JEGUDIEL: A Deadly Virtues Novel

by Cole, Tillie

  Gabriel closed his eyes, and his mouth moved in prayer. The key and remote to Diel’s collar burned in Noa’s pocket. She glanced at the clock on the wall. She was getting closer to meeting him in the folly, and she could hardly fucking wait.

  Gabriel opened his eyes, then at a subtle nod from Maria, he said to Dinah, “Make them unstoppable.” Gabriel swallowed, and to Noa’s eyes it looked almost painful, like everything within him was trying to stop him from speaking his next words. “If the only way to stop the Brethren is to see them dead, then may it be them who meets God first, not my brothers. I won’t see us destroyed. Not after everything we’ve fought to have.”

  Noa felt a pull in her gut at the strain on Gabriel’s face. She glanced between Dinah, Maria and Gabriel and, in that moment, saw them as one and the same. Gabriel then addressed Noa. “I know you believe them inferior fighters to yourselves. That may be so, but please be careful tomorrow. Some of them are more violent than I think you know.”

  Noa smiled wide. “Oh, I hope so.” She leaned forward. “I want to see them all for exactly who they are. Every fang and drip of poison they possess—the cobras, the vipers, the mambas and the taipans. All the toxic venom they can bring.”

  Noa’s thoughts immediately drifted to Diel. She wanted him unleashed most of all. She wanted to see her pretty blue-eyed monster in all his deadly glory. After tonight, she never wanted him to hide any part of himself ever again.

  “And you?” Dinah asked Gabriel, bringing Noa back into the here and now.

  Gabriel sighed. He seemed to understand the vague but loaded question. He shifted his legs, like something had just bitten into his thigh. His spine was rigid and his mouth grew tight as if his body was working through the pain. “I will fight too.” Gabriel’s hands were white-knuckled on the arm of the chair as he spoke. Maria’s hand gently covered his, and he seemed to pull himself together. The priest was hiding something. Noa knew it. She didn’t know what. But it brought him pain. Whatever it was, it caused the priest to be in the utmost discomfort. “If my brothers fight, I will be fighting right beside them. That has always been our way. I will train with you all tomorrow. And I will also yield to your instruction.”

  Dinah nodded. Gabriel drank the rest of his brandy in one quick swallow. When he placed the glass back down on the table, he spoke to Dinah. “Let me take you to the old groundskeeper’s home. If you think it would be big enough for the children, we can start making arrangements for the renovations, and their permanent move here.”

  Dinah stood, and Noa could feel the excitement dripping off her sister. Dinah only ever wanted the children cared for and educated, a place for them to simply be safe. “Noa? You coming?”

  “No,” Noa said. “You go ahead.” Dinah nodded slowly. She wore a suspicious expression, but, too eager to see the kids’ potential home, she and Gabriel left the office. As Maria stood to follow them too, Noa asked, “He strangles you? Raphael.” Maria froze, a bright blush instantly coating her pale cheeks.

  “Not to cause me pain,” she replied after a few silent seconds, her voice steady. Noa tried to assess the small woman, but she was difficult to read. Noa went to ask her more, but Maria beat her to it. “My relationship with Raphael may not be the norm—far from it. But I love him beyond words, and he loves me.” Her chin lifted high, proud to love a killer as she did, and Noa nodded in approval of Maria’s fight.

  Maria went to leave the room but paused beside Noa. Maria’s blue gaze fell to Noa’s dark brown stare. “None of the Fallen men are as tough as you may think—” Maria shook her head. “I apologize. You have been put through unspeakable things too. I have no right to cast judgment your way or even assume anything about your past.”

  Noa raised her eyebrow. Maria sighed. “What I am trying to say is I have been around them all long enough to know some of who they are. And I know Raphael inside and out. He and his brothers may be hardened by the abuse they faced, may use their love of killing to show the world that they are tough and strong and need nothing from anybody. But inside … deep down inside, they are still the hurt little boys who were orphaned, then plunged into an unimaginable hell. By people who were meant to protect them.” Maria’s heavy-weighted but softly spoken words pulsed in the air around them.

