Violets are not Blue

by Melissa Toppen

  Normal...

  I’m not even sure what that looks like anymore.

  “Hey.” Hannah slides up next to my cubicle, extending a coffee from my favorite café down the street. “Peace offering?” She smiles, shoving the cup into my hand.

  “Peace offering? I didn’t realize we were at war.” I chuckle, turning to set the coffee next to my keyboard.

  “I think I might have overstepped on Friday. I blame the alcohol but we both know it’s just a byproduct of my inability to mind my own business.”

  “You didn’t overstep. You were just trying to help.”

  “And yet I always think helping you is making you see things my way. It shouldn’t be that way. You’re a grown woman and I think by now you know who you are and what you want out of life. I need to be more supportive of that.”

  “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  “I just...I don’t know. I guess I’m jealous. I want so desperately for someone to look at me the way Harris looks at you. I can’t help but think you’re making a mistake by letting him go. But if I step back and look at it objectively, I get it. You’re not interested in a long-term commitment and you know what, that’s okay. There are tons of people who live their entire lives that way. So I guess I just wanted to say that I’ll try to be more understanding and I love you, no matter what.”

  “I love you, too.” I stand, wrapping my best friend in a tight hug.

  “Are those from Harris?” she asks, eyeballing the flowers over my shoulder.

  “Who else?” I shake my head as I take a step back. “The man certainly likes sending flowers.”

  “This is what–? The third time he’s sent them?”

  “The fourth actually.” I snort out a laugh.

  “I think it’s sweet.”

  “It is. Harris is... surprising. I’ll give him that. I thought I knew exactly who he was, but after the last three weeks I’m starting to realize I didn’t know anything.”

  “I don’t want to be the one to say I told you so,” she starts but I cut her off.

  “Then don’t.” I slide back down into my chair. “Have you spoken to Everett at all?” I ask.

  The two parted ways with nothing more than a hug on Friday night. I was really surprised when Hannah got out of the Uber at my apartment rather than staying with him. The two had some serious sparks flying.

  “He texted that he made it home safely.” She tries to hide her smile.

  “You like him.”

  “I do. Too bad he lives thousands of miles away.”

  “Yeah, that stinks.”

  “It’s just my luck. I finally meet a guy that is the whole package and we’re separated by a freaking ocean.”

  “Life can be cruel like that sometimes.”

  “Anyway, I gotta get to work. I’ll see you at our ten o’clock meeting.”

  “Okay, sounds good,” I say, watching her turn. “And thank you for the coffee.”

  “Welcome.” She calls back, throwing me a wave over her shoulder before she disappears inside her cubicle two rows over from mine.

  ——

  “I missed you this weekend,” Harris says seconds before he presses into me from behind.

  “You saw me Friday,” I remind him, pulling my cup of Ramen out of the microwave when it beeps.

  “That was three days ago.” His lips press to the side of my neck and I find myself unintentionally leaning into his touch.

  My head has been so all over the place recently. One minute I want to keep my distance because I think that’s the smartest play. The next all I want to do is pull Harris into the supply closet and screw his brains out. I’m so up and down I can barely keep up with myself.

  “Come over tonight,” he mumbles against my skin and I swear my entire body comes to life.

  “Okay,” I agree without much thought. If there’s one thing I’m going to miss the most about Harris, it’s having him in bed. His skill is so far beyond anyone else I’ve ever been with that it’s almost laughable.

  “I’m thinking we should order in. What are you in the mood for?”

  “Hmm.” I turn in his arms to face him. “How about you surprise me?”

  “I can do that.” He smiles and I can’t ignore the rush of excitement that swirls through me.

  “I have to go to the gym after work and I need to call my mom to check in. What time were you thinking?”

  “I didn’t really have a time in mind. Maybe I’ll join you at the gym and we can head to my place together. You could call your mom on the way to my house.”

  “We can do that,” I agree. As distracting as Harris is at the gym, he makes for some damn fine eye candy. Working out has never been as enjoyable as it is when Harris goes with me.

  “How is your dad doing?”

  “Really good. He’s pretty much back to his old self. Though he’s not really happy with the new diet my mom put him on. He says she’s starving him.”

  “Poor guy.” He chuckles, making no attempt to back away when Patti walks in.

  I catch her surprised expression which quickly morphs into a smile as she crosses the break room.

  Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, I turn, grab my food off the counter, and head to the long rectangular table in the center of the room.

  Harris follows me over but doesn’t sit down.

  “I’ve got a lunch meeting with John that I have to get to. I’ll meet you at your desk at five and we can walk over to the gym?”

  “Yeah, that sounds good.” I stiffen when he leans down and kisses my forehead.

  It’s not that I mind him kissing my forehead. What I mind is him doing it at work. It’s not the first time he’s shown me affection here, but it is the first time he’s done it blatantly in front of one of our co-workers. I don’t want Patti to get the wrong impression and have everyone at work thinking Harris and I are dating, because we’re not. Okay, we kind of are, but we’re not at the same time. At least not after Friday.

  “I’ll see you later.” He steps back.

  “Okay.” I nod.

