Just a Little Bet (Where There's Smoke)

by Tawna Fenske

  The jingle of tags stopped the words in his throat. He knew that jingle. He’d heard it every time Fireball scratched his neck or bounded over the bed or—

  “Fireball?” Kayla’s eyes went wide as she heard the same thing. “That’s him!”

  She jumped to her feet, and Tony did the same, flipping his plate as he scanned the woods. Kayla got to her flashlight first, while Tony picked up the lantern and spilled light into the dimly lit trees.

  “C’mere, buddy,” he called, squinting into the darkness.

  “Fireball! Here, boy!”

  A flash of black-and-tan fur crashed through the trees, four paws scrambling in a blur. The dog was hauling ass, running like he had a bear chasing him. Which he might, so Tony wasted no time snatching him up off the ground.

  “Hey, buddy.” He held the dog to his chest, dodging a series of chin licks as he carried the squirming bundle back to their campsite.

  Kayla came running, tears streaking down her face. “You’re okay! I was so worried about you.”

  Fireball wriggled harder, trying to get to her. Tony couldn’t blame him and started to hand him over.

  “Wait,” she said, fluttering her fingers down the dog’s midsection. “Hold him still so I can feel for injuries.”

  Easier said than done, but Tony cradled the dog tighter against his chest, doing his best to keep him still. “Does he look skinnier?” he asked, knowing it was a dumb question. The dog had been gone hours, not days. “Check his paws—make sure they’re not all cut up. Forests can be dangerous places.”

  “I know, I know.” Kayla moved slowly, scanning every inch of the little dog’s body while Fireball squirmed and tried to lick her hands. “He’s okay, I think. I mean, obviously I’m not a vet.”

  “There’s a twenty-four-hour emergency vet clinic just a couple blocks from the hotel.” Tony handed the dog over, then got to work packing up their camp. “We can stop in on the way to the hotel if you want.”

  “Good idea. Want me to help pack, or can I take him to the Jeep and get him some water?”

  “Water.” He already had one sleeping bag rolled up and was working on the second. “And food. Whatever he wants. We can buy him a fucking Quarter Pounder if he likes.”

  Kayla laughed and cradled the dog against her chest. “Using bribery to make sure he never leaves again, huh?”

  She laughed and turned toward the Jeep, cooing sweet words in the dog’s ear. He knew she couldn’t hear him, but he still spoke the words softly as he doused the fire.

  “Whatever it takes,” he murmured, smoke billowing around him. “Just so she doesn’t leave again.”

  It was stupid and selfish, and he had absolutely no plan for how he’d ever find a way to be worthy of her. To give her the sort of relationship she deserved.

  But as she turned and smiled at him, he could swear she looked right into his soul.

  For the first time in his life, that voice in the back of his mind whispered the one word he’d always wanted to hear:

  Maybe.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kayla surveyed the park, admiring the fluttering aspens and the red-and-blue playground equipment anchored in an ocean of fragrant cedar chips. Gripping Fireball’s leash in one hand, she touched Tony’s arm with the other.

  “Is that her?” She nodded toward the picnic table a few feet from the restrooms. “The dead ringer for Rihanna?”

  Damn, the woman was gorgeous. Thick braids and flawless brown skin set off by a row of bright red bracelets on her left wrist. And smart as hell, from what Tony had told her. Jaylin had a PhD in psychology and flew all over the world offering workshops for smokejumpers and medics and other first responders. Though she’d met Tony in New Zealand, they hadn’t dated until years later in Montana.

  “That’s her,” Tony said. “Nose in a book, perpetually early. I always dug that about her.”

  Kayla nodded, shoving against another swell of jealousy. “You sure you’re okay with this? It’s not taking a toll, hearing all this feedback from exes?”

  He hesitated. “I’m good with it. I needed to hear the not-so-flattering stuff.”

  Don’t we all. Kayla bit back the words, curious which things had struck the most chords with Tony.

  She’d sure as hell learned a lot about herself over the course of this trip. Her self-awareness was at an all-time high, though she still had plenty to learn.

