YOLO Juliet
Page 4
Juliet
oh, thank you for getting rid of him. father, i’m miserable!
Friar Laurence
I know, I know. I heard that nothing can stop what’s happening on Thursday. —FL
Juliet
there must be something you can do. plz? otherwise i’m going to solve this the only way i know how….
i’d rather die than marry paris.
Friar Laurence
Stop! Killing yourself is a little drastic. —FL
But drastic might be what we need right now. —FL
Juliet
anything! just tell me the plan.
Friar Laurence
Here’s the deal: Go to your and tell everyone that you’re happy to marry Paris. Tomorrow is Wednesday, so make sure you’re alone tomorrow night. Don’t let anyone stay with you, not even your nurse. —FL
I’m sending you a vial. —FL
When you’re in bed, mix the contents of the vial and drink it. —FL
The potion will make it look like you’re dead, but you’ll actually just sleep for about forty-two hours. When they discover you in the morning, they’ll prepare you for burial in your family’s tomb. Meanwhile, I’ll send Romeo there to wait for you to wake up. Sound good? —FL
Juliet
yes! i’m ready.
love will get me through this.
[Scene 2]
Juliet
dad, you there?
Capulet
What is it? Where have you been?
Juliet
i went to see friar laurence.
i’m so sorry. i realize that i’ve been acting selfish. from now on, i’m going to do whatever you say. i promise.
that includes marrying paris.
Capulet
You mean it? This is great news!
In that case, let’s move the wedding up to tomorrow! Bless Friar Laurence for talking some sense into you.
Juliet
i’m going to pick out a dress with nurse now. ttyl.
Capulet
Great news, dear! Juliet is finally listening to us. I’m going to move the wedding up to tomorrow.
Lady Capulet
Tomorrow, really? But how will we ever have everything ready by then? Love, LC.
Capulet
Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got it all figured out.
Go get some sleep. I’m going to find Paris and tell him the good news. I can’t wait!
[Scene 3]
Lady Capulet
Juliet, honey, do you need help picking out your clothes? Love, Mom.
Juliet
no thanks. i got it covered.
if it’s okay, i’d like to be alone. i’m sure you’ve got a lot of stuff to plan for tomorrow anyway.
Lady Capulet
Okay, sweetie! Get some rest. Love, Mom.
desperate times call for desperate measures. i can’t risk marrying paris tomorrow. i have to drink from the vial tonight. but i’m scared. what if it’s too strong and it kills me? but i can trust friar laurence, right? he wouldn’t do that to me. but what if he’s wrong about the timing? what if i wake up too early? what if i suffocate in the tomb full of my family’s ghosts?? it’ll be dark and scary. i guess i’ll bring a dagger just in case. ugh. tybalt, romeo, i drink to you both. —j
[Scene 4]
Group text: Lady Capulet, Capulet, Nurse, Paris
Lady Capulet
Ooh, we’re so close to being ready! Nurse, we need some more spices for the food. Love, LC.
Nurse
Sure thing. We need more too.
Capulet
Hurry, everyone! We don’t have much time left. We need more too!
Nurse
What ya need is to get some sleep, mister. You’ve been up all night. You’re gonna end up sick!
Capulet
Psh! I’ve stayed up longer for less important things before and have never gotten sick.
Lady Capulet
She’s right, dear. You really should rest up. Love, LC.
Capulet
Nonsense. Nurse, make yourself useful and go wake Juliet. It’s almost time. I’ll go get Paris. This is so exciting!
[Scene 5]
Nurse has checked into Juliet’s Chambers.
Nurse
Yoo-hoo! Hey, J. Time to wake up, girl.
Ya up yet? Ya get enough beauty rest?
Girl, srsly. It’s time to get up.
K, I’m coming in. Ya better be decent.
Nurse
I guess some people sleep in the same clothes they wore yesterday. Nasty!
REPLY
Nurse: Oh ! J is dead!
Lady Capulet: What are you talking about? —LC.
Nurse: Srsly. J won’t wake up.
Lady Capulet: Oh, no! We need her father here, now. —LC.
