At the Risk of Forgetting

by A. M. Wilson

  That was one of her worst transgressions and I got over it quick, which meant I was crazy pissed at Law or he somehow made me angrier than any other. Option two sounded right, because a few minutes into scrubbing the inside of my freezer, I realized I could keep it up for hours and the feelings weren’t going to fade.

  The inside of the freezer, fridge, and stove were emptied, scrubbed, rid of any expiring or dried on food, and reorganized, and I would have kept going but my leg was getting tired. I gave up on cleaning and decided to refresh my pedicure instead. Evelyn and I were due for a mani/pedi date, and since my toes were more exposed than usual, I noticed the imperfections. This would tide me over until we could find time to make an appointment.

  My foot was healing but wasn’t a hundred percent. The bruises were starting to turn more green than purple. I would see our family doctor on Friday and hoped to graduate from the crutches to a walking boot, or better yet, some fancy taping. It would be nice to drive again.

  I sat on my bed, turned on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix, picked a pretty, dark purple that didn’t clash too heavily with my bruises, and set to stripping off my old polish.

  The entire process took nearly an hour, because I kept getting caught up in the drama on the TV. I must have watched the entire series at least seven times since Netflix added it to their queue, and each time I couldn’t get over the changes in Dr. McDreamy.

  The earlier seasons he always had this distinct look in his eye whenever he looked at Meredith. It was soft and warm; something I’d read about frequently in romance novels, but hadn’t seen with any clarity in real life until I watched Derek Shepherd look at Meredith that way. Somewhere around season four or five, it started to change. The look faded and became colder. There were moments where the old McDreamy would shine through, but the original look was gone forever.

  There are some things in life we can never get back. Unlike my old brand-new couch, a little rubbing alcohol and scrubbing didn’t fix everything. Things got tarnished and wrecked, and sometimes it’s better to throw them out than try to salvage them in their broken condition.

  I wiped a tear from my eye with the back of my hand as I watched, for the eighth time, Meredith grip Derek’s hand in a supply closet while having a break down. He remained solid as a rock for her. And another tear dripped from my eye when he smiled and reassured her she was okay.

  7.

  Through my quiet sniffling, I heard the front door open slowly and then close. A boot hit the floor. Then another. Soft footfalls sounded down the hall to the kitchen. A cabinet creaked open and closed. Rushing water sounded briefly from the faucet then turned off.

  I could pretend I was asleep. Law and I only seemed capable of exploding around one another, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue some more. I should thank him for helping, even though I never asked him to. It was still incredibly kind. The weather wouldn’t hold out much longer, and there was a strong possibility I wouldn’t have finished preparing my house before the snow fell. And if Law hadn’t helped, and I couldn’t do it, the only person that left was Nathan. What kind of message did that send to a man I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go on a date with?

  With all that in mind, I scooted my legs off the side of the bed, grabbed a crutch, and hauled myself into the kitchen.

  When I rounded the corner from the hall, all the saliva in my mouth evaporated, and I was suddenly desperate for a drink.

  The first thing I noticed was the hair on his abs. A soft dusting sprouted a couple inches on either side of his belly button. It continued up underneath his shirt and...

  Down.

  Below.

  His waistband.

  His belt was undone, each side hanging parallel to his thighs. The top button of his jeans was open and folded down; the waistband of his underwear peeking out the top.

  Oh, lordy.

  His toned body glistened with sweat. Law currently held the bottom of his tee up to his face and was using it like a towel so I could stare unabashedly. Which was perfect, because I was certain my mouth was open and I was drooling. I didn’t know for sure though, seeing as my entire body went numb... or tingly. Maybe even both.

  That was when Law dropped his shirt, his eyes landed on me, and he cursed.

  “Christ.”

  My mouth snapped closed and my mind blanked on what to say, so I stayed silent. A warm hum stoked low in my belly, and I had a hell of a time thinking of anything else when that felt so good.

