by M J Hardy
Instantly, his voice is more alert, and he says quickly, “Have you pushed the panic alarm?”
I whisper, “Yes.”
“Good, the police are on their way. I’ll be over as quickly as I can. As soon as they arrive, let them in, until then, stay on the phone.”
I nod, thinking he can see me and he says sharply, “Did you hear me, Sarah?”
I whisper, “Yes… please hurry.”
He says softly, “Don’t worry, help is coming. Where are you now?”
“I’m in the hallway. I think someone’s here. There was music… loud music. The same music he played.”
“Is the music still playing, Sarah?”
I whisper, “No.”
Before he can reply, I hear a sharp knock on the door which makes me jump, and he says, “Was that a knock?”
“Yes.”
I see the blue flash of the sirens reflected in the window and my heart sinks with relief.
Officer Coleman says sharply, “Open the door and let the officers search the house.”
I stand and creep towards the door and say in a frightened whisper, “What if it’s him?”
He says wearily, “Check the window. If you see a police car, it’s them.”
Doing as he says; I check the window and see two police officers and a dog outside and my heart settles. I’m safe.
I say gratefully, “They’re here. I’m opening the door.”
He says briskly, “I’m going to hang up now but I’ll be right over.”
As I cut the call, I open the door and the officers look at me with serious expressions. “Is everything ok, Ma’am?”
I say shakily, “I think somebody was in here.”
They share a look and one of the officers takes my arm and says kindly, “Stay with me while they search the place. If anyone’s here, we’ll soon know about it.”
I watch as the other officer unleashes the dog and follows him from room to room. The dog is magnificent to watch as they sweep the place in what appears to be seconds. The other officer turns on the lights and takes me to sit on the couch while we wait. When the others return, we hear, “All clear, there’s nothing.”
My shoulders sag with relief and as the officer and his dog leave, the other says kindly, “What did you hear?”
I shake my head. “Music. I woke up to loud, classical music. It was the same music my husband played and the song he played on the night of the accident. It was deafening me and yet when I called officer Coleman, it stopped.”
The look the officer gives me tells me he thinks I’m crazy. Maybe I am but I know what I heard.
We sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes until officer Coleman appears. He nods to the other officer and says sharply, “What did you find?”
Shaking his head, he says wearily, “Nothing.”
Officer Coleman looks at me and says gently, “You did the right thing, Sarah. Let me make you a cup of tea and you can tell me what happened.”
He nods to the other officer. “It’s fine, I’ve got this. Thanks, Pete.”
The officer smiles sympathetically and says brightly, “Take care, Sarah. We’re always here if you need us, don’t hesitate to call if you need help.”
I smile at him gratefully. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry to waste your time.”
He smiles. “You didn’t. We’re on duty, so it’s all in a night’s work to us. Take care of yourself.”
He leaves and I watch officer Coleman busy himself with making the tea and feel bad. I say sadly, “I’m sorry… um… officer Coleman.”
He sets the mug before me and says lightly, “Call me Tony. Officer Coleman is a bit of a mouthful.”
I smile, taking a sip of the tea gratefully. “Then thank you, Tony. If I’m honest, I feel a little foolish now.”
He sits opposite me at the table and smiles kindly. “Tell me what happened.”
I laugh a little self-consciously. “I woke up to the sound of music – classical music. The same song that was playing the night of the crash. It started off quietly and then became so loud it drowned out my screams. I was so frightened, I thought Richard was here.”
He looks around and says firmly, “Where is your music system?”
I point towards the study and say shakily, “In Richard’s office.”
He nods and says firmly, “Show me.”
Taking a deep breath, I stand to follow him. I lead him to Richard’s study and open the door, almost expecting to see him sitting behind the desk. It’s not a room I ever enter unless it’s to clean. This is Richard’s space and one I’m unwelcome in. It’s surrounded by wood panelling and smells of the usual sandalwood polish he loves. As expected, everything is in its proper place and I hover in the doorway as Tony heads inside.
I watch him move across to the desk, behind which sits the music system. I hold my breath as he presses a button, and the music fills the room. However, this is not the music I heard. This is a different sound altogether. It’s an album of easy listening jazz tracks that’s nothing like what I just heard.
Tony says, “Is this the music?”
I shake my head. “No.”
He presses another button and the sound of the radio fills the air. This time it’s a programme that plays no music. A station that has conversation rather than music and my heart sinks as I see the doubt enter Tony’s eyes. He fiddles with it some more but nothing comes close to what I heard. He shrugs and smiles sympathetically. “Maybe it was the radio after all. You never know what they play at night. Perhaps something triggered the system to come on, or maybe you were dreaming which sometimes explains things that happen at night.”
I shake my head angrily. “I wasn’t dreaming. I would know. It stopped the second you answered the phone. How was that me dreaming?”
He smiles sympathetically. “I don’t know but whatever it was, it’s gone now. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll unplug the system and then it won’t happen again. Is this the only one in the house?”
I nod miserably. “Yes.”
