Into dark water

by Regina Bartley

  “I get it.” I told her. “I really am sorry about what happened. I never meant to hurt you like that. I hope you believe me.”

  “I do.”

  “What’s going to happen after graduation? You just going to pack up and leave, never look back?”

  “That’s the plan,” she nodded. “Ever since I can remember, all I have ever wanted was to get out of this town. I know my parent’s are here, and my mom tells me all the time that things are the same no matter where you go. But I need to experience it for myself. No one out there knows me. I’m allowed to do and say whatever I think,” she said with conviction. “Who cares if those people judge me? I have to have the experience. You can’t appreciate what you really have until you don’t have it. I guess I’m hoping that I’ll miss Borders, and that one day I’ll want to come back. But I doubt it.”

  I closed my eyes tightly. I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t expect her to give up anything for me. I was nobody, and I had nothing to offer her.

  “I understand.”

  “You do?” She asked, looking up at me.

  I nodded.

  She surprised me when she rested her head on my chest. She had to know that people were going to talk about us, yet she did it anyway.

  I may not have gained her love, but I had gained her friendship. That void feeling was still in my chest, despite it. I wanted more than her friendship and I’d likely never have it. You can’t reach for the stars, if the chains are too tight.

  “I hope that you get everything you want, Jenny. You deserve to have it all. It’s only the beginning for you.”

  She sniffled and I wrapped my arms tighter around her.

  We spent the next two songs on the dance floor just like that. I don’t know if the music was fast or slow, and I didn’t care. I kept hold of her for as long as I could.

  Jenny

  “I don’t want to hear one complaint out of you missy. You spent forty-five minutes slow dancing with Draven. Half of those songs were not even slow.” Lo was in a bit of a nagging mood the morning after. Her prom date turned out to be a real drag.

  Prom wasn’t so bad after all. Being wrapped in his arms made everything a little bit more tolerable. I knew people would notice, but with two weeks left until graduation, I quit caring so much.

  “Fine,” I admitted. “I ended up having a decent time, but that doesn’t change anything. I still think we should’ve just dressed up, and went out. We could’ve skipped the whole thing altogether. We could’ve found something else to do in town. Like prom bowling, or prom movies.”

  “You’re so full of crap.” She said tossing something at me from across my room.

  I seriously loved her, and I knew that if I really had wanted to skip prom, she would’ve been right by my side.

  “I can’t believe tomorrow is already Senior Skip Day.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You know I’m not going to skip right?” She could hate me all she wanted. She was on her own for skip day. If there were ever a good day to go to school, it was skip day. I could have the entire library to myself.

  “I know,” she replied. She plopped down on my bed, and offered me a serious look. “You already got into college. You know you don’t have to go tomorrow. What’s the point anyway? No one will be there.”

  “I know.” I beamed, letting out a sigh of relief. “All the more reason to go.”

  “You’re such a nerd.”

  I batted my lashes. “And you love me for it.”

  “True,” she pulled me in for a hug. “I’m going to go take a shower, because my pits are stinky, then I say we have an all-night marathon of One Tree Hill. We can watch from the very beginning.”

  I laughed. “Okay, but some of us have school tomorrow. So don’t blame me if I fall asleep before season two.”

  ***

  I stayed up way too late. When I padded into the kitchen the next morning, I found Draven at the table with a bowl of cereal, or the whole box. He had a bowl the size of my head.

  “Can I ride with you this morning?” He asked me. “I don’t have any gas in my car.”

  “You’re going to school? You do know it’s skip day, right?”

  “I don’t want to go, but I still have to pass my finals, and I don’t want to give any of those teachers a reason to fail me. I figured I’d better suck it up and go. We only have a couple of weeks left.”

  “That’s smart actually,” I narrowed my eyes before sipping my coffee.

  “What, like its hard?” His voice sounded girly and I realized he was movie quoting again.

  “You’ve really got to get away from the T.V.” I rolled my eyes.

  He laughed. It was too damn early for happy moods.

  “Good morning kids. I’m glad to see the two of you up for school this morning, seeing as it’s senior skip day.” Mom smiled. It was too much for a Monday morning.

  I groaned. “Lo is upstairs in my bed. She’s not going today, so I’m leaving her there. She has a key, so if you’re not home when she gets up, she’ll lock the door.”

  “Okay, dear,” she said. “Her mom knows she isn’t going right?”

  “Yep.” I nodded. “I’m leaving in ten minutes,” I told Draven. “I need a latte from Maxwell’s.”

  “I’m ready when you are, Grumpy Butt.”

  He and my mom shared a good laugh over that one. I’m sorry, but I hated waking up for school when I only had a few hours of sleep, especially on a Monday. It also didn’t help that the entire school was going to be off having a great time.

  I was really starting to second-guess the whole –not skipping thing.

  When we got to Maxwell’s the place was practically empty. Everybody was still at home in the bed, which is exactly where I wished I were.

  I ordered two large lattes. I didn’t even ask what he wanted. He was getting a latte whether he wanted it or not.

  He took his cup, and followed me to my favorite spot way in the back.

