Into dark water

by Regina Bartley

  “Give me a beer,” I told Jett. “I don’t care what time it is.”

  “Chill man,” he said, opening the cooler.

  When the girls came out of the tent Jett looked at me. “Fuck. I guess I’ll need one too.”

  Two very small pieces of material were the only thing that kept people from seeing her tits. That’s it.

  I should’ve bought a case of beer. It was going to be a long damn night.

  “God she’s hot,” Jett said. The two of us had grabbed a spot near the water, while the girls were both lying out on their towels. They were the only two girls at the whole party with books in their hands.

  “You better be talking about Lola.” I warned.

  “So you do have a thing for Jenny.”

  “Can you believe it?” I joked, sipping my beer.

  Jett shook his head. “I never thought I’d see the day when a girl stole your heart. Hell, I didn’t even know you had a heart.”

  “Good one.”

  We sat there sipping our beers and watching the girls, while the rest of the class were playing football and hanging out. It was clear that our solid group of four didn’t fit in anywhere at this place. We were the outcasts of the class of 17’, and we liked it that way.

  A group of classmates made an announcement to start inflating our mattresses if we were competing in the race. The race had to be finished before dark for safety reasons.

  “You going to blow them up for us Draven?” Jenny called out to me. “We all know you’re full of hot air.”

  The three of them got a good laugh out of that one.

  “I don’t know why you’re laughing, Man.” I lifted my head at Jett. “If they’re looking for the best blower, then it’s definitely you.”

  Both the girls were laughing their asses off. It made me wish that the four of us had gotten more time to hang out. We would’ve had a blast. It sucked that we just got to know each other. The four of us had been going to school together for a long time, well the three of us anyway. I think Jenny told me that Lo moved here in middle school if I remember correctly. I block out anything middle school related. That was a very rough time in my life.

  We had one hand pump between us, and we had to blow up two full size mattresses. By the time we got them aired up, we were going to be too tired to race.

  A girl with a microphone stood up on a picnic table, and I tapped Jenny’s shoulder to get her attention. The girl’s voice came through a loudspeaker telling everyone to grab his or her partner, and their mattress and get to the water’s edge.

  It was only about thirty minutes until dusk so we needed to get a move on.

  We set the mattress in the water right at the edge. Lo and Jett were to the left of us.

  “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Jenny asked me.

  “No. But how hard can it be? I’ll hold it steady so you can get on first. We have to lay down on our stomachs.”

  “Okay,” her eyes were wide, and I could tell she was nervous.

  “It’ll be fine. I won’t let you fall.”

  I could hear laughter surround us as everyone was trying to steady themselves on their mattresses. Jenny climbed out into the water and slowly made her way onto the float. It was a bit unsteady and she held on for dear life.

  “Scoot up just a little. We’ll use our arms to paddle.” I told her

  She adjusted, and I climbed on beside her.

  “You scared?”

  “A little,” she replied. “Don’t let us fall.”

  “Never,” I told her.

  The race started with a bang. The two of us paddled like crazy. It was a lot harder than it looked. Trying to keep balanced while paddling was quite the workout. Water was splashing up all over us, and people were running into us. It would give us something to laugh about one day, but in the moment it was crazy as hell.

  Jenny was doing pretty well, considering she had chicken arms. There was no chance in hell we were going to win, but we tried. We were only halfway across when screams erupted. Our heads snapped up, and we realized that Lo and Jett had won.

  “What the hell?” Jenny yelled. “How’d they do that?”

  “If I knew, it would be us in the winner’s circle right now.”

  “True that,” she said. She rested her head on the mattress facing my direction. “I really don’t work out enough.”

  We let ourselves rest instead of trying to finish the race. There was no use trying to get to the other side. We were already losers.

  I brushed my hand against her cheek to move the hair away from her face, and she flinched. The same way that she had done the last time.

  “Why do you keep doing that?” I snapped. The beers must’ve kicked in, because my filter was gone.

  “What?” There was a stressed look in her eyes.

  “You pull away every time I try to touch you.”

  “I don’t know.”

  I was going to get some real answers from this girl. We were in the middle of the lake and we had nowhere to go. She had to talk to me unless she wanted to go for a swim.

  “I want to know what you’re really thinking. Tell me the truth. Do you hate me now? I mean after we had sex.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this, Draven.”

  “Well, I do.”

  “Don’t be an ass,” she told me.

  “I’m not! I’m being honest. I should’ve told you the truth a long time ago.” I rebutted.

  “What truth? I’m pretty sure you already told me.” Her head shook as she argued with me. “The sex meant nothing, and you didn’t want a relationship. Am I leaving anything out?” I could see the anger all over her face. “Oh, wait. You also made it known to Tyler that we had sex, so that the whole student body could be in on it.”

  “I apologized for that.”

  “And that’s supposed to make it better. Take me back to camp,” she said, turning her head away from me.

