Marrying an Older Man

by Arlene James

  "All right, almost old enough to be my daughter! That's not the point!"

  She put her hands to her hips. "No, it's not the point, Jesse! Age doesn't have anything to do with this."

  "You're saying that because you aren't old enough to know any better!"

  "I'm saying it because it's true!" Her voice rose alarmingly. "I know you want me as much as I—"

  He shushed her with one eye on the doorway. "Keep your voice down!"

  "I know you want me as much as I want you!" she hissed, hands knotting into fists. "You can't deny your feelings, Jesse, not with me! Not after that kiss!"

  "You let me worry about my feelings!" he hissed back, punctuating it with a jab of a forefinger. "I mean it, Caroline! This has got to stop! I will not...become involved with you!"

  "You are so stubborn!" she said, stamping her foot again.

  "That's right! So just forget about it! Confine yourself to my mother's feelings and forget about mine! This is the end of it. Understand me?"

  She folded her arms, head cocking to one side. "Oh, I understand you, Jesse. Now you understand this! I'm not some teeny-bopper with overactive hormones! I'm a woman with a mind of my own, and I know exactly what—and who—I want. If you just give us a chance, we can be really good for each other."

  "No, we can't, baby," he told her sorrowfully. "That's what you've got to get through your pretty head. I'll never,be any good for you. Never."

  She straightened her spine and looked him square in the eye.

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  "I don't believe that, Jesse Wagner. I don't believe one word of it!"

  It was obviously no use. It was going to be totally up to him : to protect the little fool from herself. If only he was up to it!

  "Hell!" he swore, grabbing his coat and hat.

  She wrapped her arms tighter and narrowed her eyes at him, as if to say that she wasn't about to give up.

  "Hell and damnation!" He crammed the hat on his head and got out of there, slinging on his coat only as he tore out of the house into the cold, gray day.

  That woman was going to be the death of him! How did she get so aggravating in just twenty-one years? How did she get so— No, she was not irresistible. Tempting as heaven, but not irresistible! He wouldn't let himself even think it. Because he would resist the fetching Caroline. He would resist her until she forgot all about him. And then she'd be safe. They'd both be safe. And life could get back to normal again.

  Why was it that normal had never seemed so bare? Or so lonely.

  It took far less careful prodding than Caroline had anticipated to convince Sarah that the beauty makeover was a good idea. Even though Sarah and Haney had kissed and made up Caroline sensed an uncertainty there, a silent worry too personal to be shared, but whether or not that had anything to do with Sarah's

  receptiveness to change, Caroline couldn't be sure. She did not

  doubt, however, that Jesse was ultimately responsible for Sarah's decision to go through with the makeover, and she blessed him

  L for making the suggestion in advance of her own-^even if she did want to wring his neck these days.

  He had gone right back to his polite, charming, very distant old self, as if he had never kissed her and she had not declared herself and nothing had changed. But two could play that game.

  l' Let him think that he had her at a safe distance. She was right here in the same house, and there would be plenty of opportunities to prove her point. Meanwhile, Christmas was coming and Caroline loved her attic room. She would be content for the moment if not for Sarah's brooding.

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  At least Sarah's arthritis seemed less painful for several days after their visit to the springs. She actually managed the Christmas shopping in good time and enjoyed a little window shopping along with it. Caroline talked Sarah into a few purchases for herself and in the process gathered a decent understanding of Sarah's personal taste and private wish list. Then came the appointment at the beauty salon.

  They were like two giddy girls. Caroline went along to pave the way and lend a helping hand. Mostly she helped Sarah decide to do all that the stylist suggested and then held her hand while more than a foot of hair was chopped off, the remaining was shaped, colored a buttery blond highlighted with silver and brushed into a full, classic style that would be easy to maintain. In the end, it swung sleek and straight from a side part to her collar, where it curved under gently, framing her patrician face. It remained long enough to sweep into a short, simple ponytail or a sophisticated twist, the color bringing a glow to her supple skin.

  Sarah was thrilled. She went into the makeup session with heightened enthusiasm. The cosmetician used a touch of plum shadow to bring out the color of her gray-blue eyes, a bit of pencil to darken the natural arch of her brows, and a subtle touch of mascara. A soft blush on her cheekbones accentuated their height. The final touch was a rich pink moisturizing lipstick for every day and a dramatic blue-red for dressy evenings. In the slim jeans and soft pink sweater set that Caroline had convinced her to buy, Sarah looked fifteen years younger.

  "Only my hands look old!" she said in amazement, prompting a lavish manicure that left her with oval, pearl pink fingernails and soft, elegant hands.

