Anna

by Amanda Prowse

13

  ‘So when you say a small wedding, how small are we talking exactly?’

  Anna glanced over at the very elegant Stella Montgomery, her future mother-in-law, trying to decipher the tone of her question. She noted how Stella exchanged a knowing look with Perry, her husband, who was pushing ice cubes from the back of the plastic tray into the ice bucket. Even so, Anna couldn’t contain her bounce of excitement. She wriggled on the chair at the kitchen table and pushed her hair behind her ears. She decided to ignore any negative nuances Theo’s mother hurled in her direction; she would paper over the nastiness and stay focused. This was after all her wedding they were talking about and she was determined to feel like a princess for the day.

  ‘We are talking very small, absolutely tiny!’ Anna indicated the tininess with her hand, closing her thumb and forefinger together. ‘I mean, we’re not going to elope or anything like that – although that would be the smallest wedding possible, just the two of us. Can you imagine?’ She laughed, tilting her head in Theo’s direction and smiling, trying in as polite a way as possible to let her future mother-in-law know that an elopement could be on the cards and might even be preferable if she didn’t play ball.

  Theo winked at her and in that flash Anna felt fearless. This is what he did for her!

  ‘I mean, it’s difficult for me. I’m sure Theo has filled you in, but I have no family who would come to my wedding, apart from a cousin in New York and a half-sister who might come for some of it if she can get a babysitter. Her on/off fella’s in the army, on tour a lot, so things are a bit tricky.’ She raised the china cup to her lips and blew onto her tea to cool it a little.

  ‘Quite.’ Theo’s mother reached out and took the gin and tonic from her husband’s hand, grasping it keenly, as if it were much-needed medicine. ‘So should we be thinking about sending out save-the-date cards? We are already terribly unprepared if, as you say, it has to take place this year.’

  ‘It’s not that it has to be any time, but we want it to be this year.’ Theo spoke up.

  His mother sipped her gin and tonic and smiled thinly over the top of her glass. ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘How hard can it be?’ Anna placed her cup of tea on the table. ‘We book a registry office, have a glass of wine and a slice of cake somewhere with flowers in a jam jar on the table, hopefully in a room with a reasonably nice view, and that’s it! Job done!’ She dusted her hands and laughed again.

  Theo smiled. She knew he loved her plan to keep it simple. The two had laughed as he’d described the dozens of embossed, gold-edged invitations that invariably lined his parents’ mantelpiece during the wedding season. Each one near identical and, according to him, sent by a bride-to-be who would be half starving herself ready for the big day. They’d be summoned to some far-flung place or to a fading country house, with each bride trying to outdo the other right down to the smallest detail. Theo had given an involuntary shiver at the thought of it all. And Anna had pictured all the birds called Felicity or Mirabelle, who, in her shoes, would be flapping over the minutiae, picking colours, tasting dishes, practising hair and make-up, fretting over flowers and managing to turn the lovely occasion into something quite stressful.

  ‘Stella, I think if you get into the swing of it and accept that it’s not going to be a traditional wedding, then you will really enjoy it!’

  ‘Oh my dear, I think I have already understood just how untraditional the whole affair will be,’ Theo’s mother offered without the hint of a smile.

  ‘We were thinking of a lunchtime do at the Marriott County Hall. They have a room for private dining with a view out over the river to the Houses of Parliament.’ Anna had loved the room on sight, thinking it was one of the nicest she had ever seen. Grand yet cosy, a neat trick. And what would her mum and brother have thought of her sitting like a princess in the middle of London with a view of Big Ben? It would be quite something. She thought of Shania and hoped she wasn’t still wandering the capital’s streets but had found somewhere safe and good. Somewhere really good. How she would love for Shania to have been at her wedding too.

  ‘A hotel?’ There was a beat of silence to allow Stella’s disapproval to land. ‘Well, I am sure that will be lovely.’

  Theo picked invisible lint from his trousers, clearly irritated by his mother’s tone. But Anna simply beamed, reminding herself that she was to ignore anything negative – this was her wedding day under discussion and she was marrying Theodore Montgomery! Nothing else mattered, not really. ‘It will be.’ She nodded enthusiastically. ‘The menu is fab – we’re going to go for roast beef with all the trimmings, including Yorkshire puddings. And then berry cheesecake for afters.’

