JUDE: Lords of Carnage MC

by Daphne Loveling

  “Hey, now,” I say, cutting through the crowd to stand next to Lila. “That’s no way to speak to a lady. And from what I saw, you deserved it.”

  “I should get the cobs to arrest her ass!” he yells, eyes wild with pain and rage.

  “Sure, sure,” I agree. “Actually, I wouldn’t mind seein’ that. It’d be pretty entertaining for the crowd, here, watching you explain to the police how you were puttin’ your hands on this woman, and not takin’ no for an answer, so she showed you she could make you take no for an answer. I mean, I’ll grant you, it takes a guy pretty secure in his masculinity to admit he got beat up by a girl half his size.”

  The guy who hooted starts to snicker. “Yeah, Trent, she fucking owned your ass, dude!”

  “Shud the fug up, Andy!” Trent yells.

  “I agree with Andy, Trent,” I say soberly. “She did indeed own your ass.”

  I put my arm around Lila’s shoulder. She’s coiled like a spring, still in defense mode. She barely seems to register my touch, but at least she doesn’t push me away.

  “Well, I think we’ve all learned a lesson here today,” I announce to the crowd in a loud voice. “Don’t fucking touch women who don’t want to be touched. Y’all have a nice day, now. And somebody get Trent a snow cone for that nose.”

  Gently, I lead Lila out of the crowd, bending to scoop up her stuffed lion off the bench. “Come on, babe,” I murmur. “You wanna go do some more games or rides?”

  “No,” Lila seethes. I can almost hear the hum of adrenaline radiating off her. “Let’s just get the hell out of here.”

  Damn. I hate that those assholes ruined her good mood. Part of me wants to go back there and pound the shit out of Trent and all his pussy friends. But I don’t want to take anything away from Lila, and the fact that she handed that guy’s ass to him all on her own.

  Back at the bike, I bungee the lion onto the back of the seat. Lila watches me without a word, standing still and silent as a statue. Straightening, I try to think of something to say to lighten the mood.

  “Damn, girl, I knew you were a powerhouse, but I’ve never seen you in action before,” I joke. “Brooke created a goddamn lethal weapon.”

  I give her a grin, and wait for her to grin back.

  But instead, she bursts into tears.

  “Fuck,” I mutter. Lila covers her face with her hands, and instinctively, I take a step toward her and fold her in my arms. She starts to shake with sobs, her whole body quaking against mine. Too late, I realize the true impact of my words: Lila actually has used lethal force, when she killed Pecher. I know she still struggles with that. And what just happened probably brought back some ugly memories for her.

  Fuck. Dammit to hell.

  I continue to hold Lila as she cries. A few people walk past us in the parking lot, but I shield her from their view. Eventually, she starts to try to talk, in hiccuping breaths. “I’m sorry,” she gasps.

  “Sshhh… Don’t be sorry.” I tighten my hold on her a little, then let up so she doesn’t feel smothered. “That was a hell of a thing to go through back there. You were surrounded, and you slugged your way out.”

  “I just… felt so trapped…” She sucks in a shuddering inhale. “It felt like…”

  “Like when you were trapped in Pecher’s office?”

  Lila tenses. She raises her tear-stained face to mine. Shock is evident in her expression.

  “That’s what it was, wasn’t it?”

  She nods, muffling another sob.

  “You’ve had it damn rough, Lila,” I murmur. “And you can take care of yourself better than anyone I know. But that doesn’t mean you come out of something like that unscathed. No one can.”

  We stay like that, neither of us moving. I look down at her. She looks up at me. She stops crying. She opens her mouth, full lips parting. I can’t help but stare at them.

  “Jude,” she whispers.

  There’s a question in the way she says my name.

  I answer it the only way I know how.

  I bend my face to hers. My lips capture hers. Lila sinks into me. I expect her to pull away, like she did last time I kissed her. But her hands clutch my shoulders and pull me closer to her, almost like she’s trying to disappear into me. The heat of her mouth is intoxicating, the sweet taste of funnel cake still on her tongue.