  “No. I have stuff to say to you too.”

  She started to paddle with her arms, so I started paddling against her. All we were doing was making one big circle. It was kind of funny actually and it made her laugh too. Thank goodness, because we sure needed something to lighten the mood.

  “Say it,” she told me. “Whatever you need to say to make yourself feel better, just say it. I’m not going to lay here with you doing circles all night.”

  I could feel my chest constricting and my heart rate picked up. I had to tell her the truth. I might never get the chance again. But first I had to know something.

  “Did the sex mean anything to you?” I asked her. “Please be honest with me.”

  I thought we were going to sit in silence for the night. I could tell she was fighting herself. But I waited for her to say what she was feeling. I needed to know before I could say anything else.

  “It did mean something to me.”

  I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders.

  “It did to me too. I didn’t realize it then, because I had all these crazy things in my head,” I rambled. “But I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

  “So you liked it. So what.”

  “What I’m trying to say is…” Suddenly I couldn’t speak. I felt clammy and nervous, like I was about to speak in front of a really large crowd. Only it was just Jenny and me.

  “Really, Lepage,” she rolled her eyes. “The man who has everything to say is suddenly speechless. Just get me back to dry land already.”

  “Shut up, woman.” I used my free hand to pull her to me and pressed my lips against hers. I’d been waiting to taste those lips again for a long, long time.

  “Don’t,” she said when she pulled back. “I can’t do this again.”

  “I love you.” I blurted out the words like they were the last ones I had. “I’m in love with you. I didn’t know it that night when we had sex, but I realized not long after that I only want you. My heart is yours if you’ll have me. I don’t even know if you share the same feelings, but I had to te
ll you.”

  “I’m leaving for New York in a few weeks.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “I’m sorry, but you were mad at me, and I was just getting you back in my good graces. I was scared to say anything, and have you shut me down. I don’t take rejection well.”

  “I was in love with you long before the sex, and I pretended not to be.” She smirked like there was something funny about it. “How’s that for rejection?”

  “Don’t mess with me?” I shook my head.

  “I’m not,” she replied. “It almost broke me that night I slept with you, and you said you didn’t do relationships. But stupid me gave in, because I wanted you. I made one idiotic mistake after another.”

  “I’m sorry, Jenny. I really am. I want to be with you. I didn’t think you’d ever have someone like me in your life. I’m nothing compared to you. I come from the most fucked up family imaginable, and you have the perfect family. We’re night and day. Oil and water!”

  “I can’t believe you’re telling me this now.”

  I took her hand in mine. “If I didn’t have all this beer in me, I might not have. I’m running on liquid courage.”

  “What do you want me to say?” Her voice was strained.

  “I just want to know that you’re in love with me too.”

  “Shut up.” She told me and I closed my mouth tight. Then she kissed me. I felt like I had all the answer I needed. But it would’ve been nice to hear the words back.

  We pulled away, and I noticed that we were getting closer to the shore. Nightfall had set in, and it was just the two of us still out on the water.

  “Let’s jump,” I told her.

  “In the water?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded my head. “Want to have another adventure with me?

  I maneuvered so that I was kneeling on the mattress. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to stay on.

  “You’re completely nuts,” she said, but she kneeled right beside me. I loved that about her. She was ready and willing. Or at least I thought she was.

  “On the count of three we are going to stand up. Try to keep steady.” I flashed her a grin, and she gave me a nod.

  “One… Two… Three…”

  Jenny

  “Do you trust me?” Draven asked.

  I reached for and grabbed his cold hand. The water was dark, the sky only lit by the graying moon. My lips shivered, my heart was beating immensely, but I held on tightly to his hand. It was my last chance. We sink or swim.

  “I do,” I told him. “I love you, Draven.”

  The mattress shook between us, as we jumped off into the dark, cold water.

  I’d never felt more alive than I did in that moment.

  I came up out of the water laughing, and quickly pulled myself back onto the mattress. Draven came up from the water and swam over to the mattress. He gave me a kiss as he held onto the side.

  “Don’t go all Titanic on me, Jenny. I know there is enough room on that mattress for the both of us.”

  “Seriously, enough with the movies already. Sheesh. I’ve created a monster.”

  “Do you really love me?” He asked kicking the water with his feet. I hated that he’d been so unloved his whole life that he couldn’t see the truth –how much I cared.

  “I really do. It scares the hell out of me, but I do.”

  “You jumped into dark water with me.” He flashed me the cutest smile.

  “I guess I did.” I kissed the dimple on his cheek. “And I’d do it again.”

  Draven didn’t climb up on mattress with me.

  Instead, he drowned in the icy cold water.

  Just kidding.

  He paddled us both to shore, and the two of us shared an amazing night in our tent. I left all of my insecurities in the water, and we didn’t talk anymore about me leaving. It wasn’t a place that I was ready to go to yet. I just wanted us to have a minute to be in love before everything blew up in our faces. We needed to get through graduation, and we needed to spend as much time together as we could. Pretty soon it would all be gone.

