Tears of a Clown

by MB Mulhall

  The disgruntled worker at the end of the line stood stupefied, her mouth open as if she were catching flies, as Darcy tried to pay for her nutritious but inedible lunch. She cleared her throat loudly, hoping to snap the woman out of her stupor, but it didn’t work.

  “Sooo is lunch free for new kids?” Darcy asked, her voice loud even over the cacophony of lunchroom sounds, not bothering to hide her annoyance. That got the woman out of her daze.

  “Of course not,” the woman snapped, frowning.

  “Yeah, didn’t think so. So how about taking the money I’ve been trying to give you for five minutes now? There’s a line backing up ya know?” The bills were snatched out of Darcy’s hand as the woman muttered under her breath. Her change was practically thrown back at her. The day was just getting better and better. She wondered if homeschooling was a valid option at this stage.

  Stepping aside before someone pushed her out of the way, Darcy surveyed the scene. The typical high school lunchroom cliques were in effect. Jocks and cheerleaders at one table, nerds at another. Band geeks and theatre freaks seemed to share a section. She scanned another time and couldn’t find a single goth among the crowd. She sighed. Sometimes the goth group would take her type in as a project of sorts, but she guessed the little Georgia town she’d been dumped in was overly religious and probably dubbed goths as Satanists or something equally evil. Stupid ill-informed people.

  “Darcy! Hey Darcy!” Her head swiveled towards the sound of her name. “Oooh please don’t let it be who I think it is.” But of course it was him. Who else would be yelling her name for all to hear across the cafeteria?

  Chaz was standing, waving his arms to boot.

  “Come sit over here!” he called with his trademark smile. Darcy groaned loudly. While she thought it would be nice to sit and eat with someone who actually seemed to like her (and it didn’t hurt that he was smoking hot) she had no desire to sit among the jocks and fluff head cheerleaders. Not to mention she noticed her step-sister was at that table, shooting daggers in her direction. Nope, she decided that would be the worst move she could make. Darcy flashed him a quick apologetic smile before turning and walking to a table against the window that was empty at one end.

  As she figured, the kids at the other end of the table ignored her completely. Just the way she liked it. She had dug her spork into the dog food looking substance in front of her when a tray plopped down across from her. Darcy looked up, spork half way to her mouth, and saw none other than Chaz sitting down across from her.

  “Hi!” he said. “I think I should warn you, eating the food here is hazardous to your health.”

  Darcy looked down at the gray mess on her spork as it slowly slid off the edge, likely committing suicide due to the embarrassment over what it had become.

  “Poor stuff. It was real food once,” Darcy mused. Chaz laughed loudly, attracting the attention of the kids at the other end of the table.

  “Yes well, eating it would be committing your own suicide. Here, have my apple.”

  “Thanks,” Darcy said dropping the spork with a splat and taking the offered apple. She normally wouldn’t eat such a thing because biting into it would make some of her makeup come off, but she was starving. A touch-up would be required after the floor to face episode of first period anyway.

  They ate in silence for a couple of minutes.

  “So won’t your fri-”

  “What brought yo-”

  They laughed when they realized they had both started talking at the same time.

  “You first,” Chaz said, the polite southern gentleman. Darcy smiled slightly but before she could open her mouth to finish her question, a blonde whirlwind plopped herself in Chaz’s lap, tossing her stuff on the table. Darcy’s eyes grew wide as she watched her tray of crap slide across the table, pushed by the entrance of a gigantic purple purse. She was totally going to wear her lunch.

  Chaz was oblivious to the impending food catastrophe as the blonde had thrown her arms around his neck and commenced with face sucking. Their make out session was interrupted by Darcy’s cry of dismay as the tray made contact with her chest, despite her fumbling to try and stop it. The two broke apart, Chaz looking stunned and slightly embarrassed. The blonde turned her head, her bright blue eyes wide and innocent as she looked at Darcy in all her messy glory.

  “Oh dear. Looks like you’ve got something all over your face.”

  Darcy saw red as she watched the blonde bimbo play innocent.