  Law twisted his torso and tagged his cup off the counter beside the sink. He took a long drink, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

  Lowering the glass, he kept it clutched near the middle of his abdomen, and licked the remaining drop of water from his lips.

  “Work’s done,” he grunted low, eyeing me steadily. There was a distinct feeling of predator and prey, but at the moment, I wasn’t sure which role was mine.

  “You’re naked,” I mumbled. “In my kitchen. Half–naked. Why are you naked?”

  He cocked his head and lifted a brow, and a slow grin spread across his lips. It wasn’t full, but it was enough for those long dimples on the sides of his mouth to peek out. “Cute toes.”

  My nostrils flared in my attempt at a deep breath without being obvious. I failed.

  His grin broadened. He was playing with me. The bastard was getting off on making me squirm.

  “Come here, Cami.” The huskiness in his voice stoked that warmth higher.

  I took two steps closer before I realized I acted on his command without thinking. My willpower was shot. That could be a very bad thing. I needed to up my game before he chewed me up and spit me out.

  If he thought taunting my attraction to him was the way to go, two could play at that game. He’d had the upper hand in every exchange since he showed up in Arrow Creek. It was time for a power exchange.

  I moved two steps further into the kitchen, and not a muscle in his body moved except his eyes. They tracked me, but he didn’t follow. He watched me like a hungry lion eyeing a gazelle, except I wasn’t about to be eaten.

  He was.

  I let the crutch fall from beneath my arm, and it clattered to the floor. His eyes moved to it. While he was distracted, I planted my palm on the countertop behind me and hopped up.

  The sound of my movement drew his attention back, because his eyes shot to me and they darkened.

  I scooted closer to the edge, letting my knees fall wider apart. Not blatantly obvious, but in what I hoped was a subtle invitation.

  If he wanted to play with fire, I was going to show him how much it hurt to get burned.

  Law’s nostrils flared, and he set his glass down none-to-gently. In three long strides, he was across the kitchen and working his hips between my spread thighs. “Is this what you’re asking for, baby?”

  A shiver rode down my spine.

  He pressed forward, the hard ridge of his erection rolling against my sensitive clit. I jerked at the contact.

  I swallowed once to clear my throat and tried to control my breathing. “Is this what you want?” The sound of my voice was different than usual. It was high and soft and inviting.

  “Only every day for the last fifteen years.”

  “Oh,” I moaned. I was losing my grip on the game. I should’ve been on top here, but he quickly regained control. In a desperate attempt to take it back, I forced a hand between us, into the open flap of his jeans, and slid it down the length of his hard cock, palming him through his cotton underwear.

  I couldn’t say for sure which of us groaned louder, but Law punctuated his with an, “Oh, fuck yeah.”

  Those words went straight to the fire in my stomach, and I stroked him.

  He planted a hand by my hip for support and wrapped the other around my upper back, his fingers cupping the back of my head. He held me steady, making it so I couldn’t move away, and forced me to look in his eyes. Our foreheads touched. Our breaths mingled in the space between us. And suddenly, I knew th
ere would be no backing down. Not from him, and definitely not from me.

  I’d had my first touch of Law. Not in years. Ever.

  And there was no way I was about to let him go.

  While holding my eyes, he swiveled his hips, forcing a tempo he liked. One I liked, too. It changed the angle and allowed me to explore more of his incredible size.

  “I want to feel your hand on my dick,” he growled, then thrust his hips forward, filling my palm.

  “It is.” My face flushed. Wasn’t this what he wanted? How did I communicate with a man who had years of experience ahead of me? I’d never talked about a man’s dick, let alone to that man’s face while stroking said dick. The thought embarrassed and terrified me.

  Law let go of my head to reach between us and grasped my hand in his. I barely registered his other hand leaving the countertop and pushing his jeans and underwear off. The buckle on his belt hit the floor with a clank.

  “Like this.” He took my lips in an open kiss and dipped his tongue into my mouth. At the same time his lips hit mine, he wrapped both of our hands around his now bare erection and together we stroked him.

