Just a Little Bet (Where There's Smoke)

by Tawna Fenske

  “Wait here.” He scooped up some of the groceries and raced to the Jeep, working as fast as he could. After stashing stuff where it belonged, he reached into the locked compartment under the driver’s seat and withdrew the pistol. A small Smith & Wesson Shield that he kept on hand for emergencies.

  He hurried back to Kayla’s side. When she spotted the gun, her eyes flew wide.

  “What is that?” She frowned and shook her head. “I know it’s a gun, but what’s it for?”

  “Protection.” He held it up to give her a closer look. He was almost positive he remembered her saying her mother taught her to shoot. “You’ve used a gun before?”

  “Yeah.” Her blue eyes swept the sleek, single-stack polymer pistol. “Not for a while, but I used to go to the shooting range with my family.”

  “Good.” He slipped the magazine out of his pocket and loaded it. “Safety’s on, and it’s manual. You want me to show you how that works?”

  “No, I’ve got it. What’s the recoil like?”

  “A little more than with most guns this size, but not bad.” He held it out to her. “I’ll sing ‘Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah’ when I come back so you don’t shoot me by accident.”

  Still frowning, she stared down at the gun. “But you should have it. You’re the one going out into the woods.”

  “Which I’ll feel better doing if I know you’re safe. I do this sort of thing all the time.” Not looking for lost animals but roaming dense forests on foot. That was definitely his jam. “You need to stay here and keep calling. He’ll find his way back if you stay put.”

  He hoped that was true. Shouldering his pack, Tony started toward the trees.

  “Wait.” Kayla held the gun at her side. “When will you check back? When should I worry?”

  “I won’t be long,” he said, hoping it was true. “I’m sure he’ll slink back the second I’m gone, looking for eggs and Spam.”

  Kayla sniffled and forced a smile. “You’re right. I’m sure he’s fine.”

  She didn’t look sure, and Tony couldn’t resist turning around and hustling to her side again. He pulled her to him, squeezing tight before he drew back to look into those blue, blue eyes.

  “He’ll be fine.” Tony pressed a kiss to her mouth, sealing the promise. Hoping to God he was right. “We’ll get him back.”

  He turned and hurried away, feeling Kayla’s eyes on his back. Her lips still burning against his. “Fireball! Come on, boy. Let’s go, buddy.”

  Moving deeper into the forest, he listened for Kayla’s voice behind him. She was still shouting the dog’s name, her voice high and clear. He crossed his fingers that wouldn’t confuse the dog. Given the choice, he hoped the little guy would run for Kayla and not him.

  “Fireball, buddy—come.” He kept moving, hoping to God an owl hadn’t scooped him up already. Or a coyote. Jesus, he was such a small dog.

  “Come here, boy!” Tony clambered up a ridge, praying the dog had been with them long enough to know his own name. As Tony hoofed it up the hillside, his brain flashed to another place. A meadow in the woods so many years ago.

  He and Joel had met Bud only a few times when their mom invited him on a picnic. She’d packed her brown wicker basket, folding Bud’s favorite sandwiches into the red-and-white cloth. At lunch, their mother explained that she and Bud were getting married. It seemed so surreal—not that Tony knew the word “surreal” yet. Or what any of it meant.

  When they were done eating, he and Joel had run off into the trees, giddy to play hide-and-seek.

  But Bud wasn’t interested in games. “They’re gonna get lost out there,” he’d grumbled as Tony hunkered down behind a lodgepole pine twenty feet away. “It’ll serve ’em right. Boys gotta learn about not running off like that.”

  “It’s been hard since their father left,” his mother had replied, her voice oddly hollow.

  “They’ve had plenty of time to get over it.” Bud grunted. “Boys need discipline. When I’m their father—”

  Tony had heard nothing after that. The buzzing in his brain was too loud; his fists clenched so tightly that his nails left half-moon divots in his palms.

