At the Risk of Forgetting

by A. M. Wilson

  I didn’t think about what that meant.

  The dance floor was straight ahead, and I found Kiersten, Rhett, and Nathan immediately. Kiersten and Rhett were grinding on one another, dancing like two lovers who know each other’s bodies well. I moved beside them and did my best to make it clear to Nathan that we would not be dancing like that.

  He seemed to take the hint, dancing close but without touching me.

  Between the alcohol and the rapidly changing songs, I easily lost track of time. It seemed like mere minutes passed before I was ready for a break. My mouth felt stuffed with cotton, and the flush on my cheeks was begging for something cold. I stopped dancing in order to dig my cell out of my clutch to check the time. It was just after midnight.

  The lack of movement gave Nathan the perfect opportunity to sneak up on me. Hands gripped my hips and pulled me close, and his forehead pressed against my temple. When he spoke, I could smell the gin on his warm breath. His lips brushed against my cheek when he moved them.

  “I don’t think I told you how fucking beautiful you look in that dress.”

  He shifted his hands and traced a single finger over the cutout beneath my breasts.

  “Nathan,” I warned. As I lifted my eyes, I caught someone starting at us from over his shoulder. Law stood near the back of the dancefloor, his eyes steady on mine. His date was conversing animatedly, but she’d lost his attention, just as Nathan had lost mine.

  He twisted his head. “I’m sorry, Cami. I like you, and I feel like if you’d just listen to me, we could give this thing a try.”

  I shook my head, dislodging his weight from mine. “No. I’m sorry, but no.”

  Kiersten and Rhett had graduated to sucking face. I didn’t want to bother them, so I quietly slipped away, leaving the three on the dance floor. Four, if you counted Law.

  I went down the back hall. It was time to step outside to cool off and call a cab. I didn’t make it that far. A hand wrapped tightly around my forearm and spun me around, pressing my back against the cool, concrete wall.

  My eyes widened in shock. I tried to pull my hand away, but in his drunkenness, he was holding on too tight. “Nathan,” I gasped, and a shiver of fear ran through me. “Let me go.”

  “Just listen to me.”

  “No.” I stated firmly, keeping my eyes on his drunken ones as steady as I could. Unfortunately, we were both drunk and that made matters worse.

  His forehead creased. “Why do you look so afraid? I’d never hurt you.”

  “You are, Nathan. Your hand is hurting me.”

  “I think I’m in love with you.” He spoke as if I hadn’t. As if he was too drunk to hear me, which he probably was. His eyes turned lazy and the lids lowered.

  “No, you’re not. You’re drunk and you need to let me go.”

  His thigh wedged between mine, forcing them apart, and the hem of my dress rode higher. He moved his bruising grip from my forearm to my hand and snatched the other, pressing both tightly to the wall.

  I was pinned.

  He was going to kiss me, and I was powerless to stop it.

  His head dipped, and without another word, he swallowed my protest when his mouth hit mine. This was nothing like our first kiss. It wasn’t sweet and exploring. It was rough and stealing something I didn’t want him to have.

  His body was abruptly ripped from mine and thrown against the opposite wall. Harsh breaths echoed in the cramped, dark space. I couldn’t tell who they belonged to. Law stood beside me, staring down Nathan with his face a terrifying mask of rage.

  “Don’t ever fucking touch her.” He didn’t shout; the words ripped from him in a deep growl.

  Nathan looked between the two of us, and his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Cami.”

  Law didn’t wait to hear what else he had to say. That, or he needed to leave before he lost control. He wrapped his arm around my upper back and guided me down the hall to the exit.

  I was trembling. He shrugged out of his jacked and wrapped me in it. I breathed in his warm scent and used it to ground me. What the hell just happened?

  We went up a flight of stairs, and he held the door open. Bitter cold greeted me, but I welcomed it. My body burned from the mixture of alcohol, dancing, and the recent encounter.

  Words weren’t spoken between us as we walked. I didn’t know where we were going until headlights flashed through the falling snow in front of us. He’d brought me to his truck. Opening the passenger side for me, he waited for me to get in, then rounded the hood to his door.