  “Hey, Patti.” He directs his attention to the woman as she re-emerges from the refrigerator with a lunchbox in her hand. “I emailed you the new process doc we’re trying to nail down. If you have time this afternoon could you please look it over and let me know if there’s anything you’d like to add or if you see any potential issues with what we’ve laid out?”

  “I sure will,” she readily agrees, taking the seat across from me at the table.

  “Awesome. Thank you.” He smiles that charming smile of his and I watch Patti melt a little.

  Moments later he exits the room.

  “So, you and Harris.” She gives me a little smile. “I had my suspicions.”

  “Oh, we’re not together.”

  “No?” She cocks her head to the side and studies me for a long moment.

  “No. We’re just friends.”

  “So the flowers on your desk this morning weren’t from him?” The way she says it makes me feel like she already knows they were, and because of this I don’t want to flat out lie.

  “They were. He got them for me because he knows I’m going through a rough time with my dad’s heart attack and all. He’s really thoughtful like that.”

  She considers my words as she bites into her lunchmeat sandwich.

  “Well, he certainly doesn’t do that for everyone. And, if you two are together, you know it’s not a big deal, right? It’s not like either of you report to each other.”

  “I know that. But we aren’t together.”

  “Okay, then.” She takes another bite of her sandwich.

  I can tell she wants to say more, and while a part of me wants to know what she’s thinking, the other part of me is relieved when she drops the topic of Harris all together. “Did you see they’re putting in another bar and grill on the corner?”

  “Oh yeah?” I swirl my fork around in my noodles, my appetite suddenly nowhere to be found.

  “I was
thinking about suggesting we do our next team building thing there, but I’m not sure if it will be open in time.”

  “That’s this Friday, isn’t it?”

  “Actually, I don’t think they’re doing one this month because of the company picnic being Wednesday. It’s pretty cool that we get paid for a full day when half of that time we will be grilling out and playing softball.”

  “Are you playing?” I ask, shoveling a bite into my mouth.

  “No.” She shakes her head. “Ever since I had kids, I can’t run without peeing myself a little.”

  I can’t help but laugh.

  “I’m serious. Just wait until you have children one day. They completely wreck your bladder.”

  “Well, I’m not planning on ever having kids so I don’t think that will be an issue for me.”

  “You don’t want children?” She seems surprised by this news, as if someone not wanting children is a foreign concept.

  “No. I love kids, don’t get me wrong. But I like them better when they belong to other people.”

  “I totally get that. Sometimes I wish I could give mine away.” She smiles. “Okay, not really, but they do drive me up the wall from time to time.” She giggles. “Oh who am I kidding, they drive me up the wall all the time.”

  I spend the rest of my lunch break listening to Patti tell me about all the crazy things her kids pull. They’re ten and thirteen, and from what I can tell, are quite the handful. I know I was at that age, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

  I spot Harris and John leaving as I head back to my desk. I assumed they would already be gone but something must have held one of them up.

  Harris looks back toward my cubicle as he and John wait for the elevator. When he sees me, his demeanor shifts and his entire face lights up.

  It’s impossible not to smile.

  You know what else is impossible? Thinking about next week. Knowing that whatever this is we’re doing will be over and he will likely never look at me that way again.

  It’s a sobering thought and one I’m not quite sure I’m ready to accept yet.

  ——

  “What are you doing?” I prop up on my elbows in bed to get a better view of Harris’ bare backside as he rummages through his closet.

  “Trying to find...” He reaches into a box. “Here they are,” he announces, reemerging moments later holding two baseball gloves.

  “Seriously. You got out of bed and started digging through your closet naked to get those?”

  “What? Isn’t this a good look for me?” He slides a glove on one hand and holds it over his impressive package, striking a pose.

  I let my head drop back onto the pillow as laughter rumbles through me. “You are too much.”

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He drops the gloves onto his nightstand before crawling back into bed, moving toward me like he’s a wild animal stalking his prey.

  “I’m learning there’s not much you don’t take as a compliment.” I try to keep my voice even as he tears back the covers, his eyes doing a hungry sweep over my body.

  “I know my strengths.” He crawls on top of me, nudging my legs open to rest his hips between them.

  “You are way too cocky for your own good.”

  “Confidence, not cockiness.”

  “Is there a difference?” I bark out another laugh but it quickly dies away when I feel his hard erection rock against my core.

  “There is. Cockiness is thinking you’re the best at everything. Confidence is knowing what you’re good at. Take this for example.” He slides inside of me in one quick movement. I gasp, unprepared for the onslaught of pleasure that shoots through me. “This,” he pulls almost all the way out and then thrusts back into me, “is something I know I’m good at.” He moans, rocking back before barreling into me again.

  “Harris.” I can’t stop his name from falling from my lips. He’s not wrong, this is something he is very, very good at.

  ——

  “Good morning.” I hear Harris’ voice at the same moment I feel his hand slide up my bare back.

  My eyes flutter open and a lazy smile tugs at my mouth.

  “Good morning,” I say, making no attempt to move.

  “We need to get up and shower before work.” He presses a kiss to my shoulder.

  Work. Shit.

  I whip up so abruptly that I nearly head butt Harris in the process.

