JEGUDIEL: A Deadly Virtues Novel

by Cole, Tillie

  “And you’ve faced them?” Maria slipped her hand into Raphael’s, who appeared to be listening just as closely as the rest of them. He brought her fingers to his mouth and kissed each one.

  Noa nodded. “Some.”

  “But you don’t kill them?” Sela asked, clearly trying to understand how the Coven functioned as a unit. Dinah, Jo and Candace shook their heads, but Noa couldn’t do that and remain truthful. The air around her suddenly became stagnant when no response fell from her lips.

  “Mmm,” Bara said. “Seems the serpent-tongued pink witch might sway toward our way of doing things. Am I right?”

  Noa’s chin lifted, her nostrils flared and her teeth clenched. Her instant reaction was a silent admission. She felt Diel lock his penetrating gaze on her then. Her mind and body were hyperaware of him and his monster, as if she had an inbuilt alarm for any move he made. She had momentarily let her guard down and shown him a glimpse of her closely protected soul. A soul that was tarnished black and red, scarred and battle-worn, moth-eaten and torn.

  When Noa finally looked at Diel, she knew, right then, it was the man watching her, not his monster. But what swept the air from her lungs was the expression on his face—not the look of contempt and vexation he usually cast her way, but a glimmer of interest that appeared like a speck of dust caught in a beam of light. It was the momentary shock of seeing a streak of a murderous stain within her too.

  “Don’t worry, the men I killed more than deserved it.” Noa sat back in her chair, her leather pants creaking as she moved. She tried to push the conversation far away from her and her past. Talking about it only made her crave it, thirst for it … yearn for it. She was already fragile from the dream earlier.

  She was weakening. Minute by minute, in Diel’s presence, she could feel her fight weakening. She masked her inner battle once again to say, “The truth is, we have no real idea of the vastness of the Brethren’s numbers or reach. But from the glimpse we got … it’s a motherfucking empire, not some small, brainwashed rebel army.”

  “You killed them on your own?” Uriel asked, still stuck on Noa and her murderous past.

  Noa tensed. She didn’t want to talk about it. Couldn’t. Her breath came harder, and she felt her darkness’s talons begin to smash at her walls. Only this time they were causing it to crumble, brick by brick, and Noa was helpless against the onslaught. She curled her hands into fists and tried to hold on.

  Awkward silence stretched thin, until, “Our other sister, Priscilla …” Dinah pushed back her box braids, speaking instead of Noa. “Let’s just say she would fit in with you guys seamlessly. Better than she does with us. She’s the most ruthless killer I’ve ever met. No offense.”

  “Interesting. And where is the killer witch now?” Bara asked, eyebrow raised. “Sounds like she’d be a fucking party.”

  “Living like a shadow in the outside world,” Dinah said. “That’s all she told us. Pris feels like we abandoned her when we moved away from her vision of how to take the Brethren down. We focus on saving the abused children, not killing the priests who hold them. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not averse to killing them—the world would be better off without them, and no guilt would live within us if we sent those fuckers back to hell. But, ultimately, we chose charity. We discovered some of the local ledgers on our rescues and used their whereabouts against them. We follow a more pacifist approach to put chinks in their armor.”

  “But not all of you are pacifist,” Diel said, finally breaking his silence. Noa swallowed at the new inflection in his graveled voice. It was the siren’s call again. The tone, the gruffness, the knowing. He knew who she was, what she was. And he was making his move. Beginning the attack to draw her darkness out. To expose who she really was.

  Noa felt her tarnished heart pull toward him, as if her arteries were breaking from her chest and stretching out to entangle with his.

  She was a pendulum, swinging too fast between light and dark: She had to fight his pull. But she didn’t want to.

  Then, when she faced him, there was a new kind of expression on his face too. He was taunting her.

  He was welcoming her darkness home.

  It was an explosion, a fucking supernova inside of her as the walls of her fortress took one last blow from the part of her she had repressed, and it flooded through the opening like a plague, smothering the “good” side of her that she had forced herself to adopt over the past couple of years.

  Noa closed her eyes, fighting back the urge to groan out loud at the orgasmic sensation of darkness returning to its rightful place at the center of her soul, a reverse diaspora. As her denied half slipped back into place alongside the other like they had never been parted, Noa felt stronger. She breathed easier. She felt lighter.

