Lacey Luzzi: Sauced: A humorous, cozy mystery! (Lacey Luzzi Mafia Mysteries Book 4)

by Gina LaManna

  “What is it?” Meg called out from the other side of the driveway. “Someone tell me what the heck everyone is whispering about.”

  One of Carlos’s guards emerged in an answer, his hand covered in gloves at the edge of the ring of people. He deposited something on the ground, and when I realized what it was, I looked away.

  It was a squirrel, its little body still as stone.

  “Evil,” Meg whispered, raising a finger and pointing it at the man next to the car. “He’s evil.”

  “I’m also a good shot,” the man said. “So if anyone has any ideas about moving a muscle…Well, let’s just say that I wouldn’t.”

  “Back away,” Carlos said to the cringing onlookers. “I want all persons back inside the estate.”

  “Sir,” Anthony said, stepping forward.

  “No,” Carlos said. “Everyone.”

  “I’m not leaving,” Anthony said, his gaze locking on mine.

  Carlos’s head swiveled between his head of security and me. “Fine.”

  “Mmm, interesting,” the man next to the car said under his breath, so that only I could hear him. With an amused twinkle in his eye, he noted the glance Anthony and I shared. “I heard Meg’s sob story, but I didn’t expect he loved you.”

  “Leave, Anthony,” I said, raising my voice and ignoring my captor’s taunts. The others began filing back towards the house. “Please.”

  Anthony simply shook his head, a mixture of sadness and longing in his gaze.

  “Anthony may stay,” Carlos said. “Everyone else I want gone.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” the man said. “Let’s not waste time clearing this place out. I’ll be honest with you – I don’t want anything today. Nobody needs to get hurt. It’s a celebration, after all. Happy birthday to you,” he said in a singsong voice, pointing at me. “And God bless freakin’ America!”

  A slightly crazed, slightly amused glimmer twinkled in the man’s eyes. It sent shivers to the core of my soul, while goose bumps broke out on my flesh.

  “Why are you here?” Carlos asked, his voice low and controlled.

  “To warn you. You and your beautiful family,” he said. “Leave me alone.”

  I glanced between them, wondering if Carlos knew what the man was talking about. What was Carlos involved in, now?

  “Do you understand?” the man asked, glancing at my grandfather while a smile twisted his lips.

  Carlos gave a curt nod. “I understand.”

  “Just remember how easy it has been for me to associate with your beautiful granddaughter,” he said. “I found her once, I can find her again.”

  Anthony’s hands clenched and unclenched by his sides, and the smirk on the man’s face let me know he noticed it, too.

  “Now, I’ll take the car keys to that Bentley,” the man said, pointing at Carlos’s car. “Here’s what’s going to happen. Lacey will chauffeur me out of the driveway, and then I will be on my way. Yes, yes, your car is bulletproof, explosion-proof – I know all this obviously, so don’t try to stop me. You’ll only be hurting your own car. And I plan on returning it when I’m finished.”

  “You cannot—” Anthony started.

  “Anthony,” Carlos interrupted. “Hand over the keys.”

  “You can toss them to me,” the man said. “I’m impressed with your muscles, but I have no desire to touch them. I’ll leave that to this one,” he said, tilting his head towards me.

  I closed my eyes for a moment so I wouldn’t rush at the man with my arms outstretched, trying to throttle the words coming from his mouth. By the time I opened them again, we had the keys and he was directing me towards the Bentley.

  “I’ll be back,” I said, sounding braver than my flip-flopping stomach.

  “In one piece,” Anthony said. “Otherwise…”

  “Don’t threaten me at a birthday party,” the man said. “It’s not necessary; this should be a happy day. I just stopped in to enhance the surprise party. Get in, Lacey.”

  I got in and, my fingers shaking, somehow managed to start the ignition. I wondered if this was how the Queen of England felt riding her royal carriage down streets – stared at by all, protected by the best and never quite sure if danger would hit.

  “Very good,” the man commented, as we pulled away. “I’m really sorry to spoil your party. It seems like your family cares a lot about you.”