Capulet
Where are you? Paris is waiting.
Lady Capulet
It’s Juliet. OMG. Our daughter is dead. Sadly, LC.
Capulet
No, she can’t be. Let me see her.
Capulet has checked into Juliet’s Chambers.
Capulet
She’s so cold. Her blood has stopped.
She’s gone. Oh, Juliet.
Group text: Friar Laurence, Paris, Capulet, Lady Capulet, Nurse
Friar Laurence
Hello, everyone. Is the bride ready to go to ? —FL
Capulet
Our beautiful is…dead.
Paris
She can’t be! I’ve waited all my life for this morning.
Lady Capulet
I only had one daughter! One! And now she’s dead. This is the worst day of my life. Mourning, LC.
Nurse
Today is like one giant black hole.
Capulet
We have to bury her. Along with whatever happiness we have left.
Friar Laurence
Everyone relax. She’s in a better place now. —FL
Capulet
We planned a wedding…and now it’s a funeral.
Friar Laurence
Come on, people. We have to prepare for burial. It’s the right thing to do. Let’s go. I’m so sorry for our tragic loss. —FL
[Scene 1]
Balthasar
Hi.
Romeo
Who is this?
Balthasar
It’s me, Balthasar.
Romeo
Oh, sorry. Didn’t recognize the number.
Balthasar
I upgraded to the newest model. New me, new number.
Romeo
That’s nice.
What’s going on? Do you have news from Verona? How’s Juliet?
Balthasar
TBH, not so good.
Romeo
What do you mean?!
Balthasar
Juliet is dead, Romeo. I’m really sorry. She’s being buried in her family’s tomb.
Romeo
NO! I can’t believe it.
Balthasar, bring me a . I’m going to Verona tonight. I have to. Meet me in a few. I’ve got an errand to run.
Balthasar
You got it.
Romeo:
Just purchased the deadliest poison available online. Here goes nothing. #gulp
REPLY
[Scene 2]
Friar Laurence
Were you able to deliver the letter I wrote to Romeo?? —FL
Father John
OOF, BAD NEWS.
SO I WENT TO FIND ONE OF OUR BROTHERS SO HE COULD COME WITH ME BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO GO ALONE. (HE WAS VISITING WITH THE SICK. )
Friar Laurence
Why are you yelling? —FL
Father John
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
Friar Laurence
You mad? —FL
Father John
WHAT? NO. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN CAPS OFF.
Friar Laurence
Okay, okay, keep going. —FL
Father John<
br />
TURNS OUT, THE HOUSE HE WAS IN HAD THE PLAGUE! OOPS! HEHE.
WE WERE QUARANTINED INSIDE AND I COULDN’T LEAVE. SO THE LETTER NEVER REACHED ROMEO. SORRY!!
Friar Laurence
Holy ! —FL
That letter was very important! —FL
I need to get to the tomb right away. —FL
[Scene 3]
Paris has checked into Juliet’s Tomb.
Paris:
Juliet, I can’t believe you were taken so soon. I brought you flowers for your grave. I’ll water them every day. Probably with my tears.
REPLY
Romeo:
I have everything I need to get into Juliet’s tomb. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I must see her face one more time. I gave Balthasar a to deliver to my father that explains everything. Nothing will stand in my way!
REPLY
Paris: Dude, I’m already here.
You are a . You’ve got to be stopped.
Romeo: Stop being so dramatic. I’m coming there to die.
Paris: Psh. Right. If you come here, I will not let you escape.
Romeo has checked into Juliet’s Tomb.
Paris:
Ugh. Romeo got me. #dying Please let me lie next to Juliet forever. RIP, me.
REPLY
Romeo: I’m only letting you lie next to Juliet because there’s been too much death and you deserve a proper burial.
Voice Memo from Romeo
I’m nervous to open the tomb…. Oh, Juliet. I see you. I see your beautiful face. You’ve brought so much light to this dark grave. Suddenly I feel…happy. No, that can’t be right. I don’t understand it. I’ve heard that some men are relieved right before they die, but it feels wrong knowing all the death I’ve caused. Poor Tybalt. Juliet, you’re perfect. I’m so sorry for everything. But now I can be with you forever. I will rest with you for eternity. With this kiss, I will join you. And now…the poison. So I can die with a kiss. RIP, me….
