Unsound

by Chantal Fernando

  Xander invited me, not Tag.

  “No thanks,” I say. “I have some things I need to do anyway.”

  “Like what?” Tag asks, looking interested.

  “Just things,” I reply evasively. I had to call my mother because it was her birthday, and I wanted to be alone to do it. “You guys have fun.”

  I’m about to turn and walk away when Tag gently grabs me by my upper arm. “Xander, give me a sec.”

  Xander stands. “I’ll wait for you out front.”

  Xander leaves, and Tag spins me around and corners me against the table. “Is everything okay?”

  I nod. “Everything is fine.”

  “You sure? I wasn’t too rough last night, was I?” he asks, looking concerned.

  “Tag,” I whisper. “Last night was amazing. I loved every second of it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I guess I just don’t know what to do, you know? Can I just kiss you whenever I want? Hug you? Or are you going to look at that and think I want more and—”

  “Shit. I’ve really messed this up, haven’t I?” he groans. “You can kiss me whenever you want. We need to talk when I get back, okay? Don’t overthink things Clara. Just enjoy it, don’t question it.”

  “Okay.” I guess I could try that.

  “Summer’s bringing lunch over for you,” he says, kissing my lips twice.

  “Okay.”

  He smiles then, and it brightens his whole face. “Can’t wait for tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I ask breathlessly.

  He leans forward, and nibbles on the shell of my ear. “When I get to be inside you again.”

  Oh.

  I can’t wait either.

  *****

  “I miss you, Clara. Why won’t you talk to me? It wasn’t me that betrayed and ruined our family,” my mother sniffs.

  “I know that, Mum,” I say, trying not to feel guilty. It was always like this when we spoke, which was why I avoided it. I couldn’t not call her on her birthday though, so here I was. “What have you got planned for today?”

  “Your father is taking me out to dinner,” she says quietly.

  She was still with him, and I had nothing to say.

  “Right. Well you have a good time, Mum,” I say into my phone, staring up at the ceiling.

  “He wants to speak to you,” she says sadly.

  “I have nothing to say to him.”

  “He has his faults,” she says, causing me to scoff. Understatement of the year. “But he still loves you, Clara.”

  If that was love, I didn’t want anything to do with it.

  “He has two other children. He doesn’t need me,” I say, unable to mask the bitterness in my voice.

  “You’re his first born, and you know he loves you,” she says after a few moments.

  “This is why I don’t call you, Mum. I don’t want to see him, and that’s the end of the story, okay?”

  “Alright,” she says, sounding disappointed. “Are you doing okay? Do you need money? You know I’m always there if—”

  I cut her off. “I’m fine, Mum, but thanks for the offer.”

  “We worry about you, you know.”

  “I’m fine. I have some great friends here, and I’m getting by...” I trail off, wondering why my voice was sounding far away. “Did you put me on speakerphone?”

  “Your dad just wanted to hear your voice. Don’t get angry.”

  Angry? Don’t get angry?

  “If he loved me so much, maybe he should go back in time and not be a cheating bastard. Or I don’t know, maybe he should wear a condom so he doesn’t have illegitimate children running around.”

  “Clara—” Rage fills me at the sound of his voice.

  “I don’t want anything to do with you,” I grit into the phone, my fingers trembling.

  I hated him.

  Despised him.

  He was the first man to break my heart, when he should be the one I can trust above all others.

  “I’ve left her Clara,” he says quickly. “I’m with your mother and only your mother now.”

  “Congratulations,” I purr, sarcasm lacing my tone. “I hope the two of you have a nice life. Mum, I’ll call you at Christmas.”

  With that parting shot, I hang up.

  “Motherfucker,” I mumble under my breath, sitting up on my bed. When my gaze hits the door, my jaw drops open.

  “How long have you been standing there?” I ask Tag who is leaning against the door watching me.

  “Long enough,” he replies, expression unreadable.

  Well. Fuck.