  “Yep,” I said, my voice tense.

  “Quaint,” the man said. “And Anthony, my, my, my – I should have guessed. Is it his muscles that you like or is it the way that he looks at you? Maybe it’s his protective nature. Or does he—”

  “Shut up,” I said. “Shut up, or I’ll—”

  “What will you do?” the man said. “Lunge at me? I think not. I have a gun trained on you. Nobody’s going to save you except for me. They fear hurting you. Me? Not so much. Watch your tone of voice with me.”

  I drove straight, the guard at the gate watching us pass by in terse silence, the walkie talkie next to him silent for once. I was sure he’d been instructed by Carlos to let us pass.

  “The end of this block will be fine,” he said, flicking his fingers after another minute of driving. “Right…here.”

  I turned the corner as he instructed and pulled the car to a stop.

  “Good. Now, get out and walk back to the estate. And pass on my apologies for not being able to stick around longer,” he said, glancing up at me. “You can leave now.”

  I got out of the car and began walking back towards the estate. I refused to look back.

  “Oh, and Lacey,” he called after me. “Surprise! Happy birthday!”

  I showed him one of my favorite fingers that I only reserved for special occasions. I never looked back.

  “I’ll see you again,” he said. “And next time we meet, I hope your manners have improved.”

  His voice faded as I continued to take steps towards the estate. The smooth acceleration of the Bentley’s engine signaled the man’s departure, and a flood of relief I didn’t know I’d been holding pent up inside washed over me. All I wanted was to sit down. My feet dragged, and I felt as coordinated as if I were walking on stilts made from pillars of cement. My mind was blank; I didn’t worry, didn’t fret. There was no anger or sadness or surprise at the moment, just tiredness.

  When I rounded the corner, the guards noticed my arrival immediately. A pair of them rushed towards me, driving one of the numerous golf carts Carlos kept on hand for carrying items across the expansive estate. This time, the big ticket item was me.

  I now felt like an entirely different sort of Queen of England as the guard drove the golf cart down the long, winding driveway. The crowd had somewhat dispersed, but the hushed murmur after the surprise guest-of-dishonor made his appearance put a damper on the party atmosphere. As the cart trundled in, the whispers grew into an excited chatter, which soon turned into shouts of she’s back!

  “Let’s try this again,” Meg said, from the end of the driveway, as I approached with the guards. “Ready, everyone?”

  I gave a sheepish smile and a small wave, as if I were a float-rider in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  “Surprise!” chorused nearly a hundred voices. Cries of Happy birthday, Lacey! echoed off the wall that surrounded the estate, keeping out the bad guys – at least, most of the time.

  A small part of me wanted to hunker down and cry, if for no other reason than the onslaught of emotions wracking my brain. Some of the emotions were even happy ones, but still – it was too much for a newly thirty-year-old to handle all in one day.

  Instead, I put on a smile. It started out fake, but the falseness quickly faded as I dismounted from the golf cart and hands clapped me on the back, pulled me in for hugs, patted my hair. Kisses touched my cheeks, my head, and I was pretty sure Joey even tried to plant one on my lips. Luckily, I dodged him in time.

  Meg finally broke through the crowd and pulled me into a huge bear hug.

  “I hope that’s pean
ut brittle in your pocket,” I said.

  “You bet it is,” she said with a grin. “But I’m also happy to see you.”

  The smile on my face was no longer fake.

  “I’m sorry about everything,” Meg said with a bit of hesitation. She rested a hand on my shoulder, and didn’t quite make eye contact. “I really – I just wanted to make your birthday special. You’re my best friend.”

  “It was incredibly memorable,” I said honestly. “Just—”

  “No, you don’t understand,” Meg said, pulling me in close. She spoke just for me, a soft whisper in my ear. The rest of the partygoers returned to their business as she led me off the driveway and behind an evergreen tree on the lawn. The sweet scent of the needles stung my nostrils.

  “What?” I asked, now that we were in private. “What is it?”