  Then Noa flinched as Maria covered her hand with her own. Noa stared at that pale hand holding hers and felt something in her heart begin to crack. She quickly stopped that crack before it could get too wide and rip her chest open. Noa yanked her hand back and placed it on her knee. Maria didn’t seem offended by the refusal of her attempt at kindness.

  “I am here for you too, Noa,” Maria said. “For all of your sisters. I do not know what you went through at the hands of the Brethren, but I know what it is to be taken from your family and hurt by people who have nothing but wickedness in their souls.”

  Maria smiled, and Noa felt that genuine smile like a punch to the gut. “Even if all you need is silent company or an ear to listen to your troubles, I’m here. It’s nice to have sisterhood back in my life.” She pushed back her extremely long hair. “I may not be a practicing novitiate anymore, but I still take my teachings seriously. I still live to serve, albeit on a road rough in terrain and far less traveled. But there is nothing you could confess that could turn me from you. If you are to be part of our family, I want you to know that my door is always open to you. This is an estate filled with survivors, warriors who have made it through a bloody war.” Maria’s gaze shone. “But not even the strongest among us can fight through something like that and not be somewhat wounded. Talking can help.”

  With that, Maria left the office … and sent Noa reeling. Had anyone in her life ever offered her anything simply out of the goodness of their heart? Noa’s eyes closed as she tried to calm her thundering pulse. But not even the strongest among us can fight through something like that and not be somewhat wounded. She felt her hand shaking on her thigh and gritted her teeth when a flash of a memory came barreling into her mind … Noa, sitting on an older woman’s lap, tarot cards spread around them, a fragrant cup of tea in her hand, and a blazing fire before them, keeping them warm.

  An ember of the warmth from that fire broke from Noa’s memory and flooded her body. She smelled lavender and patchouli drifting around her like a soothing aura. She saw the moon full and blue and high in the sky, felt fresh grass under the soles of her feet. There was soft, rhythmic chanting around them, and then the woman began to sing about the wind and rain. But the warmth in Noa’s body cooled as that softly singing voice cut to a deafening scream, filled with pain and fear. Then came the low tone of violent male voices …

  Noa opened her eyes and jumped to her feet. Her breathing was erratic, and her chest felt as though a crater had been carved into the flesh. She shook her head, expelling the unwanted feelings from her body. As they had been so many times before, the cracks that had managed to fissure inside her were covered with granite and stopped dead in their tracks. Noa turned to the door, but as she did, she felt wetness on her cheeks. She lifted her hand to her face.

  Tears.

  Tears were useless, a pathetic sign of weakness. So Noa straightened her spine, took a deep breath, and wiped those tears dry.

  Chapter 11

  Noa didn’t notice if it was warm or cold as she fled the housekeeper’s home in the cover of darkness. She had sneaked out, unseen, and trudged over the manor’s vast grounds. She passed perfectly manicured gardens, greenhouses filled with roses, masses of trees, and private, secluded groves until she finally saw the man-made lake Diel had told her about. Flutters invaded her chest as her eyes landed on a fairytale building just beyond it.

  The folly.

  Noa smirked. Diel had chosen a building suitable for weddings and romance and the confessing of true love for their confrontation. But all they would be bringing was violence and pain and the facing of their inner demons.

  Noa’s long pink hair blew around her face, creating a momentary veil. She had left it free
from the braid tonight. She wore top-to-toe leather and clutched Gabriel’s stolen remote in her hand. It felt like fire in her palm, but its freedom flooded into her veins.

  She could almost taste it, the indescribable sensation that came from such freedom. The sense of liberation she’d felt when she pushed her knife into the heart of a Brethren priest who had hurt her as a child. Watching the life drain from his eyes, pulling her scarf from her face so he could see exactly who had come to send him to hell.