  I tugged out my phone from my clutch and sent Kiersten a text telling her who I was with and that I was safe. I wished her a happy evening with Rhett, then tucked my phone away again. I would have turned it off, except Evelyn was out of town. I needed to remain accessible. I just hoped Nathan didn’t try to contact me.

  Law’s rage seemed to expand within the confines of his truck. Enclosed inside, he fired the engine and cranked the heat. Within seconds, the windows began to fog, and I regained some feeling in my cold, numbed fingertips.

  Silence stretched as seconds turned to minutes, but Law didn’t speak.

  “He’s not a bad guy. We were drunk.”

  Painfully slow, Law turned his head my direction. “Did he touch you?”

  The question confused me. Didn’t he see him kissing me? “He kissed me­–ˮ

  “Did he touch you?” This time Law looked pointedly at my body. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest at the thoughts he must have going through his head.

  “No, nothing like that. He only kissed me.” I left out the part of him touching the skin of my ribs and shoving his thigh between mine. I didn’t need Law flipping out. Even though he shouldn’t have done it, Nathan was drunk. He’s not a bad guy, and he didn’t intend to hurt me. If Law hadn’t shown up, I firmly believed he wouldn’t have gone any further than he did.

  Law shoved a restless hand through his hair. “Good. I wasn’t looking forward to going back in the cold to break his fucking fingers.”

  “Thank you. I can call a cab so you can get back inside.”

  He snorted. “No and no.”

  “What about your date?”

  He drummed his fingertips on the steering wheel. “She wasn’t my date. I met her there.”

  The response set fire to my blood. “Oh, you’re doing that often now?”

  “What?”

  I drew his coat tighter around me and folded my arms over my chest. “What about the blonde a couple weeks ago?”

  His nostrils flared. He leaned forward and swiped a piece of dust off his dash.

  “Exactly. So yeah, I’m going to call a cab.”

  “They’re all you,” he muttered beneath his breath.

  “Excuse me?” The hand I was reaching into my clutch froze at his words. I withdrew it and tossed my clutch on the dash.

  “They’re all you! Every single one. I can’t get rid of you. And believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to let go of everything I remember about you. The taste of you won’t leave me, and when I close my eyes, I can hear you moaning my name. I give up, Cami. If I can’t get rid of you, then I have to have you.”

  “I don’t believe that’s solely your choice to make.” Even as I tried to push him away, my heart raced from his words. Did I dare to hope he meant what he said? What were the odds this would end up like every other time he kissed me or touched me?

  His arm shot out, hooked me around the waist, and dragged me across the full bench seat until I was firmly in his lap. His other arm barricaded me in.

  “I never again, in my life, want to watch you kiss another man. Those lips are mine. This pussy,” his hand dropped to cup me between my legs, “is mine. You have always been mine. From that very first day I told you I was in love with you until now. Mine.”

  He crushed our lips together, fingers digging into my back to pull me close. It wasn’t enough. Even with my breasts smashed against his chest, I didn’t feel close enough. I dropped my hands to the hem of m
y skirt, hiked the fabric up so high it rode straight over my ass and settled around my waist, and rose onto my knees. Law slid to the side, I lifted one leg to let him under, and lowered myself back down to straddle his lap.

  Desperate to feel him, I slipped my hands beneath the hem of his dark, button down shirt, then up over the soft hair on his chest.

  He broke the kiss. Our chests rose and fell together as we caught our breaths. One hand steadied me at my hip, while his other dropped to my exposed thigh. He ran his hand up to the crease of my groin and rubbed his thumb along my fabric-covered clit. I jerked in his lap.

  “Your body responds like that because it’s mine.” Another swipe, another jerk, and the wetness soaked my thong. His hand kept moving, this time in. He slipped his index finger between the fabric and my pussy, and ran it along the string. It slipped from where it was nestled between my cheeks, eliciting a moan from me.

  His other hand released my hip, and he squeezed it between us. Holding his index finger in front of my face, “Suck,” he commanded.