  Noa felt someone watching her. She opened her eyes and found Diel. She found his monster. Noa shifted on her chair, feeling as though a thousand needles were peppering her skin. And when she spoke, only she could hear the changed tone in her voice—it was full-bodied and at full strength. “I guess we all have demons deep down in our souls, don’t we, pretty monster?”

  Diel’s smile stretched wide, showing all of his white teeth. He knew. He saw that she was back. Noa’s heart beat at a furious pace, and she felt hot underneath her leather clothes.

  Noa shifted on her seat. She bit her lip as a victory cry surged throughout her body at the heady feeling of freedom that came from no longer segregating one part of who she was from the other, from not slicing half of her very essence from her body for the sake of resisting a more violent way of life. Light and dark, good and bad—that yin and yang composition of her soul was who she was to her very core. One wasn’t more important than the other. As the pernicious, monstrous side of her fused with the side that made her feel, she was reborn.

  Noa sat back against the dining chair and breathed a clear, deep breath as if she were testing out a fresh pair of lungs. The first true inhale she had taken in years. If Priscilla had been at the table with them, she would have beamed in victory at having her protégé back. At having her little sister by her side—not her sister by blood, but one in understanding, in the shared knowledge that some people’s light was dulled, or in others, completely eclipsed.

  “Noa?” Dinah leaned forward so Noa could see her. Noa could hear the concern in Dinah’s voice. Of course she was concerned. She had witnessed this side of Noa before. Dinah had stood by her as Noa had sliced herself in two for the sake of the Coven’s move to peace and non-violence. But Noa had been in pain every day since, rejecting the half of her that had been cast aside out of guilt and shame.

  No more.

  But Noa didn’t take her eyes off Diel, who had just seen her internal liberation, the monster in him sensing the monster in her. “I’m fine, Dinah.” Noa dug the tip of her nail into the tabletop, gouging out the wood just to feel the stab of pain slice down her finger. “Completely fine.”

  Noa’s breathing came quicker, and she saw Diel’s chest rising and falling in tandem with her too-fast speed. His skin was as flushed as hers felt, and his pupils were blown as she knew hers would be too.

  A throat cleared, but Diel’s and Noa’s gazes were locked, glued together in a fucked-up trance. “I’ve read the ledger,” Gabriel said, addressing the table. The muscles in Noa’s thighs tensed when she looked at the mass of scars on Diel’s neck, and she squeezed them together for some kind of reprieve.

  Diel’s collar began to crackle and his face grew redder, his teeth scraping across his plump bottom lip, bringing the blood to the surface. “We’d love your input on where you think we should start …” Gabriel’s voice faded to a hum of static-laden white noise. Time passed at an ungodly speed as Noa’s eyes stayed locked with Diel’s, tension pulsing like a deep-sea sonar between them.

  The rest of the table simply didn’t exist.

  Diel’s head began to twitch, and Noa snarled in anger at seeing him so imprisoned by that bastard ring of metal. At seeing his treasured monster s
o caged when it deserved to be running wild and free, leaving Brethren destruction in its wake. Noa almost groaned just picturing the beautiful scene: spilled Brethren blood drenching Diel’s skin, and their evil souls hanging like capes around his neck.

  The sound of chairs scraping backward pulled Noa from their mutual reverie. “Noa, we’re done,” Jo said, penetrating the protective wall Noa had built around herself and Diel. Noa took a deep breath, then broke her gaze from Diel and focused on her sisters. Once again, she quelled the darkness in her veins and adopted the “good” side of her she’d exclusively embraced for the past couple of years.

  Dinah caught her eyes as she headed toward Gabriel’s office with him and Maria. “You coming, Noa?” Noa nodded, then turned to Diel, promising him with a single look that she would see him that night in the folly.

  Diel’s nostrils flared, the only signal he gave that he had understood, before he turned and climbed the stairs to the upper floor. Jo and Candace were heading back toward the tunnel to their house. Noa tracked Gabriel, but she was only interested in the item he held in his pocket. A silver keyring that boasted an intricate-looking hairpin key and a small black remote.