  Two months later, as Tony stood at the front of the church, he’d felt his knees wobble when the preacher pronounced “Mr. and Mrs. Glockman.” That was when it hit him for real. His mother had a different name.

  His mother was a different person.

  Shaking off the memory, Tony picked up the pace. He sprinted to the top of the hill, gaze sweeping from side to side.

  “Fireball! Come.”

  But the only sounds he heard were the echo of his own voice and the rustle of the breeze through brittle pine needles.

  And the sound of his own conscience in the back of his head.

  I told you so.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kayla stayed by the Jeep, shouting herself hoarse.

  “Fireball!” She called his name again and again, growing more fearful he might have gotten hurt. Or eaten. He was so tiny that anything could see him as prey.

  Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away. At least she knew Tony was safe. Wonder upon wonders, they had cell service out here. Sporadic, but better than nothing. He’d been texting every twenty or thirty minutes, giving her reports on the ground he’d covered, the sightings he’d had.

  Or not had, at least of Fireball. He’d spotted falcons and deer and a den he’d been pretty sure belonged to a bobcat.

  Kayla shuddered, whispering a silent prayer her dog was okay. Amazing how much she’d come to love him in such a short time.

  Her brain flashed to Tony again, and she threw a prayer at him, too. She knew it wasn’t his fault the dog had gotten loose, and she hated him blaming himself. It was no one’s fault. How could they have known Fireball would just take off like that?

  Kayla glanced at her watch. Just after one. Tony had vowed to be back by two, so she still had time to kill.

  “We’re not giving up,” he’d told her on the phone when he called to check in. “That’s not on the table at all.”

  She’d loved him for that. Loved him fiercely and freely. She knew plenty of guys who’d be ready to throw in the towel in a few hours, pointing out that they’d only known the dog a short time.

  No way would Tony do that. She knew it in her bones. He was a kind man. A reliable man.

  So what if he had commitment issues? So what if communication wasn’t his thing?

  A niggle of unease moved through her, so she shook her focus back to finding the dog.

  “Fireball!” She shouted his name again, her voice disappearing into the trees. “Fireball, come.”

  She held her breath and listened, praying for a miracle.

  Instead, she heard singing.

  “Zip-a-dee-doo-dog, zip-a-dee-yay. I don’t know the words to this damn song anyway.”

  Tony.

  Scanning the trees, she watched as he emerged. He was sweaty and disheveled in a long-sleeved shirt with a tear on one arm. Muscles rippled in his chest as he swiped a grimy forearm over his forehead, then gave her a tired wave.

  There was no sign of Fireball.

  She tried to mask her disappointment as he approached. “No sightings?”

  He shook his head and dropped his pack on the ground, prying the top off a water bottle. “Nope.” He drank deeply, and Kayla watched his throat move.

  When he lowered the bottle, he swiped an arm over his forehead again. “New plan. This one requires regrouping.”

  Kayla bit her lip. “I’m not leaving here without him.”

  “Of course you’re not,” he said. “Neither am I. But one of us has to go back to the hotel and grab a bunch of dirty socks and underwear.”

  She stared at him. “Um—”

  “It’ll help him find his way back to us,” he explained, holding out his
phone. “I called Willa, since you mentioned she’d had a dog who was a runner.”

  Now why hadn’t Kayla thought of that? “She’s also got Stevie, the blind dog.” Plus a deaf cat, a one-legged cat, and a messed-up betta fish. “She’s kind of an expert on challenging pets.”

  “Right.” Tony took another swig from the bottle. “We need to spread our scent all over. And I need to grab camping gear, just in case.”

  “In case—?”

  “We might have to stay the night out here. Don’t worry; I brought an extra zero-degree bag, and we’ve got plenty of food.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked up at the sky so he wouldn’t notice. “Thank you,” she said. “I’d like to stay here and keep calling him.”

  “Yeah, that’s smart. You’ve got your portable charger?”