  “You. Stupid. Bitch. This is my favorite hoodie and now it’s ruined, thanks to you,” Darcy spat out. It was amazing to see how quickly the other girl’s eyes went from wide eyed innocence to narrow hatred filled orbs. She stood, her palms slapping down on the table top.

  “Who are you calling a bitch, you dumb clown faced whore?” Darcy laughed.

  “Whore, huh? I’m not the one who flashes my ass in an ugly pleated skirt to a bunch of overly testosteroned teenage boys and their dads at every football game.”

  The girls faced off. One could practically see the sparks of anger shooting from their eyes. Chaz tried to calm them down.

  “Come on now ladies. I’m sure it was just an accident. Liberty will clean it for you, Darcy.”

  Two venom filled gazes swung his way. He scooted back in his seat a bit, surprised by the weight of the hate that was suddenly aimed at him.

  “Now, now kids,” came a deep and velvety voice, “there’s no need to fight.” A heavy, well-toned arm slung itself over Darcy’s shoulders.

  “Judd.” Chaz greeted the new comer with narrowed eyes of his own and a flat tone.

  “Chazy baby, you handle the Lady Liberty over there and I’ll help the lovely Darcy get cleaned up before the period is over,” Judd said.

  Darcy turned to look at her new white knight in shining armor. White knight definitely wasn’t the right term to describe him. His skin was pale and smooth like marble and he had a thick head of pitch black hair. The eyes looking at her were a mixture of gold and green. She figured they were hazel and probably changed with what he wore. What he was wearing was what made her think white knight was the complete wrong term. Tight black jeans, not leaving much to the imagination, clung to thick thighs. His chest was adorned with a form fitting brick red tee decorated with an artistic tribal-like black design. A pair of black boots, a waist length black leather biker jacket and a thick silver chain from belt loop to pocket completed the look. He was the ultimate bad boy. If he rode a bike he’d be every teenage girl’s masturbation material and every parent’s worst nightmare.

  “Let’s go babe. I have something in my locker you can put on,” Judd said as he led her out of the cafeteria, food still dripping down her chest. “The Home Ec. Teacher has the hots for me so we’ll be able to drop your hoodie in the washer there.”

  Darcy was in a daze, mesmerized by the dark Adonis who had come to her aid. She followed him to his locker where he spun the dial and gave it a little kick, making it pop open. As he bent down to rummage through it, she took the opportunity to check out the back view; very nice indeed.

  “As much as I’d like to let you keep lookin’ babe, we’ve got to jet if we’re going to get you cleaned up in time,” he said looking over his shoulder, catching her checking him out. Twice in one day. She was so not slick. Darcy quickly dropped her head.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said turning away from him. He laughed, a loud rich sound.

  “Sure you don’t,” he said throwing an arm over her again. She normally didn’t like to be touched, especially by people she didn’t know, but he somehow made her feel comfortable.

  They made their way down the hall to the Home Ec. Room. A pleasantly plump teacher was behind the desk, grading papers. Judd walked up to her and leaned across her desk, greeting her with compliments on her hair, her outfit and the way she smelled like freshly baked cookies. The teacher soaked it up like a sponge that’d been out of water for a very long time. He smiled and winked and cajol
ed her into letting them use the machines in her back room.

  The teacher was so in La-La Land over the attention Judd was showering her with that she barely gave Darcy a glance when Judd motioned for her to move to the other room. He joined her shortly after, his hair looking slightly more disheveled than it had just minutes ago.

  “Oh my God, did you just…You wouldn’t have…,” Darcy said, shaking her head in disbelief as he just smiled at her. Extending his arm, he dropped a black and gray striped hooded sweatshirt on top of the washer.

  “This should fit you while the other is washing. I’ll stop back at the end of next period to throw it in the dyer and then you can pick it up at the end of the day.”

  “Thanks,” Darcy said. “Could you turn around or something?” Judd smirked.