  “What time is it?” I scramble to my feet, scouring the floor for my clothes, which are strewn all over the place. I hadn’t intended on staying the night, but I must have fallen asleep sometime after round three. Though who can blame me? I was exhausted.

  “Just after seven.”

  “Seven?” My panic increases. “I have to be at work in an hour.” I snag my panties off the floor and quickly slide them on.

  “You’ve got time. Come here.” He rolls to his back and holds his arms out for me.

  “I can’t be late today. I have a meeting with a client first thing this morning.”

  “You won’t be late. We can shower and grab breakfast before we head over together.” He drops his arms to his side when he realizes I’m not getting back into bed with him.

  “Are you forgetting the part where I don’t have any clothes here? It’s not like I can show up wearing this,” I say as I slide on the leggings and long tee I changed into after the gym. I don’t even bother with my bra, mainly because I have no idea where it is.

  “I don’t know. I think you look pretty cute.” He smiles at me and I’ve half a mind to chuck a pillow at his head for being so damn chipper this early in the morning.

  “Shut it. I gotta go.” I slide on my flats and head for the door.

  “Hey, wait!” he calls after me but I don’t stop. I have to get home and pray I have enough time to freshen up and do something with my hair before heading to work.

  Harris catches up to me right as I reach the door.

  “Don’t I get a goodbye kiss?”

  I turn, ready to tell him he’s wasting precious time that I don’t have, but the sight of him standing there, butt naked, wearing his normal flirty smile, completely shifts my mood.

  “You’re so infuriating,” I point out, pressing up on my tip toes to kiss him.

  “That’s better.” He chuckles, smacking my ass as I turn back toward the door. “I’ll see you at work.”

  “Okay,” I respond, already halfway out the door. “See you then.”

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Harris

  “You ready for this?” I slide up next to Blue who’s standing off to the side of the softball field looking extremely apprehensive.

  “Not even a little bit.” She forces a smile, tugging at the hem of her red t-shirt that she paired with tight, black athletic pants that show off every curve.

  “You’ll do fine. It’s just a friendly game of softball between co-workers,” I reassure her. “Plus, have you looked around at some of the people that are playing? There’s no way you’re going to be the worst one on the field.”

  “That’s debatable. I’m not the most coordinated person in the world. I typically struggle when I play something that includes balls.”

  My lips twitch as I fight to contain my smile.

  “I don’t know.” I lean in closer. “You play with me pretty fucking good.” I watch a pink hue spread across her cheeks which only serves to amuse me more. “You really are adorable, you know that?” I give her ponytail a little tug.

  “Hey guys.” Hannah bounces up next to us, also wearing a red shirt, though hers is a racer back tank rather than a tee.

  All they told us was you had to wear a shirt in your teams’ color, but there were no other specifications on attire. I guess they just assume people know what is appropriate and what isn’t. Then again, this probably isn’t the first company picnic/softball game they’ve all been to. Most of these people have been with the company for years, whereas I just completed my seventh month.

  �
��Hey.” I nod my head in Hannah’s direction.

  “Well, you ready for this?” Hannah asks Blue the exact same question that I asked her less than two minutes ago.

  “Not really, but there’s not much I can do about it now. I just really don’t want to embarrass myself. I swear if either of you laughs at me I’ll never speak to you again.”

  “Relax.” I bump her shoulder with mine. “No one is going to laugh at you.”

  “There’s a reason that I’ve never signed up to play before. I would much rather be over there, cheering everyone on.” She gestures to the small silver bleachers that sit directly behind home plate, protected by a tall fence.

  “Truthfully, I’m surprised I got you to agree,” Hannah interjects, tying her auburn hair up in a ponytail.

  “You got me on a weak day.” Blue huffs. “I didn’t have the energy to argue with you about it that day. For the tenth year in a row.”

  “Maybe that was the point. After all these years you would think you’d know me better.” Hannah hits her with a toothy smile before sashaying toward the bench where most of our team has already started to congregate.

  Ten minutes later, we all filter onto the field. Red team had just enough players to form a complete team, which means Blue’s hope of sitting on the bench went out the window real fast. Trevor and I worked together to assign positions and I purposely stuck Blue in left field, thinking she’ll get the least amount of action out there.

  The first inning is painless. The blue team went out one, two, three, and nothing went Blue’s way. When we switched, our team got four hits and two runs before getting our third out, and because Blue is at the end of the lineup, she didn’t have to bat.

  “You made it through one inning,” I shout encouragingly to her as she passes me on her way back to left field.

  “Just eight more to go,” she hollers back, not nearly as amused as me.

  The second and third innings are much the same. Blue struck out in the second, but she looked damn good doing it. She even managed to throw in a ball that landed in left center and stopped a double from turning into a triple. All in all she wasn’t doing half bad.

  By the fourth inning, our team is up five to zero and because Blue is one of the last to bat and I’m one of the first, when I step up to the plate she’s watching me from her spot on third base. Knowing it will probably help her confidence if she’s able to score, I make it my mission to at least get a single so that I can bring her in. It doesn’t matter if she gets there by being walked. A run is still a run.