Under the Northern Lights

by Tracie Peterson

‘‘It really is me—Jayce,’’ he told her. ‘‘I’m not sure how to convince you.’’

  ‘‘It’s uncanny how much alike you two look. With the beards, it’s even more difficult to distinguish who’s who.’’

  ‘‘Jayce looks nothing like Chase,’’ Leah said angrily. ‘‘His eyes are completely different. Their mouths and noses aren’t alike at all.’’

  Jayce laughed. ‘‘We’re identical twins, Leah. Of course we look alike.’’

  She devoured him with a look that nearly froze him to the ground. ‘‘Don’t ever say that again. There is nothing about you that is like him. Chase Kincaid is evil. He’s an abomination with no conscience—no concern for others. You might have come from the same mother, at the same time—but that doesn’t matter.’’

  Jayce held her gaze for just a moment, but it was long enough to see the terrible pain in her eyes. In that moment he was certain that his brother had deeply wounded Leah. How deeply and through what means, he couldn’t be sure. Unfortunately, his imagination ran wild enough to believe Chase capable of most anything. And that frightened him more than he cared to admit.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jacob watched Helaina’s labored breathing and felt dread wash over him. What if she died? What if the storm lasted for weeks instead of days and they couldn’t get her help?

  Jayce had suggested that Jacob remain in their tent so that he could keep an eye on Helaina, and for that Jacob had been very grateful. He struggled with his feelings for this woman. Helaina still didn’t understand the need to turn her life over to God, and without that, Jacob couldn’t be more than friends. Now with her fighting just to stay alive, he worried that she would die without having found God’s peace for her soul.

  But Leah’s attitude troubled him deeply as well. She was strangely quiet and aloof. She had cooked for them but then went to her pallet, turned her back on the rest of them, and went to sleep. Now, nearly ten hours later, she was still sleeping. Her behavior was unlike anything he’d ever known.

  ‘‘Coffee?’’ Jayce asked him.

  Jacob looked up and realized he’d been staring at Leah’s back.

  He saw in Jayce’s eyes that he held some of the same worries. Jacob looked again to Leah.

  ‘‘Do you think she’s all right?’’

  ‘‘I don’t honestly know. I was hoping you’d tell me. You’ve known her a lot longer.’’

  Jacob shook his head and lowered his voice. It was a big tent, but not that big. The last thing Jacob wanted to do was offend Leah for talking about her as if she wasn’t there just six feet away. ‘‘I’ve never seen her act this way. Not even when you left her back in Ketchikan. She’s always spoken gently—kindly—of everyone. Even when she was angry, I’ve found her to hold her tongue.’’

  Jayce nodded. ‘‘That’s what I figured. I don’t know . . . I mean . . .’’ He fell silent. ‘‘Forget it.’’ He still held the coffeepot. ‘‘Want some?’’

  Jacob extended his tin cup. ‘‘Sure. Doesn’t seem to be much else to do while we wait out this storm.’’

  He sipped the brew slowly, enjoying the warmth. Just then Helaina stirred. Her fever had returned in the night—no doubt because they had nothing with which to stave it off. She opened her eyes.

  ‘‘When we reach the train station,’’ she said in a low, raspy voice, ‘‘will you see to my bags?’’

  Surprised by her request, Jacob said nothing for several moments. ‘‘Helaina, it’s me—Jacob.’’

  She narrowed her eyes as if to see him better. ‘‘I’m sorry. What did you say?’’

  Jacob leaned a little closer. ‘‘It’s Jacob. I’m here to help care for you.’’

  ‘‘Oh, I was having the strangest dream. I was riding in a buggy and . . . we . . . we . . . well, I can’t remember.’’

  He smiled. ‘‘It doesn’t matter. Would you like a drink? I have some tea for you. It’s not the same as what you’ve been drinking, but it will help warm you.’’

  ‘‘Tea would be nice.’’

  Jacob turned to Jayce, who immediately went to work making the tea. When he returned his attention to Helaina she seemed to be a little more coherent, so Jacob asked, ‘‘How are you feeling? Is it still difficult to breathe?’’

  ‘‘No, not as much. I don’t know why . . . I’m still sick.’’

  ‘‘Leah thinks it’s pneumonia. That’s very hard to overcome. I know—I had it once myself. I wound up in bed for three weeks.’’