  Another look passed between Stella and Perry, which Anna again understood to mean they didn’t approve of her choice in this either. She had to remember to smile and to resist reminding them that for some people meat was still an unaffordable luxury. Roast beef with all the trimmings would do very nicely.

  ‘Of course, you don’t have to come, Mum, if you’d rather not.’ Theo spoke levelly, and his delivery was cool. ‘That’d be absolutely fine.’

  His comment surprised Anna, though she had to admit to being a little thrilled by it. It spoke volumes. ‘I pick you, Anna Bee Cole. I pick you over and above everyone. I am on your side.’

  ‘What a thing to say!’ she said loudly, then tutted. ‘Of course your mum has to come! She’s the mother of the groom.’

  ‘Theo’s only teasing.’ His father winked.

  ‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Roast beef in a hotel sounds delightful.’ Stella raised her tumbler towards her future daughter-in-law. ‘It will be memorable.’

  ‘Are you inviting any of the Vaizey boys?’ Perry asked Theo, cutting in before he could react to Stella’s sweetly offered barb. Turning to Anna, he added, ‘That was his school – Vaizey College down in Dorset. Mine too, actually. Fine old place. Do you know it?’

  ‘No.’ Anna shook her head and thought of the interchangeable comprehensive schools from which she had gleaned her straight As.

  ‘I hadn’t planned on doing so, no.’ Theo sounded awkward as he walked to the fridge and opened it, seemingly not wanting to face his parents. He’d already told Anna that there wasn’t a single person from his school days he wanted present, apart from one. And that person was an old man he had let down a long time ago. The Fishing-Fly Guy. Anna could tell that even discussing this period in his life caused him pain and she respected that, knowing how potent memories like that could be. An image of a folded blue towel lying on the bathroom floor floated into her mind.

  ‘Well, should we invite Becks on your behalf? He was your housemaster, after all, for so many years,’ his mother trilled.

  Anna couldn’t understand how they didn’t get it! She watched Theo’s shoulders sag and heard his sigh. He closed the fridge door with a little more force than was necessary and turned to the three of them, who were all looking at him.

  ‘No, I don’t want you to invite Mr Beckett.’

  ‘That’s a damned shame,’ his father growled. ‘He always enquires after you.’

  ‘Does he now?’ Theo gave a snort of laughter. ‘Good to know!’

  ‘Don’t be so tetchy, Theodore. You’ve always been funny about him, about school in general, and it’s such a beautiful place. Daddy loved it there, didn’t you, darling?’

  ‘I did indeed.’ Perry nodded, puffing out his chest and gripping his glass of whisky, as if his wife’s words were a personal accolade.

  ‘Well, I didn’t.’ Theo bit his lip and Anna hated the sadness she saw in his eyes, a brief insight, perhaps, into how he might have felt when he was so depressed. ‘I didn’t love it there. In fact I hated every second of it. And as for your friend, Mr Beckett, he was a complete shit to me. Not that he was the only one – most people there were shits to me – but he was my housemaster and he was supposed to be looking out for me, but he didn’t. Not at all.’

  Anna felt a flutter of anxiety in
her gut. She hated that even talking about school evoked such a reaction in her man, hated that he was uncomfortable. At the same time she was more than a little shocked that her future in-laws seemed so unaware of this. She thought of her mum, always interested, placing her hand on her shoulder. ‘How are you today, my beautiful girl? How was school?’

  ‘That’s a tad dramatic!’ Theo’s father laughed. ‘You can’t tell me that all six hundred boys treated you badly! I think you’re rather overegging the pudding!’

  ‘You would, Dad.’ Theo held his gaze. ‘And funnily enough, I seem to remember Mr Beckett saying something similar.’

  Anna hopped up from her chair, walked over to him and took him in her arms for a long, tight hug. ‘I think someone might have a touch of pre-wedding jitters.’ She stood tall and kissed his cheek. ‘My handsome, clever man.’

  He looked at her and smiled. She watched his face soften, as if comforted by her attention. And she was glad.

  * * *

  Anna’s plans prevailed, a cosy room in the Marriott Hotel was duly booked, and roast beef with all the trimmings ordered. The guest list was modest, and on Anna’s side it was positively diminutive, but that didn’t matter at all because so long as Jordan was there, she didn’t mind if no one else on her side turned up. For his part, Jordan was ecstatic at the prospect and announced that he would be coming to stay with her several days ahead of the big day.