  The lake rippled as she walked along its perimeter. The full moon reflected off its black surface, and a fountain lay dormant in the center. The statue looked like a stone mermaid holding a man in her hand—a lover, perhaps? Noa stopped when the image became clear, and the smirk she had been wearing spread into a wide smile. No, it wasn’t a mermaid holding a lover, but a fang-toothed siren with long wavy locks and bare breasts dragging a screaming, terrified sailor to the sea’s watery depths—it was more than apt. Whoever had built this manor Noa now had much admiration for. She idly wondered if it was the man in the painting in Gabriel’s office. She recalled his eyes; there was a darkness lurking in their depths.

  The sight of that savage siren only bolstered her mood. Her feet quickened on the manicured grass beneath her heavy black boots. In minutes she arrived at the folly’s entrance. It was made of gray stone and was swathed in green ivy. The folly had two circular turrets on either side and an imposing wooden door. There were gargoyles on the ledges, and intricate sculptures of flowers carved into bricks here and there.

  Noa reached for the doorknob, and it turned under her hand. Either Diel was already here or he had opened the building earlier that day in preparation for their meeting tonight.

  Noa slipped inside and descended the stairs before her. Lights had been lit, and she squared her shoulders as she stepped into the main body of the building. The folly wasn’t big, and Noa could see every part of it. As Diel had said, it had been fashioned into a training ring of sorts. Both dummy and real weapons hung on the wall. But despite the training additions to the old building, some of the original features still remained. The large hearth on the main wall raged with flames.

  They danced before Noa’s eyes as she took calming breaths, her body prepped and primed for the fight that was about to commence. The impressive heat kissed the skin on her face, and the smoke began to sink into the strands of her hair. Noa closed her eyes and took a deep inhale. On her third exhale, she heard the door to the folly open behind her, and she smiled.

  He was here.

  Noa turned and stood dead center in the room, chin high, waiting for Diel to walk through. She slid the keys into a hidden pocket … then Diel appeared at the entrance. It felt as though he filled up the entire alcove.

  Noa’s heart fired into a sprint and her lungs sucked in extra air at the sight of him. He was dressed in dark jeans and boots, and nothing else. His chest was bare but for his Fallen brand, his mass of scars and his collar. His dark hair was mussed, and random locks fell across his forehead, failing to conceal the bright blue eyes that had immediately captured Noa in their trap.

  Noa’s legs clenched together as he slowly descended the staircase, his head ticking as man and monster fought for dominance.

  Not long now.

  The wind blew outside, sneaking down to the hearth, whistling as it escaped into the room. Diel’s collar crackled, anticipation clogging the hot air. Noa’s gaze traveled over every inch of him. He was magnificent. Broad and toned and filled with the hedonistic promise of death. Nothing excited Noa more than life and death hanging in the balance.

  The unknown.

  “You showed,” Noa finally said. The logs on the fire hissed and spat as they burned behind her.

  Diel smiled, and Noa felt her stomach flip. He really was such a handsome, impressive killing machine. His head jerked. “I wanted to see you.” His voice was deep and graveled, and Noa knew she was speaking to the monster at that moment.

  She took a single step forward. The veins in Diel’s muscles protruded, and his neck tightened with strain. Then his smile fell, and Noa knew it was the man. “Stop stalling,” he said. Noa felt just as excited to face him as she had the monster. The lovely monster was tamed; it was the man who needed to be unleashed.

  Diel curled his hands into fists, but his face adopted a mocking expression. “Killer,” he said. Noa took a pause. “Killer, killer, killer,” he repeated, trying to get a rise from her.

  But the taunt fell off Noa like hot blood off a freshly sharpened knife. “You think that offends me?” She took a step backward as Diel moved forward. He stopped in the center of the folly. An ancient iron chandelier hung from the domed ceiling above them, the wind from the chimney rocking its considerable weight back and forth—a countdown to their oncoming collision.

  Noa began to circle Diel’s wide, cut body. There wasn’t an inch of his torso that wasn’t scarred or viciously marked, yet to her his ruined skin was as beautiful as a burnt-orange sunset.

  Noa felt the darker side of her soul clawing to the forefront. She didn’t fight it. She knew which part of her was needed tonight. That part of her needed to be unconstrained in this folly, just as much as the caged monster Diel had fought back since childhood needed to have his jail bulldozed down. By the end of this night, there would be no cages for either of them. Gemini souls finally being embraced and given the respect that they deserved.

