Past Lives

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  So the others left, but not before George had asked: 'Was it yesterday that Lukas found you, John?'

  The smaller man affirmed: 'Yes, George, it was.'

  'I suppose you had a piece of pie, Frances wouldn't let you starve, but you will still be hungry and you shouldn't eat more pie, it is too rich for your stomach. One moment, please, guys, Frances, I'm coming with you, but I have a little thing to do yet.'

  George rang for a servant, and ordered some bread and Greek style cheese for his emaciated guest, whose deplorable condition he felt at least partially responsible for. 'See if there are some olives left, if you please,' he added, then at John: 'Hermes brought some olives with him, we may have a jar left. He prefers pie and chocolate and cream when he's here, but those will make you sick as yet, better wait a week before eating a lot of them at once.'

  It was clear that George's kind attention to his health made an impression on John, and when they had left and the servant arrived bearing a earthenware jar of real Greek olives on a tray, besides some bread and cheese, John admitted to Melissa: 'He obviously feels very guilty, but I don't hold him responsible for any of it. It seems to have been an unfortunate lack of insight in your culture from Hermes, just as I thought when living through it.'

  Opening the jar, he tried one of the olives, and happiness and melancholy mingled in his gaunt features once more, though he did not cry again.

  'I noticed you didn't take any pie, Melissa, do you want a few of these instead?'

  She replied: 'One or two, please, I also have some very precious memories attached to the taste of real Greek olives. Could you raise trees from the stones, if you had your magic back? I love these olives, I try to keep from eating pie, I've managed to keep the weight I gained down, but only with extreme discipline.'

  Though it seemed a bit early to start thinking of uses for his magic before it was restored, John did save the stones, saying: 'I don't think these will germinate, they've been salted and cured with vinegar, but I'll try. If I get my magic back.'

  He did not allow her to rise from the couch to get the olives herself, he

  said: 'You are here to rest, and rest you will. I'm your devoted servant for an hour or so.'

  And he sat next to her, savouring his healthy fare as the servants cleared away the remains of the lovely pie and the coffee things. Melissa still felt a bit uncomfortable at being in the presence of servants, having been raised to do her own housekeeping and serving.

  Of course John, though he had been rescued from the street and wore borrowed clothes, had no such qualms, he had been used to being served for most of his long life, though he had no trouble at all doing without at their place.

  At least Melissa knew that the servants at the manor did get their fair share of the pies and the cakes and the rest of the luxuries, George and Frances were more familiar with their staff than other noble families.

  As John not only offered her the occasional olive, but actually fed it to her, she realized it wasn't the intimacy to him that it was in Victorian London.

  She was glad to accept some bread and cheese as well, she didn't want to get hugely fat, but it wouldn't do to starve either. Next time, she'd ask Frances to include a less rich treat for her in the fare, or she'd take a really small piece of pie without the cream.

  'Thank you so much, John,' she said, 'you spoil me, and I like that. Will you sit next to me when you are done? I like your Greek ways of touching and caring. Did they get you in a lot of trouble when you were still entertaining ladies of a certain class?'

  'They did, the ladies liked them, but it was clear they read much more intimacy in them than they are meant to convey at home. I know you are used to our manners so I thought it wouldn't hurt to spoil you as my heart says you deserve.'

  He was so sweet, she was so glad he was not dying by inches somewhere cold and lonely. Taking him in her arms, she gave in to her drowsiness, and they both slept for maybe half an hour. When she felt him stiffen in her arms, she opened her eyes to see Ilsa and Tristan come right at them with welcoming smiles and some curiosity towards their visitor.

  'Don't worry, it's just Tristan, I told you about him, he's very friendly,' she whispered to John, 'try to stay where you are, and I'll ask him to take it slowly.'

  For of course Tristan was coming straight at them to greet Melissa with a

  kiss, and shake hands with the stranger.