  “I promised your mom I’d help take care of you,” Meg said, her voice sounding heavy and filled with emotion. “When the cancer hit…”

  I swallowed.

  “You know I spent a lot of time around your mom,” Meg said. “I loved her as much as you did. As much as a second daughter could.”

  “Sisters from another mother,” I said, my lips quirking up sadly. I pulled Meg’s wrists into my hands and held them tightly. “You don’t have responsibility over me. It’s not your job to take care of me. Just be my friend.”

  “It’s not that,” Meg said. “Remember how special your mom used to make your birthdays? I know how much that meant to you. And I’m guessing that’s why you hate birthdays now.”

  I blinked back tears, but I didn’t deny it.

  “I remember that time your mom…” Meg paused and cleared her throat. “The pool party.”

  “I know just the one you’re talking about,” I said with a light laugh. “When she got arrested for stealing the props for the party.”

  “Well, I didn’t plan on getting us arrested for old time’s sake,” Meg said, with a forced grimace. “But I did want to try to give you a special birthday party. It’s what your mom would have wanted.”

  I nodded. “Meg, you’ve…you’ve done so much for me. Believe me.” I pulled her in tightly for a hug, feeling the peanut brittle dig into my rib cage. “It means so much.”

  Meg nodded, but I could tell her throat was constricted with memories, though her words didn’t make it past her lips. When she finally managed to speak, her voice cracked. “I didn’t want to stress you out, worry you, or make you sad – this all turned out horribly,” she said, hanging her head.

  My heart nearly broke at her forlorn expression. I’d never seen my friend so upset. “Hey, listen,” I said, reaching out and tipping Meg’s chin up. “You did give me the best birthday ever.”

  “No, no, I should’ve just done as you said and forgot about the stupid party—”

  I leaned in and interrupted, “I kissed Anthony. And he touched my butt,” I gave a wink. “Things worked out fine.”

  Meg gave a feeble laugh. “Do you mean it?”

  “Meg, we actually talked. I followed your advice. There’s still a lot I don’t know about Anthony, but we’re making progress,” I said. “Don’t worry; nobody was hurt in the process. Everything’s okay.”

  The storm clouds slowly cleared from Meg’s face. “If you’re sure. But I just, I would feel terrible—”

  “You have nothing to feel terrible about,” I said. By now, after knowing where the inspiration for the party had come from, I felt nothing except lucky. I tugged on my friend’s vest. “Just…no fake assignments next time.”

  “Definitely not,” she said. “I’m done planning parties for you. You’re too much of a wild card, chickadee. Nothing goes as planned around you.”

  “I’ve heard that before,” I said. “But really, it means a lot to me. I can’t believe you got all these people to show up…”

  “I didn’t even have to threaten them, believe it or not,” Meg said with a wink. “They wanted to be here.”

  I had started walking back towards the milling group of onlookers on the driveway, but turned back to my friend. I tried to thank her again, but the words were too difficult to find.

  “You don’t have to say anything,” she said, pulling me into a one-armed hug. She turned me in a wide, slow circle and made sure I took in each and every face strolling about the property. “They’re all here for you.”

  I nodded, letting the effect of her words sink in. My mother’s birthday parties for me had been as good as she could make them – so good she’d been arrested after our themed party when I turned seven. I realized now that my dislike for birthday parties had crept up on me over time; my dislike for them hadn’t always been the norm.

  Once upon a time, I’d looked forward to July 3rd. But as the years passed, I despised the day more and more. Not because it meant I was aging, but because it was an annual reminder I had to celebrate without the woman I loved most.

  It’d been a long time since I’d had a real, live birthday party. One with oodles of friends, mountains of cupcakes and a special day all for me, and I’d forgotten what it felt like.

  As I looked around at the grounds, noting the long tables set out with cookies and cakes, chips and salsas, finger sandwiches and frothy iced drinks – complete with Nora’s decorative touch on everything – I was reminded what being part of a family meant. Why I worked as hard as I did for Carlos. Why it mattered to me whether I could deliver a silly grilling sauce that meant nothing in the scheme of things.