  “Do I have to?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Darcy shrugged her shoulders and turned away slightly before pulling the dirty garment over her head. She was wearing a nice bra and he wouldn’t get a full on view. She figured he was going out of his way to help her so she could at least give him a little flash. Tossing the dirty hoodie in the machine, she added some detergent and turned it on a quick cycle before reaching for the lent article of clothing. She frowned when she realized it wasn’t where he had left it.

  “Looking for this?” a voice very close to her ear said.

  She turned slowly to find Judd standing right behind her, holding his sweatshirt. She tried to step back, to escape the heat she saw in his eyes, but she backed right into the machine. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attracted, who wouldn’t be, but she was so inexperienced, she was afraid he’d laugh at any attempt she made. He looked down to her ample chest, overflowing the lacy black bra.

  “Beautiful,” he said in a hushed tone.

  She felt heat rise in her body. No one had ever called her such a thing before. He placed both hands on the machine, trapping her. Leaning in, she could feel his hot breath on her burning skin. His smirk was the last thing she saw before her eyes closed on their own accord and his lush lips met hers.

  The kiss made her head swim. Darcy had had a couple of other unfortunate clumsy attempts at kissing, but none had made her feel like she was floating. When the wash machine suddenly kicked into the spin cycle, Darcy’s head instantly cleared and she remembered where she was. Firmly she pressed her hands against Judd’s rock hard chest, pushing him away. She felt a slight emptiness, a disappointment, when he finally broke away, but she knew it was the right thing to do.

  “We can’t do this here,” she said, shaking her head. He sighed and ran a hand through his thick dark hair.

  “I suppose you’re right,” he said. Tentatively, with slightly shaky hands, Darcy reached up and wiped black makeup off of Judd’s lips. If she wasn’t in desperate need of a touch up before, she certainly was after the past few minutes.

  Wordlessly he held out the sweatshirt. Darcy snatched it, drawing it over her head to cover her semi-nakedness. She was sure he could see the flush on her skin and how she could probably cut glass at the moment.

  “There’s a mirror over there,” Judd said cocking his head towards the other side of the room.

  Darcy was grateful for the space. She used some paper towels to clean off her neck and arms where some of the food had landed before fixing the black and white makeup. It was a quick job, not ideal, but it would have to do for the remainder of the day. She finished just in time, when the bell began to ring.

  Darcy headed for the door, but Judd caught her arm in a tight, almost painful, grip.

  “About what just happened, let’s uhh keep that between us for now, okay?” he said. Darcy felt a stab of pain in her chest. Of course he wouldn’t want people to know. He probably had a girlfriend, just like Chaz.

  “Oh, no problem,” she played it off as if it was no big deal. “Thanks for all your help.” She hurried out the door before he could say anything else.

  Thankfully, there were only three periods left in the day. Darcy did her best to keep to herself and get through them. Most of the pointing and jokes went unnoticed as she kept replaying the laundry room scene in her head. Again and again and again. Her first real kiss. With a super-hot guy! Of course she could never tell anyone and no one would believe her if she did, but it was a nice secret to have. Thoughts of it made her stomach all quivery.

  As she was walking to her final class, she passed Chaz in the hallway. He smiled and tried to get her attention, but she just ignored him. Of course he had a girlfriend. She was surprised how much it hurt to find that out. He wasn’t being nice because he was interested; he was being nice because he was a nice guy. He probably didn’t deserve her cold shoulder, but she couldn’t deal with him and that goddamn smile at the moment.

  When the final bell rang, Darcy heaved a loud sigh of relief. It was over. She waited until the halls cleared a little before making her way to the Home Ec. room. Thankfully, it was empty, teacher included. In the back room, her hoodie was sitting on top of the dryer, neatly folded. She carefully put it into her backpack figuring why dirty it for the walk home. She could wash Judd’s and give it back to him the next day.

  There were some kids milling around for sports and clubs, but most seemed to ignore her, which was nice. Busting out a side door, she was overcome by the humidity in the air. Detroit was humid in the summertime, but never as bad as it was in Georgia. She’d be a mess of runny makeup and flat sweaty hair by the time she got home.