  I opened my mouth without hesitation, and he slipped the digit inside. I stroked it with my tongue, licking, sucking, and teasing the edge with my teeth.

  Law groaned and flexed his hips so I could feel his hard erection beneath me. “I bet you give fantastic head,” he growled, his darkened eyes steady on mine.

  I shrugged with a coy smile and paused what I was doing to his finger. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done it.”

  His head fell back against the seat, and his eyes drifted closed. “Fuck yeah, baby, that’s mine, too.”

  Once satisfied with my sucking, he pulled the wet finger from my mouth, brought it back between my legs, and, where he was still holding my thong away from my body, rubbed the wetness against my other hole. The unfamiliar sensation caused me to bounce in his lap, and his responding smirk was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.

  “That’s going to be mine, too. Start you slow, but you’ll learn to love it.”

  “I don’t know, Law.” A low moan replaced the uncertainty in my tone as he rubbed the spot again.

  “Right now, I need to fuck you. Do you trust me?”

  “You’re going to do it now?” I yelped and started moving to get off his lap.

  He let go of the fabric of my panties with a snap, and clamped an arm around my waist. The other hand, however, prodded more insistently, and created a sensation that became more arousing by the second.

  “Not going to fuck you here.” To punctuate the location, he pressed deeply against my asshole. “Fuck you here.” He shifted his hand, slipping easily through the wetness to glide his pinky and ring finger inside me. At the same time they filled me, his index finger slipped in my ass to the first knuckle.

  “Oh, my god,” I breathed, dropping my forehead against his shoulder.

  All his fingers moved, pumping slowly in and out of both holes. The sensation was nothing like I’d ever felt before.

  “I’m going to die if you stop.”

  “I’m not going to stop. Get ready, because you’re about to take my cock.”

  My legs shook as I began rocking my hips on his hand. The movement came instinctually, and I couldn’t stop it.

  Not that I wanted to. I absolutely did not want to.

  He worked himself free with his other hand, then moved it to my waist. The pressure of his touch urged me to lift up. I did, and he sunk lower in the seat, slid his two little fingers out of my pussy, and positioned his cock below me.

  “Reach down and put me in you, baby. Hurry.”

  I did as he said, lined him up, and without waiting for him, I sunk myself down on his hard cock.

  “Jesus, fuck, you feel good. Ride me. I want to watch you take me.”

  His words spurred me on. I’d never done this before, but this was Law. If I’d had any insecurities, the look of pure, unadulterated bliss on his face completely wiped them away.

  So, with his cock in my pussy and his finger filling my ass, I rode him.

  The fogged windows gave the illusion of privacy, but even if they were wide open, I was so far past caring. The feel of his warm flesh beneath me, filling me, his free hand touching me, kept my attention completely.

  Our breathing increased, the sound of our skin slapping together grew louder, and then I was there, clenching around his finger and cock, and riding the tidal wave of an orgasm like I’d never felt in my life.

  He gave that to me, letting me come down before he took over. Powering into me, he slipped his finger from my hole, and the loss of fullness nearly sent me over the edge again. A few more pumps and he stilled, planted to the root, his dick started throbbing, and the deep sensation threw me into another orgasm.

  His mouth took mine, softer this time, and our breathing slowed together. When he pulled away, he ran is thumb down the side of my cheek. “Why are you so incredible?”

  The question flattered me and warmed me. In answer, I leaned in and sucked gently at his neck.

  His fingers flexed into my hips. “Keep that up, and I’m going to fuck you again.”

  My head shot up. “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing. I’d rather get you home first, but I won’t make it there if you don’t keep your mouth to yourself.”

  I crawled off, fixed my thong, tugged my skirt down, and buckled up.

  Law’s response wasn’t verbal either. He threw the truck into drive.

  I reciprocated by giving my very first blow job the entire way to his house.

  11.

  The incessant ringing of my phone wouldn’t stop. It sucked because I wanted to sleep in, but it really freakin’ sucked because I was having a good dream. I threw a hand out towards my nightstand, slapping things out of the way in a sloppy attempt at locating my phone.