  It all mattered because they were my Family. And at the end of the day, Family was all I had.

  A strong hand landed on my shoulder. “May I?”

  Meg backed away and I could tell from the touch on my shoulder, and the starstruck look in my friend’s eyes, whose hand it was.

  “Lacey, I—” Anthony started, spinning me to face him.

  The chatter of the party had reached normal levels once more; the guards had sealed the entrances, more food and wine and limoncello had been brought out, and Carlos had instructed the party to continue. Even Anastasia’s sauce bottles had been retrieved from the car and placed next to a line of grills. He wouldn’t let an outsider ruin his granddaughter’s birthday party for anything.

  “Anthony,” I said, my voice shaking. “I have to tell you—”

  Anthony leaned forward, his hand on my chin. His creamy, Nutella-brown eyes met mine, and his face twisted in a conflicted grimace. He moved so that his mouth was next to my ear, and before I could react, murmured the words I’m sorry, before pressing his lips to my neck and sending shivers tingling all through my nerve endings.

  It was easy to forget the events around us. Drinks were poured and biscotti devoured as the children laughed gaily, chasing one another around the house in a vicious game of tag. But none of it mattered at the moment. Not now. Not with Anthony so close.

  “We have to talk,” I said. “I—”

  “Not now, sugar,” he said. “You’ve been through enough.”

  “But—”

  “Not now,” he said, glancing around at the party, as if what he wanted to say shouldn’t be overheard by others. “I spoke with Carlos. The party is just getting started. He wanted you to greet the guests, but I think you’ve done enough.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I don’t mind. Really.” Though the thought of saying hi to the nearly hundred people before answering millions of questions I didn’t have answers to sounded immensely draining.

  “I told him no,” Anthony said.

  “You told Carlos no?” I asked, astounded.

  Anthony’s lips were in a firm line. “First, a shower. Second – a meal. Third, a surprise.”

  “No more surprises,” I said, waving my hand and backing away. “I’ve had enough for the year. For all of my thirtieth year.”

  “It’s harmless,” Anthony said with a small smile. “I promise you’ll enjoy it. For the record, I always thought the fake assignment plan was a bad idea. I was so close to telling you, to spilling the bean
s…”

  “I know,” I said, reaching a hand up and running it across his smooth cheek. He cast a nervous look at Meg. “Meg can be convincing. I’m not upset. I’m just surprised-out for today.”

  “Well, I promise you this surprise is harmless. It’s here within the mansion. It’s the grand finale to your party,” Anthony said.

  “And I suppose it’s already paid for and orchestrated,” I said with a sigh.

  “It is,” Anthony said with a nod. “Though if you really don’t want it, I can talk to Carlos…”

  “No, it’s fine,” I said. “The effort you guys put into this is blowing my mind. The least I can do is make an appearance.”

  “Let’s see how you feel after a shower,” Anthony said, slinging his arm around my shoulder. He marched me towards the entrance to the estate. His protective stance had the soothing effect of making sure nobody stopped me en route to the front door. People stared, and I could see the questions in their eyes, but nobody said a word. Anthony made sure of it.

  “Harold,” I said with a nod as Anthony held the front door open for me.

  “Lacey, dear, Happy birthday,” Harold said, pushing Anthony away and enveloping me in a huge hug.

  I smirked, realizing that the only person brave enough to breach Anthony’s possessive gesture was an eighty-year-old man with a lilting English accent.

  “I told them this was all a bad idea,” Harold said. “Nothing goes as planned with you. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out like you expected.”

  “You knew about everything, too?” I asked.

  “We all did,” Harold said with a shrug. “They were determined to make your first birthday with the Family a success. And a surprise.” He shrugged. “It was certainly a surprise.”

  “And there’s plenty of time to make it a success,” I said, already feeling my spirits rise. My energy levels increased with each familiar face I came across, reminding me that the reason for so much expended time and effort had been to make my day special.

  “That’s my girl,” Harold said with an ear-splitting grin. “Keep your chin up. Try to enjoy it. They all really do love you.”