Mean Crush

by K L Wood

  “Wow.” Paige scanned my dress from head to toe. “Derek’s going to have an instant hard-on when he sees you in that.”

  The corners of my reddened lips fanned upward, and a giddy excitement warmed my belly at the thought of Reed—not Derek—seeing me in this. Maybe now he would finally see me as a woman and not a little girl. I smoothed out the skirt. “Ready for pictures?”

  We made our grand entrance into the living room, and both our parents gushed over us. My father winced when he noticed my neckline. “Maybe you could pin that a bit.”

  My mother playfully smacked his arm. “Stop, it isn’t that bad.” She threw her arms around me, being careful not to mess up my hair. “You’re beautiful.” After we released each other, I looked around the room for Reed. He was lying on the couch, engrossed in his Kindle.

  “Reed?” Auntie Jo called out to him. “Don’t they look amazing?”

  He didn’t take his eyes off the screen. “Yeah, amazing,” he said flatly, pissed off about God knew what.

  My heart fell like an anchor to the bottom of my stomach. He really was my “mean crush.” I was stupid to think this dress would change anything. I really needed to get over him and move the hell on.

  But there was a moment the other night when “Just Like Honey” was playing as I lay on his bed. A look in his eyes that reminded me of the Anna Karenina quote. Just one fleeting moment, but it gave me hope that maybe he was beginning to truly see me.

  As much as I loved this dress, I was regretting it. Derek couldn’t take his eyes off my cleavage or stop himself from tracing a finger between my breasts. His reminders of what was coming after the dance were so frequent that I couldn’t even enjoy it. It didn’t help that the music sucked for the most part, and the DJ barely knew any of my requests. It was like he had downloaded a bunch of party pop hits and considered the job done. I wouldn’t have been surprised if “The Electric Slide” started blaring through the speakers. I found out about that horrible dance when I went to my real aunt Tia’s wedding three years prior. Everyone over the age of thirty-five had squealed in delight and participated in the weird ritual like it was some middle-age anthem.

  After about a million selfies with friends and semi-friends, prom night was nearing the end, and Derek practically dragged me out to the limo. The football team had rented out a whole floor of a hotel like it was a wedding party. Everyone who was eighteen checked in, and a few of the players had brought practically enough liquor to stock an entire bar, stuffed into suitcases.

  Paige and I had pink champagne for the party.

  We spent a good hour circulating through different rooms and hanging out. Derek had his arm around me constantly to make sure it was clear that I was his. I drank my first glass way too fast, and the bubbles went straight to my head, so I made sure to nurse the second glass. When Paige and Bryant headed off to their room, Derek flashed me a devilish grin that shuddered right through me.

  “You ready?”

  No.

  “Sure.”

  The palms of my hands suddenly felt really hot and clammy as we walked down the hallway together. I sucked in a deep breath as Derek inserted the key card into the door. An overwhelming smell of baby powder air freshener violated my nostrils. It’d been said that the sense of smell was a powerful memory inducer…and this was not the smell I wanted to associate my first time with.

  The moment the door closed, Derek pulled me against him, and that tongue started probing my mouth like an alien while his tentacles ventured over every part of my body within reach. This kiss was even wetter and slimier than usual.

  I pulled away and pushed him back with my hand. “Would you mind if we take this a little slower?”

  He huffed a condescending laugh like I was a child he had to appease. “Sure.” He took hold of my hand. “You look so hot in that dress, I feel like I’ve been holding back for hours.” He led me deeper into the room, and I looked down at the bed. A neatly arranged blue and gold floral print comforter stared back at me.

  “You forgot the rose petals.” The disappointment in my voice was more than evident.

  “What?”

  “I told you it was my dream to lose my virginity on prom night with rose petals on the bed.”

  He laughed. “You were serious about that?”

  I crossed my arms. “Yes.”

  “Aw, come on, babe. This isn’t about some fantasy. This is you and me.” His smile was softer, and he slid his hands down my arms, reaching for my hands. “Forgive me?”

  I intertwined my fingers with his and nodded. He kissed my lips without tongue this time, and it was so much better. “Feel like some music?”

  “Okay.”

  He pulled out his phone and tapped through it. “Last Hope” by Paramore filled the room. I stared over at Derek in shock. “You like this song?”

  “Not really, but I know you do.” He walked over and put his arms around me.

  “How did you know I liked it?”

  When it came to music, I had to wear earbuds to listen to my own. Since he was the one with a car, he was always in command of the music.

  “I asked Paige for your favorite slow songs and put together a playlist.”

  Not the same as already knowing them, but the thought was kind of sweet.

  His index finger hooked under one of my straps, and he slid it down my shoulder, his tongue skimming across his bottom lip. My stomach fluttered, and I gulped when a hand slipped inside. He grabbed a handful of my left breast and started kneading me like I was dough. He moaned as he moved in closer for another kiss, but I pulled away from him again.