  ‘Holy guacamole! You have got to be kidding me!’ Jordan shouted with an obvious New York twang, which he had almost perfected. ‘This is where you live?’ He placed his hand on his chest and turned in a circle in the hallway, taking in the ornate cornicing, the tiled floor, the wide staircase that promised grand rooms overhead.

  ‘Yes.’ Anna folded her arms and rubbed the tops of her shoulders. ‘Although I’m still like “Waaaagh!” every time I come in the door. It’s very different from my little studio. When Theo isn’t here, if I hear a noise I jump out of my skin! I love it though. Feel very lucky.’

  ‘I should say! God, it’s beautiful. But he’s lucky to have you and any place you are in is infinitely more wonderful because you are in it, never forget that.’ Jordan swept forward and enveloped his cousin in a hug before kissing her hard on the cheek. ‘I have missed you, Miss Anna Bee!’

  ‘And I’ve missed you! I love, love getting your letters. Shame Levi couldn’t make it.’

  ‘Yes, poor darling, he was keen to come with me – we both wanted to visit Kensington Palace. I sent flowers of course.’ He placed his hand at his neck, as if overcome by the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. ‘I simply can’t believe it, Anna, can’t believe she’s gone. And the way those boys walked behind the coffin, oh my God! I don’t mind telling you, I sobbed from start to finish.’ He fanned his eyes, as if this could prevent more tears from coming. ‘Diana was everyone’s princess, but I felt like I knew her, felt connected to her even though we never met – does that make sense?’

  Anna nodded. She had gone to Kensington Palace herself to witness the sea of flowers. It had stretched as far as the eye could see, and the atmosphere had been heavy with the sobs of mourners who’d travelled there from far and wide. It had felt important to pay her respects to the woman whose wedding day she remembered – ‘a proper princess’, as her Aunt Lizzie had called her. ‘Yes, I think a lot of people felt the same way.’

  They observed a second of silence.

  ‘Plus Levi’s been rehearsing for months.’ Jordan spoke with new energy. ‘A musical based on the work of an obscure Nordic poet – whale music and everything.’ He sucked his teeth and widened his eyes. ‘Anyhoo, they cut the funding and sadly it’s not going to see the light of day. Which, if Levi asks you what I said, is an artistic loss, but if he doesn’t then let me tell you the whole production was beyond horrific and I thank you, Lord, for the underfunding of the arts!’ He looked up and raised his hands skyward.

  She loved that he still had the ability to make her howl with laughter.

  ‘So he’s at home licking his wounds and applying for any job he can find. I left him scouring the papers. He asked me if I thought he could masquerade as a plastic surgeon, as the pay is great. I told him there’s a huge difference between acting a surgeon and being one. I’m hoping to God he doesn’t pull it off – can you imagine? Pity the poor patients of the Lower East Side turning up to find Levi in full scrubs but screaming and fainting at his first sight of a medical instrument.’

  Anna laughed. How she adored his theatricality.

  ‘Plus,’ Jordan continued, ‘being out of work made paying for his flight a little difficult. I only just managed.’

  ‘I told you Theo and I would pay for you both. It means the world that you’re here.’

  ‘Oh I know, Toots, and it was so kind of you to offer.’ He smiled at her. ‘But Levi wouldn’t hear of it. Me neither. I had savings, plus I think he might have decided to plead poverty rather than admit he was too scared to jump on a plane across the pond. We drive everywhere...’ He sighed.

  ‘Next time.’

  ‘Yes, for sure next time. I do miss him though.’ Jordan pulled his mouth into a downward arc.

  ‘You’ve been together for how long and you still miss him?’ She smiled, beyond delighted that Jordan had found such happiness.

  ‘Oh, centuries, but he’s my guy, what can I say?’ He shrugged. ‘And now you’ve found your guy!’

  ‘Oh, Jord.’ Her face lit up. ‘I can’t wait for you to meet him.’

  ‘Me too. So, come on, what’s he like?’