  'Would you please wait for a short moment, Tristan?' she asked their good friend, 'John here has had some bad experiences lately and he is rather afraid of men, especially large and powerful ones like you. Please give him a moment to get a hold of himself.'

  Which Tristan immediately did, of course, and Ilsa waited as well. She looked good, her belly was as big as Melissa's, and her usual slim stature was decidedly grown as well. Ilsa did not have Melissa's discipline with eating, she was used to eating whatever she liked, and pregnancy was not a time to develop discipline.

  They sat down, and as Melissa felt the tension drain from John's slight body, she observed: 'You look well, Ilsa.'

  Ilsa replied: 'And you look tired, Melissa, you're working too hard. Let someone else do the hard work for a few months.'

  Bowing her head in defeat, Melissa said: 'I've had to admit today that I cannot keep up anymore, it was getting dangerous. So I'll take your advice and start knitting little garments.'

  'Oh you poor thing, no-one expects you to knit, you can still file or buff or calculate,' Ilsa retorted, 'or help me do that thing with woollen threads that you told me about, on a small scale. You need a hug, can I sit on your other side?'

  This last was directed at John, who nodded, and as Ilsa moved towards Melissa and took her in her arms, their bellies getting in the way of course, John got up and walked towards Tristan, saying: 'I'm sorry for being rude, Sir, the fear is still so much stronger than me. I'm just a small guy. My name is John.'

  'With very little flesh on you, I can guess what your bad experiences were. I suppose I'd better stay seated? To my friends I'm Tristan, not Sir, pleased to meet you, John, are you a friend of Lukas'?' Tristan spoke in his lowest voice, his friendly countenance enhanced by his lowered height and his quiet tone and mild words.

  They shook hands, John showing a little anxiety but not much.

  'I am, how did you know?' John was amazed, he'd be amazed more often at Tristan's intelligence and acute mind, the Greek gods ruled through a monopoly on power, not because of their leadership qualities. Though Tristan was a member of the ruling class by birth, and a really powerful mage by innate talent and years of disciplined study, his personality and thinking

  power had brought him his political eminence.

  He replied, lightly: 'You're obviously Greek in appearance, you wear Lukas' clothes, you are in his wife's arms, and George gives you Hermes'

  olives. My guess is, you're Lukas' old friend from Greece, come on hard times through George's failure to keep an eye on you, he feels guilty and gives you his special olives to make up for it. But how Lukas found you when I couldn't is a mystery to me.'

  That caught Melissa's attention as well. She had taken John back into her arm as he returned to her side, and now three curious faces were directed at Tristan from that couch, none showing any reproof.

  'Did George send you out to find John when he disappeared?' Melissa couldn't believe it, Tristan wasn't even supposed to walk the streets of London, how could he ever find someone amongst the masses of people living in the streets?

  Tristan quickly explained: 'Well, actually I ordered the city watch to look out for him, I thought they'd surely find him, they are everywhere and very observant. But though they sometimes spotted him, they never found him, and after a while George stopped investigating their sightings.'

  This did get a reaction from John, who exclaimed: 'I thought some angry husband set them on me, so I ran, changing neighbourhoods every time one of them seemed to recognize me from a description.'

  Shaking his head slowly, Tristan o
bserved: 'You're good at hiding, the watch usually get their man, and George really spent days going over horrid neighbourhoods to find you.'

  'I had a lot of practice running in my youth, my father's wife had it in for me and she meant to kill me, I ran from her for years and years. She had a lot more ways of finding a person than your city watch has.'

  John had had enough shocks for a day, he was starting to wilt under all the fear and the information, and he was holding on to Melissa tightly.

  She stroked him absently, and asked Tristan: 'George promised John to give him his magic back to make up for the horrible things he went through.

  He thought you might do it as a team, can you check him out?'

  Tristan looked doubtful and said: 'I'd need to touch him, can you handle that right now, John? You look as if you need some peace and quiet.'

  'I do,' was John's reply, 'but I really want my magic back, so I'll manage.'

