Tears of a Clown

by MB Mulhall

  The drone of hysterical voices and crying came next, along with the obvious sounds of the girls expelling the contents of their stomachs into the formerly pristine toilets. Darcy didn’t know what kind of microphones Chaz had set up, but they were picking up every little plop, sigh, splat and sniffle.

  “My ass is on fire!”

  Pounding on a door sounded.

  “I…I can’t hold it any longer! Get out or I’m going to have to use the sink!”

  “I can’t get up or I’ll shit all over the floor.”

  “Ahhh it hurts! My stomach hurts sooo bad. Please. Please hurry and get out!”

  Crying. Moaning. More flushes. Eventually, the sounds of retching. From the smell or something else, Darcy didn’t know.

  A hush had fallen over the crowd as they stopped laughing and became horrified and disgusted by the sounds emanating from the speakers. Darcy heard a few people behind her making sounds as if they were going to throw up themselves. She had a quick flash to the scene in the movie Stand By Me; once one person started to puke, it caught on until everyone was doing it. She knew she couldn’t handle hearing or smelling that. Tugging on Judd’s sleeve, she tried to get his attention.

  “I think we should go.” He frowned slightly.

  “Not enjoying the show?”

  “I’m a little more concerned about the show that might start…coming up here soon.” Someone behind her made a horking sound and she cringed. She saw the understanding dawn in his eyes as he nodded his head. He turned to tell the others when he stopped short.

  Mr. Janson was barreling up the bleachers at breakneck speed, which for him wasn’t very fast at all. His face was flush and his eyes were bulging out of his head as he waved his hands in anger, yelling for someone to cut the power to the PA system.

  Judd drew the friends close, but kept an eye on their bumbling principal.

  “I think Darcy’s right. It’s high time we make our exit.”

  They tried to sneak out without being noticed, but it was hard when one of them was limping along on crutches. Thankfully, Mandy looked exhausted so people probably just figured she needed to go home and rest.

  “Shit. I need to go into the building,” Mandy said.

  “No big deal. What do you need?” Chaz asked looking manly even though he was holding her pink sparkly purse.

  “I forgot my history book on Friday. I was going to grab it after practice yesterday and well, you know what happened then. I have a big test next week and need to study. If I fail it’s going to bring down my GPA.”

  “I can run in for it if you want,” Chaz offered. Darcy shook her head.

  “I don’t know that it’s a great idea for anyone to be around the school alone right now. When the rah-rahs hear that their own Adventures in Toilet Town were broadcast to the whole school, they’re going to know they were set up. I’m sure the finger will be pointed to us if we’re the first people they see roaming the halls. At least if we stay in a group we’ll have each other’s backs.”

  “Good thinking,” Judd said throwing an arm around her shoulder as they all headed towards the school.

  They opted to take a side door rather than going through the tunnel. Jazz joked that going in that would make her feel like a rectal thermometer.

  “Hot and stinky is no way to go through life, my friends.” Chaz groaned and Darcy rolled her eyes at the pixie’s comments.

  They made their way to Mandy’s locker. As she opened the door, she swore.

  “Now what?” Jazz asked looking annoyed. Mandy scowled.

  “It’s not here. I totally forgot I put it in my gym locker. Shit. We can’t go in there now.”

  “Doesn’t anyone else have the book you can borrow?” Darcy looked from friend to friend. They all shook their head. Mandy sighed.

  “Hard to believe perhaps, but I take an AP class. History is kind of my thing. I’m good at remembering dates, which is why I never miss a sale at the mall.” Darcy was shocked. It was definitely hard to believe. Mandy’s frequent ditziness, Darcy never would have imagined her step-sister as one to be in an advanced placement class of any sort, unless of course they had ones for makeup applying or shopping. Darcy heaved a heavy sigh.

  “I guess we have no choice. I’ll go in and get it. Gimmie your locker number and combination.” It was Judd’s turn to scowl.

  “Like hell I’m letting you go in there alone. Those girls tried to kill you once before.” Jazz stepped up.

  “She won’t be alone, I’ll go with her.”