  I was lost in the feel of him; the hard warmth of his cock beneath my small palm, the sounds of the groans rumbling from deep in his chest, the strength of his hand wrapped around mine. Guiding me. Teaching me. His mouth taking mine in a passionate kiss that blew all others out of the water. His velvet tongue making love to mine like two long lost lovers.

  The warmth of his hand around mine disappeared, but I kept on going, stroking him the way he showed me he liked.

  His hands cupped my ass and lifted me into his arms. I had no choice but to clench his hips with my thighs and wrap my free arm around his shoulders. I thought the position might be hard for him, so my fingers on his cock slackened to hold his shoulders instead.

  “Don’t let go of my dick,” he growled into my mouth.

  The desperate sound of his voice had my fingers tightening again.

  He shuffled us forward a few steps, the sound of his belt dragging on the floor reminding me that his pants were around his ankles. I smiled against his mouth.

  Law pulled his lips away and looked into my eyes. He spread his fingers on my ass cheeks and dug them into the soft flesh. Their proximity to my pussy turned the dull throb into a tsunami wave of desire. “What’s funny? You won’t find much funny when I get my dick in you. You’ll be too busy screaming.”

  Oh, god. The smile dropped from my face. We were going to... Of course, that’s where this was heading. It’s exactly what I wanted. Why then, was an inkling of fear creeping in?

  We hit the hallway, and suddenly we were going down. I let out an abrupt scream that Law silenced with his lips. He kissed me hard, swirling his tongue in my mouth and cupping the back of my head.

  His knees hit the carpet first, followed by his elbow from the arm he’d wrapped around my back. He cushioned me so perfectly, I hardly felt a thing.

  Breaking the kiss, he sat back on his heels. Power radiated off him as he loomed over me. His body was big and built, and I was about to get an uninhibited view. Reaching one arm over his head, he grasped his shirt by the neckline and pulled it off in one fluid motion.

  Now I could see that the dark hair from his abdomen continued up over his pecs. Thicker in between where it crossed over his sternum, it turned into just a sprinkling around his nipples. I trailed my gaze in the other direction, following the hair down to where it encircled the base of his cock. I could see what my accurate sense of touch determined before. His size was incredible.

  “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

  My eyes shot to his, and all I could do was nod in agreement.

  Law clenched the hem of my blue ribbed tank and tugged it straight over my head. I lifted my arms and did a sit up to help him. It went up and off without a hitch.

  As I laid back down, Law undid the button on my jeans and slid down the zipper. He gripped the denim at both of my hips and worked the material down over my butt. Gliding his hands up my bare thighs and hips, he grabbed a hold of my waist, lifted, and scooted us further down the hall. My jeans slid further down my legs.

  “Are we going to crawl to the bedroom?” I teased, trying to dispel some of the nerves I felt.

  “No, but it’s possible I might pound you all the way there.”

  “Oh I–ˮ About to reply, I suddenly sucked in a sharp breath instead and both my hands flew to grip his wrist where it rose and fell above my stomach.

  Law was done talking. He’d slipped his hand into my red thong, and his middle finger dipped through my wetness and plunged inside. Deep. His finger felt thick, a little strange, but not unpleasant. Any thought of discomfort went out the window when he curled his finger and rubbed a spot that made my back arch and my toes curl.

  “Fuck. Do that again.” He braced an arm at the side of my head and watched my face as he rubbed that spot deep inside me once more.

  I couldn’t have fought the response if I’d tried, and fuck me, I wasn’t trying. My back arched, crushing my breasts against his bare chest, my eyelids slammed shut, and my mouth opened on a moan.

  While his finger worked inside me—slow and steady before speeding up until I was circling my hips then slowing down again—the orgasm built.

  I knew it. I hadn’t had one in my entire life brought on by another person, but I’d given them to myself. It was the same tense feeling, like a spring coiling in my stomach. Sooner or later, the pressure would be too much and it would snap. There was no stopping it.

  Law leaned forward and sank his teeth into the muscle where my neck meets my shoulder. I screamed, nearly coming at the sudden change in sensation, but then his words stopped me in my tracks.

