Rugged

by Ava Bloom

  “Sounds perfect,” Mallory said.

  I wasn’t exactly a good bowler, but Mallory was terrible. She was a good sport, though, continuing to laugh off her terrible gutter balls. “All right, I think you promised me food,” she said, when we had finished two long games.

  I grinned at her as I pulled her in for a kiss. I wasn’t sure why I did it – I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t a date, per se, this was just…the thing that we were doing before going home together later that night. We had both agreed on that.

  But then, I supposed there was nothing wrong with a little foreplay.

  “Did you figure something out for your work?” I asked as we waited for our pizza to cool off a little.

  Mallory wrinkled her nose. “No,” she said. “I’m thinking that my best course of action is to go back to that ravine and really get buried by an avalanche!”

  “Why do you let them do this stuff to you?” I asked her, truly confused about it.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “Just, it seems like someone as bright and talented as you… You don’t have to work there. You could be working for someone who really appreciates you – who lets you take the time off that you need, when you need it. That kind of thing.”

  “You just don’t understand it,” Mallory said. “Things move fast in the industry that I’m in. If we don’t stay on top of it, we lose out. And I don’t want to be the reason that deals fall through.”

  “Well, of course not,” I said. “But they have to know that everyone needs a break every now and then.”

  “I don’t have the luxury of taking breaks,” Mallory said. “But they support me in other ways. I’ve been working with a lot of these guys for years. I mean, this was my first big job out of college. I know everyone. And that’s part of it, too: I just don’t want to let them down. I need to pull my weight, or else someone else needs to pick up the slack.”

  I gave her a dubious look, wanting to say something about how sometimes it was okay to let someone else pick up the slack. But I could also tell from her expression and her tone that I was making her more and more agitated, and the last thing I wanted was for her to get really angry and storm out of there.

  So I bit my tongue and changed the topic.

  We played one last game of bowling after we’d inhaled our pizza. Inwardly, I was trying to figure out how I wanted this night to end. It was supposed to just be about sex – but as much as I wanted to take her home, right then and there, I also could tell that she was going to be difficult to get over. She was fun, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I liked watching her giggle when she knocked over even a couple pins, or how much I liked the way her eyes shone when she talked about the things that she cared about.

  From the way that she was acting, sex wasn’t the only thing on her mind either.

  If this was the start of some sort of relationship – long distance? – I wanted to take things slow. To get to know her better before we tumbled into bed together again.

  Of course, I wanted to get to know her body as well. I wanted to kiss along every square inch of her skin, to learn what made her shiver, to really figure out how to get her off, and get her good. I wanted to make her moan, to make her scream, to pleasure her in ways that she had never even dreamed of before.

  But first, I wanted to figure out what made her tick. I wanted to explore these passions of hers, to really understand her.

  I still couldn’t put my finger on just why I was so enamored of her, but I supposed there was some truth to the saying ‘opposites attract’. Not that she and I were wholly opposites.

  “Are you coming home with me tonight?” I finally asked bluntly, my lips brushing the shell of Mallory’s ear as we walked out of the bowling alley.

  “I don’t really have a plan,” Mallory said after a minute. But she nestled a little closer under my arm as we walked, and I couldn’t help smirking. She was definitely coming home with me.

  “How did you end up here in Twin Valleys anyway?” Mallory asked as we walked.

  I glanced down at her and then around at the dark street. Then, I shrugged. “I don’t know, they hired me?” I said.

  Mallory laughed. “Really?” she asked. “But how come you applied to work here anyway?”

  “It seemed out of the way,” I said. “I’d skied here before, and it’s not the kind of place that people come to for just a day or two. They come here for longer trips, or they don’t come at all. It’s got a really good community, and if you’re not part of the community in some way… Well, no one comes around asking any questions. It was a good place to disappear.”

  “What did you need to disappear from?”

  I was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t talk about that with anyone,” I finally told her.

  “Bobby knows,” Mallory said confidently, even though I knew she couldn’t actually know that.

  I sighed, but I was surprised to find that I actually wanted to talk to her about it. To unburden myself a little. After all, what did I have to lose? I still didn’t think I was ever going to see her again after the few more days that she was there in Twin Valleys.

  I took a deep breath. “I was discharged from the Army,” I finally told her. I paused. “Honorably. But it wasn’t my choice.”

  Mallory reached over and slipped her fingers into mine. “It’s okay,” she said, stroking her thumb over the backs of my fingers. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t ask.”

  “It’s okay,” I told her. “I want to talk about it. Just, maybe not tonight. It’s not exactly a sexy story.”

  “Okay,” Mallory said.

  I could picture that conversation happening, on another night. Curled up on the couch, comfortable in my living room. On my own territory.

  If she stuck around long enough, maybe I’d tell her everything, even the things that Bobby didn’t know, the things that really kept me up at night. It wouldn’t be so bad, having that companionship. I’d been aching for that for a long time.