  “What were you and Lo doing all night? I woke up around two o’clock this morning and I heard the two of you cracking up.”

  I took a long slow sip of my latte, and let it sink it a bit before I answered. I still wasn’t awake yet, and I couldn’t even remember if I brushed my hair before we left the house. “We were binge-watching a show we love, but mostly we were talking about old times. We only have a few weeks left together before she leaves for Florida.”

  “You’re going to miss her a lot aren’t you?” He asked.

  “So much.” I replied, before sipping more of my coffee. “What’s going to happen to you after graduation? Do you have plans?” I really wanted to know. I was going to be leaving him too, and I didn’t like the way it made me feel. He had no place to go after graduation.

  “Actually,” he rubbed his hands together. “I’ve been talking to your dad about getting a job. Possibly even finding a place out of town where no one knows me. Steve’s been a big help, and I think we may have found something.”

  “Really?” I almost choked on my drink. “My Dad?” It sounded weird hearing him talk about “Steve” like it was no big deal.

  “Yeah,” he shifted in his seat. “We talked about some things that night he took me to rent a tux. I told him about the trouble I’d been facing with getting a job, and we talked about my Dad a little. He said he wanted to try and help. I told him he didn’t have to do that. I mean, they’ve already helped me so much. But he insisted.”

  “Sounds like my Dad.” I smiled at the thought. We weren’t the richest family in town, but my Dad was kind. He would help anyone who was willing to help themselves. I sort of hit the jackpot in the parent department. Not him though. He had no one. “I’m sorry that you don’t have your parents around.”

  “Not me,” he said matter-of-fact. “They aren’t worth having.”

  “Besides, I have yours,” he winked.

  I rolled my eyes. “I never thought in a million years that I’d one day be sitting at this table with you. I couldn’t sta
nd the sight of you.”

  “Thanks,” he scoffed.

  “You know what I mean.” I playfully swatted his hand. “Over the past couple of months, we’ve really become friends. It still shocks me whenever I think about it.”

  “I know. I should be living on the streets right now, and I should’ve dropped out of high school. Things have really changed in my life, and I owe it all to you and your family.”

  “Who would’ve thought it?” I smiled. “Pearson and Lepage.” I shook my head.

  I wished I could’ve told him the truth, but there was no sense in drudging up all those feelings when I was about to leave. In another life, maybe it would’ve worked. Not this one, at least not now. I knew the old saying was true, that oil and vinegar didn’t mix.

  I had to be thankful that he was my friend.

  We finished our coffee, and talked a little more about college and life, before making the short drive to school. Just like I predicted, there were maybe five cars in the parking lot. Juniors always used Senior Skip Day as an excuse not to come either.

  “This is a drag.”

  “I know.” I pulled my backpack over my right shoulder. “Maybe they will take pity on us all and let us go home early.”

  “Right, like that’s going to happen.” He mocked.

  The vice principal’s voice came over the intercom as we were making our way inside.

  “All junior and senior students please report to the gymnasium at this time. Whoever is here anyway?”

  Well that was hilarious. It was going to be funny to see how many of us were actually there. I stopped by my locker to grab the rest of my things, and walked with Draven to the gym.

  We waited for about fifteen minutes, but less than twenty people showed up. It was really pathetic.

  They gave us the entire day to work on finals. We were allowed to stay in the gym or go to the library. So, the two of us went to the library and did what we did best. We spent the rest of the day preparing for finals. He knew the information forwards and back, and he was going to pass with flying colors. I felt so proud of him.

  He worked so hard. The boy was smart enough to go to college, but life cheated him out of it. I hoped that one-day, he’d be able to go. He could do great things in life if he really wanted to.

  By the time school was over we decided to have a little fun ourselves. We’d sat through the longest day of school ever, so we earned it.

  “Any chance you want to go paintballing again?” He asked me.

  I remember how that night ended the last time, but I couldn’t resist. This time we’d take some friends with us. It would be a good chance for me to get to know some of the people he hung out with, and for us to blow off some steam. Plus, I knew Lo would love the idea. Any chance for me to get quality time with her was a bonus.

  “Let’s do it.”

  “Hell yeah.”

  Draven

  Time sped up.

  Before I knew it, we only had one week left of school.

  When the year started I was in a different place in my life, a place where nothing mattered. I should’ve been full of regrets for the things I’d done in the past, but I wasn’t. I wouldn’t be where I am without it all.

  Classes let out a little late on Friday, since everyone had to attend graduation rehearsal. I was seated just a couple of rows in front of Jenny, but from where my seat was I could see her out of the corner of my eye. Our class was small, but we were going to kill at graduation. We were a rowdy bunch, and all of us were ready to say goodbye to that crappy place.

  I met Jenny by her car when we finished. She and Lo were deep in conversation about the air mattress races for senior night. Every year the senior class would bring their tents and sleeping bags, and of course their air mattresses to Border Fields. It was an abandoned place out behind the old warehouses of Mr. Fars land. He’d leave the gate open every year on senior night for the class to camp next to the lake. It was supposed to be the best night ever with campfires, and music, and the air mattress races. You had to have a boy-girl team of two per mattress, and you’d race from one side of the lake to other. It wasn’t that far, but it was supposed to be a load of fun. I was actually just as excited about it as the girls were. It sounded like a good time.

