Round & Ravishing

by Mary E Thompson

  Chapter 21

  He stepped out from behind a tall display and I wondered how I didn’t notice him hiding there. My eyes drank him in from his dark jeans to his black Henley to the dark circles under his eyes that I knew were there because of Freddie.

  The funeral was that morning.

  “I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  I turned to leave but he was faster than me. Noah was behind the counter and blocking my exit to the back. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I just stared at his shoes.

  “Look at me, Tara,” he commanded me softly. His voice was smooth and rich and sounded like coming home. God, how I wanted to just burrow into his arms and let him make it all better.

  I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. It didn’t stop the tears from leaking out. I didn’t know what he was doing there, but I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I wanted him too much still for me to watch him walk out the door again. And I was too hurt to just roll over and accept an apology.

  “You know those flowers are for you, right?”

  “Why?” I whispered, unable to say anything louder.

  He grasped my chin and tilted it up, but my eyes were still closed, fighting him.

  “Because I was wrong. Sawyer was wrong. I listened to him when I should have given you a chance.”

  “My bad!” Sawyer called out from near the front door.

  A bubble of laughter slipped free, but I didn’t feel like I was ready to forgive Sawyer for the things he said about me.

  “Everything he knew was about the old you. The one you said you weren’t proud of. The person you hid from me. I should have given you a chance to tell me everything, but when your friend started talking about destroying your ex, I felt like Sawyer was right. I couldn’t see the woman I’d fallen in love with.”

  His words warmed me, but I couldn’t just let him come in and say a few nice things and it would all be okay. Patrick embarrassed me with the pictures, but Noah smashed my heart to bits. I finally met his eyes and let him see all the emotions buried deep inside, the emotions I’d trained for years to hide.

  “You destroyed me, Noah. Absolutely crushed me. That’s not something easy for me to just forgive and forget.”

  He nodded, looking regretful for the first time. His eyes softened, his lips turning down. He reached for me, but I stepped away from him, not ready to feel his touch. I’d sink into him if he touched me, and I couldn’t take that chance. “I know and I’m sorry. I don’t want to keep secrets from you. It felt like you were hiding things from me and when Sawyer-”

  I threw my hands up, getting mad all over again. “Sawyer! None of this would have happened if it weren’t for Sawyer. Yes, I was hiding shit from you. I didn’t want you to know that there were naked pictures of me everywhere and that I was a failed actress who had done some horrible things trying to make myself successful. Did you tell me all the horrible things that happened in your life? All the things you regret? All your dark secrets?”

  His cheeks reddened and he shook his head, giving me an answer before he spoke. “I didn’t. You’re right. I wasn’t proud of parts of my past so I kept them from you.”

  “Except I don’t have a sister who can dig up your dirt.”

  “Ouch!” Sawyer said, still hovering at the front of the store.

  “Sawyer, out!” Noah yelled, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “Fine! But remember who helped you win her back,” he called out as the door chimed.

  Noah shot me an apologetic look. “I love my brother. He’s a huge pain in my ass, but I love him. I’d do anything for him and he’s always looked out for me. He thought you were with me for some devious reason. When I first mentioned we were seeing each other and that you used to be an actress, he started digging into you. He knows how I am. But he never should have judged you based on what was online. He, of all people, should know the not everything on the internet is the truth.”

  “I appreciate you telling me all this, Noah, but I’m not sure what it changes. You refused to let me even explain Tuesday night. You wouldn’t even listen to me.”

  “I had a shit day,” he explained with a shake of his head. “It’s no excuse, but sitting with Freddie… it ripped me to shreds, Tara. I wanted to meet your friends, but I really wanted to just go home and have a few drinks and try to forget the look on his face when he took his last breath.”

  “You could have just told me you couldn’t come.”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t want to let you down.”

  “But you were perfectly fine breaking up with me in front of all my friends?” I snapped.

  He dropped his head and took a deep breath. I had to be strong. I loved him, but that didn’t matter if he didn’t trust me, or least hear me out when we didn’t agree. Relationships had to work both ways. I’d learned that along the way. If I was going to just accept whatever scrap he was willing to throw my way, I’d end up resenting him and he’d end up cheating on me or leaving me. It wouldn’t end well for either of us.

  “I shouldn’t have done that,” he sighed. “If I could go back to Tuesday and erase the whole afternoon, I would.”

  “I just don’t know if I can get over it all, Noah. You want to erase it, I get that, but I don’t know how I can just move on and forget about it all so easily.”

  “Tell me what you need to hear, Tara. I love you. I can’t give up on us. I know I was an ass and that I was horrible to you in front of your friends. Hell, to your friends. The only explanation I can offer was that everything had me on edge. I had a bad day. A really fucking bad day. And all I’ve been able to think about for the last few days is that I want you there with me. In my bed. In my house. In my arms. Because the only thing that chases away the shitstorm is you. I handled losing Freddie as long as I did because I had you. I had you to talk to. I had you to love. I was a fucking idiot for leaving you, for thinking you were someone I knew you weren’t. I kicked Sawyer’s ass when we watched the show yesterday-”

  “You watched the show?” I blurted, surprised he even cared to see what I had to say. Especially since the show was a big part of why he broke up with me.