  But she wasn’t going to stick around. In a couple days, she would go back to her own world. I had to get these stupid relationship thoughts out of my head. It was never going to work out, and I was only going to make it more difficult for myself if I let myself make plans for the future that had her in them.

  13

  Mallory

  I hung up the phone with my boss, feeling stunned. Absolutely stunned.

  “Mallory, are you okay?” Jane asked. I vaguely registered that she sounded concerned. But at the same time, whatever she was saying to me felt…distant.

  “I think I need to sit down,” I managed.

  As I sat there on the end of the couch, Katie pressed a glass of water in my hand. But I wasn’t thirsty, I was…perplexed.

  “What happened?” Vicky finally asked.

  I shook my head. “I just…got fired,” I finally admitted.

  You know how people always say things like ‘saying the words made it seem real’? That’s not how it felt. Instead, it was bizarrely the opposite: as though saying the words made things seem even less real.

  I had known this was coming, though. I knew I couldn’t blow off this meeting. I’d worked so hard, when we were planning the dates of our trip, to make sure that I would be back in time for the most important meeting of the year, the one where we told our shareholders all about what we had earned over the course of the year and what our plans were for the coming year.

  I knew I had to be there.

  But I hadn’t expected Greg to fire me. Even if I wasn’t there… Even if things had been a bit hectic lately…

  I swallowed hard, realizing for the first time just how much I had fucked up.

  “Wait, you got fired?” Jane asked incredulously. “Mallory, you’re, like, the hardest worker that they have! How could they fire you?”

  I shrugged, shaking my head. “I guess that in the end…” I swallowed hard, wondering how all my years of hard work had led to this. All those ye
ars that I had dedicated myself to my work, all those years that I had worked together with my colleagues, and Greg had still fired me just like that. No warning or anything.

  “That’s bullshit,” Katie said, shaking her head.

  “Is it because you didn’t fly home when you were supposed to?” Vicky asked. I nodded and she grimaced. “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was so important for you to get back,” she said. “Otherwise, we all would have…”

  “If I’d realized how important it was, I would have figured out some way to do it,” I interrupted, shaking my head. I didn’t want my friends to feel guilty about this, even if it was their fault.

  “So what are you going to do?” Hillary asked.

  “I guess I’m going to have to clean up my resume and find a new job,” I sighed. “I don’t know what else to say.”

  But the more I thought of it, the more depressing the thought seemed. What was it worth, if no matter how much I put into a company, they could can me just like that? Like I didn’t matter at all.

  Maybe I was doing things wrong. Derrick certainly seemed happier than I was, working for a company that clearly supported him and cared about his well-being. Even his place in the community, he had said that they were all like family. Even looking around at my friends, all with looks of concern on their faces, I couldn’t help feeling that maybe I’d been living a much lonelier existence, isolated from everyone around me.

  Maybe it was a good thing that I had been fired. It was already starting to put some things into perspective. The more I thought about it, the more I was glad that I had chosen to stay there with my friends for a few extra days. If my work didn’t care about me anyway, this was a far more important trip than I’d realized.

  “We should go out drinking tonight,” Jane said firmly, reaching over to squeeze my shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll make you forget all about those assholes that you were working for.”

  “That sounds great,” I said gratefully, smiling up at them.

  I couldn’t seem to get my head in it that night, though. We did a few rounds of shots at the hotel bar before we went out, and then we did a few more shots once we got to Jane’s favorite bar in town – because this was still all about her, regardless of my bad news, and I was trying my best to remember that. Still, as I watched everyone else dancing out on the dancefloor, I had to face it: I just wasn’t in the mood for this.

  “Hey, I think I’m going to take off,” I told Jane, catching her arm as she went to the bar for a fresh drink. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  She gave me a hug. “Of course not,” she said. “Let me know if you need anything!”

  “I will,” I told her. “I just want an early night tonight, I think.” It was a lie, but she didn’t need to know that.

  I headed straight to Joe’s, once I was on my own. For a little while, I just watched Derrick move around behind the counter, chatting with locals and mixing drinks. He glanced towards me a couple times, and I could see his brow furrow, like he was wondering what I was doing there.

  Finally, I headed over to him. “Hey,” I said.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “How do you know something’s wrong?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

  Derrick shook his head, pausing like he was considering his words. “You look like you could use a hug,” he finally said.

  “I could,” I sighed. “I got fired.”

  Derrick fumbled the glass that he had just grabbed. “You what?” he asked incredulously.

  “Yeah, exactly,” I said. “I missed that big meeting, and I got this huge lecture on responsibilities and how it was obvious that my drive has been ‘lacking of late’. And then Greg fired me. Just like that.”

  “Ouch,” Derrick said. “You need a drink?”

  “I’ve already had a bunch,” I admitted. “I just…” I trailed off. “I’m thinking of staying in Twin Valleys until the end of the season.”

  “What?” Derrick asked, sounding even more incredulous. “You can’t do that just because of me.”