  Something clattered loudly to the floor. I hoped that wasn’t it.

  The ringing stopped, and I sighed. Thank you, universe. I dove my head back beneath my pillows.

  The past two days were something out of a dream. I didn’t know two people could make love so many times and in so many ways. Other than coming up for food, we spent the weekend naked in his bed, in the house he built himself just outside the city limits.

  Yep. He built his own house. A dream house, at that. Not only was it new, which meant it was cool and modern, but he had amazing taste. Somewhere during a sustenance break, he gave me a grand tour. He showed me the outdoor shower and sauna (that we had sex in), a hot tub beneath a retractable awning (that we also had sex in), and the master walk-in, stone shower with a built-in bench seat that was long enough that Law could lay down and still have room for me to sit.

  I learned the reason he moved to Arrow Creek was for work, but he wasn’t an exterminator. That was a temporary job he picked up to help a friend. Day to day, he worked as a general contractor at his own business. He won a bid to build a new strip mall beginning in the spring, and he wanted to come early to get the lay of the land.

  My phone started up again, crushing my opportunity to relive the weekend.

  The pillow came off and flew across the room. I tore the blankets off my body next and pushed into a sitting position.

  “I’m up! I’m freaking up!”

  Good thing Evelyn wasn’t home. She’d think I’d gone crazy yelling at nobody in my room.

  I found my phone pushed to the other side of my night stand.

  Nathan calling...

  I groaned and rubbed my eyes, setting the phone back down as memories of the other night flashed through my mind. Why is he calling so early in the morning?

  I don’t even know what time it is.

  I picked the phone back up.

  9: 47 a. m.

  Okay, so it’s not the crack of dawn but still early after a weekend of zero sleep.

  The phone stopped ringing so I set it back down.

  I should probably get up now that I’m awake. But I was having such a good dream. Law and me, naked, his hands and mouth doing delicious things to my body t
hat he’s been the only one to do.

  The ringing started again.

  Something’s wrong. Nathan felt bad, I’m sure, and probably wanted to apologize, but he wouldn’t keep calling me for that. He knew me well enough to know that calling me repeatedly when I didn’t want to answer would only piss me off.

  No. Something was wrong. Acid crawled up my esophagus and my stomach churned as I picked up my phone and hit the green button.

  “Nathan.” His name scraped out of my throat.

  “Cami.” That one word was the crack that crumbled my entire world. So much raw pain riddled that word it was nearly palpable.

  “What is it. Tell me what’s going on.” Years of emergency training set me into motion. I was stripped down and tugging on my jeans when he spoke.

  He cleared his throat. “You need to get in your car and meet me at the hospital.” His words were measured and concise, but it was the weight of what wasn’t spoken that caused my arms to shake.

  I pulled the phone away from my head and tugged a sweatshirt on, before bringing it back. “What happened, Nathan, who is it?”

  Socks. Keys. Wallet. Shoes. I was sprinting down the hall when he still hadn’t answered me. I’d just hit the foyer when I asked again. “Who is it?” I held my keys at my side, dangling from my index finger. Ragged breaths echoed around the small space as I waited for him to get it over with.

  “Cami–ˮ

  The calm slipped and I screeched. “Who is it?”

  “It’s Evelyn.”

  Two seconds flat the door was ripped open. I cleared the stairs and fired the engine of my car to life.

  Nathan must have heard it, and it knocked him out of whatever daze he’d been in. “You need to drive careful. The snow last night left a lot of frozen areas on the road. Power’s out all across town.”

  “You need to tell me what happened right now.”

  “Picked up a shift. A call came through right before I called you. I’m in the ambulance right now. Single car accident. Hit a patch of black ice. I don’t know who got the information, but they shared it was Evelyn.”

  Depressing the gas pedal, all I saw was a blur of white. The trees, buildings, powerlines all blended together into a snowy canvas. The only thing on my mind was getting to Evelyn as quickly as possible. “Where is she?”