  For a moment, Tristan rose to his full height, took three steps towards John, then kneeled before him and gently touched his gaunt cheek. John

  submitted to the touch, but it was clear that took some force of will.

  As Tristan used his sight, John gasped, for only then Tristan's huge talent was revealed to him, Jakob's circle had endowed Tristan with their magic-reflecting shield.

  'You're as Gifted as a god!' was his stunned comment, 'how can that be?'

  For a moment, Tristan didn't reply, he was busy trying to figure out the way the magic had been blocked by the Greek gods. When he came back to the now, he said: 'It just happens, John, some people are born with a lot of magic, and I'm from a talented family.' Then he asked: 'George thought we might do this together?'

  Melissa and John both affirmed.

  Tristan shook his head and said: 'I don't think it is a matter of several mages, it is not a very powerful spell. It is just very convoluted, very illogical, like a knot I cannot see the structure of. I suppose Greek gods don't see magic as a science but rather as an intuitive thing?'

  This was way above John's head, but Melissa answered: 'They just will things to be and the things happen. I helped Aphrodite, one of the most powerful gods, remove a spell from Lukas' daughter, by showing her exactly how it was put together.'

  Starting to understand the nature of their discourse, John admitted: 'You are right, Tristan. That spell Melissa mentioned, I just willed that in place, I didn't think it through. It backfired on me, Hermes told me the whole region worshipped Lukas before he left, a side-effect of my tying Katarina's love of independence to feelings of dissatisfaction and insurgence, her love for Lukas inadvertently becoming a part of that spell.'

  Some pieces of a puzzle falling into place in his mind, John continued:

  'So it was you, Melissa, who enabled Aphrodite to remove it so completely. I supposed it would leave bits behind, never to be completely removed. I didn't dare tell them, they would have killed me for sure. I'm glad you helped get it out completely, I actually liked Katarina and Galan. You must be as powerful as Tristan here is, and you don't show your talent either.'

  He suddenly realized that telling this reminded them of what he had done, with the risk of them doubting their decision to give him his magic back.

  Caught up in the discussion on magic, he had just told them his side of things, not realizing how it must sound to them.

  But he didn't regret it, he had been sent here to suffer for his mistakes and

  to learn to be a better person, and facing his past was part of that.

  'I value your honesty, John,' Tristan said, 'it seems a clear sign that you have changed. Power will not come to you as easily here, and its use is not without danger, for it is a forbidden art that needs to be practised in secret.

  If Melissa is willing to use her talent once more to unravel the mysteries of this intuitive spell to us, I think you can be free of it, without ill consequences.

  She will have to be well-rested, though, it will be hard work for her. And we'll have to talk fast to get Paul and Lukas to let her. They are getting more and more protective, I've noticed.'

  'They have reason to,' Melissa admitted, 'I have not been very cooperative, trying to keep everything as it used to be, getting defensive if they tried to dissuade me from anything. I'm going to listen to them more often, have them spoil me the last months, I'm tired all the time and overly emotional. I think I need to accept my limitations.

  I trust you not to abuse your power again, John. I will help Tristan and George remove the block on your magic, and I'll help you adapt to the way magic works here, help you discover the science behind it. It's fun. And I'm afraid I'll have a lot of time on my hands if I can't inspect anymore.'

  Ilsa embraced her friend, and said: 'You have the right to be spoiled, try to enjoy it. Mother said you'd probably need some new clothes as well, I've found this new seamstress, I'm thinking of letting her design some patterns for our factory. Do you want to join me when we visit to see her work?'

  They made an appointment to visit the seamstress, and Melissa was suddenly very curious to check out the block on John's magic, see if she could unravel the virtual knot Tristan had seen. But she knew this wasn't the time, tomorrow morning was, when she was wide awake.

  Soon, Paul and Lukas came back with Frances and George, greeting Tristan and Ilsa heartily. Frances wanted some more time alone with John, and they left for the greenhouse together.