  “I can go in too,” Mandy said. “Besides, you guys will be waiting at the door. If we take too long, peek in.” Both Judd and Chaz grumbled but agreed.

  They reached the locker room and Jazz slowly opened the door. A waft of foul stench escaped. She let the door soundlessly close as she turned away, her face a peculiar shade of green.

  “It smells like Staten Island in there.” Everyone but her brother gave her a confused look. Judd spoke up for his sister.

  “When we were kids, we drove up to visit an aunt who had a summer house in the Hamptons on Long Island. To get there, we had to drive through part of Staten Island. They have one of the world’s largest landfills and all that garbage baking in the summer sun smelled like dumpster juice and dead bodies.” Darcy grabbed Jazz’s upper arms.

  “You have to suck it up. We’ll get in quick and get out. Pull your shirt up over your nose so it’s kind of a barrier of sorts.” Jazz nodded and followed drill sergeant Darcy’s orders. Leading the pack, Jazz quietly pushed her way into the locker room and through the wall of odor.

  Darcy’s eyes started to tear immediately as they entered the room. Mandy gagged, as quietly as possible, behind her. Darcy never expected it to be so bad. It smelled like someone had fed a dozen babies prunes and let them roam free in the locker room sans diapers. She felt her stomach rolling and hoped she’d be able to keep its contents down. Looking to her step-sister, Mandy pointed out her locker. Of course, it was across the room.

  Mandy’s crutches made a loud telltale sound as the rubber stopper bottoms hit the floor and the metal parts creaked and shifted as she swung her body forward. Darcy would have been worried except that the sounds of flushing johns and crying cheerleaders made it hard to hear anything else.

  The three girls made it to the locker, opened it and retrieved the history book undetected. Unfortunately, the trip back to the locker room door was not as successful. As Jazz was pulling the door open, they heard the god-awful cat like screeching of a smelly dehydrated angry teen.

  “YOOOOUUU!” Libby appeared in the doorway where the locker room led to the bathroom stalls. “YOU DID THIS!” A shaky, yet well-manicured finger stabbed the air, pointing in Darcy’s direction.

  Darcy stepped out and around her friends, putting herself between them and the very unhappy and limp looking Liberty. She feigned innocent well.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Darcy spoke low in the hopes that Chaz’s mics wouldn’t pick up her end of the conversation. Not well anyhow.

  “Don’t play stupid with me you balloon twisting, big shoe wearing, whore clown!” Darcy laughed. She couldn’t help it. The insults were so unoriginal.

  “What’s so funny?!” Darcy could almost see the steam of Libby’s anger melting her blonde ringlets.

  “Sorry, but whore clown? Really? Surely you can be more original than that.” Libby stalked forward. She stopped several feet away from them before clutching at her stomach and glancing back at the bank of toilets.

  “I know you did this. I know you were all involved somehow. You think the almost drowning you got in the toilet a couple weeks ago was bad? You just wait to see what happens next.” Libby’s eyes gleamed as she nodded her head towards Mandy. “You’ve already seen what can happen.”

  Darcy’s eyes narrowed as she realized what Libby was referring to. An idea quickly formed in her head. Glancing around, Darcy happened to spot one of Chaz’s little mics on top of the row of lockers near
est to them. Luck was on her side. She took a couple steps to the left, closer to the piece of equipment, so the sounds of their conversation would be picked up easier.

  “What do you mean?” Darcy asked loudly. “Are you trying to say that it’s your fault Libby that Mandy fell and broke her leg?” Jazz and Mandy’s heads both swiveled to look at Darcy, wondering why she was talking so loudly. Darcy ignored them. They’d catch on eventually.

  Liberty laughed a loud boisterous sound.

  “The team has been doing basket tosses since we were all in pee-wee squads. No one gets dropped. Not accidentally anyway.” To hear Libby say it so matter of fact made Darcy’s blood boil.

  “So you had other team members not catch her on purpose. So she’d fall and seriously hurt herself.” Darcy wanted to make sure there she got Libby to thoroughly incriminate herself.

  “Well duh. Are you really as stupid as you look? I just said that!” Jazz stepped towards them, looking menacing. Darcy held an arm out, motioning for the twin to stay back. Thankfully, Jazz complied.