  That night, just before we fell asleep, I whispered to Draven, “you’ll give me a reason to come back.”

  He whispered back to me, “You’ll give me a reason to leave.”

  Sixty-eight days seemed like a lifetime to be stuck in the hellhole of a town, but it wasn’t enough time with Draven.

  Draven

  It had been sixty-eight days since Jenny came into my life. I’d known her a lot longer than that. But we were just kids then. Now we were graduating from school, and growing up. I felt very sentimental about the whole thing, especially as we sat there in our caps and gowns.

  Jenny’s parents were sitting in the bleachers cheering us on, and I wondered where I would be without them in my life. They’d given me so much.

  When Jenny and I told them about what happened at the lake, I thought they’d be mad. We had just spent the entire night together in a tent. Of course, we left out those minor details. They weren’t angry at all. They were thrilled for us. They were polar opposites of what I knew parents to be.

  Jack Lepage was no role model. There were times when I still had nightmares about him. I even had to keep the T.V. on when I slept to avoid the quiet. Steve Pearson was completely different than my real father. So many times I wish they would’ve found me earlier, but then I probably wouldn’t have ended up with Jenny. It’s funny how things work out.

  I looked up into the crowd to find them, and gave them both a wave from afar. They’d never know how much they meant to me.

  Just before we lined up to walk in, I slipped Jenny a little note I’d written to her. We’d been so busy that I didn’t get to tell her the plan I worked out with her Dad. I was going to tell her in the tent at the lake, but one thing led to another. We spent that night and several others wrapped in each other’s arms.

  When I glanced back I saw her looking down at her lap. I was so excited to see her reaction that I almost missed the cue to stand and walk. She was still reading, so I wasn’t able to see her face until I’d accepted my diploma and was making my way back off stage.

  She had tears in her eyes and she mouthed the words –I love you.

  Yes. I was winning in the boyfriend department.

  The ceremony seemed to drag on and on. I was waiting for the moment when I could throw my cap in the air and take Jenny in my arms.

  The hoopla of it all was too much. Just give us our damn diplomas and let us be on our way.

  Jenny’s parents and her brother were waiting for the two of us when it was finally over.

  Jenny whispered in my ear. “I want to talk to you soon.”

  I couldn’t wait. We took a hundred pictures between us, and a family shot with everyone including me before I finally got the chance to be alone with her.

  She looked so pretty with her hair curled, and wearing that little blue dress. She always looked pretty, but there was something sweet and innocent about her today. It made me have not so sweet and innocent thoughts.

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’ve been stressing the hell out.” She playfully smacked my arm.

  “We wanted to be sure that I could be transferred. Your Dad really helped me out.” I explained. “It was only just recently I found out that they could transfer me to a company closer to you.

  “You’re going to work at SMK. I can’t believe it. I seriously can’t believe it.”

  SMK was the brewery that Steve worked for here in Borders. They had several plants all over the country including one in New York.

  “They told me if I put in my ninety days in this plant, then I could be transferred to the New York plant, which is only about a thirty minute bus ride from NYU. It will be the longest ninety days ever, but I’ll be in the Big Apple with you in no time.”

  “That’s incredible.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me right there, in front of everyone. I could remember a time when she didn’t want to be not
iced in public. Boy how things had changed. “I love you,” she said to me.

  “I love you too, Jenny baby.”

  There was still darkness inside me, but my heart was light when I was with her.

  If she’d have me forever, I’d love her every second of it.

  “You want to do something adventurous?” I asked her.

  “What’d you have in mind?” She glanced up at me. Her arms were still locked behind my neck.

  “Let’s go paintballing.”

  She laughed out loud and kissed my lips. “Let’s do it.”

  THE END

  FIVE-YEAR REUNION

  Jenny

  “Can you believe that not one single thing has changed here? The damn picnic tables still need painting,” I told Lo, as I locked arms with her. I never thought I’d ever come back to Borders High for any reason. I guess I’d forgotten about class reunions.

  “It still smells like shit too,” she replied. “I really hated this place.”

  “Me too,” I admitted. “Except for senior year.”

  “Yeah,” she rested her head on my shoulder. “Senior year was a lot of fun. Difficult at times, but fun.”

  “Wait up, ladies,” Draven’s voice called out, and I turned around to see his beautiful face. The years had been good to him. He had this beard thing happening and I loved it.

  He rushed up to meet us and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

  Jett wasn’t too far behind.

  He and Lo were still together. They hooked up during Senior Night and had been together ever since. He even moved to Florida to be with her after they spent the first year doing the long distance thing.

  Draven was able to keep his word to me. After ninety days with SMK he moved to New York to be with me. The company paid to relocate him, and set him up in this tiny studio apartment. That was where we spent most of our time. I had a room on campus, but I barely ever stayed there.