, I’m down.” I brought her hand to my lips and gently kissed her palm. “What else? Tell me everything.”

  “He, um, spanked me.”

  “Yeah? Were you a bad girl?” She was right in that I normally wouldn’t want to talk about her sex life with another guy, but since she only really had experience with one other guy to draw from, I wasn’t going to be a jerk about a guy she’d never loved, considering my own track record.

  “Maybe.” She gave me an impish smile.

  “Anything else?”

  “Nothing else major…”

  “But?”

  “I like it…kinda rough. I don’t mean hitting me or anything, but a little hair-pulling, pushing me against the wall…things like that.”

  I nodded. “So you and Declan were…intense together.”

  “The sex was intense. And that was his biggest complaint, that it was the only thing that was intense between us. The rest was bland, maybe even boring. We had very little in common beyond music and sex.”

  I wanted to be jealous, I really did, but I understood perfectly. It was almost an exact description of the relationship I’d had with the one woman I’d dated for about three months, and she was a nice girl. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She just wasn’t Lexi. And it sounded like Declan was a decent guy too. Just not the guy for Lexi. Thank god.

  “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked quietly.

  She gave me a look. “You had a weird expression on your face for a while… Are you mad?”

  “No. Jesus, no.” I hugged her to my chest, stroking her hair. “I guess I should have realized that you wouldn’t be as shy and inexperienced as you were when we first got together, and honestly, I wasn’t all that experienced back then either. I didn’t want to throw a bunch of new stuff at you in the few days we’ve been back together, but I’m totally down for anything.”

  “Promise you’re okay with this? I would probably die if you talked about other girls, but I didn’t know how else to bring it up…”

  “I promise. We can talk about anything, babe. That’s what love is, and I love you.”

  “I love you too.” She searched my face. “Which is why I was afraid it might hurt or embarrass you.”

  “The only thing that would hurt is if you told me you didn’t love me anymore or that you’ve been faking orgasms.”

  “Oh, hell no.” She laughed, shaking her head. “I’m not even sure how I would do that. Every time you touch me, even the most innocent thing like rubbing my shoulders when we’re sitting at dinner…I start getting turned on and thinking about having you inside me again.”

  “That’s good to hear. Want to try that now?”

  “Being inside me? Yes, please.”

  “But first, maybe you need a spanking.”

  She arched her brows. “Have I been bad?”

  “You talked about sex with another guy. That’s a big no-no after tonight. But you still might need a spanking.”

  She sighed dramatically. “I suppose I do. I’m sorry.” She dropped her eyes, as if contrite, but I knew she was smirking.

  Without warning, I yanked her over my lap and swatted her firm little ass with the flat of my hand. She was wearing jeans, so it couldn’t have much impact, but that wasn’t the point of this. We were finding our way together, discovering each other’s wants and desires, which meant trying new things and, for me, making sure I didn’t hurt her.

  She was running her hand over my crotch, though, nuzzling my erection right through my slacks. I definitely hadn’t hurt her, which made this phase of our relationship a totally new kind of turn-on. I wasn’t all that into spanking, especially since I
was so much larger than she was, but if she wanted it, I’d do it.

  I reached around front to unzip her jeans and pulled them over her ass, taking her thong with them. Her bare little ass was mine for the taking and I smacked my hand against it more firmly this time. Her skin was pale and reddened quickly, so I gentled my touch, taking the time to run my hand over the pink cheeks.

  “Are you wet, baby?” I whispered, sliding my finger between her folds.

  “Can’t you tell?” She was breathing hard and moaned when I slid a finger inside of her.

  “Are you ready for me to fuck you, doll?”

  “God, yes.” She humped my finger, writhing against me, and I pulled it out, almost laughing at her plaintive wail of distress.

  “You don’t get to come until you’ve gotten your spanking,” I said, not letting her move off my lap.

  “Oh, please…” She wiggled, but I held her firmly with a hand in the middle of her back, bringing the other one down on her ass, again and again, until she was so wet there was a damp spot on my jeans.

  “Reverse cowgirl,” I growled, lifting her into a sitting position, facing away from me.

  She sank down on my cock and we both groaned from the intensity. Her back arched and she ground against me, her head tilting back against my chest. Her breath caught and she exhaled each time I thrust into her, our bodies falling into a wonderful if not frantic rhythm.

  “Oh god, oh god, oh god.” Her inner walls clenched around me and then she jerked, her body stiffening as she cried out. My own release raced right through my veins and shot out of my cock.

  It felt like forever before either of us moved, though Lexi collapsed against my chest, a little bit sweaty and still breathing hard. I stroked my hand down her thigh, wrapping my other arm around her waist.

  “You okay?” I whispered.

  “Wonderful. This was so much fun. I came so hard, I might have blacked out for a second.”

  “You and me both.”

  We both sighed with what felt like contentment.