  “Why would you do that Libby? I thought Mandy was your friend.” Darcy glanced over at her step-sister and saw her leaning forward, pain obvious on her face. Darcy didn’t know if it was physical pain from her leg or emotional from the vocalized betrayal of her so called bestie.

  Pure hatred marred the head cheerleader’s face as she looked at the girl on crutches.

  “We were friends, until she took Chaz from me!” Surprise crossed Mandy’s face.

  “Took him? How did I take him? We were all friends. You were dating Rich when Chaz and I started dating!” Mandy shuffled forward to get closer to Darcy and Jazz, so she’d have a clear view of Liberty.

  “I always liked him! You knew that! I only dated Rich to make Chaz jealous.” Darcy rolled her eyes. Libby caught the gesture and swung her gaze to Darcy.

  “You got something to say you painted freak?”

  “Again, way to be creative with the insults, but seriously, using someone to make another person jealous? That’s real mature. Look at all the people you hurt in the process and you still didn’t get your way. Not that I care much what happens to Dick, but even he doesn’t deserve to be used like that.”

  “What do you know Slappy? You just opened your legs and all the boys came running. They probably just closed their eyes while they got some.”

  Darcy saw red. Unconsciously she took a step forward. Jazz rushed over and held her back, whispering calming words to her.

  “You are an evil hateful bitch who doesn’t have any idea what she’s talking about,” Darcy spit out at Libby. The other girl just rolled her eyes.

  “Whatever. Like I care what you think of me. Besides, I eventually got my way. Rich was so head over heels for me he would have licked my shoes if I asked him to. Instead, I got him to help me to set up an interesting little tryst between Mandy and Judd that drove Chaz to me. It was perfect, if I do say so myself.” Libby actually cackled remembering the incident that drove the wedge through best friends and boyfriend and girlfriend.

  Darcy took several deep breaths to calm her rage. It was almost done. All she needed was to get Libby to spill the beans completely on the drugging and set up and they could leave.

  “And how did someone as stupid as yourself pull off such a thing?” Darcy asked purposely trying to anger the girl. Anger tended to block out reason. If Darcy could piss her off enough, Libby would have diarrhea of the mouth and spew out all the info they needed.

  “I’m impressed you can put on your own bra in the morning, much less plan a way to break up a happy couple and steal the guy for yourself…Then again, you probably have a lot of practice taking off and putting back on your bra.” Darcy could almost see something snap in Libby. While she wouldn’t swear it on a stack of Bibles, Darcy would tell everyone later that the girl’s eyes took on a red devil-like glow.

  Liberty seethed. Her fist clenched tightly, eyes narrowing.

  “I have people in this school wrapped around my perfectly manicured, soft as silk, little finger. Stoners, jocks, nerds, they all grovel at my feet for attention. For a piece of the popularity pie I can give them. You’d be surprised at how easy it is to get someone from the burnout scene to get their hands on some Rohyponol. Then there are people like Rich and Melody who’d do anything for me, whether it’s to get in my pants or get a quarter of my popularity.”

  “Figures you didn’t do any of it yourself. Couldn’t bear to get your hands dirty, right?” Darcy asked, egging her on further.

  “Oh please. I’m the mastermind. I don’t need to get my hands dirty. That’s what pathetic lackeys are for. I used Melody to seduce Judd, that walking ball of hormones. She got him into the bedroom and drugged him so he’d pass out on the bed. I’m sure she had fun stripping him down before she left. Rich led Mandy away from Chaz under false pretenses. He told her that he and I were having problems and he needed to talk to her best friend in the hopes of fixing things. That part was actually true. He didn’t realize I was doing all of it so I could dump him for Chaz, but whatever. He’s a stupid monkey. He got her to drink the drugged beer and carried her to the bedroom where passed out Judd was waiting.” Libby smirked at Mandy who was wide eyed with horror.

  “Who… How did I get undressed? And… what about... We found the condom…” Mandy was shaking her head in disbelief.

  “I may be a bitch, but I’m not a total pig. Mellie took off your clothes and the condom wasn’t used.”

