At the Edge

by Norah McClintock

“Did you invite him?” I asked.

  “No. I swear.”

  Her face was the picture of innocence. Either she was telling the truth or she had evolved into a champion liar. She stood up and called to him. “Hey, James, over here!”

  James turned in our direction, but it took a moment for him to locate us. He smiled shyly when he spotted Morgan and started making his way toward us. Morgan moved over one seat so that he could sit between us.

  “It’s a surprise to see you here,” she said, mostly, I think, to prove she hadn’t known he was coming.

  “Well, I care about the environment,” he said. “And my dad’s been on my case ever since we moved in. He says the only way I’m going to meet people and make friends is if I get out and make an effort.”

  “It must be hard, moving to a new city and having to meet all new people,” Morgan said.

  “It’s not exactly new,” James said. “I grew up here—well, in the west end. We moved away a few years ago, and now we’re back. But I lost touch with most of the kids I used to know, so ...”

  The auditorium lights blinked on and off a few times, a sign that the movie was about to start. Billy stood up on the stage and reached for a microphone. He thanked everyone for coming, talked a little about the movie we were going to see, and said that there would be collection buckets at the doors afterwards so that anyone who was interested could make a donation to an organization that did climate-change work. Then the lights went down and the movie started.

  When it was over, Morgan said, “We’re going out for something to eat, James. Do you want to come along?”

  I glared at her to let her know how I felt about this little surprise. She didn’t flinch.

  “How about it?” she said, smiling unwaveringly at James.

  “Well, I—” He looked awkwardly at me.

  “You want to get to know people better, right?” Morgan said. “So come on. Get to know us.”

  “Okay,” James said. “I just have to make a quick phone call.” He stepped away from us so that he could have some privacy. While we waited, Morgan and I helped Billy collect donations. Billy was delighted when he found out that Morgan had invited James to come out with us. The two of them seemed to have plenty in common.

  We walked a couple of blocks to a vegan restaurant that Billy adored and that made excellent soy shakes. Afterwards, James offered me a ride home.

  “It’s kind of out of the way,” I said. My dad lived farther from the school than my mother did.

  “All the more reason for me to give you a lift,”

  he said.

  “That’s really nice of James, isn’t it, Robyn?” Morgan said, jabbing me with her elbow again. One more time and she was going to leave a bruise.

  I scowled at her.

  “If you’d rather not ...” James said. Great. I was making him feel bad, and he wasn’t the person I was annoyed with.

  “A ride would be nice, thanks,” I said. Morgan beamed at me. I gave her a warning look. But that didn’t stop her from giving me a double thumbs-up when I turned to walk with James to his car. I was going to have to have another talk with her. Nick’s name would feature prominently.

  James’s car had seen better days.

  “It’s not much to look at,” he said apologetically. “But it gets me where I need to go.”

  He followed my directions to my dad’s building.

  “Sorry, what?” I said after we had been on the road for a few uncomfortable minutes. James had mostly been silent, but once, when I glanced at him, I’d seen his lips moving, and then I had heard him mutter something. Had he been talking to me?

  James glanced at me, a startled look on his face.

  “Did you just say something about bread?” I said.

  His cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

  “Bread, milk, and, most important, the decaf?” he said. “Sorry. I just don’t want to forget.”

  “Forget what?”

  “What I’m supposed to pick up on the way home. For my dad.”

  He brought the car to a stop in front of La Folie. My heart raced when I saw Nick standing out on the sidewalk. He was wearing a white apron over black jeans and a white T-shirt. He must be on a break, I thought. I was just about to get out of the car and go over to him when a man and a girl came out of the restaurant. I recognized the girl immediately. Danny. Nick broke into a smile when he saw her. The man smiled, too, and shook Nick’s hand. They chatted for a few moments. Nick seemed relaxed with the man—he must have known the guy for a while. Because of his past, Nick was naturally cautious and mistrustful. It took him a while to warm up to new people.

  “Robyn?” James touched my arm.

  “Huh?” I’d forgotten for a moment that I wasn’t alone.

  “I was just saying that I had a good time. Morgan and Billy are a lot of fun.” He frowned slightly. “Is everything okay?”

  “Fine,” I said. “I was just thinking about something. I’m sorry. I had a good time, too.” I glanced out the window again. Danny and the man were walking down the street. I waited until they got into the same silver Lexus I had seen on the first day of school before I said, “Thanks for the lift.” I got out of James’s car just as the Lexus roared away down the street.

  Nick looked surprised to see me step out onto the sidewalk. He checked out James’s car and ducked down a little so that he could see who was driving.

  “Who was that?” he said after James had pulled away from the curb.

  “Just a guy from my school.”

  “Yeah?” He glanced at the car’s disappearing taillights. “What were you two up to?”

  “I told you,” I said. “Billy was screening a movie at school tonight. I invited you to come.”

  Nick’s eyes hardened. “And when I couldn’t make it, you invited another guy?”

  “No. James just showed up.”

  “And then he drove you home?”

  “Yes, he did. But that shouldn’t be a big deal for you, right? I mean, Danny drove you home all summer.”