  This kiss is different. It’s consuming. All the tension in her disappears as she clings to me. I break the kiss and my mouth travels down her neck. I hear myself whispering her name. She lets out a soft moan that’s almost a cry, her head tipping back. She shivers against my lips.

  “Jude,” she whispers again. “I’m…”

  “What?” I know she wants this, but I also know she’s just had a hell of a scare. I pull back, searching her face. I need to know what she wants, what she’s thinking. “What, baby?”

  “I’m…” she swallows. “I’m a virgin.” Slowly, she raises her eyes to mine. “But I don’t want to be.”

  In that second, everything she’s trying to tell me — everything she’s asking me — is clear.

  Now it’s my turn to feel like I’m gonna burst out of my own skin.

  “Let’s head back to the clubhouse,” I tell her hoarsely.

  One more deep, almost desperate kiss later, it’s an effort to keep my cock at bay as I climb on the bike and she settles in behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

  Until recently, I never thought this would happen between us.

  And yet suddenly, it feels like it was inevitable from the start.

  20

  Lila

  I feel conspicuous as hell walking into the clubhouse. Even though I know it’s ridiculous, I feel like everyone’s watching Jude and me. Like everyone can see into my mind and know what filthy, dirty things I’m hoping are about to happen.

  But the Lords are used to seeing us together by now, and everyone knows Jude is guarding me, so other than some shouted greetings and waves, no one seems to pay us much attention. I’m practically sweating with nerves as I open up the door of my apartment and step inside. Jude comes in behind me, and almost before the latch has shut, he’s got me pinned up against the wall, his body pressed against mine.

  I drop the stuffed lion on the floor.

  Jude’s mouth devours mine, in an intense, no-holds-barred kiss that leaves me feeling dizzy enough that I’m glad to be leaning against something sturdy. When his burning lips slide away from my mouth and against my neck, I’m overwhelmed and panting with desire.

  “You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” he growls against my skin.

  I shake my head.

  Jude lifts his head, his eyes locking on mine. This close, I can see the flecks of gold in his blue eyes. There’s a tiny, shiny scar under his left eyebrow. I’m mesmerized by it.

  “Say it.” His voice is husky, demanding.

  “I haven’t changed my mind.” I lick my lips, and his eyes follow the movement. “I want you to. I want to.”

  The air between us seems to crackle. Jude moves his hand behind my head, tilting it, and then his mouth is on mine again, tongue grazing my lower lip. I gasp at the rough but soft contact of it, and the sudden jolt of heat between my legs shocks me. God, how is it possible for an ache to feel this good? I feel my hips thrust forward, seeking something I barely even understand, but when I connect with his hardness the moan that rips from me tells me my body knows more than I do, somehow. It knows what it wants. So much so that I’m suddenly a little frightened of the strength of my desire.

  I touch my tongue against his. He groans, cupping his hand against the back of my head. “God, you taste good,” he breathes, pulling me closer. His hips rock forward and I meet them with my own, the pressure so sweet it blinds me to everything else. I feel a tremor run through me. I’m clinging to Jude, my arms wrapped around his neck, as though he’s the only thing keeping me upright because he is.

  Jude’s hand slips down to my neck, exposing it to his mouth. His tongue is like
flames against my skin as it starts to travel downwards, and by the time he reaches my collarbone my nipples have grown taut, almost painfully so. More and more, my body is becoming nothing but pulsing want under his touch. A noise emerges from my throat, a sort of whine that I barely recognize as me. I feel my breasts arch toward him, as I silently plead with him. Jude doesn’t make me wait. He slips his other hand under my shirt, unclasps my bra, and helps me as I pull out of the straps and yank off my shirt. The sudden chill of the air on my nipples is quickly replaced by the moist heat of his lips, and I gasp and arch toward him again. “Jude,” I moan.

  “Jesus,” he whispers, and begins to tongue the taut buds, first one and then the other. It drives me wild, perfect and perfectly maddening at the same time. It’s not painful… it’s a sensation I don’t have a name for, but I want more and more and more of it, I don’t ever want him to stop making my body feel like this.