  “Why not?” I challenged. “Anyway, it’s not just because of you. I just need to clear my head. I know that as soon as I go back to San Francisco, I’m going to jump straight into having another job, and I’m not sure that’s the best thing for me right now.” I paused, frowning. “Unless you’re…planning on getting together with Sam as soon as I’m gone.”

  Derrick blinked at me. “Excuse me?”

  I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. “Come on, Derrick, I’m not stupid. I know that you and I are just meant to be a holiday fling – that you probably wouldn’t have started this if you thought that I was going to stick around. And I can tell that Sam likes you.”

  “Sam and I are just old friends, that’s all.”

  “She likes you, though,” I said accusingly.

  “She does,” Derrick agreed. He paused and took a deep breath. “We were actually engaged, before. Before I…” He trailed off.

  “Before you what, Derrick?” I snapped.

  “Before I went off to war,” Derrick said, looking pained. “I came back a different person; I wasn’t ready to…” He shook his head. “You know, I used to wake up screaming – actually screaming – in the middle of the night. No one should ever have to deal with anything like that.”

  “So what, she ditched you until you got your act together, but now that you’ve proven to yourself, thanks to my help, that you’re ready to love again, the two of you are back together for good?”

  “Of course not,” Derrick said, rolling his eyes. “Sam and I are two totally different people now. We’re never going to get back together – we both know that. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t both care for one another.” He paused. “If you’re sticking around, it’s probably a good thing that you know that about Sam and I. I’m not used to having to draw lines where Sam is concerned. I’ve never had to do that before. There was no one that I ever…” He cleared his throat, looking awkward. “I haven’t dated anyone since Sam. You’d be the first.”

  I blinked at him and then slowly smiled. “So, we’re dating now, are we?” I asked.

  Derrick snorted. “You might want to sort out finding a place to live first before we start putting labels on things,” he said. “I assume you don’t plan on living in the resort for the rest of the season.”

  “Probably not,” I agreed. “I’d like to get my own place. Somewhere quiet. Not quite as quiet as your place, though.”

  Derrick wiped off his hands, glancing around the bar. “It’s pretty dead in here tonight – nothing the rest of the guys can’t handle. What do you say we go back to my place and I give you that hug that you wanted?”

  “Just a hug?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

  Derrick gave me an innocent look but didn’t respond. I laughed as I followed him out into the wintry evening.

  As we walked towards Derrick’s house, he slipped an arm around my shoulders. But he seemed pensive. Finally, he said, “I don’t know how to have a girlfriend. I mean, once upon a time, I guess I was okay enough at it to land myself a fiancée. But I was a different guy back then. I’m not going to be perfect. I live on the edges of a small town, and I’m used to doing whatever I want to do, without having to explain myself to anyone else. I’m used to…” He trailed off, looking sheepish.

  “You have baggage,” I agreed, nodding my head. “But Derrick, I do as well.”

  Derrick quirked an eyebrow at me. “Really?” he asked skeptically.

  “My whole life has been devoted to my career,” I reminded him.

  “Not that I want you to leave, but don’t you think that you’re going to get bored here?”

  “Maybe,” I agreed, shrugging my shoulders. “Look, I’m not promising that I’m going to stick around forever. But just for the rest of this season, it could be fun. It could be what I need.” I glanced over at him. “What do you do during the offseason anyway? When you’re not skiing.”

  “I
keep working in the bar,” Derrick said slowly. “But I’ve always considered maybe taking some time off and traveling, or maybe heading down to the southern hemisphere and working another winter season down there.”

  “So maybe, at the end of this season – just if I’m bored here – we could figure out together what we want to do,” I suggested. “Not that I want to get too far ahead.”

  I couldn’t believe I was already talking like this. I hardly knew the guy, and yet here I was… I felt so off-balance with everything, now that I was fired, though. This thing with Derrick, our relationship, was the only thing that felt stable at the moment. Even if there was a lot that I was going to have to figure out to make things work between us.

  We’d cross that bridge when we got to it.

  14

  Derrick

  I had never had a woman spend the night and not had sex with her, I realized the following morning, as I listened to Mallory bustling around in the kitchen. Whatever she was cooking, it was good – I could tell that much from the scents that wafted through the house.

  The previous night, we had talked until late in the night, sharing a bottle of wine. We had climbed into bed together, but we had both been too worn out to do anything more than cuddle.

  I still couldn’t believe some of the things that I had told her – things about Sam and our relationship, things about my deployment. The sorts of things that only Bobby and certain other people in my life had ever heard before. The sorts of things that I had never expected anyone else to understand.

  But somehow, even though I knew Mallory had never been through the sorts of things that I had, I could tell that she understood, that she somehow empathized.

  She had told me plenty about herself, too – about her family life growing up, about why her career was so important to her. She had bashfully confessed that she had never really had time for hobbies, that she didn’t even really know what she liked, other than her work. It gave me a whole new appreciation for her – and it made me want to be the one who showed her all the things that she had been missing out on. Even as we talked, I started thinking about hiking trips that we could take together, drives down to the southern part of the state, more bowling dates, and more.