  Noa smiled, eyes on the prize, then followed Dinah into Gabriel’s office, closing the door behind her. As she approached Gabriel’s ornate wooden desk, she felt the Fallen’s leader watching her closely. Gabriel was perceptive, Noa would give him that. His obvious instinct to be wary of her was more than warranted.

  Ignoring his scrutiny, Noa pulled out the chair beside Dinah and took her place as the unofficial Coven second beside her. She crossed her arms and waited for the meeting to begin.

  Gabriel had the ledger Dinah had loaned him open on his desk. His suspicious eyes fell from Noa and focused on the book. Maria sat quietly beside him, waiting patiently like the good little nun she had been trained to be. “These names …” Gabriel took in a calming inhale.

  “Are just the lowest-level Brethren clergymen with children in their homes in this area,” Dinah said. Her hands were clenched on the arms of her chair. Nothing pissed off Noa’s sister more than kids being used as fucktoys for the delusional men in red dog collars.

  “It’s their initiation of sorts, to the next level of the organization. To see if they can break a true, devil-born sinner. To see if they are worthy of being part of the elite God squad that is the Brethren,” Dinah added. Noa’s lips curled in repulsion. “There’s more out there. So there has to be some other official record that has more information than this ledger. Factions, sub-departments, the compete hierarchy of the Brethren, from the top of the pyramid to the bottom. There have to be scriptures, gospels and fuck knows what else that they live by. We have no idea where any of that would be, of course. But we believe it’s out there. These fuckers are meticulous in their records, just as the Spanish Inquisition of old were with theirs.”

  Gabriel’s eyes narrowed; a second later, his lips parted around a quick exhale. “You’re thinking of setting a trap.”

  Dinah cocked her head. “If you’ve read the ledger, you’ve seen that they hold a meeting once a month. To welcome new chosen members and host a ritual.” Dinah shrugged. “I thought paying a visit to such a … gathering might be on the cards.”

  Gabriel’s face lost some color. “You plan to kill them.”

  Dinah steepled her hands on the table. “I plan to rescue the kids that they put on display.” The air grew frigid around her. “The kids that they bring to this fucked-up communion to lash and exorcise and sacrifice if their ‘God’ so wishes it.” She painted a smile on her face. “Now, what your men deem to be suitable punishment is entirely up to them.”

  Gabriel nodded. He was an intelligent man; that much Noa could see. Gabriel glanced at Maria. Maria surprised Noa by straightening her shoulders and lifting her chin. “You know that this is our path.” Maria looked at Noa and Dinah. “The Coven were placed into our lives for a higher reason. We have both agreed what for. It must be to defeat Brethren evil.”

  A second later, Gabriel nodded. He got up from the table and moved to a table full of liquor at the side of the room. “Would anyone like a glass?”

  “Let me help.” Noa rose to her feet. Gabriel watched her approach with careful eyes, but she sidled up next to him and laid out four glasses on the bar. Gabriel took the decanter of brandy and began to pour. When the last drop had been dealt and he placed the decanter back down, Noa put her hand on his arm. Gabriel appeared startled at her touch, but she forced a small smile and said, “I just want to say thank you, for inviting us here. And for giving us a safe home.”

  Gabriel paused for a second, but then smiled at her in return. “It’s my pleasure. To find others like us …” He shook his head, his blond curls falling over his blue eyes. “I can’t express what it means.” He sighed, and when he spoke, his voice was laced with emotion. “I thought we were alone.” Noa felt a flicker of that pain in her chest, but when she pictured Diel, trapped and confused in his metal hell in her mind’s eye, it faded to vapor.

  Leaning forward, Noa embraced Gabriel. He stiffened in her arms, but slowly relaxed as she said, “You are most certainly not alone.” Noa pulled back, and before anyone in the room could see, she tucked the keyring she had swiped from Gabriel’s pocket into her own.

  Gabriel tapped her on the arm, then held out two brandy glasses for her. “Do you mind?”

  “Not at all.” Noa took her and Dinah’s glasses back to the table. Dinah’s dark gaze was on Noa as she approached, and it was brimming with suspicion. Noa handed Dinah one glass, then downed the liquid in her own. Her eyes rolled as the intoxicating burn traveled down her esophagus. When she opened her eyes, Dinah was still watching her. Noa smiled wide at her best friend, and she saw Dinah’s eyes narrow.