  ‘‘I don’t have three weeks. I need to get better so I can finish my job.’’

  Jacob shook his head and took the cup of tea that Jayce offered. He helped Helaina sit up and steadied the tea for her to drink. ‘‘There is no job for you to finish, Helaina.’’ He tried to keep his tone gentle.

  She drank some of the tea, then fell back against Jacob’s arm. ‘‘I’ve let Stanley down.’’

  ‘‘He doesn’t feel that way. He’s worried that you’ll be hurt.’’

  She closed her eyes. ‘‘I don’t know what to do. I’m just so tired.’’

  ‘‘You needn’t worry about it, Mrs. Beecham,’’ Jayce said. ‘‘I plan to go after him myself. You need to recover, and maybe by the time you are well we will have Chase in the hands of the Nome authorities.’’

  Jacob wasn’t sure if Helaina heard this or not. She seemed to have gone back to sleep. He loved the feel of her cradled in his arm. She seemed so vulnerable and helpless—not at all the bossy, arrogant woman he’d first met in Nome.

  Just then John peeked in through the inner tent flap. ‘‘I’m gonna water and feed the dogs. You coming?’’

  Jacob placed Helaina back on her pallet. ‘‘Yeah, I’ll be right there.’’ He pulled a blanket over Helaina, then reached for his gloves. ‘‘You’ll keep an eye on her, right?’’

  ‘‘You know I will. I’ll watch them both.’’

  ‘‘I’m worried about them,’’ Jacob admitted, ‘‘but I keep trying to pray through it. God has a reason even in this, I keep reminding myself. I just wish I understood better why any of this had to happen.’’

  ‘‘Sometimes we don’t get answers,’’ Jayce said, looking sadly at Leah. ‘‘I guess we just need to be patient. Sometimes the only thing to do is wait.’’

  ‘‘I guess,’’ Jacob said, but his heart couldn’t accept this. There had to be something more he could do to help his sister and Helaina.

  Leah listened to her brother and husband’s conversation. She tried to take comfort in their words but found she couldn’t. She felt such a mix of emotions: guilt for having left Chase on the trail and feeling he deserved nothing better; anger that God would have let things get so out of control—that He would take her to a place where she was helpless to keep bad things from happening.

  She felt sorrow for the way Chase had ruined things for her and Jayce. Bitterness for the loss of a good future—for truly she did not know how she could go on with Jayce once he learned the truth.

  She finally rolled over after Jacob left to help John with the dogs. Jayce was watching her as she opened her eyes.

  ‘‘Hello,’’ he said softly. ‘‘Did you sleep well?’’

  Leah thought the question absurd. How could she sleep well in the middle of the horrors that had become her life? Nevertheless, she tried to be civil. ‘‘I suppose.’’

  ‘‘Would you like some coffee?’’

  She sat up and stretched. Her body ached from the long hours in one position. ‘‘Yes.’’ Coffee actually sounded quite good.

  ‘‘Are you hungry? I can warm you up something, or we have jerked meat and smoked salmon.’’ He smiled and handed her a tin of steaming coffee.

  ‘‘I’m not hungry.’’ She drank the coffee slowly, happy to have something with which to occupy her mouth so that she wouldn’t have to talk.

  ‘‘You look better. The dark circles are gone from your eyes.’’

  Leah didn’t know what he wanted her to say. She could barely look at him without being rem
inded all over again of Chase and what he’d done. She longed to just go home, but she could hear the wind still wailing outside their shelter. Who knew when the storm might abate?

  ‘‘Can you . . . well . . . talk about what happened?’’ Jayce asked hesitantly.

  Leah felt sorry for him. He seemed almost afraid of her. ‘‘There’s not much to say.’’

  ‘‘Jacob and I went back to Last Chance for dogs and supplies. We learned that you were gone and that everyone thought I had already been there. I take it Chase told them I was your husband?’’

  Leah looked at the cup. ‘‘Yes. He wasn’t expecting me to arrive in the village. I think he thought I would be with you.’’

  ‘‘I’m sure he thought he could fool everyone.’’

  ‘‘He did. No one suspected a thing,’’ Leah replied. ‘‘Not that I would have wanted them to. If they would have known it was Chase instead of you, they might have gotten hurt.’’