  “So he had another girlfriend and two kids?” he asks in shock after I tell him the whole story. “And he thought it was okay to keep both families?”

  I shrug. “If both women are putting up with it, why would he give one up? He was having his cake and eating it.”

  “I’m so fuckin’ sorry he did that to you. He’s a piece of shit.”

  I make an extremely unsexy noise of agreement. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I just want to forget it. How was the ride?”

  “Good,” he replies¸ turning his head on the pillow to me. He’s lying on his back with his arms crossed behind his head while I’m sitting half on my knees, half on my butt on the other side of the bed. “Next time, I’ll take you for a ride.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Now about before,” he says, studying me. “You were awkward around me this morning. I don’t like it, so stop.”

  My mouth drops open. “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

  He grins, eyes sparkling. “We’re friends first, remember. If you have something to say or ask, then do it. If you want to touch me, then do it. I never want you to hesitate around me.”

  “You set the rules,” I reply, my fingers gripping onto the bed sheets. “You made it clear it was casual, but I didn’t know if that meant I could be casually affectionate.”

  “You think too much,” he rumbles. “Now come here and kiss me. I missed you.”

  He did?

  Smiling, I come forward and lean down, kissing his lips gently. “I missed you too.”

  “Thank you for telling me about your parents,” he whispers against my mouth. “I know that you like to keep everything to yourself, and I know what a big deal is that you trusted me enough to tell me everything.”

  “I trust you,” I say, realising it was the truth. “I don’t know why, but I do.”

  “I’m a trustworthy guy.”

  Except with my heart.

  “Tag?”

  “Hmmmm?”

  “What’s your full name?” I blurt out. “Is Tag short for anything?”

  He brushes his mouth against my jawline. “You’re only asking me that now?”

  “I only just thought of it.”

  “It’s not shortened for anything. It’s just Tag.”

  “Bit hipster, isn’t it?” I tease, making him laugh.

  “Fuck you’re cute,” he murmurs, trailing his lips down my neck. “I want to taste you again, will you let me?”

  He was asking permission? “Anytime, Tag, anytime.”

  He pulls back, and I watch his lips quirk. “Take those pants off and spread wide for me, Sweetheart.”

  My eyes widen. Holy shit.

  “Yes Sir,” I reply instantly.

  Tag grins, showing off his white teeth, his eyes darkening. “Just Tag will do.”

  Was that amusement in his tone?

  Had I been reading too many sexy romance novels?

  “Clara…”

  Oh right, I was told to undress.

  Sliding off the bed, I remove my t-shirt, pants, then bra and panties. Crawling back on the bed, I lie down, facing him, and kiss him.

  “You are so beautiful, Clara,” he says, rolling me onto my back and pushing me into the mattress.

  “You are so dressed,” I reply, my eyes heavy lidded. “I think you need to get naked so we’re on an even level playing field.”

&nbs
p; His eyes flash with pleasure. “First I want my mouth on you.”

  I gulp. “Okay.”

  He kisses me deeply, one hand tangling in my hair and the other trailing down to my pussy. He strokes me, sliding his finger inside, then toys with my clit while I moan into his mouth.

  So good.

  He knows just how to touch me—the only plus side of being with a man with so much experience.

  Wet kisses start at my neck and end on my hip bone before he nibbles on the inside of my thighs. Then, finally, his mouth is on me.

  “Fuck,” I grit out, my hands holding onto his head, silently begging for more.

  He gives it to me.

  And when I come, I scream his name.

  *****

  “So you’re just seeing each other? But not dating?” Summer asks, looking confused. “Does that mean you’re not exclusive?”

  I sigh, putting down the glass in my hand. “I’m trying not to overthink it. Can’t I just enjoy myself without questioning it?”

  Summer tilts her head to the side. “I don’t know, can you?”

  “He’s Tag. He’s amazing, sweet, and incredible in bed,” I say. “Oh and generous. He’s damn generous in bed.”