  Anger flared in Nick’s eyes. I could see he was making an effort to hide what he was feeling.

  “Well, at least he’s not one of those rich kids,” he said. I had gone out briefly with a guy named Ben Logan whose dad was extremely wealthy. Nick had commented more than once on what it must have been like to be with someone who could afford to take me anywhere and buy me anything. Sometimes I thought he didn’t believe me when I told him I didn’t care about money.

  “Didn’t I just see Danny leave—in her Lexus?”

  Nick bristled. “It’s her dad’s car.”

  “Is that the man who was with her?”

  Nick nodded.

  “So Danny and her dad just happened to come to La Folie tonight, when you just happened to be working a last-minute shift?”

  “I’ve been telling Danny about the place. Her mom was at some charity thing tonight, so she and her dad came for dinner. He’s a really nice guy.”

  “It looked like the three of you had a terrific time.” And yes, I know how I probably sounded—angry and jealous.

  Nick’s expression softened a little.

  “I didn’t have dinner with them, Robyn. I’ve been in the kitchen all night, working. I just talked to them for a minute on their way out.”

  “When do you get off?” I said, suddenly feeling childish at the way I had reacted.

  “Not ’til after closing.”

  I groaned. La Folie’s kitchen closed at midnight, and then Nick had to do cleanup.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he said.

  “Okay.” And it really seemed okay, especially when he kissed me lightly on the cheek before darting down the alley and letting himself in through the kitchen door.

  N

  ick called, as he had promised, but not until midafternoon.

  “You want to come up here?” I said.

  “I just woke up,” he said, “and I have a ton of homework to do before I have to be a
t the mall.”

  “Okay. I’ll come down and keep you company.”

  There was a moment’s hesitation before he said, “I really have to concentrate.”

  “I’ll be quiet, I promise. I’ll bring my homework. We can work together.”

  “Okay,” Nick said. He didn’t sound nearly as enthusiastic as I would have liked.

  I gathered up my things and went down to his apartment. Nick was dressed but barefoot, and his hair was sticking out in every direction like he’d been struck by lightning. Textbooks were spread all over his small kitchen table. He sat down and bent over them. I made some room for myself.

  “Are you hungry?” I said after a couple of minutes. “Want me to make you something to eat?”

  He looked up from the textbook he was reading.

  “No, it’s okay,” he said. “I had some cereal.”

  He started to read again. His face was so serious.

  “How about some tea or hot chocolate?” I said.

  “No, I’m okay, thanks.” He didn’t even look up this time.

  I opened my history book. I had a whole chapter to read and make notes on. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nick. I had barely spent any time with him since I’d come back from up north. I missed him.

  “Let’s take a break,” I said. “We can take Orion for a walk.”

  Nick’s eyes flashed with annoyance. “I told you, Robyn. I have to get this done. But I can’t concentrate when you keep interrupting me.”

  “Sorry.” I forced myself to read a few paragraphs. Then: “It’s just that I never see you anymore.”

  Nick’s head bobbed up again. “Maybe it’s better if I study alone. I’ll get it done faster.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said again. “I promise I’ll be quiet.”

  Nick stood up, exasperated. “You want to do something helpful? How about if you take Orion for a walk? Otherwise he’ll be cooped up in here all day.” Without waiting for an answer, he retrieved the big dog’s leash from a hook next to the apartment door. As soon as Orion heard the jingle of the chain, he started to bark excitedly.

  “Come with me,” I said to Nick.

  “I can’t.” He snapped the leash to the dog’s collar. “You be good for Robyn,” he told the dog. “No chasing squirrels.”

  Over by the couch, his phone rang.

  “Now what?” Nick said. He handed me the leash and dashed into the living room to answer the phone. He growled a gruff hello, and I felt sorry for whoever was on the other end of the line—until his expression softened and he said, “Danny, hi. No, not much. Just trying to get my homework done.”

  Danny again.

  She must have said something funny, because Nick laughed.

  “No, I’m not kidding,” he said. “I’m really doing homework.” He glanced up and seemed surprised to find me still standing there. He covered the phone’s receiver. “I’ll see you when you get back,” he said. “And make it a nice long walk, okay, Robyn? I haven’t been able to take him out as much as I’d like to.”

  I was fuming as I made my way downstairs with the dog. Nick had been impatient with my interruption but not with Danny’s. He was happy enough to have me walk his dog and pick up after him, but he never seemed to be able to find time to spend with me. It wasn’t fair. And he didn’t even apologize when I brought Orion back an hour later.

  “Homework done?” I said.

  He nodded.

  “So now do you want to do something?”

  “I’m working today.”

  “You don’t start for hours.”

  “I have to go by Danny’s place first.”

  “Danny’s place? Since when?”

  “Since she called me. Her dad is having some people over for a barbecue this afternoon. He invited me. Don’t give me that look, Robyn. This could be good for me. He wants to introduce me to someone.”

  “Who?”

  “He has a friend who’s a vet.”

  “A veterinarian?”

  Nick nodded.