  “So, is this your normal M. O.?” he crooned, the question and the sound of his voice confusing me.

  “What do you mean?”

  He pushed back a little, looming over me on one arm, his finger still deep inside me while he talked. “You know. Kiss one guy, kiss another the next week. Next thing you know, you’re nearly naked, about to come on one guy’s hand, while having plans for a date later with the other guy.”

  My date with Nathan. Oh, shit, shit, shit! “Law, we shouldn’t.”

  His finger swirled inside of me, making me do that arch, eyeroll thing again. “Ah!”

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind sharing you a little bit. I’ve dreamt of taking you for so long, it’s worth it.” A little malice entered his voice. “Besides, it’s not me who has to sit across from some random date with another man’s come still inside me.” He worked a second finger inside me and pressed down. My legs shook.

  I didn’t want to look in his eyes, so I closed mine. His words stung, but there was truth behind them. I’d dreamt about this too, and I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to. I was too far gone. I could be pissed later. Right now, I was so turned on that I thought I’d die if he stopped.

  “Jesus, Cami.” He lowered his forehead to mine. I couldn’t help it, I peeked and saw his eyes were now closed, too. “You’re so goddamned tight. How is that even possible?”

  A strangled breath escaped. “I don’t...I mean, I’m not...I’ve never...” What was I even trying to say? My chest ached, and in order to push it away, I grasped the sides of his head with both hands and pulled his mouth to mine.

  He groaned into my mouth, and I was pleased he let me have control.

  For a moment.

  It didn’t last long. Whatever agenda Law seemed to have, he was on a mission to complete it.

  Wrenching his mouth from mine left us both gasping for air. He pushed back and lowered himself down my body, dropping to a forearm between my spread thighs. Seconds passed as he watched himself finger me, a look of desire on his face.

  His warm breath fanned over my sensitive flesh, and my hips jerked in response. His brows creased, and he shot me a curious glance before looking at my pussy again.

  Without warning, he lowered his head and dipped his to
ngue into my wet slit. Just once.

  My pussy clenched tight around his fingers and a scream of pleasure erupted from my throat. I was so close to coming.

  Law lifted his eyes to mine, held me enraptured with a steady stare, and plunged his tongue in with his fingers.

  My hips jerked hard, but he wasn’t finished. His fingers scissored apart, and his tongue fluttered relentlessly in the space between them, hitting nerves deep inside me I had no idea existed. Three seconds later, the tsunami building inside me made landfall, and my orgasm pulsed rhythmically through me, squeezing his fingers in a tight grip.

  My eyes rolled back, and I swore I blacked out from the pleasure. I’d never felt anything like it in my entire life.

  “Hey, Cami?” His husky voice sounded from somewhere near my hips.

  “Yeah?” I didn’t bother opening my eyes to answer.

  Wiping his mouth on my inner thigh, he placed a soft kiss there. He pressed another kiss a little lower and traced the crease of my groin as he spoke. “Just curious, but you’ve done that before, right?”

  Embarrassment overtook everything else, and I flung an arm across my eyes. “No,” I mumbled.

  “Hey.” He nipped at my lower stomach, making the muscle clench and a shot of desire rush through me. “Look at me, darlin’.”

  I gave him my eyes. The vulnerability in his startled me.

  “Pleased out of my damn mind that there was something left for me to be a first for you.” His voice was thick and sounded stuffy as if he were getting a cold.

  Tears welled in my eyes. “Then you should know,” I began but looked away to calm my racing heart. He gave me a second, and I was grateful for that. I didn’t know why, after all the fighting we’d done, I was giving him this. All I knew was it felt like a step in the right direction.

  “It’s not a first, so it’s not the same...”

  “What’s not the same?” He pushed himself up my body and cupped my cheek.

  This was wrong, and I was selfish, but I couldn’t make myself stop. I should’ve stopped us before we reached the tipping point of no return. I didn’t, so I had no other choice but to keep on trucking. “There’s been nobody for me since I left Logansville.”