  Derek let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “What’s the issue now?”

  It wasn’t so much the question as it was his tone that seared through my chest. Like I was something he had to deal with in order to get what he wanted.

  “You’re going too fast. Slow down.”

  “What are you talking about? You act like we’ve never been to second base before.”

  “Be Still” by The Killers started playing, and my heart fell. Reed’s face swam before my eyes.

  This was wrong. All wrong.

  I plopped down on the edge of the bed. “Please shut off the music.”

  My shoulders relaxed a little more when the song stopped. Derek sat down beside me and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “This isn’t happening tonight, is it?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  He let out an exasperated breath. “Is this about the rose petals?”

  He really didn’t have a clue.

  “This isn’t working, Derek.”

  “What?” He stood up, glaring down at me. “You’re breaking up with me?”

  “Did you really think this was going to last?” I asked. “We have literally nothing in common except for the fact that our best friends can’t keep their hands off each other.”

  “Something you could have mentioned before I shelled out a couple hundred for this room.”

  “I didn’t plan this.”

  He grabbed his phone and shoved it into his pocket. “I knew I shouldn’t have dated a virgin.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You said yourself this wasn’t going to last. And you’re right, I knew it, too. But I was at least hoping to have some fun before we went off to college.”

  By fun, he meant sex.

  And I’d be kidding myself if I didn’t use him for the same reason. I wanted to have sex. I wanted my first time to be prom night…and Derek was there at the perfect time.

  But Reed came home at the worst time.

  “I’m sorry.” I hugged my arms around my waist. “I’ll split the cost of the room with you.”

  “Just forget it. I’m going back to the party.” He tossed the key card on the bed like it was a few hundred dollar bills. “You can keep the room.” He grabbed his jacket and slung it over his shoulder before storming out of the door.

  Worst. Night. Ever.
r />   Text

  To: Reed

  From: Tabitha

  T: If you’re still up, would you mind bringing me home?

  R: Which hotel?

  T: Briar.

  R: Go down to the lobby. I’ll be there in fifteen.

  6

  Dreams Come True?

  Reed

  If that toolbag touched her in any way that was unwanted, I will tear his fucking head off.

  Tabitha looked incredible in that dress, and all he could see was frigging boobs. I wished her dad had put his foot down. It really was too revealing for that douche to appreciate.

  My foot pressed harder on the gas pedal, my knuckles even paler as they gripped the steering wheel. I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough when I reached the hotel. When I walked into the lobby, my head swung in all directions until my eyes found Tabitha. She was sitting on a floral chair, looking down at her phone.

  Her head rose. Her brown eyes were red, and the makeup she had on earlier was washed off.

  “You ready?” I asked.

  She nodded and pushed herself off the chair. “Thanks for picking me up.”

  I looked down at her dress and her exposed arms. “You have a jacket?”

  She shook her head. I pulled off my hoodie and handed it to her. I only had on an old Pink Floyd T-shirt underneath, but there was a zip-up sweatshirt in the car I could throw on if it got too cold. It didn’t matter. All I was worried about at the moment was Tabitha. She slipped it over her head and rolled up the ridiculously long sleeves.

  As soon as we got into the car, I leaned back in the seat and inhaled a deep breath to keep my anger down to a simmer. “Did he force you in any way to do something you didn’t want to do?”

  “What? No.”

  I let out the air from my lungs in relief. “What happened?”

  She wiped at her eyes. “We broke up.”

  Good.

  “Don’t waste tears over him. He’s an idiot, and you can do a lot better.”

  She stared out the window. “I’m not crying because of him. I just…I imagined this night so differently.”

  She’d been imagining it since she was fifteen years old. I knew what it meant to her. I held back the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear and softly stroke the side of her face. “Did you drink?”

  “Only a glass and a half of champagne.”

  Not too bad, but she wasn’t a big drinker.

  I put the key in the ignition. “Let’s get some food and sober you up before I take you back. McDonald’s is probably the only place open. Is that okay?”

  She forced a smile. “Yeah.”

  We went through the drive-thru and ordered two Quarter Pounders with fries and sodas. She looked through the windshield as I turned onto the road, munching on a fry. “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.” I turned into the parking lot of the Lakeside Villa restaurant and pulled near the back. The place was closed, but they had a few benches and a gazebo scattered over the small strip of lawn that overlooked the lake.

  I grabbed the bag and went to the trunk to get my sweatshirt. By the time I zipped it up, Tabitha had our two sodas in her hands. I led the way to the gazebo. We sat down by the stairs, and she looked up into the sky. The moon wasn’t full, but its light still rippled across the water. I pulled out one of the burgers and handed it to her.

  “It’s nice here,” she finally said. “Do you come here a lot?”

  I swallowed down my bite. “I used to when I was in high school.”

  “Is this some kind of make-out spot to woo the girls?”

  I winced. “Do you really think I’d take you to one of my make-out spots?”