  I barely notice when he picks me up in his arms and carries me to the bed. Then I’m lying down and he’s pulling off my jeans and then my panties. The cool air hits my core and I realize I’m soaked. But I don’t have time to be embarrassed because then the mattress sinks and Jude is beside me, his body naked and warm as embers.

  “Tell me yes again,” Jude demands.

  “Yes, Jude. Please…” I beg, molding my body to his. The hot, hard length of him slides between my legs, and Jude slicks himself against me. The velvet heat of him makes me buck against it, and I throw my head back at the perfection of it. I’ve touched myself with slick fingers in the dark before, but I never realized until now that this was what I was wanting, or how much better it would feel. Jude thrusts back against me a few times, then pulls away with a groan. A second later, his fingers slide against me instead, soft and coaxing. He slowly plunges inside me, then out, and slicks my wetness against me.

  “Lila. Look at me,” he breathes, and I realize my eyes are closed. I open them, and as I watch, he pulls his fingers away and raises them to his lips. He sucks my juices from them, gaze locked with mine.

  “I’ve wanted to taste you for so long,” he rasps. “I need to taste you more.”

  I don’t realize what he’s saying until he breaks the gaze and slips down on the mattress, licking and kissing my breasts and stomach as he goes. I inhale sharply, one hand going to his hair to stop him, but he’s between my legs and kissing my thighs before I can yank him back up, and once again my body takes over, angling my hips and tensing for what I hope and fear is about to happen next.

  When his tongue slides between my folds, I let out a guttural sound that’s more animal than human. My thighs spread apart further of their own accord, my whole body desperate for this. Jude pulls back and I whisper, No! and arch toward him, my hand still in his hair. My pussy is throbbing so hard it hurts, and it’s a torture I can barely stand when instead of giving it the attention I need he plunges his tongue inside me instead, drinking my juices. He groans against me, and the vibrations almost but not quite reach where I need them. I can’t stand much more, every cell in my body waiting, needing, wanting like I’ve never wanted before. Finally, when I’m panting and whimpering with every breath, begging Jude silently to put an end to my agony, he slides his tongue from inside me and begins to lap and lave at me, with just enough pressure and just enough everything that suddenly I snap and a wave five-hundred feet high washes over me all at once. I cry out, gravity seeming to fall away all around me.

  Jude’s mouth leaves me as I continue to pulse and gasp. There’s a crinkle of something plastic, and a few moments later, he’s beside me, and suddenly his warm body covers mine and a knife shoots between my legs. Jude’s mouth covers mine, swallowing my pain, and begins to rock against me, gently, until the pain subsides and something takes over. A second wave begins to build as Jude and I breathe together, rock together, and eventually he lets out a low, rough moan and tenses, then comes deep inside me as I vibrate around him, clinging to him like a life raft in an ocean storm.

  It takes a long time for my breathing to slow to something like normalcy. Jude is covering me, still inside me, his breath deep and rhythmic in my ear.

  “God, Lila,” he pants. “You’re fucking amazing.”

  I almost laugh, because I did basically nothing except let myself be carried away by him. But all the same, I can’t help but bathe in the warm glow I feel at his words. I’ve been so worried that I wasn’t good enough — not experienced enough, not sexy enough — for someone like Jude. But even I know that what just happened between us was fantastic. I’ve heard girls at school talk about their first times, and even the ones who pump up their stories to make them sound as good as possible don’t talk about it being like this. As I lie here in Jude’s arms trying to catch my breath, I realize I’m incredibly lucky to have had a first time this good. It makes me wonder whether all the other encounters I’ll have in the future will be disappointing by comparison.

  Jude rolls off me, onto his side, pulling me with him so he’s still inside me. He gives me his trademark lopsided grin, one hand lifting to brush my sweaty hair back from my forehead. “Jesus, you’re sexy,” he breathes.

  I squirm a little under this flattery, even though it makes me happy to hear it.

  “You feel okay?” he asks, brows suddenly knitting. “It didn’t hurt too much?”

  “It did a little, at first,” I admit. “But not for very long. And then…”

  He presses a kiss to my forehead. “And then it felt better?”

  “Yeah.” I duck my head.

