by Terry Towers
Who in the hell could I get to help me?
My brother, Wade, was the numbers guy. He loved math and physics, but he wasn’t here.
Then it occurred to me Evan had told me that his first five years with the Army he’d been in the infantry, but had recently switched over to becoming an engineer. Electrical, I think it was. It occurred to me that an engineer would most likely have a head for math. Suddenly the “D” that had previously stood as a source of anxiety for me seemed like it might be one of the best things that could have happened. I would never have done something as silly as intentionally bombed the test, but I could make a negative into a positive. It gave me an excuse to see Evan again, friends helped friends in need – right?
~*~ TT ~*~
“Thanks so much for helping me. I am such a disaster in this class. It’s killing me. This was my first test in that class and as you can see, it’s kicking my ass.” I pushed hair out of my eyes and shifted slightly, accidentally bringing myself a little closer to Evan on the kitchen bench. Okay, perhaps not so accidentally. Now that I’d decided to put myself out there and attempt to get Evan for myself, it was time to do what it took to make sure it was me that Evan wanted and not Carrie.
“No problem. It was one of my best subjects in high school and then in college.”
“So, it was a no-brainer that you were to go into engineering then.”
He smiled. “Pretty much. I stayed in the infantry for the first five years of service to feel what it was like to be on the ground floor. When I was younger, it was exciting and a way to serve my country. But I did my time, I’m getting older and once I got my diploma and my first contract with the Army was up, I made a deal with them and switched trades to remain in.”
“Do you want out eventually?”
“Nah. I’ve worked hard to climb the ranks with the speed that I have and plan to continue climbing. I plan to do twenty years. Maybe even thirty, if they’ll let me. I love what I do. I’m pretty content where I’m at currently. Being a soldier is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to be.”
I nodded; the story sounded familiar. “My father joined after he graduated from UCLA. And he’s still going strong.”
“He’s aged well.” He returned my grin before pointing to a yellow box in the book. “Okay, so do you understand this? Do you know how to solve this equation?”
He was a slave driver. If his work ethic was as solid in his career as it was with me and my classwork it was no wonder he had done so well and so quickly. We’d been at it for close to an hour and he seemed to be still going strong. He really seemed to love this stuff. With a groan, I refocused my attention back to the mathematical equations before me for the next forty minutes, managing to learn something and get a better grip on the material, despite the intense and distracting attraction I was feeling for him.
“This is actually starting to make sense now.” And it was. “If only human attraction were so easy to understand, getting a guy wouldn’t be so hard,” I commented without thought, temporarily forgetting with whom I was studying. I could feel my cheeks growing warm from my embarrassment and prayed he wouldn’t assume I meant him. I wanted to stay at least a little aloof; my mind was still whirling trying to figure out if he was feeling what I was.
“You’ll figure it out in time. Besides, some guys are easier to understand than others. Men are hardly as complicated as women are.”
Looking up from the book, I found myself fascinated by the way his brown eyes had darkened; for the first time, I noticed there were specks of gold in those sexy brown eyes. “Yeah, right.”
He nodded. “It’s true. Not every guy plays games. Most outgrow that crap as they get older.”
“Not according to my sister,” I responded. “Felicity has had a pretty bad track record. In her mind men are the enemy.” I laughed; I’d always thought she was full of shit and just jaded due to her bad decisions, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Evan shrugged. “Maybe she just hasn’t met the right guy yet. Or just dating the wrong ones.”
“Maybe she never will. She seems to have a particular type and it usually goes the same way.” I frowned, my stomach clenching as I remembered how it had felt to see Carrie flirting with him, knowing that I really had no right to object. If Carrie was his friend and only a friend then if I wanted to be with him, I’d have to endure him hanging out with Carrie. The thought made me feel particularly glum. The jealousy would eat at me, which wasn’t a good thing. “Maybe no one ever does, or when you feel like he’s the right one, he still wants someone else.” The statement pierced my heart, making me visibly wince.
Evan swore softly. “Don’t waste your time feeling bad over your ex-boyfriends. They just weren’t for you and you’re better off without men like that. They’re not worth your tears.”
“I wasn’t–” I broke off, abruptly realizing that admitting I wasn’t talking about my ex might lead to the awkward question of just whom I meant. Looking into his eyes it didn’t appear that he’d caught on. Clearing my throat, I decided to roll with his assumption and I said, “Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t think about Michael. He just really hurt me. Both of my exes did. I’ve only been in two relationships and both times I ended up being the one tossed aside for someone else. It’s devastating.” That was true, but I found the idea of only ever being Evan’s friend even more painful than how I’d felt when I’d been cheated on for the second time.
With a tender motion that sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach, he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’ll find the right guy. When you do, you’ll barely even remember whatever his name is.”
I laughed softly. “Yeah.” I ran my tongue along my lower lip, leaving it glossy as my gaze briefly darted to his mouth. Damn, I wanted to kiss him – better yet, I wanted him to kiss me. His words were so true, but I couldn’t tell him he was right. Much as I wanted Evan, I knew he wouldn’t appreciate me telling him that. Saying anything would ruin our friendship and that seemed to be what he was really interested in with me. One thing I needed even more than a boyfriend was a good friend I could lean on and depend on. With a sigh, I tore my gaze from his mouth and returned my attention to the page of notes I’d made. “Can you help me understand this part?” To both my regret and relief, we got back to work.