  Darcy cursed her dad for making her leave her old jalopy of a car back in Michigan. Maybe it wasn’t in the best condition, but she had loved her little multicolored Volkswagon Bug. Her dad better come through on finding her a new car and soon. If little Miss Cheerleader was going to have practice every afternoon, Darcy didn’t want to be walking home every day and there was no way in Hell she was taking the yellow insane asylum, otherwise known as the bus. The Bug had been bought in the first place because Darcy had issues with bullies on the bus rides to and from her old school. Perhaps she ought to remind her dad of that before he suggested her taking it again.

  Barely off the school grounds and Darcy could already feel the sweat rolling down her back, making a disgusting journey from neck to waist. She despised the heat and would live in Alaska if she could.

  Lost in her fantasy thoughts about living with the penguins in the North Pole where she’d fit in, color wise at least, Darcy didn’t notice a sleek silver car pull up alongside of her. A sudden earsplitting goose-like honking jarred Darcy out of her thoughts and made her jump in fright. Her ass and her belongings fell to the ground, hard. The door opened before that car even came to a full stop.

  “Shit, Darcy I’m am so sorry! Are you okay?” Chaz asked as he skirted around the hood of the car to give her a hand up.

  “Dammit man, how many times do you have to see me on the ground today?” Darcy mumbled more to herself than him. She ignored his hand and started gathering up the books and papers that had spilled out of her bag. Chaz crouched down and helped her pick things up.

  “I really am sorry. I didn’t realize you hadn’t noticed me,” he said again. She finally looked at him and saw he was giving her the puppy dog eyes. She was a total sucker for the pouts and puppy dog eyes. She sighed.

  “It’s okay. I probably should have been paying more attention,” she said taking the papers he held out to her.

  “Are you walking home?”

  “Yeah Bitc- uhh Mandy had cheerleading practice so I had no ride.” He looked at her like she had spouted two heads. “What?”

  “You know it’s a three or four mile walk, right?”

  “I figured as much. No big deal,” she said giving what she hoped was a nonchalant shrug.

  “You’ll get heat stroke walking that far in this heat. Let me give you a ride.”

  “I’ll be fine. I’m sure you have other things to do.” Chaz shook his head.

  “Nope, not a thing. Please, to make up for Liberty’s rude behavior at lunch.” Darcy weighed her options. Either she continued
her long sweaty walk, or she got a ride home in a hot car with a hot guy. Decisions. Decisions.

  “As long as you’re sure it’s not a pain in the ass for you…,” she relented.

  “Not at all,” Chaz said with sincerity. He walked back to his car and held open the passenger door for her. “Your chariot awaits M’lady.”

  Darcy raised an eyebrow. Chaz chuckled but continued to hold the door. She slid in, without any sort of gracefulness, and he gently closed the door behind her.

  Settling into the driver seat, he started the car. They sat in uncomfortable silence, again, as he headed down the road.

  “Did you get to clean your hood thingy?” Chaz broke the silence asking.

  “Yeah, Judd talked the Home Ec. teacher into using the machines in her room.”

  “That’s Judd, always using his mouth…” Chaz trailed off, annoyance tinting his voice.

  “I take it you two aren’t friends?” He sighed.

  “Not anymore.” Darcy waited for Chaz to elaborate, but he lapsed back into silence.

  “So uhh Liberty is your girlfriend, huh? She seems…perky.” Chaz turned to glance at Darcy, a slight frown marring his features.

  “She an ex, the one who broke it off actually. I have no idea what today’s show was all about,” he said releasing the wheel to run a hand through his hair.

  “Oh,” was all Darcy could say. They didn’t seem like they were exes, but Liberty had definitely thrown herself into his lap and he did seem surprised by her appearance. Maybe he was telling the truth.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask all day… What’s with the makeup?” Darcy’s head whipped to the side to glare at him. He looked at her out the corner of his eye. “It’s cool if you don’t want to talk about it. I was just wondering is all.”

  Darcy debated if she should give her reasons. He didn’t seem like the type to make fun, but she’d been the butt of jokes for the past couple of years so more often than not, she ended up keeping her reasons to herself.