  “I am a killer. It’s who I am.” Noa whispered those words to the back of Diel’s neck. She saw his skin bump where her breath had touched him. When she rounded his front, she moved back several steps. “As are you.” She shrugged. “I’m not ashamed.” Her stomach dropped as she said those words. There was a part of her that still carried guilt, such heavy guilt. But she pushed it aside. That guilt didn’t belong in this folly tonight.

  In a flash, and with the crackling of the collar and a jerk of the neck, Diel’s monster rose to the surface. “I like that you kill,” he growled, pride in his tone. Noa saw his jeans begin to tent and his breathing increase in speed. “I like that you tear those fuckers down. They hurt you. They hurt us.”

  Noa smiled at him, feeling the warmth of that protection, the mutual attraction that grew between them. The darkness inside her preened under his myopic attention. “My pretty monster,” she said, voice soft and true. She lifted her hand and stroked his stubbled cheek. He closed his eyes as if he had never experienced affection before. Noa realized he probably never had.

  Diel’s skin was hot under her palm, yet it sent icicles down her spine. “I’m going to need you to let Diel come to the surface.” He shook his head, his hands balling into fists once more. “You’ll be free soon enough,” she promised and met his eyes. “We’ll be together soon. No more being pushed aside.”

  “He’s going to try and destroy you,” the monster said, keeping Diel pushed down inside their shared body.

  “I’m going to save him.” She held her head high. “I’m going to save you both.” Diel’s dark eyebrows fell in confusion. “Trust me, pretty monster,” she soothed. “Trust me.”

  He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Diel the man was staring at her once more.

  Noa stepped back, then widened her stance. Crooking her finger at him, she said, “Let’s begin, shall we?” She grinned, showing her teeth. “Show me what you’ve got.”

  They charged. Noa didn’t know who moved first. One second they were on opposing sides of the room; the next they were two bodies slamming together, the force as blinding as a stellar collision.

  Noa’s breathing was heavy, echoing in her ears, and she twisted around as he reached out to take her in his iron hold. Noa kicked out a leg, knocking Diel back. He turned, fury in his expression, and charged at her again. Noa ducked, her hair a swirling riot of pale pink falling around her body as she did. But before she could twist away, Diel grabbed her by the arm and wrenched her to his solid chest. He wrapped his hand around her neck. Lifting her off the floor, he cut off her br
eathing, then slammed her into the wall of the folly like he had done in the priest’s home when they first met. His face was in her face, his minty breath ghosting across her cheeks.

  “What’s this?” he snarled, his nose pressing against hers. “This is the great fucking Noa, second in command of the Coven? The fighter you boasted about in the Nave today? The one you claimed could take on me and my brothers?” He smiled mockingly, his lips grazing over her cheek, his perceived victory evident in his expression. “You’re weak. And now, I’m going to destroy you.”

  Sucking in as much breath as she could through her closed-off throat, she croaked, “What makes … you think … that I didn’t … want … this … ?” Diel frowned, then pressed his chest against hers, pinning his superior weight against her, suffocating her lungs even further. Noa noted the flash of panic in his blue eyes—the monster inside him was clearly preparing to take his alter ego down.

  Noa lowered her hand, reaching into her pocket to discreetly pull out the key and remote. Diel didn’t see her hand move, too locked in the internal fight with his monster.

  He gasped, the man managing to hold on to the control, and squeezed her neck tighter. Noa’s tiptoes scraped the stone of the floor. All her energy was being used on staying conscious, but she fought her darkening vision to thread her hand into Diel’s black hair. She edged him closer toward her until his forehead touched hers. “Try to seduce me all you want,” he growled. “I will never release you.”

  “No,” she whispered back, then brought the key to the back of the metal collar, pushed it into the small hole and turned it clockwise. “But I … will … release … you.” Before Diel even knew what was happening, the collar split apart and fell from his neck. Noa clutched the discarded metal in her hand.