~*~ TT ~*~
There was a chill in the air, so I huddled deeper into my fleece vest, layered atop a flannel shirt. Combined with a pair of well-worn jeans and brown Timberland boots, I had the outdoorsman look down. A breeze from the water blew through the trees and rustled my ponytail, whipping it into my face. Taking a deep breath in, I savored the smell of the ocean mingled with the moist earth and rich pine scent of the redwood trees around me. When Evan had suggested hiking this weekend, I’d decided to try something new and was glad I had. My feet hurt in my new hiking boots, but it was a small price to pay to be with him in such a beautiful setting.
“Are you ready for a break?” asked Evan in front of me, turning to glance back at me as we crested the ridge of the trail, finding an open clearing with fire pits.
“Definitely.” I shrugged off my backpack, sighing with relief to sit on a fallen log. “I’m so out of shape. I had no idea how much until now.”
He eyed me seriously as he removed his top-of-the-line camping pack. “You don’t look out of shape. A five-mile hike is a lot for anyone, if you aren’t used to the elevation or hiking.”
“That it, I’m not. I haven’t been hiking in years. Haven’t seen a gym either; perhaps it’s time I started working out. My father used to take us camping, but Mom always hated it and insisted she wasn’t going anymore when I was a child. My stepmother is of the same opinion. After that, us kids got to choose if we wanted to go or not.” I grinned. “I was always a not. I preferred to curl up with a good book on the patio rather than sleep in a cold forest fending off mosquitos and other pests.”
I watched as he spent a few minutes arranging branches to start a small fire before sitti
ng down beside me. The blaze brought welcome warmth to the chill in the early October afternoon. “I’m glad you decided to give it a go this time.”
Opening my backpack to take out two granola bars and apples, I offered one of each to my hiking partner. “It’s beautiful up here. A lot of work to get here, but lovely. It was worth it.”
He took the offered food, offering me a metal bottle of filtered water in return. “I love it up here.” Evan looked at me; there was heat in his gaze. “It makes me want things I shouldn’t though.”
My breath caught in my throat. Was he finally going to make a move? “Like what?” Me? Oh please, let it be me.
He shrugged. “I guess a little cabin on the coast, which would mean retiring from the service.” Another shrug. “Maybe a family, someone to sit on the porch with when we’re old and grey. You know, things I’m not really ready for yet. Things that normally don’t appeal to me, but seem to be becoming more and more appealing with each day that passes. Maybe my age is catching up to me.”
“Those are nice things though. That’s what most people want, eventually.”
“Yeah.” Silence lapsed as we admired the striking view together, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I turned to him at the same time he turned to me, our lips so close that I could feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek. “We should–”
“Do you–”
We both stopped in mid-sentence, both of us realizing at the same time just how close we were sitting to each other, and how near our mouths hovered to each other. I licked my lips, swearing that I could feel his mouth with the tip of my tongue when I did so. Our gazes locked, and I shivered at the way his eyes darkened. There was no way that I imagined the desire I saw in his expression; I knew this because it mirrored my own. I wanted him to kiss me so much that my entire body ached. As if acting of its own accord, my body swayed closer to his, making our lips brush each other.
Oh god! A spike of electricity shot through me, making my pussy clench in anticipation of more to come.
He groaned before deepening the kiss for just a second and I melted. Heaven, I had to be in heaven. But before I could further indulge in the touch of his mouth on mine, Evan tore himself away, getting to his feet and turning his back to me as he breathed deeply. I groaned inwardly, pressing a hand to my chest, swearing my heart would pound right out of my chest. Somehow, I managed to regain a shred of composure by the time he turned around to face me. “I’m sorry,” I said, correctly reading the regret in his gaze and desperate to head off his rejection. “I just… That shouldn’t have happened.”
He cleared his throat, looking surprised. “Yeah, that was a mistake.”
I could hear his voice in my head, telling me that we needed to keep things as friends, that he didn’t want to ruin what he had so I forced herself to say it first. “I think it must have been the scenery.” I managed to force a smile to my lips, though it felt shaky around the edges. “You’re a good friend, and I don’t want to mess that up. God knows I’ve lost enough friends over the years.”
Still looking faintly wary, Evan returned to the log beside me, though leaving several more inches between us this time. “I’m glad you feel that way.”
Was he really? I couldn’t be sure, thinking maybe he was feeling as confused as me, but refusing to indulge in the hope he was. If my choices were a friendship with Evan or nothing at all, friendship was still the better option, at least right now. Though if being friends with him called for me having to see him with Carrie all the time, then I may change my mind on this. Still, it was better to be mature about the whole thing, rather than indulge in the tears of frustration I wanted to shed and beg him to kiss me again, to forget all the reasons why we couldn’t have a romantic relationship and lose myself in his arms amid the gorgeous backdrop of the national park and the ocean in the background.