Just for a second, he stares and then shakes his head, saying kindly. “Listen, you’ve been through a traumatic experience. You took a blow to the head and your husband is missing. Things are bound to be a little crazy while the dust settles. Maybe you should get checked out by the doctor. Just to be on the safe side.”
His words, although meant to be kind, sting a little as I can tell he doesn’t believe me. However, even I know he’s probably right. Maybe it was my mind playing a cruel trick on me. Is it possible to sleepwalk and your dream mirror reality? I know it probably is, so I smile sadly and say with a little embarrassment, “I’m sorry… Tony. You must think I’m a crazy woman.”
He smiles which makes him seem a lot more human and grins. “We’re all a little crazy from time to time. I think you’re allowed to be after what happened to you. I’m serious about the doctor though. You should get checked out; you may have something they overlooked.”
He looks around and says brightly, “I’ll just check everything’s secure and there’s nobody hiding under your bed or in the cupboard.”
He grins taking the sting from his words and I relax slightly. “Then I’ll leave you to get some sleep.”
He hesitates in the doorway and then turns back and says gently, “Do you have any family you can call?”
I shake my head ruefully. “None that would welcome it.”
He moves across and sits down beside me and says softly, “Why, what happened?”
My eyes fill with tears as I think about my parents. Two kind, generous souls who didn’t deserve the daughter fate dealt them.
I say miserably, “Richard didn’t like them.”
Tony raises his eyes and I look at him in shame. “When I met Richard, I was so happy. I introduced him to my parents after we had been going steady for a few weeks. I’m not sure why but my father took an instant dislike to him. My mother was a little more diplomatic but I could tell by the expression in her eyes
she shared my father’s view. I couldn’t understand it. What wasn’t to like? He was good looking, charming and successful. He treated me like a princess and was kind and loving to everyone he met. But they hated him on sight. Richard obviously picked up on it and it caused many arguments. I was besotted with him and so started to distance myself from them. When Richard asked me to marry him, we sought their approval. You know, the old-fashioned way.”
Tony smiles and I shrug ruefully. “They told us they couldn’t give us their blessing. Well, you can imagine how that went down. I was angry and so was Richard but they stood firm. My father wouldn’t give me away and they wanted no part in the wedding.”
Tony says in a shocked voice. “That must have hurt – a lot.”
I nod sadly. “It did. I pleaded, begged and cajoled them but they wouldn’t budge. In the end, we moved away, and I had nothing more to do with them. Richard told me all the time we were married I wasn’t to have any contact with them. He wiped them from our lives and they don’t even know where we live.”
Tony looks shocked and I feel ashamed of myself. I smile through my tears. “I regret every harsh word spoken and above all, that I didn’t listen. I should have seen what was obvious to them. Richard wasn’t the man for me, he was the monster under my bed and the man I should have avoided at all costs. Even now, I can’t bring myself to call which shows you just how low I’ve sunk. What daughter turns her back on her parents and doesn’t even know if they’re still alive? I’m ashamed of myself, Tony and don’t deserve their sympathy now.”
To his credit, Tony doesn’t react. He remains impassive and just smiles gently and says softly, “You should call them. You may be surprised by what you find.”
He stands to leave and I say, “Thank you. I mean that, you’ve been amazing.”
He shakes his head. “Just doing my job, Sarah. You may not be so happy to see me next time I call.”
His words remind me I’m still under investigation and am, in fact, a criminal in his eyes. He looks around and says firmly. “Bolt the door after me and try to get some sleep. I’ve checked everywhere and you’re perfectly safe.”
I follow him to the door and do as he says. As I hear his steps move away, it enhances the loneliness I feel. Maybe I should reach out to my parents – maybe something good could come out of this after all.
Chapter 15
Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. – unknown
I sleep in for the first time in years. The sun is high in the sky when I drag myself downstairs to get some coffee and for a while, everything seems normal.
I take my mug over to the window and watch the world going about its day. Mrs Barlow is cleaning her windows. I see Angela walk to her car and wonder how she’s feeling now she’s pregnant. I see Carrie Evans lifting a child into her car as she heads out on the school run and then I see her husband Derek kiss her on the cheek affectionately as he heads off to the office.
Normal life goes on for everyone but me, Richard and the girl on Gander Green lane. We are altered forever. One is dead, killed in her prime and will always be remembered with love and fondness. One is on the run and sure to return and cause more trouble, and one may as well be dead, although some may argue she has been for years. One person is a prisoner of her own stupidity and only has herself to blame for the situation she finds herself in.
Sighing, I head off to get dressed and tackle yet another cupboard in a bid to distract my attention. It must be around 10 o clock when Gloria knocks on the door.
“Hey, Sarah. It’s only me, I’ve come bearing gifts.”
Grateful for some company, I fling open the door and smile as Gloria heads inside, staggering under the weight of some shopping bags.
“Phew, they’re heavier than I thought.”
I look with interest as she starts pulling all sorts of treasures from them. Beautiful clothing that looks almost new, sits alongside fabulous handbags and designer scarves. I look at her in surprise and she says warmly, “I thought you could use a change of clothes. You must be craving something new and I thought some of these would help banish those unhappy memories.”