  “I’m your partner right?” I asked Jenny. “I mean for the race.”

  “Duh,” she replied like I should’ve already known that. “And you’re going to help me dig out all the camping gear from the garage.” Her smile was wide. I knew that I’d get roped into something before the day was up.

  We had to be at the lake by noon the next day.

  “Jett can be your partner Lo, if you need somebody.” I volunteered him. He’d probably cuss me out later, but he owed me one.

  “Fine,” she countered. She looked about as pleased as a wet cat, but at least she had a partner. Jett was a cool guy, probably too over the top for her, but it was just a race.

  “It’s settled then. We’ll pick you up tomorrow before lunch.” Jenny told Lo before the two of us climbed in the car.

  “You know we need some beer right? I’ve already made two paint-balling trips with no alcohol. I at least need a six-pack if you want me to be appeasable. I can’t stand most of those people and if you don’t want me to be the crabbiest person on the planet, then I need some alcohol.”

  “Fine, but you have to figure out how to buy it. I don’t know anybody with an I.D. or anyone old enough,” she replied.

  “That won’t be a problem.”

  She gave me a little side-glance, and her blonde hair fell loosely over her face. With a swipe of my fingertip, I gently pushed it back over her ear. Every time I attempted to touch her she would stiffen up or pull away. I was really beginning to take offense to it. We had history, I knew that, but I thought we were close enough now that it didn’t have to be weird.

  I wanted to be with her again, so damn bad. Only this time, I wanted it to be for the right reasons. Not because we were just some horny teenagers in need of an escape.

  She kept driving, and I didn’t say another word.

  I was going to tell her my plans for after graduation soon, but I was worried. She was probably going to hate the idea, and I didn’t want her freaking out on me.

  Oh, she was going to freak.

  Back at the house, the two of us spent the rest of the evening rummaging through the garage looking for the best things to take for our overnight camping trip.

  We had to sit through a grueling talk with her mom about being careful at the lake, and making sure to keep an eye on one another. I promised I would. I would most certainly keep an eye on Jenny.

  I think she was worried about a bunch of drinking teenagers at the lake. Someone could possibly drown, which I understood. Six beers were all I was planning on drinking. I just needed a little liquid courage and it would take double that to get me drunk.

  “Do you think we need the lantern?” Jenny asked me, snapping me away from my thoughts. Of course my eyes were still glued to her ass.

  “We can’t take this much stuff,” I told her, pointing at the massively growing pile.

  “But we need it.”

  “No we don’t. The less we have to worry about the better. I think you can rough it for one night.”

  Her lip pouted and she gave me that puppy-dog face. “I don’t do well with roughing it.”

  “Well good thing for you, I do. Now lets cut this pile in half. We don’t need two tents. One is big enough for the both of us.”

  She sucked in a breath.

  “I think you can handle sleeping with me for one night.” I told her. I didn’t give her time to argue. “And instead of a lantern, let’s just take a flashlight. You don’t need the bug spray. I’m not sure what this is, so we don’t need it.” I kept on and on until we had it narrowed down to about six things, not counting our pillows. “There, see.”

  “So, we’re going to die.”

  “What?” I laughed. “We’ll be fine. It’s one ni
ght.”

  “One night without bug spray,” she huffed. “And that’s a water purifier. We can have clean water.”

  I was laughing hysterically at her. She was so serious too.

  “It’s one night, Jenny. You will survive. We will bring bottled water. I promise.”

  “At least pack the bug spray. I don’t want to be itching all night. And stop laughing at me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I spat out trying not to laugh harder. “Fine. We’ll take the bug spray. All that other stuff is staying.”

  She shrugged her shoulders, and walked out of the garage. I could only imagine what it was going to be like when we packed her up to go to college. She’d probably want to pack everything she could get her hands on.

  Thinking about it made my mood change completely.

  It wasn’t the time or place to be thinking about that just yet. I didn’t want to picture her leaving since we’d only recently grown so close. I was going to miss her. I was going to miss us.

  ***

  We had the car loaded down, with our stuff, Jett’s stuff, and Lo’s stuff. We were officially ready for Senior Night. Jett came through on the beer, so we had everything we needed.

  The day was nice, almost ninety degrees.

  When we arrived at the lake and parked, the four of us unloaded the car and started to set up our tents. Jett just brought a sleeping bag. He said he didn’t mind sleeping out in the open, but Lo took pity on him and said he could sleep in her tent.

  “But no funny business,” she told him. “You keep your hands and other body parts in your sleeping bag.”

  “Okay,” he said with his hands in the air.

  This was going to be an amazing day. I could just feel it.

  As soon as the tents were up, the girls hopped inside to change into their bathing suits. Up until that moment, I hadn’t thought about the fact that she’d be running around the lake with barely anything on. It slipped my mind. It also meant that I’d be sporting a boner half the fucking day.