  Her shoulders sagged, and she set down her burger. “No.”

  That wasn’t how I meant it, although I probably should have meant it that way.

  “This is a place I’d come alone, to do some writing and listen to music.” I’d never told anyone about this place, let alone brought them here…until now.

  “A getaway like your lair.” She smiled and reached into the bag for a handful of fries.

  Our lair.

  “You never got caught?” she asked.

  “No. Cops don’t do any rounds in here, and my car stays hidden in the back.”

  “Do you want to listen to music now?” She sipped her soda.

  “Play whatever you want, just not too loud.”

  “I left my purse in the car.”

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket, unlocked it, and handed it to her. “Pick out whatever you want.”

  Within a few seconds, “The Way It Was” by The Killers filled the space between us. She only finished half her meal before tossing it back in the bag. She scooted against the post and tucked her knees to her chest, gazing off onto the water. “What are some other places you want to see when you become a travel writer?”

  The fact that she said when instead of if sent a warmth through my chest. “I want to road trip across the U.S., visit some of the more obscure places most tourists wouldn’t know about…like your moonbow.”

  “You’re really going to go see that?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  She sighed. “I wish I could go with you.”

  An image of her nestled up on a small camper couch reading one of her romances flashed through my mind. I liked the idea way more than I should have.

  “The world is your oyster, Tabitha. If you want to do a road trip like that one day, you can.”

  I finished the burger and threw the box in the bag.

  “Did you read the book I picked out for you?” she asked.

  My stomach knotted, and I suddenly regretted eating as fast as I did. “Yes.”

  “And? What did you think?”

  It reminded me too much of us.

  “I still think romance is cliché, but I get the attraction.” I couldn’t put the damn thing down.

  “I’m not asking your thoughts on the genre. I want to know how you liked the story.”

  I shoved my hands into my sweatshirt pockets. “He was mean. He bullied her in the beginning.”

  “He only did it because he hated that he loved her and couldn’t have her.”

  My shoulders tensed. “Well, Lucy was stupid for falling for someone like that, anyway. She deserved better.”

  “That’s what Cole said.”

  “And he was right.”

  “But he wasn’t. Lucy saw through his tough exterior into who he really was, and he saw her, too.”

  She slipped my oversized sweatshirt over her knees, stretching it out. I didn’t care. I wanted to touch her, kiss her forehead, her eyelid, her nose…those perfect lips. “You remind me of Lucy.”

  She gazed into my eyes. “How so?”

  “You always find the good in everything.” I chuckled. “Even to the point that it’s annoying, but I wouldn’t change that about you.”

  “What would you change about me?”

  Not a damn thing.

  “Don’t change for anyone, Tabitha.”

  “What else do you see?” she asked, biting her lip.

  “Your strength. As kind as you are, you know how to hold your own.” I smiled. “And your mind is always going a mile a minute. Even when you don’t say your thoughts out loud, you’re always thinking, dissecting, philosophizing.”

  She laughed. “Philosophizing?”

  “Not in a pompous way. You genuinely wonder about people and the world.”

  Tabitha tilted her head, her mouth slightly parted. “You see more than I thought.”

  You have no idea.

  The song “Be Still” by The Fray came on, and my heart beat faster. The lyrics reminded me of how I felt about her. I couldn’t give her what she wanted on her prom night, but I could give her a better end than the one she’d had with Douchebag.

  I stood up and held my hand out to her. “Come on.”

  “We’re leaving?” Disappointment hung in her voice.

  “Dance with me.”


  Her hand slipped into mine as she got up, and a rush of something forbidden yet so right swept through my core. I guided her fingers to my shoulder and wrapped my other arm around her waist. I was beginning to regret doing this as she pulled closer to me, closer than her body had ever been to mine. I closed my eyes because it hurt too much to look into her face, her eyes. My light, my sun.

  She rested her head against my chest. “You never said anything about my dress.”

  “It’s beautiful.” I swallowed. “Like you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

  My heart was hammering now. “There’s a lot of things I don’t say, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think or feel those things.”

  She leaned back to look into my eyes. “Why do you do that?”

  “And you don’t do the same?”

  The corners of her mouth rose, and the music softly filled the night air. It was chilly, but all I could feel right now was heat and warmth.

  I couldn’t say it aloud, but I stared into her eyes to let her know I meant every lyric pouring out from my phone. When the song ended, Tabitha still gazed up at me, eyes hooded like she was waiting for me to kiss her. I wanted to explore that mouth so badly, the ache felt like a knife digging into my chest.

  Fuck.

  “We should get you home.” I pulled away, reached down for my phone, and shut off the music before scooping up the McDonald’s bag.

  She grabbed the sodas. “Okay.”

  As soon as her seatbelt was on, she curled up in the seat and shut her eyes, a soft smile on her lips. Instead of sweeping the hair off her face like I wanted, I put the key in the ignition and started up the car.