  ‘Oh...’ She looked into the middle distance, picturing him. ‘He’s tall and slim with dark, curly hair that’s a little thin on top. He could be cocky because he is so incredible, but he’s not, he is kind and...’ She paused and smiled. ‘He listens to everything I say, like really listens, as if what I have to say is the most important thing. He makes me feel special, clever. I love him!’

  ‘Well, that’s a very good job as you’re marrying the man in less than three days.’

  ‘Don’t remind me, I’m so nervous. God, I’m glad you’re here.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’ He kissed her again. ‘Family.’

  ‘Yep, family.’ Anna chose her next words carefully. ‘Talking of family—’

  ‘Don’t even go there.’ Jordan cut her short, holding up his palm. ‘I am barely in touch with them and have no intention of going to see them. Does that pre-empt and answer all your questions?’

  ‘Pretty much, but don’t you ever miss them? Think of them?’

  ‘Think of them, occasionally. Miss them, no.’ He drew breath. ‘There is so much more to being a parent than just the creation part – in fact, I think that’s probably the easiest bit. It’s what comes next, the support, the caring, the accepting and the helping that’s the hard stuff and I’m sorry to say I find it difficult to like people that don’t like me. Even if they are my mum and dad.’

  ‘I get that.’ She nodded. ‘I do.’ She pictured herself with Fifi and Fox, knowing she would love and support them no matter what. ‘For what it’s worth, I don’t believe it’s that they don’t like you—’

  ‘Darling, don’t even try and justify it. You can’t. Trust me. At the end of the day, I have to accept that my mum is an arsehole.’

  Anna hooted with laughter. ‘Jordan! You can’t say that!’

  ‘Well she is, and a bigoted arsehole at that. I can’t change her. I’ve tried, but it’s like jabbing at a bad tooth with your tongue – eventually you just have to go and get the damn thing removed. So that’s what I’ve done. I’ve removed her and Dad from my thoughts and, as I’d hoped, it’s now a lot less painful.’

  ‘Well, for what it’s worth, I feel sad for what they’re missing out on – you are absolutely brilliant.’

  ‘Yes, I am! Goldpie is in the house!’ Jordan threw his slender arm up into the air in his familiar disco pose. ‘I am also dying for a cup of tea – what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here
?’

  ‘This way.’ Anna walked ahead, into the handsome kitchen. Her influence on the decor had been subtle. A glass vase of fresh tulips sat on the kitchen table, a couple of wooden hearts now hung on the door handles, and a natty blue linen dish towel was draped over the rail of the Aga, all adding splashes of colour. And, most importantly, a little lemon tree graced a green glazed pot on the windowsill. It was as yet not much more than a slender twig, but she had high hopes, remembering the one she’d tended in Honor Oak Park, when her mum was still alive.

  Jordan, like her, walked straight to the wide sash window, which was raised, allowing the breeze and the scent of flowers to fill the room.

  ‘Oh, Anna!’

  ‘I know.’ She stared ahead with her hands clasped under her chin.

  Her cousin stood next to her, taking in the profusion of hydrangeas, dahlias and Michaelmas daisies that filled the borders beside the brick path. At the end of the path stood a wooden summerhouse, its roof caressed by a luxuriant weeping willow.

  ‘This is so beautiful.’

  ‘I find it hard to do anything but stare out of this window. The view changes every day and I don’t think I will ever get sick of it. It’s so therapeutic. If only everyone could have access to a sight like this.’

  ‘So you’re still in your job?’ Jordan asked as she filled the kettle and set it on top of the Aga.

  ‘Yes. I like it. The brokers are a nice bunch and I’ve been there quite a while now, plus I get to travel in and out with Theo more often than not.’

  ‘You carry on working when you could be a kept woman?’ Jordan boomed with mock disapproval.

  ‘Oh, don’t!’ She sighed, blushing at this uncomfortable truth. ‘I have to admit it was a little weird to begin with, working in the building that my fiancé owns. People were a bit...’

  ‘A bit what?’

  ‘Nudgey, elbowy and whispery.’

  ‘Oh no! Not nudgey, elbowy and whispery! Is there a helpline you can call for that?’

  ‘You can mock, but it was uncomfortable. Theo and I sat down and discussed it and he said I had to either buckle up and ignore it or that I should do something else entirely, take the chance to do something I really wanted to, go somewhere or study and that I didn’t have to worry about a wage.’