  Her awareness of Tony, on the other hand…well, that was the thing. How had she never noticed before how quick he was to acknowledge his own faults? To apologize for missteps and pledge to do better? When they’d dated, she’d always admired his kindness, but had she ever noticed his earnestness? His desire to be a good guy, even if he didn’t get it right 100 percent of the time?

  He kept trying, and God, she admired him for it.

  As Jaylin looked up and waved them over, Kayla pushed aside her own questions to focus on Tony’s. “Showtime,” she said. “You didn’t tell her we’re together, did you?”

  “I didn’t say one way or the other. What do you think would be best?”

  Kayla considered that. “Just friends,” she said, despite the overpowering urge to lace her fingers through his. “I think we’ll get straighter answers that way.”

  “Good thinking.” They started toward Jaylin, still well out of earshot, but Tony lowered his voice anyway. “Have I thanked you lately for pushing me to do this?”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiled and bumped him with her elbow. “Which of us is closest to winning the bet?”

  “I have no idea at this point.”

  Neither did she, and honestly, she kept forgetting they’d made one. It seemed like a lifetime ago they’d sat in her guest room debating whether Tony was just a bad boyfriend or a guy with serious commitment issues. Right now, he was just Tony—kind, sensitive, funny, too-hard-on-himself Tony—the man she knew on a whole different level than the one who’d left with her on this road trip.

  They were almost to the table, and Jaylin folded her book and stood to greet them. “What a cute little dog!” She stooped down to pet Fireball, who pranced and wagged before hopping up on his hind legs to lick his new best friend’s face. “Aren’t you just the sweetest? Yes, you are! What a good boy.”

  Kayla laughed, charmed by anyone so happy to meet her dog. He really was a good boy. The best, when he wasn’t running off into the woods and scaring them half to death.

  Jaylin straightened and smiled, wiping her hands on her designer jeans. “Tony, I’m sure you’re a good boy, too.” Her smile was wide and warm, with no trace of salaciousness topping the words she’d just said. Just the teasing openness of old friendship, and she shook his hand firmly before turning to Kayla. “It’s great to meet you, too. Kayla, right?”

  “Right.” She shook Jaylin’s hand and returned the smile. “And this is Fireball.”

  “He lives up to his name,” Tony added as they arranged themselves at the picnic table. Kayla and Tony took a seat on one side, while Jaylin returned to her spot on the other.

  Fireball danced under the table between them, leash tangling on the bar supporting Jaylin’s bench.

  “So.” She smiled at Kayla, then Tony. “I have to admit, I didn’t expect to hear from you. It’s been, what? Four years?”

  “Something like that.” Tony folded his hands on the table. “I know we haven’t really kept in touch, but things ended well enough between us. I thought maybe you’d have some insights to share. Especially since you’re a shrink and all.”

  Jaylin laughed, but it seemed a bit forced to Kayla. The flash of uncertainty in the woman’s eyes told her there was more to the story than Tony assumed.

  She took her time responding, glancing at Kayla again before directing her attention to Tony. “Look, you’re a great guy.”

  Uh-oh, Kayla thought, knowing damn well how
women tended to cushion negative feedback that way.

  But Tony kept smiling, either unaware or trying to stay positive. “Thanks,” he said, nodding at her. “You’re pretty awesome, too.”

  “Thank you.” Jaylin tilted her head to one side. “Do you remember how you broke up with me?”

  Tony flinched. Just a little, but enough for Kayla to notice. “You dumped me, didn’t you?”

  He sounded unsure, and Kayla folded her hands in her lap to keep from reaching out to soothe him. Under the table, Fireball stretched up to lick her hand, then trotted over to Jaylin.

  The woman smiled down at Fireball as he hopped up on the bench beside her oversize purse. A shearling bucket bag from Mansur Gavriel—Kayla had admired one like it online. At least until she saw the six-hundred-dollar price tag.

  Kayla tugged the leash to pull her little dog back. “Fireball, no.”

  “It’s okay. He’s fine here.” Jaylin stroked the pup’s smooth head and looked back at Tony. “I suppose, technically, I was the one to call it quits. But you already had one foot out the door. You’re not remembering our conversation the night before?”