  Caroline could hardly wait to show her off. Heads literally turned as they walked down the street together arm in arm. A woman whom Sarah had known the better part of twenty-five years failed to recognize her when they passed by. Then, after Sarah went back to speak to her, she gushed on and on, finally leaving with the name of the shop and stylist and a personal recommendation. Sarah was laughing and gay in a way that Caroline had never seen her. She bought a pair of earrings and a

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  frivolous pair of bedroom slippers before they headed home—and gave Caroline another delicious idea.

  c Half an hour later they were chattering like a couple of magpies while hurriedly preparing dinner. It was almost on the table when Caroline heard the side door open. Excitement sped up her heart, but a glance at Sarah found her calmly arranging tomatoes and sliced onions on a small plate. As footsteps clearly belonging to Jesse moved down the hallway, however, Sarah sent an apprehensive glance at the doorway, then quickly swept off her apron, draping it over the back of a chair. When Jesse arrived, she was poised, placing the plate of fresh vegetables on the table.

  For a long moment, Jesse simply stood in the doorway and stared. Then slowly his jaw dropped and he stepped into the room.

  "Mother?"

  Sarah swept back one side of her hair, then looked at him. Suddenly her face broke into a smile. "You like, huh?"

  Jesse came forward, staring wondrously. "Holy cow!" He began to laugh, then swept her off her feet, swinging her around, his hands at her waist. They were all laughing and he was just setting her back on her feet when Tiger and Handsome crammed into the kitchen together.

  Thek conversation stopped dead as they saw Jesse and Sarah. They looked a question at Caroline, who merely smiled. Assone, they took a second look. As one, they dropped their jaws. As one, they both exclaimed, "Mizz Sarah!" And then they were babbling about the change in her, how pretty she was, how young. They were both touching her as if they couldn't quite believe their eyes, and she was smiling, inclining her head, accepting their compliments with graceful, almost regal, ease.

  "Wow-ow!" Handsome exclaimed as Haney came into the room. Like the others he paused in the doorway. Silence and stillness contained them all. Haney looked around the room, a laild question in his eyes. Then those eyes came to rest on Sarah, and he froze. After a moment he blinked. An instant later he started calmly across the crowded room, the others parting to let him through. He walked straight to her and stared. His strong jaw seemed to soften, his mourn moved slightly. One strong, leathery

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  hand came up and skimmed over her hair as a slow smile creased his face.

  "Looks like that girl I married is still right here with me," he said gently, and Sarah laughed deep i
n her throat, leaning into him. His arm slid around her waist, and he pulled her close, bending his head to kiss her temple.

  The moment was so poignant that no one else seemed quite able to touch gazes, but then Jesse sent a smile and a wink at: Caroline, and she rocked up on her toes, beaming. Tiger thumped Haney on the back, and Jesse turned a grinning Handsome toward' his chair. Suddenly everyone was talking and laughing again as they hurried dinner onto the dining room table.

  "Tell. Tell all," Jesse demanded when they'd all taken their seats, and Sarah did, laughing about the ghastly moment the scissors had first whacked through her thick hair. Caroline described how the look on her face had gone from appalled to pleasantly amazed as the mirror revealed the transformation.

  Haney covered Sarah's hand with his on top of the table, saying, "Never thought I'd be glad you cut your hair."

  Sarah smiled almost seductively, and then she broke the moment by preening comically, tossing back her head and sweeping her hair from her neck with a flick of her hand.

  It became a celebration, laughter and merry conversation making pan-grilled hamburgers, potato chips and barbecued beans something special. Afterward, Tiger and Handsome each kissed Sarah's cheek before taking their leave, and Tiger spared Caroline a conspiratorial wink. Handsome had never warmed up to her after her initial rejection of his flirtatious overtures, but even he nodded in acknowledgment before leaving the room. Haney complimented Sarah on an excellent meal, ignoring Caroline completely, much to her delight. It was Jesse who offered to help Caroline clean up, however, freeing Sarah to accompany her husband to the den.

  Sarah firmly refused, however, and made a big show of pulling on a pair of rubber gloves over her manicured nails before starting the dishwater. She hummed as she did the washing up. When they were finished, she led Caroline to the den, where she stood a moment watching the television before announcing casually that

  she thought she'd take a warm bath and turn in early, it having been an eventful day. Haney said nothing, but he slid to the edge of his chair and seemed to perch there, his attention apparently trained on the television even as his posture indicated a certain impulse to follow his wife. Caroline deemed it the perfect moment to put into motion her latest idea.

  Looking at Jesse, she said evenly,' 'Would you mind if I spoke privately with your father for a moment?"

  Jesse was clearly disgruntled and curious, but he got up off the couch with a slow nod and left the room. Caroline sat down in his place, leaning forward earnestly, her elbows on her knees. Haney looked straight at her.

  "Something on your mind?"

  She nodded. "Sarah and I have had the opportunity to do some window shopping lately, you know, because of Christmas, and I thought you'd like to hear what she's been looking at with such longing for herself. It doesn't seem appropriate for anyone else

  to give her."

  He nodded, hands folded together as he mimicked her pose. "I've kind of had something picked out, but if there's something special she really wants..."