  She shook her head. “It’s back at the hotel, on the nightstand.”

  “I’ll grab it. Anything else?” He was already moving toward the Jeep. “Besides your panties, I mean.”

  Ignoring the blush creeping into her cheeks, she folded her arms over her chest. “All my laundry’s in the white garbage bag stuffed in the back of my suitcase. There’s—uh—a lot. I was going to do laundry at our next stop.”

  “Perfect.” He smiled and opened the Jeep door. “I hope it’s nice and stinky.”

  He jumped in the cab and drove away before she could retort, and she watched his taillights vanish. Glancing down at her hand, she saw the gun still dangling from her fingers.

  “Fireball.” Her voice sounded weaker, less hopeful, so she tried again. “Fireball!”

  She’d been calling his name for what felt like forever. Maybe she needed a new approach. Just a steady stream of her voice having mundane conversation. That’s always when the little dog appeared—right when she and Tony started talking. He usually had something to contribute to a conversation.

  Her heart twisted as she set the pistol on a stump and pulled out her cell phone. She still had more than 70 percent battery life, and Tony would be back soon with her charger.

  Hitting the key for her mom’s number, she pressed the phone to her ear. As it rang once, twice, three times, Tony’s words came back to her.

  It’s been eight years, actually. Since I spoke to my mother.

  That seemed impossible. Maybe Kayla wasn’t great about staying connected with her family; maybe she felt jealous of her sisters and stung by her mom’s constant reminders that Kayla hadn’t settled down—but dammit, she loved her family.

  And right now, she needed her mother.

  On the fourth ring, her mom picked up.

  “Kayla, sweetheart.” Her mother’s greeting flooded her with warmth. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I—how did you know something’s wrong?”

  “A mother always knows.”

  Kayla sniffled, vowing to visit next month. Screw the awkwardness. She could deal.

  “My dog,” she said softly. “Fireball. He’s gone missing.”

  “Oh, honey.” The sympathy in her mom’s voice made her chest ache. “What happened?”

  Kayla told her about the sunrise shoot and the magic of the pink sky. She told her about the breakfast, too, careful not to make it Tony’s fault that Fireball had escaped.

  “I never thought he’d be a flight risk,” she said. “He’s been glued to my side since I got him. I don’t understand.”

  “I’m sure he’ll come back,” her mother said. “He’ll come to his senses and realize he’s meant to be with you, and everything will be fine.” Her mother paused. “Is Tony with you?”

  The segue gave her pause. Kayla cleared her throat. “He went to get supplies so we could keep looking for Fireball.”

  “Good. That’s good.” A long pause. “Did it ever seem odd he didn’t want to meet us?”

  “What?” Kayla’s brain was caught on Fireball, so it took a moment to catch up. “Oh, Tony? No, of course not. We only dated six weeks.”

  “Right, but we offered to fly him out with you the weekend of Katie’s wedding. Remember?”

  Of course she remembered. She just hadn’t realized her mother did. “He doesn’t get a lot of time off during fire season.”

  “Certainly. Well, I’m sure it’s nothing. Just odd he’s always been busy when we’ve come to visit. It’s been two—no, three times we’ve flown out since the two of you became friends?”

  Kayla bit her lip. “He said he’s not big on meeting family.”

  She held her breath, waiting for her mother to comment. To tell her that was a bad sign.

  “Is he close with his own family?”

  “With his brother, I think,” she said. “His dad left when he was young, and he’s estranged from his mom.”

  “That sounds like a lot of baggage.”

  “It is.” The kind to make Tony avoid meeting her family? To avoid having a family of his own or any long-term relationships, even if he wanted those things deep down? “Maybe that’s what it’s about.”

  “What’s that, sweetie?”

  “Nothing. Sorry, I’m just—distracted.” Her brain whirred with worries about Fireball but also thoughts of Tony.

  “I’ll let you go, baby,” her mother said. “Call if you need anything?”