  As soon as they had left, Tristan asked Lukas: 'Why don't you just take your friend's trauma away? He's suffering quite a bit.'

  Lukas answered frankly: 'I hadn't seen his fear, yet,yesterday he was very frightened of Paul, but he was delirious, he needed food and rest most of all.

  Then this morning he was much better, so I thought it was all right.

  I realized only now he was still quite bad.

  But don't you think it might be better for him to deal with it himself? He did very bad things, Tristan, and he feels some need for atonement. I'm afraid that if I take his fear away he'll find some other way to punish himself. I think he may need to forgive himself before I release him of his trauma.'

  Hearing this, Tristan nodded, and said: 'You may very well be right, I didn't see it that way, I just saw a man who was very frightened of me, it is hard to really picture the things he has done, the crimes he has committed.

  Maybe he does need to forgive himself first. He doesn't want to wait to get his magic back, though.'

  'Having his magic back will take a lot of the fear away,' was Paul's opinion, 'with his size he cannot rely on his strength to defend himself against anything. Though Bruce would deny that.'

  'I've checked the spell your family put on him, and it's very involved, but not dangerous or powerful. I've asked Melissa to take a look at it, whenever she feels up to it.'

  Seeing both Paul's and Lukas' eyes narrow at his mention of Melissa, he used a rather firm voice and said: 'You take care, gentlemen. You have fallen in love with a very strong and independent woman. She has admitted to working beyond her strength, and she has promised to let you spoil her for a few months until the baby is born.

  But she will not allow you to patronize her, and you will do so at your peril.'

  Melissa explained: 'You were right, I am tired all the time because I work too hard, but I needed to resist your pampering. I'm giving in, but please try to remember me as I was and will be again. I don't need protective wrapping.

  How was the boiler?'

  Lukas sat down next to Melissa, where John had been, and offered her his curly head, and she stroked his hair and his horn-bases lovingly. Paul sat at her feet, partly because Ilsa was sitting on Melissa's other side, and partly to show he was sorry for allowing their worries and her need for independence to spiral out of control instead of talking about it.

  He got his curls stroked as well, and opposite to his usual manners he yielded to her caresses so totally that he didn't even answer her question.

  So George did, in a way it was his boiler after a
ll: 'They found the leak, and Paul sealed it with magic instantly. That was pretty convenient, for to weld it shut they would have had to drain it and wait until it was dry, and that

  would have meant watering with the pump for three days at least.'

  From his humble seat, Paul observed: 'I never thought of using magic in crafting until we went to Greece. And now I rarely use a torch anymore.'

  'And then we went to the boiler,' George continued, 'and it was indeed over pressured, so Paul let it vent for a little while, it didn't have an automatic vent. He's going to install one in summer, until then we need to check it regularly and keep the pressure steady ourselves. Actually, Frances is going to do that, Paul explained to her how. But the boiler is still good, it doesn't need replacing.'

  Moving on to a new subject, George asked: 'Will you stay for dinner?

  And what about John, do you want to leave him here with Frances, get him healed that much quicker for being stuffed full of love?'

  Melissa decided to show her men she did listen to them, and said: 'I am very tired indeed, and I want to go home as soon as possible, and I guess John will want to come with us for now, though it is his own decision.'

  And so Lukas went to the greenhouse to ask his friend what he wanted to do, and George ordered the carriage. They settled on tomorrow morning to remove the block on John's magic, they would be at the site anyway to check the installation of the glass.

  When that was done, things would settle down a lot until the frame was done at Paul's parents' greenhouse.

  Lukas came back with John behind him, Frances having stayed at the greenhouse. They said their goodbyes, John now comfortable with Tristan's presence, and left in the carriage.

  When they got home, by some unspoken arrangement, Lukas took John back outside with the small bicycle and taught him how to ride it, and when he had mastered the procedure, they went for a ride into town.

  Lukas took the quiet roads, where John wouldn't have to face any people, and then asked him outright whether he wanted to have his trauma removed instantly.