  Caroline mentally crossed her fingers. "It's a peignoir set, you know, a nightgown and robe. Dove gray silk chiffon and lace, full-length. It's really elegant and also rather expensive. She said it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, but she wouldn't spend the money. Instead, she bought herself a pair of matching bedroom slippers. When I held it up to her, the color was just spectacular, and the gown... Frankly, it's a little, well, sensuous. So I thought if you were, you know,- embarrassed to go into the boutique and buy it yourself, I would be glad to do it"

  It was impossible to read his expression, or lack of one. She couldn't tell if he was interested at all until he shrugged and said, "No, I'll take care of it."

  He looked away, and she sat back, telling herself that the rest really was up to him. Jesse reentered the room then, a challenge on his face. She waved him over and curled her legs up beneath her, preparing to turn her attention to the television. He walked to the end of the couch and paused.

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  Haney sat on the edge of his chair, staring pensively at nothing whatsoever. Jesse cleared his throat, and Haney started. Then very casually he rose, placed a hand at the back of his neck and muttered, "1 think I'll turn in early, too. Not as young as I used to be."

  He smiled lamely and moved past Jesse. Just as he reached the end of the couch, he paused and laid a hand on Caroline's shoulder, gripping it lightly. She looked up at him and smiled, satisfied now that she had done the right thing. He went out of the room, moving rather quickly for someone ' 'not as young as he used to be."

  Jesse looked down at Caroline, his hands on his hips. She raised an eyebrow, and a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. Suddenly they both began to chuckle. Jesse sat down in his father's chair. "Can you get over it?"

  "The change you mean?"

  "In both of them," he said. "Mom looks fabulous. Well, I don't have to tell you. You're the mastermind. But somehow Dad seems...rejuvenated, too."

  Caroline put her head back and laughed joyously. "Do you blame him? She's really a very beautiful woman, and he'd have to be half-dead not to catch the lures she was casting out."

  He smiled and came right out with it then. "What was the private confab about, may I ask?"

  Caroline leaned forward conspiratorially and told him. He pursed his mouth, lifted a brow and inclined his head in approbation. "You sly girl, you. What will you come up with next?"

  "Actually," Caroline said, "I have a couple of suggestions for your Christmas list, too."

  "Do tell, Miss Moncton."

  "We saw a four-piece wardrobe set the other day, skirt, sweater, a classy jacket-coat, slacks, all in a perfectly beautiful plum-colored wool blend. It suits her to a T. I know she'd love it She wears an eight, by the way, maybe a ten on top." She gave him the name of the boutique, and he actually took out a slip of paper and a pencil and wrote it down.

  "All right, Miss Christmas Elf. What else?" ,

  She spread her hands. "That ought to do it."

  He studied her a moment and asked bluntly, "What are you going to get her?"

  She smiled. "The hot springs seemed to help, don't you think?"

  He nodded. "I don't think she's cured by any means, but she seems to feel better."

  "Exactly. So I thought, why not the full spa treatment? Really pamper her, you know? Facial, massage, mud bath, manicure, pedicure, steam room, the works."

  "That's pretty costly, isn't it?"

  She shrugged. "It'll be worth it. She'll be a whole new woman by New Year's. Besides, I've had a raise recently."

  "Oh? Funny, I don't remember that."

  "I'm not paying rent, remember?"

  Jesse nodded. "Ah. Still..."

  "It'll be fun. I want to do it. I'll economize with the rest of my list. Actually, I'm a pretty good knitter, so I'm making everything else, and I only have one more gift to finish. So don't worry about it. Other than my school loans and a few small debts, that old heap of mine and some personal things, I don't have much else to spend my money on."

  Jesse nodded reluctantly. "Okay, if you're set on this."

  She hunched her shoulders, as excited as she'd ever been about anything. "I am. I can't wait, actually. She's going to have a wonderful Christmas!"

  He folded his hands in his lap and looked at her. "You really love my mother, don't you?"

  She was surprised. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" Then she shook her head. "You don't know how wonderful she is. She's just the perfect mother."

  Jesse looked down at his hands. "Sometimes you make me feel so unappreciative and clueless."

  She laughed and moved to the edge of her seat, reaching out a hand to swat his knee lightly. "Jesse! That's not true. You do everything for her that you know how to do."

  His gaze was sudden, sharp. "But I'm the one who's had it all, Caroline—mother, father, brother, home, even the ranch. My boyhood was a delight, rich in every way. Yet you're the one

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  who sees every need and takes steps to meet it. And you've had none of those things."

  "That's not true." She inclined her head in partial capitulation. "Okay, my own mother isn't exactly the conventional sort of parent, and we have flitted from pillar to post for almost my whole life, and I've missed having a real family and a real home. But at least I know exactly what I want, Jesse. And look, my mama didn't raise no idiots, as the saying goes. I'm smart enough to know I can have it all and to go after it. Haven't you figured that out yet?"