Friar Laurence has checked into Juliet’s Tomb.
Friar Laurence
I’m too late! ROMEO! And Paris! OMG, what happened here?
REPLY
Friar Laurence has checked out of Juliet’s Tomb.
Juliet
yawn. friar laurence, i’m awake. where’s romeo? i did everything you told me to do! everything should work out now, right?
Friar Laurence
Juliet, there’s no time to talk. I’m outside your tomb. I hear someone coming. We have to go. Romeo is dead, and so is Paris. You’re not safe here. Come with me. —FL
Juliet
what??!! are you crazy? i can’t leave if that’s true. go without me.
Voice Memo from Juliet
romeo, wake up! wake up!
what did you do? didn’t you know that i did all of this for you? for us? i slept and slept, hoping you’d be the first thing i saw when i woke up. and now you’re dead? what’s this? omg, it’s poison! you drank poison. and you drank all of it. ugh. maybe there’s still some left on your and if i just kiss you…
nothing. wtf! fine. then i’m gonna use this instead. goodbye, cruel . and see you soon, my romeo. rip, j…
The Prince has checked into Juliet’s Tomb.
The Prince
What is going on around here? So much noise and commotion! Hmph.
REPLY
Capulet: I was just about to ask the same thing. I’m heading over there now.
Lady Capulet likes this
Lady Capulet: Everyone is running around the tomb! I can hear people shouting, “Juliet!” “Romeo!” “Paris!” Confused, LC.
Chief Watchman has checked into Juliet’s Tomb.
Chief Watchman
Juliet’s tomb is not a pretty sight. Juliet is dead. Romeo is dead. Paris is…you guessed it. Dead.
REPLY
The Prince: How could this happen? All three? I want answers!
Chief Watchman: I’m still investigating. But there are tools on the ground that could have opened the tomb.
Capulet has checked into Juliet’s Tomb.
Capulet
OMG. Juliet stabbed herself with that . That should be in Romeo’s back!
Lady Capulet
—LC
The Prince
I’ve got some bad news.
Montague
My wife died last night. She couldn’t take Romeo’s exile any longer. You mean there’s more bad news?
The Prince
Did you see the Watchman’s status?
Montague
Hold on.
Oh, Romeo. You idiot. I’m supposed to die first!
The Prince
We need to figure out what happened. Let’s speak with Friar Laurence. I’ll loop us all in.
Group text: The Prince, Friar Laurence, Montague, Capulet
The Prince
Hey, FL. Mind explaining what happened?
Friar Laurence
I don’t think I’ll live long after confessing this, but…here goes. —FL
I married Romeo and Juliet in secret. It was on the same day that Romeo was banished. Juliet cried nonstop because she missed Romeo, not Tybalt. Then someone had the bright idea to cure her sadness by making her marry Paris . She came to me, threatening to take her own life if I didn’t help. So I gave her a sleeping potion. She’d look dead to everyone else, but she’d wake up in time to reunite with Romeo. At least, that was the idea. —FL
I wrote a letter to Romeo telling him exactly when to come to the tomb, but it never reached him. I ran here, and by the time I arrived, Romeo and Paris were already dead. Juliet woke up, but I heard a noise, got scared, and ran. The sight of it all must have been too much for her to bear. That’s when she picked up the and…oh, this is what it’s come to. —FL
The Prince
Did you get all of that? Capulet? Montague?
Look what your family feud has caused!
You’ve lost your only children. And because I looked the other way, I lost family too. We’ve ALL been punished for this.
Capulet
OMG. Montague, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say right now. This is all too horrible.
Montague
FML. I know. I can’t believe we let this happen. We are so stupid.
The Prince
I think it’s safe to say that the Capulet Montague fight is over now.
But nothing will ever bring back Romeo and Juliet.
The saddest loss of all.