  In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m ruined for all other men.

  “I knew it,” Summer says, shrugging. “What? He seems like he would be.”

  “Does Reid know you wonder about what his friends are like in bed?” I tease.

  Her eyes widen. “No. And if you want them to live, you will never repeat it.”

  We both burst out laughing.

  “As long as you’re happy,” she says. “That’s all that matters. I know Tag says it isn’t serious, but he acts like it is. Sometimes you need to go by actions not words, and his actions are saying he’s in deep with you.”

  I didn’t want to feel hope at her words, but it was there.

  “I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens,” I say, looking out over the empty bar. Tag and Ryan were outside looking at Ryan’s new car, and Summer and I were manning the bar. We only had two customers, so we were having a chat.

  “Yeah. He’s a good man though. I’m sure he will surprise you.”

  I wasn’t so sure. He was honest in what he wanted, and I needed to respect that.

  “I haven’t told him yet,” I say. “But I found a room I can rent in a shared house. It has two uni students living there, and they’re looking for a third. The rent is cheap, and it’s a great location.”

  Summer gives me an odd look. “You think Tag will be okay with that?”

  I shrug. “I appreciate him helping me out, but I can’t stay at his house forever.”

  “Are the two uni students male or female?” she asks, her eyes narrowing.

  “One male one female,” I reply. “Why?”

  Summer smirks. “You’re gorgeous. You living with another man is going to drive him insane.”

  Well, he is going to have to deal.

  Tag and Ryan walk back into the bar. They are both good looking. Anyone could see why this place was normally swarming with females. It was early still, only five PM, and the place would be filling out by about seven. Tag’s eyes are focused on me, and mine on him. We are drawn to each other, always. It is a weird sensation, but one I am getting used to. It is almost as if I can feel when he enters and exits a room.

  “Clara, do you want to make out in the back of Ryan’s new car?” Tag calls out, eyes bright with mischief.

  “Hell no,” Ryan replies, smirking. “Christening the back seat is saved for Taiya.”

  I’d never met Ryan’s wife, Taiya, but I’ve heard she is beautiful inside and out. Summer and her were really good friends. Taiya was pregnant and didn’t come out to the bar much, or so I was told.

  Tag’s arm comes around me as he pulls me back against his chest. “Working hard I see.”

  I playfully elbow him. “Everything is done, and you know it. Just waiting for the place to fill out now.”

  His eyes dart to the back door leading to the office. Then, he glances at Ryan, who cracks up laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask, glancing between the two of them.

  Summer smirks. “Ryan used to use that room as a fuck pad before he settled down.”

  My gaze cuts to Ryan. “Really?”

  He shrugs sheepishly and leans against the counter. “It’s not very comfortable.”

  Tag kisses the side of my neck. “Ryan, Clara and I need a break.”

  “That can’t be very sanitary,” I whisper to him, frowning.

  Summer laughs. “I’ll disinfect the room after.”

  “And their hands,” Ryan adds.

  “And mouths,” Tag says, grinning.

  I look between all of them “Yeah, no. This is weird.”

  Tag’s body shakes with silent laughter. I spin around and rest my breasts against his hard chest. “Why are you laughing? You have to wait all night until we get home to get some action now.”

  “Home?” he asks, expression softening.

  I shrug. “It’s my home for now.”

  “Until she moves in with some sexy uni dude!” Summer calls out.

  Tag looks at Summer then back at me. “What’s she talking about?”

  I give Summer a less than impressed look then look Tag right in the eye. “I found a place to rent. I’ll be sharing with two students, one guy and one girl.”

  He’s silent for a few tense seconds. “When were you going to tell me?”

  “I just saw the ad today and called them,” I say. “I was going to tell you tonight.”

  “I don’t think—”

  He trails off when a large group of male customers walks in.

  “Later,” he mouths at me, and I nod.

  Looks like we have unfinished business.