  ‘‘I suppose that much is true. Chase wouldn’t have cared who he harmed. We followed your tracks and found the markers you left us.’’

  ‘‘I couldn’t do much. He watched me all the time.’’

  ‘‘I don’t understand why he took you.’’

  Leah gave Jayce a look of disbelief. ‘‘For protection—to keep the others from learning who he was and coming after him. Because he’s a selfish, evil man. How many more reasons does he need?’’

  ‘‘I suppose those things crossed my mind, but it seems that traveling with one woman, let alone two, would slow him down. We honestly worried that he would kill Helaina as soon as he got far enough away from Nome to feel safe.’’

  ‘‘She nearly killed herself.’’

  ‘‘I can see that. But I can understand that she wanted to complete her job. I don’t like what she did, but I can reason through why she would take those chances.’’

  ‘‘She did what she did because she’s as selfish as Chase,’’ Leah said matter-of-factly. ‘‘None of this would have happened if she’d just gone home with her brother.’’

  ‘‘But that’s not true, Leah. I would have gone after Chase even if she had gone back to Washington. You know that I labored over that decision, but I felt it was my obligation. I’d hoped that it would help keep other people from suffering at Chase’s hand. I still feel that way.’’

  Leah nearly dropped her cup. ‘‘What are you saying? You can’t still plan to go after him.’’

  ‘‘I have to. This must come to an end. Chase has hurt too many people. Why, he came in and stole you right out from under the noses of people who’d known you for ten years. He hurt you as well. That’s easy enough to see.’’

  If you only knew, Leah thought. She drank the last of her coffee. ‘‘You can’t go. He hates you. He plans to kill you. Frankly, I think he means to put an end to your life and assume your place in society.’’

  ‘‘But obviously that would be difficult.’’

  ‘‘Why? He’s performed all of his heinous acts under your name. If he convinces people that you were the evil twin, then there will be no reason to cause him further grief.’’

  ‘‘Leah, listen to yourself. You aren’t making sense. Helaina’s brother has no doubt already shared the truth with the Pinkerton Agency. They know the fingerprints they have on file belong to Chase and not to me. As they compare evidence from all of Chase’s crime scenes, they will have other proof as well. Chase can’t win in this situation, and I won’t live in his shadow all of my life.’’

  ‘‘That’s the way he feels about you. That’s why I know he will kill you.’’ Leah tried to contain her frustration at Jayce’s ignorance. ‘‘You can’t go through with this. You can’t.’’

  ‘‘I’m sorry you had to endure so much,’’ Jayce said, suddenly changing the subject.

  ‘‘I don’t want to talk about it,’’ Leah replied. ‘‘I want you to promise me that you won’t go after Chase. I need you to just be done with this here and now.’’

  Jayce’s expression told her his answer before he spoke. ‘‘I can’t. You know I can’t. Especially now.’’

  ‘‘Why especially now? Why should it matter so much?’’

  ‘‘Because he took you. Because he will go on believing himself capable of taking whatever he wants. You know it’s true.’’

  Leah did know, but she wasn’t about to admit it. Not if it meant Jayce would risk his life to go after Chase. ‘‘Maybe so, but I also know his hatred will drive him to destroy you. He told me stories, Jayce. Stories of when you were young. He hated you even then. He blames you for everything wrong in his life. You can’t fight against that. He only cares about seeing you dead.’’

  ‘‘And you think me such a poor example of manhood that I couldn’t be the one to put an end to this? Do you honestly give him more credit for ability and brains?’’

  Leah heard the hurt in his voice. ‘‘No. I don’t give him credit for those things. I give him credit for his blinding hate. There is a rage and hate so fierce inside of your brother that he will never stop trying to satisfy it. But the only thing that will ever ease it will be your blood—or his.’’

  The storm eased the next day. Leah awoke to a strange silence in the absence of the wind, then immediately noticed the missing warmth of Jayce sleeping next to her. He hadn’t tried to be overly familiar with her, and for that Leah was grateful. She felt strange in his arms, almost confused. She knew it was her husband—knew that Jayce and Chase were two different men—but at the same time there were just too many similarities. It was as if Chase had cursed her somehow. Could she never again be alone with her husband without remembering what Chase had done—how he had touched her? She shuddered and closed her eyes tight against the memories.

  I can’t live like this. I have to find a way to get beyond this—to no longer remember anything about it.