  “I will,” she said. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

  “Good luck, sweetheart. And Kayla?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re wonderful no matter who you end up with,” she said. “Married or single, with or without kids. You’re the best daughter I could have hoped for.”

  She swiped at her eyes again, which were somehow leaking. “Aside from the other three daughters, you mean?”

  “Don’t tell them.”

  “I won’t,” Kayla laughed. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too.”

  She hung up the phone and stuck it in her pocket, ready to get out there and search again.

  …

  Tony prodded a log on the campfire, rolling it into a pile of embers and confetti sparks. “He’s out there somewhere,” he assured Kayla, doing his best to reassure himself. “Hopefully he’ll smell the campfire and come find us.”

  It wasn’t very sound reasoning, since most animals he knew ran away from fire. But this fire had the benefit of two skewers of hot dogs being roasted over the flames, so maybe that tipped the scales.

  “Someone from that pet-rescue group called me back when you went to string underwear in trees,” Kayla said. “They have some kind of special trap they can use if he’s not back by morning.”

  If he’s not back by morning.

  That sounded pretty awful to Tony, and not just because he felt sorry for the little dog he’d come to love. He couldn’t bear the sadness in Kayla’s eyes, the tears she kept swiping at when she thought he wasn’t looking.

  She shook her head, dabbing one eye with the back of her wrist. “If I hadn’t been so focused on my stupid pictures. Or getting breakfast. Or—”

  “Hey, no.” He gripped her hand, willing her to look at him. “You don’t get to make this your fault. It’s my fault. I should have checked that tree stump better.”

  She sighed and turned her hot dog over, toasting the other side. “I guess neither of us had any idea he was a runner. Maybe I should have guessed. He sure ran off from his last owners in a hurry.”

  “His last owners sounded like jerks,” Tony pointed out. “We feed him treats and take him for runs.”

  Kayla looked up, blue eyes filled with guilt. “You think he ran away because he hates jogging?”

  “Definitely not.”

  He hated seeing her so sad. Hated that he’d caused it. That dog was like her child, and what had Tony done? He’d lost him.

  Hesitating, he slid an arm around Kayla. “You cold?”

  “Not real
ly, but that feels nice.” She snuggled up against him, warm and beautiful with firelight in her hair. She was quiet a long time. When she spoke again, her voice was so soft he almost couldn’t hear. “Do you think it’s possible to be strong and independent and self-reliant, but also to want marriage and kids and…well, all of it?” She looked up at him with flames dancing in her eyes alongside the self-doubt he’d seen there so many times.

  He shook his head. “I think you can have anything you want,” he said. “If you want the career and the independence and the kick-ass single life, then you can have that,” he said. “And if you want a whole houseful of kids and a husband who treats you right—” His voice snagged as his heart tripped over the thought of Kayla with a husband. A man who wasn’t him.

  He had to force out the rest of the words. “If that’s what you want,” he said, “you deserve it all. Why would you have to choose?”

  “I don’t know.” She turned her hot dog in the flames, still burrowed against him. “Sometimes it just feels like things won’t align. Like no matter how hard I try, I can’t get all the pieces to come together.”

  “Yeah.” He took a few deep breaths, the way he used to do as a rookie, when he first learned to jump out of planes. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  Fuck. Maybe he should say it.

  Tell her that the one thing he’d learned visiting all these exes, having all these conversations, is that he’d never known anyone like Kayla. The best traveling partner he’d ever had. The best friend he’d ever had.

  But it was more than that, wasn’t it? She was the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman he’d ever met. A woman who deserved the whole world.

  And right now, sitting here by the fire with her, he wished more than anything he could be the man to give it to her. No, not give it to her. She could do it by herself if she wanted to, but goddamn it, he wanted to be by her side while she chased her dreams. It was selfish and stupid, but there it was.

  He should at least say that, right?

  “Kayla.” His voice sounded ragged, so he cleared his throat. “Have you ever thought maybe—”