  “But… there was uhh something in it…” Libby laughed again.

  “Shampoo. See? We totally learn something from watching all those teen movies and TV shows.”

  There was a look of relief on Mandy’s face. At least they finally knew the truth about what happened that night over a year ago.

  “I’m a pathetic lackey, am I?”

  Four heads turned and saw an outraged Melody standing at the doorway. Her hair was disheveled and there was a suspicious brown streak on her arm. Sweat ran down her brow as if she had just run a 5k. Darcy, Jazz and Mandy instinctively shied away from the confrontation they knew was going to go down momentarily.

  “I did it for you because you told me if you broke them up, you’d have more time for me instead of always having to go on double dates with Mandy and Chaz. You told me you didn’t even like boys. That their dangly bits grossed you out. That you dreamed about me when you were with them. You said we could be together! I’ve been waiting ever since! “

  Jazz’s eyes grew wide at Melody’s words. The top two popular rah-rahs were closet lipstick lesbians?!

  Libby’s head swung back and forth between Melody and her three enemies, eyes wild, mouth open, ready to deny all allegations. Melody started to cry. Darcy silently motioned for Jazz and Mandy to head towards the door.

  “We had that one magical night together. You said it was perfect and that you wished we could be together always!” Melody said through her sniffles. “As soon as you broke them up, you got with Chaz and his gross junk and wouldn’t even come back to my house for our special massage nights! Do you know how tense and stressed I’ve been?!”

  Darcy knew that was her cue to move but she was riveted in place, hanging on Mellie’s every word and accusation. She knew if they didn’t get out now, they might never have another good chance and she really didn’t want the boys busting in. It would make things ten times worse.

  She dashed towards the door, propelling Jazz and Mandy in front of her. Libby was so caught up in the drama, she barely registered them moving. They made it out into the hall where the guys were waiting, their jaws hanging open, catching flies.

  “Move! Move.Move.Move,” Darcy chanted waving her arms at them. Chaz scooped up Mandy and the five of them jetted down the halls and out the door. They stopped in the parking lot near their cars, all of them panting loudly.

  Judd suddenly swooped up Darcy and placed a loud smacking kiss on her painted lips.

  “That, my love, was the most brilliant thing ever.” Darcy
blushed.

  “Thank Chaz. Without his mini microphones, no one but us would have heard the confessions.” Judd clapped his friend on the back. Chaz blushed as brightly as Darcy.

  “Let’s get out of here before someone wants to talk to us about our part in it all,” Jazz said. They all agreed and piled into their cars, agreeing to meet at the twin’s house.

  As they pulled away Darcy watched the cliques of students standing around. They were pointing and laughing, talking animatedly. It was obvious that the whole incident would be talked about for months to come. Darcy allowed herself a victorious smile before turning her eyes from the sight to look down the clear road ahead of her. She had a feeling life at school was going to be a lot easier for her in the future.

  People did end up coming to talk to them, but it was all about the drugging issue and Mandy’s fall. No one ever questioned them about the brownies or the mic’ing of the girl’s locker room, which meant Darcy was left out of the interrogation. That was fine with her. It turned out that Libby was probably going to be spending some time in Juvie trying not to become somebody’s bitch while Rich and Melody would be spending many an hour picking up garbage and helping out at the old folk’s home to satisfy all those community service hours they racked up by being involved with Liberty’s schemes. All three were booted from the school. No tolerance policies and all.

  Friendships were being mended and relationships renewed since they found out the truth of what happened that night at the party. Darcy knew it would take time for the guys to get back to the closeness they once had, a lot had been said over the past year, but she was happy to see they were trying to fix things.

  A couple of weeks had passed since the bathroom exposé. They chalked up the tummy troubles to a bad batch of eggs; much to Mrs. Peaches’ despair. Seems some of the other food eating contestants had similar issues, although to a much lesser extent. Jazz admitted to her friends that she took a couple of plates and spread out the brownies so it wouldn’t seem like it was a malicious attack directed only at the cheerleaders. While Darcy wasn’t thrilled that innocents had been involved, she was glad for Jazz’s intervention since it helped keep them out of trouble.