~*~ TT ~*~
Evan
Dropping Olivia off in the darkening twilight, I gave her a casual wave and watched until she was safely inside, with the front door closed behind her, before I shifted the bike into gear and roared off onto the road. My instinct was to rev the engine as high as I could and speed away, anxious to shake off the thoughts that had been racing through my mind for hours – hell, since I picked her up this morning. Instead, I kept my speed reasonable to avoid a ticket or worse. The last thing I needed was trouble.
As I drove to my apartment, my mind insisted on conjuring images of Olivia pressed against me, reminding me of how good it had felt to have her mouth against mine, even for a brief minute. It had physically hurt to tear myself away; my balls felt like they were made of steel and my erect dick was hard and throbbing. Though the one thing that was even more painful than my aching cock was the look of hurt and disappointment in her expression.
All for nothing. If I were to get technical, she was the one who had rejected me, and she’d done it in a very mature and levelheaded way. It was still disconcerting to see how well she had handled the situation. Had I been misreading? Perhaps she was still in love with the man she’d run away from, she just didn’t want to admit it. Yes, that made sense – she needed comfort, we kissed, and it had been nothing.
The problem was that as I thought those things, I knew it was a lie. What made it hard to breathe and was fucking with my head was knowing that it could have been so much more than nothing, and that Olivia didn’t want it to be. But considering the amount of time we spent talking on the phone and texting when we were apart I could have sworn she wanted me as much as I’ve been wanting her. It didn’t matter that she was the wise one and that it couldn’t be more than friendship between us. When it came right down to it, she was still an assignment, one I was becoming dangerously close to failing. If I fucked this up I’m sure the major would make it very difficult for me to continue progressing through the ranks as I currently was. All things considered, it still didn’t keep me from wanting her.
Chapter Six
Olivia
The winds of change had blown through the city over the weekend, while I’d been hiking with Evan. I then spent a lonely Sunday trying to study for an upcoming test and attempting to forget how close I’d been to having Evan more intimately, instead of that brief kiss that only made me long for more.
“Hey Olivia!” I turned to see who the source of the voice was. To my surprise it was one of my friends from before I left for Boston, Kelly Shields. She was one of the people who’d turned on me during the Julie and Trevor fiasco.
“Kelly?” I had to give my head a shake to believe my eyes. This was the first time she’d spoken a word to me for years. Sure I’d moved, but considering there was social media and it took mere seconds to send a text message it wouldn’t have killed her to send me a quick, “How ya doing?” But like all the rest of my former friends, she hadn’t.
“He dumped her.”
My brow creased as I stared at her. “Huh? Who? What are you talking about, Kelly?” I knew who. Who else would it be, it’s not like we had anyone else in common anymore. No one else in her world would be of interest to me.
“Trevor broke up with Julie over the weekend.”
“Oh.” There was a point in my life where that would be welcomed information. I’d prayed for it for a while. In my young heart, years ago, I’d loved Trevor. But when I lost Trevor I’d also lost my best friend so I had no shoulder to cry on. I had no one to call him a bastard and feed me full of ice cream until I gained five pounds and stopped hurting. But that was the past; now, I couldn’t have cared less. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Kelly shook her head as if not believing that I could be so nonchalant over the information. In her mind, she was giving me earth-shattering news, but in my mind, it didn’t really matter anymore. “They were engaged and everything! She’d even picked out the dress and he upped and dumped her for another woman. No warming, no nothing. Can you imagine!”
Ummm, yeah, I could imagine. He’d done it to me.
I shrugged. “Why should I care if they b
reak up, stay together, or join a gang bang? My history with them is exactly that, history. They no longer reside in my mind.” Okay, perhaps I was overstating a bit, considering I’d lost my shit at the movies when I saw them. And it certainly wasn’t because I was hung up on Trevor, it was because of the hurt and humiliation of the experience. I’d been over Trevor for a long, long time, well before I even met Michael upon moving away to Boston. But I wasn’t about to let Kelly know that.
Kelly snorted with laughter. “Trevor in a gang bang. That would be something.”
Okay, maybe I wasn’t completely apathetic to the situation. “I’d buy a ticket to that.”
“Ahhh, I thought it might be something you’d like to know. If for nothing else, the satisfaction. What goes around, comes around and all that. That’s why I tracked you down to tell you. I’d seen you around campus a couple of times and I kept thinking that I should come over and say hi, I just wasn’t sure…”
“No, not really.” Trevor and most recently Michael were in the past. I was now looking to the future, which I was hoping would include a sexy sergeant.
“Well, you might care about this…” Kelly trailed off, arched her brow. “I’m late for class,” she said, motioning for me to follow her, deliberately speeding up her pace moving down the hallway, forcing me to either catch up to her or remain in suspense.
Was I going to take the bait or not… I stared at her back a moment watching the distance between us lengthen. After about ten seconds I broke into a sprint to catch up with my former friend. “Care about what?” I asked in a slightly breathless voice as I finally closed the distance to hit a stride beside her.