  His brow furrowed, and Kayla could see the effort it was taking for him to remember.

  She could also see Fireball clambering aboard the handbag, taking way too much interest in the faux fur. “No,” she whispered, tugging the leash again.

  But Jaylin reached down and caught the end closest to Fireball’s collar, tugging the loop out of Kayla’s hand. “It’s okay. He’s just tangled around the bench.” She unwound the leash from the bar and smiled at the dog, offering another ear scratch. “I’ve got you now, buddy. Yes, I do. Who’s a good boy?”

  Fireball wagged again, and Kayla ordered herself to relax. The park was fenced, so he couldn’t go far if Jaylin lost her grip on the leash.

  “What was I saying?” Jaylin looked from Tony to Kayla and back again. “Oh! I was talking about our conversation the night before you left. You remember me asking you what you were looking for?”

  Tony’s expression grew leery, and he glanced at Kayla. “Not really. I’m sorry. I’m such a dick.”

  “You’re not a dick.” Jaylin sounded convincing, and her expression held ample sympathy and zero bitterness. “I asked what it was you were looking for, and you made a crack about a ball-peen hammer you’d lost two years before.”

  That definitely sounded like Tony. “Using humor to deflect a serious question,” Kayla said, quirking a brow at him. “There’s a pattern there.”

  “Certainly,” Jaylin agreed.

  Recognition flickered in Tony’s eyes, even as his brow furrowed. “I never did find that damn hammer.”

  Jaylin laughed, but there was an edge to it. “You knew that wasn’t what I meant.”

  Kayla glanced at Fireball to see him arranging himself atop Jaylin’s bag, ready to hitch a ride. Or ready to—oh, shit.

  Jaylin was still talking, but Kayla wasn’t hearing her anymore. She clapped her hand on the table, doing her best to startle Fireball from his lovefest.

  No response. She tried again, palm cracking against the peeling green paint. It didn’t get the dog’s attention, but it did get Jaylin’s.

  “Everything okay?”

  Kayla opened her mouth to answer, then heard the words play out in her mind.

  Sorry to interrupt your meaningful conversation, but my dog is having sex with your purse.

  “Mosquito,” she fibbed, wiping her palm on her jeans. “I’m sorry—you were saying? Something about how Tony deflected your question with a dumb joke.”

  “Hey—” Tony heaved a sigh. “It wasn’t that dumb.”

  Jaylin smiled and patted his hand. “It was, but that’s okay. I tried again, more seriously. I asked what you were looking for in a romantic relationship.”

  Tony had the good sense to look embarrassed. “Did I say something shitty like ‘blow jobs’ or ‘a really great ass’?”

  Jaylin shook her head a little sadly. “I almost wish you had. Instead, you told me you weren’t sure you saw any point in setting an intention for relationships. That people lose sight of what they want as soon as they’re in one, so what does it matter anyway?”

  “I said that?” Tony frowned. “I mean, I’m sure I said it. It does sound like me.”

  “It does,” Kayla agreed, still struggling to get Fireball’s attention. She didn’t want to derail things with another loud noise, so she focused on shooting her fiercest dog-mom look at Fireball while she kept her attention on Tony. “Do you remember what you meant by that?”

  Jaylin jumped in before Tony had a chance. “I don’t know Tony’s intention, but I’ll tell you how I heard it. It sounded hopeless. Definitely not a guy who saw a future with me.”

  The furrow between Tony’s brows deepened. “That wasn’t how I meant it, exactly.”

  Jaylin cocked her head. “You did see a future?”

  “No. I mean—” He sighed and laid his hands flat on the table, palms down. “I don’t know if I see a future with anyone. That’s the problem, maybe. I think I want that, but when I try to imagine it really happening, I just—I can’t.” He shook his head, sounding every bit as hopeless as she’d said.

  The words—his expression—hit Kayla like a gut punch. Stupid, since she’d had zero indication she and Tony were meant for anything long-term. Still, she couldn’t fight the wave of disappointment washing through her.

  Or her concern that Fireball seemed to be picking up the tempo.

  Christ, she should just say something about the dog. A couple seconds and an awkward titter of laughter was all it would take.