I’m actually speechless as I look at her with gratitude. “How did you know?”
She smiles sadly. “I’m guessing every item you own brings back unhappy memories. I know I’m the same. I remember things that happen by the clothes I wear. For instance, I had a puncture not so long ago and had to wait for hours in the pouring rain. The dress I was wearing got soaked through and I haven’t worn it since – bad luck you see. Then there’s the skirt I wore when I got my latest health check. It didn’t go well so obviously the skirt is bad luck and I dropped it to the charity shop.”
I look at her with concern. “Are you ok, health wise I mean?”
She shrugs. “So, so. I had a negative smear test and had to get some treatment. It seems ok now, but I was worried for a while there.”
I smile sadly, “I’m sorry, I never knew.”
Gloria smiles ruefully. “There are a lot of things we never knew about each other. I suppose I always knew something was wrong in your life, Sarah. This perfect life you had going should have told me it was a lie. I mean, nobody lives like you did. The house and garden were always immaculate. Your husband appeared to have been made in a factory for designer husbands. Yet, somehow your eyes were sad. Tortured in fact and I never asked. I shrugged it off and went about my business wishing my life was as charmed as yours.”
I look at her in surprise. “Are you saying you’re unhappy?”
“Aren’t we all? Nothing is perfect. There’s never enough money and we scrape by as best we can. My husband is irritable most of the time and I can’t remember the last time we had a meaningful conversation. The only child I have lives with her father and his new wife and the dog died last month.”
She wipes a tear from her eye as I stare at her feeling bad. I remember when her dog died. One minute he was there, the next I heard he had an illness and was put to sleep. I never once went to see her. I didn’t think to take her a plant or chocolates to cheer her up. I never thought to offer a listening ear while she grieved because like she said, it was easier to pretend it wasn’t happening. Easier to smile and close the door on another’s problems. I had more than my fair share of my own but that’s no excuse. I wasn’t there for her like she is for me.
I say with interest, “Do you think everyone’s the same? I mean, look around us. We live in a respectable neighbourhood where everyone appears happy and to have life worked out. Do you think their lives are filled with problems and secrets like mine?”
Gloria smiles wickedly, “Of course, they have secrets. However, some are not so secretive, if you know what I mean.”
She pulls out the chair and reaches for a bottle of wine. “Sit yourself down, Sarah and prepare to be amazed.”
I don’t even register that it’s still morning as Gloria fills two glasses with wine and smiles. “Ok, take Angela for instance.”
“What, pregnant Angela?”
She nods and lowers her voice, even though we are the only ones here. “I heard she couldn’t get pregnant for a reason.”
I shake my head and she says, “Her husband. They’ve been trying for ages and no luck. I know because she asked me ages ago if I knew anywhere they could go to for advice. Well, she went alright and apparently got a lot more than the advice she was seeking.”
“What do you mean?”
“The ‘advisor’ turned out to be a flame from the past which was quickly re-kindled on the office floor. Then wham, bam pregnant mam.”
I stare at her in shock and she shakes her head. “I only know because my friend Joanne works in the same office and saw Angela hurrying from the scene rearranging her clothing. Apparently, this guy is well known for charming the ladies and is under investigation as we speak.”
“But you don’t know th
e baby’s his?”
Gloria shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not but rather a coincidence wouldn’t you say? The truth, however, will be in the end result. If that baby looks like her advisor the shit will hit the fan.”
“Why, does Vincent suspect?”
She shrugs. “Who knows but I’m guessing our friend Angela is a bundle of nerves and hormones right now.”
I take a swig of the wine and she carries on. “You know Sally and Crispin.”
I nod, fascinated by what she’s saying. “Well, apparently they’re swingers.”
I almost spit my wine across the table. “Swingers!”
She laughs loudly. “You know that retreat they go to every year in Sweden. Swingersville.”
I start to giggle as she carries on. “I saw the name of the place they were going and googled it. I’m not lying when I say that place should be on the dark web. Even the website was X rated. Come to think of it, I may have seen a picture of Sally and Crispin in the background on one of the promotional shots.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “Now you’re making it up.”
She shrugs. “Maybe but I know what I saw. You know, Edward always said there was something fishy about that couple and now I know what he meant.”
My sides are aching from laughing and I gasp, “Stop, you’re so wicked.”
She giggles and takes another swig of wine. “That’s not all. Did you know they ordered a new hot tub? Well, I’m not accepting any invitations to try that out in the near future. They are probably looking for like-minded individuals to share their... um... hobby.”
As we giggle like schoolgirls, I forget for a minute. Just for a moment, I am normal. A carefree woman having fun with a friend. This is what it should be like. Not living in fear 24/7 and worried about absolutely everything.
She must notice the change in my expression because she smiles gently, “Are you ok, honey?”
I sigh heavily. “I was just thinking how much fun this is. It’s made me realise what I’ve missed out on all these years. My whole life revolved around Richard and what he wanted. I never once thought about me and what I needed. Maybe if I had, I would have spoken up sooner. Made a stand and not let myself fall down the rabbit hole with him.”