  “So how old is this guy?” Tag asks as I walk out of the shower, wrapped in a fluffy, white towel.

  I sigh. “I don’t know. I just know he goes to uni. I don’t have any other information.”

  “So, he could be a fuckin’ rapist or something?”

  I purse my lips. “Tag, come on. I can’t just live here with you forever.”

  “Why not?” he asks, his eyes widening like he’d surprised himself.

  “Tag,” I say quietly, tilting my head to the side. “I don’t know what you want from me here. You don’t want to be in a relationship with me yet you don’t want me to move out.”

  He rubs the back of his neck. “You’re already here, so you may as well stay. You know I like having you here. You don’t have to go live with some fuckin’ horny stranger.”

  “That’s what you’re worried about? I’m crazy over you Tag. You think I’m going to cheat on you the first chance I get? Because I’m not like that. Even if you’re not serious about me, I’m serious about you. I’m yours Tag, even if you’re not mine.”

  He studies me for a few moments, his eyes flashing with various emotions I can’t pinpoint.

  “You want something from me I can’t give you,” he replies, voice sounding hoarse.

  What was his deal with commitment? Did he have a bad relationship? Maybe something to do with Bella’s mum? It felt like I was paying for another woman’s mistakes. I don’t think he realised we were in a relationship, just without the label. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to bring it up, because it would probably make him run scared.

  “I know Tag,” I murmur. “But then don’t expect me to do what you want. If I want to move out with whomever, I’ll do it. And you can’t exactly say anything now can you?”

  A muscle ticks in his jaw. “You just said you were mine.”

  “I did, and I mean it. But like I also said, I’m yours, but you’re not mine. What is it you once said to me? Oh right, you’re always single. So are you single Tag? Even now?”

  My voice breaks on the last few words.

  “I haven’t been with anyone but you since we slept together,” he says, scanning my face.

 
Was he asking me to read between the lines? Go by actions and not words? I could do that, but eventually, I would want to hear the words from him.

  Suddenly, he stand and walks to me. Gripping my towel, he pulls it off me and lets it fall to the floor. “You’re mine, Clara. I’m glad you know it.”

  Then, his mouth is on mine, and I forget what we were arguing about in the first place.

  *****

  The next day, Tag has gone to pick up some lunch for us when there’s a knock at the door. Wondering who it could be, and hoping it wasn’t Xander dropping by again, I rush to the door and open it.

  “Clara!” Bella yells, drawing my gaze down to her.

  “Hello cutie,” I say to her, then lift my eyes back up to the woman standing next to her.

  Kaley. I was finally meeting Tag’s ex-girlfriend.

  “Uh hi,” she says, smiling nervously. “I’m Kaley. Is Tag home?”

  I shake my head. “He just went out. Will probably be another ten minutes or so.” I open the door wider. “Would you like to come in?”

  Kaley nods and steps inside the house, Bella’s hand in hers. We all walk into the lounge room and take a seat. “Can I get either of you a drink or something?”

  Great, now I was playing host at Tag’s house, to his ex and their daughter.

  This is awkward as hell.

  “We’re fine, thanks,” she says. “I have a last minute appointment I need to go to, so I was wanted Tag to watch Bella.”

  I look at her. “No school today, Bella?”

  She shakes her head. “Nope. Can I do your hair again? It’s so red and pretty.”

  I grin. “Of course you can. You know where the stuff is.”

  She smiles and jumps off the couch, walking straight to the bathroom where I keep my brush and accessories.

  “She really likes you,” Kaley says, bringing my attention back to her.

  “She’s a great kid.”

  “That she is,” she murmurs. “Tag is really happy, you know? I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy.”

  I swallow, feeling a little shy. “Thank you.”

  Why did I just thank her? I have no idea.

  “I cheated on him,” she blurts out, looking down at her hands. “I hurt him. Then, he started sleeping around. You’re the first woman he’s been serious about since me.”