  “Yeah, I could tell. You were pretty loud there, toward the end.”

  My cheeks start to flame at the memory of how I lost control. “Don’t tease me,” I shoot back quietly.

  “Hey, Liles.” Jude’s voice turns soft. “I wasn’t teasing you, okay? Don’t be embarrassed. Jesus, don’t ever be embarrassed about that. It makes me feel like the king of the fucking world that I could make you feel like that.” When I don’t respond, he lifts my chin until I meet his eyes. “Okay?”

  I exhale. “Okay. Sorry.” I pause. “I just feel weird that you’ve been with so many people and I haven’t. I don’t mean to be a fucking weirdo about it. And I promise, I’m not gonna turn into some needy freak.”

  Jude doesn’t say anything. I think he’s gonna be happy to hear he doesn’t have to worry I’ll expect him to give me his fucking class ring or something. But instead, his face turns serious.

  “Lila, I’m not gonna think of you as too needy.”

  Shit, now I feel like even more of a weirdo. Who makes a guy have a conversation like this right after sex? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make this weird,” I begin. “Let’s just change the subject, okay?”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Don’t do what?”

  “Don’t push me away. Look, Lila, don’t feel like you have to pretend with me. Sure, I’ve been with other women. But that doesn’t mean you don’t mean anything to me. Okay? I like you. A lot. I ain’t gonna turn around and fuck someone else in three hours.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. I’m mortified that he feels like he has to even talk about this, whether he’s lying or not. So I do the only thing I can think of, and try for a joke.

  “Three hours? You’d need more time than that to recover anyway,” I tease.

  Jude snorts. “You don’t know me very well. Just you wait.”

  Just then, a thump at the foot of the bed makes me yelp in surprise, until I realize it’s the cat jumping up. “Spike!” I cry, patting the comforter. “I actually forgot you were here.”

  Spike squints at Jude a little warily, but after a moment comes over to lie between us. I caress the sides of his face, and he rubs against my hand. “Check out how well Spike is doing,” I brag to Jude. “He’s getting a real food belly. Actually, that reminds me, I need to get to the store for some more.”

  Jude holds out his hand for Spike to sniff, brows knit. “Are you sure Spike’s a him?” he asks me.

  �
��I mean, pretty sure,” I answer, realizing I just assumed he was. “Why?”

  “Because I think he’s pregnant.”

  21

  Jude

  Okay, I’ll admit it. After sleeping with Lila for the first time, I get kinda freaked out.

  Not because I regret it. Hell to the no. It was better than I thought it would be by about a million times. Take all the other women I’ve fucked together, and I’d trade them all for just one night with that girl. I can’t wait to do it again. As often as possible, in fact.

  But the fact remains that I just slept with my VP’s foster daughter, sorta. I’m the person who’s supposed to be keeping Lila safe, and I’m pretty sure Beast won’t think fucking her is doing that, strictly speaking.

  It ain’t like I’m gonna stop, though. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. But I don’t plan to broadcast it to the club, either.

  We mostly keep it to one of our apartments for the next few days — trying as hard as we can to keep the noise down. But that doesn’t mean I don’t grab her and duck into an unoccupied corner of the clubhouse more than a few times. Lila’s more than down for it. I know she didn’t have any experience before me, but Jesus Christ, you’d never guess it by how she moves. The first blow job she gives me, I come so hard I see stars. Every time we’re alone, it takes me about three seconds before I’m half-drunk on lust and the desire to see the way Lila’s plump lips part in an “oh” of surprise right before she orgasms.

  I take her one night in the darkened game room, with the rest of the my brothers just a wall away. My cock is so hard when Lila palms it through my jeans that I don’t even know if I’ll manage to get a condom on it in time. Her shorts are off in an instant, and I pull her down on the arm of the couch as she spreads her legs wide for me, whispering my name. I enter her, and her hips grind against mine, both of us starving for each other even though it’s only been a few hours since the last time. Her teeth dig into my bottom lip as I pump myself into her, and just as she starts to shudder, I stiffen and then empty myself into her with a long groan, somehow knowing that the whole world would be right if I can just keep doing this with this girl forever.