  “Is something wrong with Orion? Is he sick?”

  “No, but ...” He shrugged awkwardly.

  “But what?”

  “I mentioned to Danny over the summer how I was kind of thinking how cool it would be to be a vet—”

  “Since when have you been thinking that?” I said. It was the first I had heard of it.

  “For a while.” He sounded defensive. “I didn’t say anything to you about it because my grades haven’t been that great. You need math and science and stuff like that. I thought you’d laugh at me.”

  “I’ve never laughed at you, Nick.” It was true. I never had. But that didn’t stop him from feeling self-conscious sometimes.

  “Anyway,” he said, “Mr. Vitali said he wanted to introduce me to this vet friend of his. He said he would be able to give me a good idea of what’s involved.”

  “What about work?”

  “Danny’s going to drive me after.”

  Danny—always Danny. I didn’t know her. I hadn’t even met her. But already I didn’t like her.

  Nick took Orion’s leash from me and handed me my schoolbooks.

  “I have to get changed,” he said. “Danny’s picking me up in ten minutes.”

  “Will I see you tomorrow?” I said.

  “I’m scheduled to work downstairs. But I’ll call you if I get a chance.”

  If?

  I dumped my books upstairs and called Morgan. She was at Billy’s house. They were doing homework together.

  “You want to come over?” she said.

  I thought about her and Billy snuggling with each other and me all alone.

  “No, it’s okay,” I said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  I sat in the window in my father’s living room and looked down at the street. It wasn’t long before a silver Lexus pulled up. Nick darted toward it. His hair was neatly combed. He climbed into the front seat, and the car drove off.

  I spent Saturday night alone.

  Nick called me the next night, but when I saw on my phone’s display that it was him, I didn’t answer. I was still mad that he’d had time for Danny but not for me.

  . . .

  On Monday morning, my dad was up before me, as usual.

  “Breakfast?” he said with a cheeriness that I found irritating.

  “I have to walk Orion,” I said.

  “No, you don’t. Nick was up here half an hour ago. He said to tell you he had it under control.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “You were asleep.”

  “Why didn’t you wake me?”

  “Nick asked me not to.”

  “He didn’t want to talk to me?”

  “He didn’t want to disturb you.” Dad looked closely at me. “Is everything okay between you two?”

  “I don’t know. I hardly ever see him.”

  My dad gave me a sympathetic look. “I know how that goes,” he said. The number-one reason my parents had divorced was that my dad, who used to be a cop, was rarely home. It used to drive my mom crazy, especially when she went back to school to get her law degree. She had expected Dad to be home more often so that she could study, but it hadn’t turned out that way. “Nick has a lot on his plate, Robbie. He has to worry about things you never even have to think about.”

  I knew that, but it didn’t help, especially now that Danny was on the scene.

  I

  spotted James before he even noticed I was there. He was at his locker, engrossed in whatever he was holding in his hand. As I got closer, I saw that it was a phone. But he wasn’t making a call.

  “Get a new app or something?” I said.

  He jumped, startled, and then slid his phone shut and jammed it into his pocket before I could see what he’d been doing.

  “I was just checking something,” he said. He busied himself at his own locker, but he kept glancing furtively at me while I unpacked my backpack and sorted out what I needed for my first couple classes.
/>   “Is something wrong?” I said finally.

  His face flushed. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re staring at me.”

  His cheeks turned even redder. “I’m sorry,” he said. He looked down at the floor.

  Whatever. I got my things out of my locker. I was locking up again when he said, “I have to ask you something.”

  Please, please, please, do not ask me out, I thought. I turned and waited.

  “I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t. I’m sorry, Robyn.”

  Sorry? What was he talking about? There were another few agonizing moments of silence.

  “I told my dad about you,” he said at last. “I—I mentioned that you were in my homeroom and that we have a class together.”

  “Okay,” I said slowly. I wished he would get to the point.

  “The thing is, he remembered you.”

  “Remembered me?” I said. “I’ve never met your dad, James.”

  “I know.” He sounded miserable. “But he remembered your name from the honor roll outside the school office.”

  I nodded. “And?”

  “And he told me to ask you. If I don’t, he’ll just bug me about it, and then he’ll probably call you and ask you himself. He can be really persistent.”

  I was obviously going to have to nudge him to find out what he was talking about.

  “Ask me what, James?”

  “You don’t have to say yes. I can tell him that you’re too busy.”

  “Too busy for what?”

  He finally met my eyes.

  “I was in an accident. I missed a lot of school because of it. I should have graduated a year ago. And ... I don’t know, my grades used to be okay, but lately ...” Poor James. He was one of those people who turn splotchy when they get embarrassed. It was agonizing to watch his face flush redder and redder as he struggled with what he was trying to say. “My dad has a PhD. Education is important to him. He always told me and G—” He broke off and shook his head, as if he were mad at himself for something. “He always made it clear that he expected me to continue my education after high school. But the way things have been going ...”

  I glanced surreptitiously at my watch. The homeroom bell was going to ring any moment.

  “What is it you want to ask me, James?”