  Gabriel sat back down at the desk. “Dinah, we have another property on the grounds. A few miles from this manor. I was thinking we could have a look today, to see if it’s suitable for the rescued children. It needs some heavy renovations, but if the space is good, it might be suitable to give to the children as a safe place.”

  “That’d be great,” Dinah said.

  Gabriel drank his brandy. Noa felt someone watching her. As she looked up, her gaze crashed into Maria’s. Maria’s face was angelic. A small smile tugged on Maria’s mouth. Then she sipped at her brandy. Maria sat perfectly straight, just as the Brethren had made Noa and her sisters sit in the Circle.

  The years of monastic training were as obvious on Maria as a bell tower on a church. Yet Noa found herself intrigued by the petite nun. Noa sensed the deep-rooted corruption in Raphael, the sexual sadism he clearly craved—the red ring around Maria’s neck showed her that much. But what intrigued her more about the woman was that she was clearly in love with him. And she let him play out his fucked-up fantasies on her perfectly disciplined body.

  There was more to the timid long-haired nun than she revealed.

  “Do you and your brothers train?” Noa heard Dinah ask Gabriel. She turned her attention back to the Fallen’s leader.

  Gabriel nodded. “Every day. It’s part of our daily routine. We have a gym. Exercise helps them keep focused, keep disciplined. Helps them keep our brotherhood’s covenant.”

  “Then tomorrow,” Dinah said. “Tomorrow we’ll start training together. We need to be a unit—the Fallen and Coven—before we plan any kind of attack on the Brethren together.”

  Gabriel glanced at Maria, then shook his head. “I agree with the idea in principle, but I can’t put you and your sisters in that kind of danger.”

  A cold laugh fell from Noa’s mouth. All eyes were on her. “Danger.” She rose from the seat and moved to refill her brandy. She downed another glass, the heat in her stomach only fueling her excitement for her violent date with Diel tonight. She turned, with a third glass full, to see that Gabriel, Maria and Dinah were still watching her. “You’re considerate, Gabriel. But your men are a haphazard group of murderers at best. They pose no danger to me and my sisters.�
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  Noa’s gaze drifted to the oil painting behind Gabriel’s head. It was of an older man who shared some similar facial features with Gabriel and his brother, Michael. The Fallen had ended up in a government-protected home, with more money than they could spend in several lifetimes, yet they did not know the true strengths of their gifts. Because their respective ways of killing were gifts—devil-created or not, that was of little consequence.

  Their decision to turn their murderous intents on the men who’d wronged them was the beginning of the Brethren’s end of days. Kingdoms would rise against kingdoms—the kingdom of the Brethren-abused versus the Brethren themselves. But right now, the Fallen were a motley crew of too many different styles to be effective as a battalion.

  “A viper on its own can easily be captured,” Noa said, sauntering back to the others. She sat down, smelling the brandy as she ran the glass under her nose. She loved that smell, that burn. “But a den of vipers—no, a nest of differing venomous snakes, all working in concert?” She shrugged. “No one could stop them. They would cut down anyone in their path.”

  Noa glanced at Dinah. Her sister was nodding in agreement. “We may be physically smaller than your men, but we ‘witches’ are organized. We can anticipate every move each other will make, even in battle. My sisters and I are a motherfucking synchronized death squad. The Fallen wouldn’t stand a chance against us. Physical strength and a lust for killing mean nothing if they can’t use their talents cohesively.”

  Gabriel sat back in his chair, interlacing his hands over his stomach. Noa could see the apprehension on his face. But she was right. He knew it. They were brothers. A codependent little group, just like the Coven. They were all each other knew. But they killed separately. They were super-soldiers without a unit, or even a commander.

  “You gave them a life they could thrive in,” Dinah said, appeasing Gabriel and taking up the mantle of Coven leader once more. “But you’ve only just turned onto a new path from the one you traveled when you escaped Purgatory. And you need to retrain, completely shift your MO if you’re going to succeed.” Excitement flashed across Dinah’s face. She was a born leader and loved a challenge. “Give your brothers to me in regard to fighting. By the time we’re ready for the attack against the Brethren, we’ll be a force to be reckoned with. The Brethren will never see us coming.”