  But Tony started talking again. “I guess my point was that relationships are always bound to go off the rails. Making plans just ensures disappointment.”

  “Pretty sure I saw that on a Hallmark card,” Jaylin said drily, and Kayla adored her even more.

  Not as much as Fireball adored the purse. Should she just let him finish?

  “I’m sorry,” Tony said, and Kayla pulled her attention off the dog. “I don’t blame you a bit for hearing what I said exactly the way you did. It was an asshole thing to say.”

  “But you meant it,” Jaylin said. “Don’t apologize for saying what you mean, unless your ultimate goal is to change your own intentions.”

  “It is,” Tony said softly. “At least, I think it is. That’s why I’m here.”

  “I’m not sure I have the answers you want.” Jaylin reached across the table to put a hand on Tony’s again.

  The movement startled Fireball, who halted his humping and glanced at Kayla. Narrowing her eyes, Kayla gave him the sternest look she could muster and telepathically channeled stop that right now.

  Remarkably, he did.

  Maybe she was getting the knack of this pet-parent thing.

  “You’re doing great,” Jaylin said, and Kayla took a second to realize she meant Tony. “The guy I knew years ago wouldn’t have had the self-awareness to even get this far, so you’ve come a long way.”

  “Maybe not far enough.” He glanced at Kayla. “Not enough to make a difference.”

  “Baby steps,” she said, praying her dog hadn’t done any damage to the expensive handbag. “It’s like that saying about elephants.”

  Tony flicked his gaze to Fireball so fast that Kayla wasn’t sure it really happened. “You mean ignoring the elephant in the room for the sake of the greater good?”

  “What? No.” Kayla shook her head, not sure where she’d gone off track. “The expression about how you eat an elephant—one bite at a time.”

  “That makes so much sense.” Jaylin turned to scratch Fireball’s ears. “Who’s a good doggie?” she cooed as the dog lapped up her affection, the purse all but forgotten now. “You are! Can I get into my purse for a second? There’s a book I want to show them.”

 
With Jaylin’s attention diverted, Kayla ducked under the table to snatch her dog’s leash back. “Let me just grab this from you.”

  “What? Oh, sure.” Jaylin pulled out a tattered hardback, flipping it to show them the cover. “Have you heard of this? Go Get It! The Life You Want, the Love You Need. It’s been life-changing for me.”

  Tony grabbed Kayla’s hand—the one not engaged in dragging Fireball back by the leash. “Yeah, that sounds familiar.”

  “I’ve admired Dr. O’Toole’s work for years,” Jaylin said, flipping it open. “There’s this wonderful section on self-affirmation. You should give it a try sometime.”

  “Good idea.” Tony turned to Kayla, eyes flashing with amusement as he squeezed her hand under the table. “We’ve actually been reading it. Well, Kayla’s reading it. She’s read some stuff out loud to me.”

  “No kidding?” Jaylin flattened her hand on a page and gave Kayla a conspiratorial look. “Have you tried the mirror trick yet?”

  “Mirror trick?” She glanced at the page. “Oh, that’s in chapter eighteen. I haven’t made it that far.”

  “It was really eye-opening for me,” Jaylin said. “It sounds a little hokey, but you should definitely give it a shot.”

  “Thanks. I will.” She glanced at Tony, who was holding Fireball on his lap and well out of trouble. “Did you have any other questions?”

  He stroked his hand down Fireball’s back, considering it. “Why the hell did you put up with me for as long as you did?”

  Kayla expected Jaylin to laugh, to reach for Tony’s hand again. Instead, Jaylin studied him for a few beats. Her gaze shifted to Kayla.

  “Because when you find a guy who’s kind and smart and funny, you’re willing to overlook the less-than-perfect stuff to make it work,” she said. “And if you’re both willing to do that, you’ve got a relationship.” Her gaze swung back to Tony, and she gave a shrug. “If not, you’ve got a goodbye.”

  Jaylin turned back to her, and Kayla held her breath. “You know what I mean, don’t you?”

  Kayla swallowed hard. Had she seen right through her? Did she know how Kayla really felt about Tony?