  He nodded and stepped toward me, sensing a softening. “I had to see you. Sawyer was convinced you and that Patrick douche were going to announce you were getting back together. I just wanted to see you, even if you were going back to him. I had to see you. I had to know you were okay.”

  “I’m not in love with Patrick,” I cried, throwing my hands in the air. “I haven’t been in a long time.”

  “I know,” he assured me, stepping forward again. “I was an idiot. Big time. I can’t explain my actions. It doesn’t really matter though because I know that no matter what, I’ll always love you. If you can’t forgive me for the way I acted, know that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. If you can forgive me, I’ll spend every day making it up to you.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” I whispered, knowing I was on the edge of accepting everything he said. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  He shook his head and moved closer. He reached for me and I let him pull me into his arms. “I’m going to keep that promise. I’m going to prove to you every day that I’m sorry and that I trust you. I love my brother, but the evil in the world has gotten to him. He’s seen too many bad things to believe in the good in people anymore. I should have realized that before, but I wanted to believe he was the same person he used to be. Sometimes I think my job is tough because of what I go through, then he comes home and I realize that every job has its challenges.”

  “I’m sorry Sawyer has a tough time. I would think all he’d have to do is look at you to see the goodness in the world.”

  Noah shook his head and tightened his grip on me. “You’re the goodness in my world, Tara. I never should have stopped seeing that. And I’m sorry that I did.”

  I smiled. “Don’t do it again. I’m not big on second chances, but third chances aren’t heard of in
my world.”

  “Understood. What about your friends? Do you think they’ll give me another chance?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. They were pretty shocked Tuesday night, and mad on my behalf.”

  “I’ve got a lot of groveling to do.”

  I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You can start this weekend.”

  “Oh, I can’t. Sawyer and I-”

  I huffed an annoyed breath and pulled back from him.

  He laughed and tightened his grip. “I’m teasing. Sawyer is being banished to his room. You’re spending the weekend with me. Naked.”

  “Haven’t you seen enough of me naked? I’m sure Sawyer showed you the pictures.”

  Noah nodded, his face sobering. “He did, but there’s one thing wrong with those photos.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded again. “The look on your face is not the one you give me. You look like you were teasing, but I didn’t see the love that’s always in your eyes when you look at me. I knew you didn’t love him. That’s why I watched the show yesterday. Because I knew you weren’t getting together with him. But I had to see you. It killed me to watch you talk and laugh, and when you mentioned the Kenny Carpenter Acting School for Kids… I knew I wouldn’t be able to live without you, Tara.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay with the name? I asked your aunt and uncle, but I never asked you if it was something that would bother you.”

  “I love it. And I love you. I’m never letting you go again.”

  “Ever?” I asked with a cheeky grin.

  He shook his head. “Ever. Now, any chance we can lock that door and I can show you just how much I missed you?”

  “I think we might be able to do that. Isn’t Sawyer still outside?”

  Noah shrugged. “He owes me. He can wait.”

  I laughed.

  “Hey Tara?” he called softly. I stopped and looked at him. “I really do love you. You know that, right?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  “Good. And keep practicing those two little words.”

  “I do?”

  Noah smirked and nodded. “Yeah, those two.”

  Epilogue

  Olivia

  “Come on, guys! We’re gonna be late!” I shouted into the abyss that was my home. One day, my kids would be at the door, ready, when it was time to go.

  It was not that day.

  Becca came bouncing out first, but that was Becca. She was always happy to go to girls’ night. She thinks she’s one of the girls, especially since her BFF, Tara, is there.

  I can’t help but find it ironic that my childhood best friend is the same person as my daughter’s best friend.

  Kevin on the other hand, he wasn’t so happy to have to go out with us. He was definitely enjoying having men around to hang out with, but I could tell he was a little unsure being around them. He was so young when his dad left and he’s never had a male influence in his life. There were definitely a lot of great examples of how a man should act at girls’ night though. My friends had found amazing men to settle down with.

  I only wish I’d chosen half as well as any of them.

  “Kevin! Let’s go!” I called again as Becca stuffed her feet into her boots and zipped her fluorescent pink coat.

  I finally heard the heavy footfalls of my son and sighed. I resisted the urge to ask him what he was doing there, but I was starting to learn there were some things I didn’t want to know anymore.

  I shuddered to think about all that was coming with a teenaged boy.

  When we were finally in the car and on the way to Bite Me! to meet everyone for girls’ night, I finally breathed a little easier. It was the one night of the week that I wasn’t the only one worrying about my kids. For an hour, I had back up. People who were going to distract my kids and keep an eye on them so I could eat my cupcakes and drink a cup of coffee without having to worry about every little thing.

  “Make sure you give Ms. Tara a big hug when you see her,” I told Becca when we walked across the parking lot. Tara had her heart ripped out last week at girls’ night, but she loved Becca. I knew if anyone could help her feel better, it was my sweet little girl.