  Sitting up, she pushed back the blankets and looked to where Helaina slept. With a heavy sigh, Leah went to the woman. She didn’t want to hold such fierce anger toward Helaina. The woman was sick and needed help. If Leah didn’t offer her healing skills, Helaina might yet die. That was something Leah knew she couldn’t live with on her conscience.

  ‘‘Helaina?’’ Leah felt the woman’s forehead. It was cool. ‘‘Helaina?’’

  Helaina stirred and opened her eyes. ‘‘What’s wrong?’’

  Leah shook her head. ‘‘Nothing. I just woke up and wondered how you were doing. It sounds as though the storm’s abated. Jayce and Jacob must be outside readying things for us to leave.’’

  ‘‘But if we go, we’ll lose track of Chase.’’

  Leah squared her shoulders. ‘‘Haven’t you learned your lesson about that? What in the world possesses you to continue with such nonsense? Chase Kincaid is a dangerous man who wouldn’t think twice about killing you.’’

  ‘‘But he had every chance . . . and he did nothing,’’ Helaina said in a weak voice.

  ‘‘He did plenty.’’ The bitterness was evident in Leah’s reply.

  ‘‘So you’re awake,’’ Jacob declared as he entered the tent. He had a tin plate of steaming meat. ‘‘John’s enjoying the calm after the storm. He cooked this up for you.’’

  ‘‘Where’s Jayce?’’ Leah questioned, moving away from Helaina.

  Jacob’s joyful expression contorted to a frown. ‘‘He said he left you a letter explaining.’’

  ‘‘Explaining what? What are you talking about?’’ Leah looked back to her pallet. Jayce’s things were gone, but a folded piece of paper was propped up against Leah’s mukluks.

  The answers came to her without Jacob speaking a word or without opening the letter. Jayce had gone after his brother. Leah shook her head and yanked on her boots. ‘‘Fine. If this is the way it’s to be, I don’t know why I even bothered to marry him. It’s obvious that we are totally wrong for each other. He doesn’t trust me to know the truth of this situation, and he won’t listen to anything I have to say.’’

  ‘‘Maybe it’s more
an issue of honor,’’ Jacob suggested. ‘‘He has a job to do—he’s pledged himself to do it.’’

  ‘‘She said the same thing,’’ Leah said, pointing her finger at Helaina. ‘‘But you don’t want her going out there after Chase. What’s the difference, Jacob?’’

  ‘‘The difference is, she’s a woman and she’s very sick. Jayce and Chase are brothers. You know how Jayce has suffered over his decision to go after Chase. It’s not easy for him.’’

  ‘‘It hasn’t been easy for me either,’’ Leah countered. ‘‘You probably just urged him on. That’s it, isn’t it? You wanted to keep Helaina safe, so you encouraged Jayce to get out there and capture Chase.’’

  ‘‘You’re talking crazy, Leah. No one has more influence over Jayce than you. You know very well that he’s struggled with his decision to get involved in this. You told me so yourself, and now you’re acting as though it’s the first time you’ve heard it.’’

  ‘‘I’m not the crazy one here. Crazy is going after a man who wishes to see you dead. A man who hates you so much he would stop at nothing to hurt you. Nothing.’’

  ‘‘That makes it all the more logical for Jayce to want to go after him. He can’t very well spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder for Chase, now, can he? You’re being completely selfish about this, Leah.’’

  Leah could hardly believe Jacob’s words. ‘‘You don’t understand any of this. You never will.’’ She pulled on her parka and stormed from the tent, ignoring Jacob’s comments and protests.

  The sun shone in a washed-out manner against pale blue skies, but Leah hardly noticed. She looked across the small camp noting Jayce’s dog team and sled were gone.

  He’s really gone. He’s left me to hunt down his brother—not even knowing what Chase has done. Chase has taken my virtue, my purity, and now he will take my husband as well.

  Leah actually tried to pray. Please, God, keep Jayce from death. The words seemed to echo in a hollow manner within her worried mind. She wanted to believe that God still cared—that He was truly faithful and knew exactly the wrongs that had befallen them. Leah wanted to trust that He was able to deliver her and Jayce from this nightmare, but it hurt so much. She felt betrayed— deserted. Her soul ached from trying to battle the demon that threatened to completely destroy her heart and mind.