  We went inside and got our desserts. I’d agreed the kids could share a cupcake and Becca was beyond excited to actually get one. Of course, I knew she usually shared Tara’s, but I let her believe I didn’t know about their little secrets.

  When Tara walked in, her eyes were bright and she was smiling. I looked deeper for a sign that she was miserable, but I knew Tara. She was happy.

  What. The. Fork?

  “Tara!” Becca yelled, just noticing her buddy had walked in. Tara absorbed the blow of Becca running into her legs and smiled down at my little girl. She crouched down and hugged Becca, speaking softly to her so I couldn’t hear them. When she stood, she held Becca’s hand.

  “Hey everyone! I need to tell you all something.”

  The entire place stopped. After witnessing Noah rip her heart out a week ago, I don’t think any of us expected her to be smiling.

  “So after the tv show last week, um, Noah came to see me. I know you guys are all pissed off at him for me, but we’re back together.”

  A few people whispered disbelief and some clapped. I didn’t know what to think. It stung if I was honest. It took her ten years to forgive me and only three days to forgive him. It wasn’t really fair to compare the situations, but it hurt.

  “He’s here tonight. He wants another chance to get to know everyone. But he won’t stay if you guys don’t want him here.”

  Xander stood and walked toward Tara. She watched him, uncertainty filling her eyes. When he stopped in front of her, she pursed her lips together and waited for him to speak.

  “I think we can all agree that none of us in here are completely innocent. We’ve all made mistakes. Lots of them. Noah is no different. What I will tell you, and I’ll tell him, is that I will not forgive and forget as quickly as you did. But he doesn’t have to prove his loyalty to me. I will however, be watching him closely. Just as I’ve done for every other man who was lucky enough to have one of these amazing women fall for him.”

  The other guys all nodded along with Xander and I knew Noah was in for a world of shit. He wasn’t going to just be accepted after what happened. But he would be welcomed.

  I couldn’t help but wonder how different my life would have been if I had a group of friends like the one surrounding me when I was younger. Instead, I made stupid choices, fell for a man who didn’t love me, and stayed with him even though I knew better.

  But he gave me my kids.

  And didn’t fight me on custody when he left.

  Tara went to the door and waved and a few moments later, Noah stepped into Bite Me! The room was quiet enough that it nearly echoed when Becca whispered, “He made you cry last week. Why is he here?”

  Mortified didn’t even come close. Tara glanced at me, a laugh tilting her lips up as she tried not to laugh at Becca.

  Noah surprised me by kneeling on the ground in front of Becca. He gave her a grin and said, “Tara told me all about you. She said you’re a great friend and that she’s lucky to have you. But you’re right. I was very mean to Tara last week. Have you ever had a fight with your brother?”

  Becca nodded. “My brother isn’t always nice to me. He thinks he’s in charge of me.”

  “Does he ever make you cry?”

  Becca nodded again.

  “When he says he’s sorry, do you forgive him?”

  Becca screwed up her face and rolled her eyes. “My mommy tells me I have to.”

  Noah choked on a laugh. He coughed and cleared his throat then focused on her again. “And after your mommy makes you forgive your brother, do you feel better?”

  Becca thought about it for a second and then shrugged. “Yeah. I like playing with him when he’s being nice to me.”

  “That’s kind of what happened with Tara and me. I told her I was sorry for making her cry and she for
gave me. Now we’re friends again and I’ve promised I’m not going to be mean to her again.”

  Becca examined him closely. My little sweetheart was standing between Noah and Tara. She was the one questioning a grown man about his intentions.

  And getting answers.

  “If you make her cry again,” Becca said, getting up close in Noah’s face, “I’m going to kick you in the shins.”

  “Becca!” I exclaimed. “You don’t talk to adults like that.”

  Noah looked up at me. “She’s right, Olivia.” He focused back on Becca. “I accept your deal, Becca. If I make her cry, she will tell you and you can kick me in the shins.”

  Becca finally broke into a grin and nodded. “Okay. I trust you. My brother never agrees to that so I guess I’ll believe you.”

  Everyone laughed and welcomed Noah into the group. We sat and talked and laughed. I watched my kids and wondered what they would do if I ever started dating again. It was clear Becca would kick some butt, but as I watched Kevin with Noah, I couldn’t help but wonder if my little man would be just as much of a ball buster.

  Good thing I had no prospects.

  I rolled my eyes at myself. Like anyone would want to date a single mom to a surly almost teenager and a spunky six year old. Oh, well. At least my friends were happy.

  Thank you so much for reading Round & Ravishing. I wanted to write a story that was about someone different. Something different. Tara was definitely different, but so was Noah. During my own cancer treatments, I marveled at the strength of the nurses I encountered. How they could look into the faces of people that might not survive, but still give them a smile and an encouraging word baffled me at times. This book is for the chemo nurses. The infusion staff who dedicate their lives to helping heal people. We’re lucky to have you there, fighting for us.

  The series continues with Olivia’s story. She’s a single mom who wants to believe she has it all together, until she meets the one man who makes her want to forget about all those responsibilities. Pick up your copy of Curvaceous & Captivating now!