Round & Ravishing

by Mary E Thompson

  Tears streamed down my face as I reached for him. “Noah, you have to believe me. I told Olivia-”

  “Why do you think I care who you told what to? You’re not the person I thought you were, Tara. Not even from the beginning. You never told me anything about yourself, and now I know why. You didn’t want me to know that all the ugliness I hide from, all the horrible things in the world that I refuse to be a part of, all that is you. You are the embodiment of ugliness.” He shook his head and looked at me with disgust. “Goodbye Tara.”

  Then he turned and walked out.

  I couldn’t move. I wanted to run after him. To chase him down and convince him I was the person he thought, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t tell him that Sawyer was wrong about me because he wasn’t. He probably told Noah the truth about me. Every last bit of truth.

  And I ruined their relationship because I wasn’t willing to confess to it all on my own.

  I collapsed onto the floor when I saw his SUV fly past the front window. Abby and Olivia were next to me in seconds. Becca crawled into my lap. I felt catatonic. Like I was watching the whole scene play out, but not actually a part of it. I knew the pain would come, but it would probably destroy me when it did.

  “Are you okay?” someone asked after a few minutes.

  I shook my head. “No. Not even a little bit.”

  “I’m really sorry, Tara. I had no idea he didn’t know what was going on.” Carrie.

  I looked up at her and forced myself to smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. I kept the truth about myself from him. I didn’t tell him who I was, the way I was before. He’s the best man I’ve ever known and he deserves someone better than me. Someone who isn’t going to embarrass him when his coworkers and family find out who she is.”

  “You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Olivia said firmly. “You weren’t going to go out there and embarrass Patrick.”

  “You weren’t?” Carrie asked.

  I shook my head. “He’s not worth it. I decided yesterday that I was going to do the segment just like we billed it. I’d be a voice for the unsuccessful side, and let Patrick feel superior with his success.”

  “I really blew it for you, didn’t I?” Carrie asked softly.

  I shook my head again. “I promise you, Carrie, this had nothing to do with you. It’s all on me. And now I have to live knowing I lost the best thing that ever happened to me because of my own petty anger at my ex. An ex I don’t even care about anymore.”

  “Maybe it’ll all work out,” Abby said.

  I rested my head on her shoulder and shook it. “I don’t think so.”

  Chapter 20

  Thursday morning I sat in the make-up chair and waited for the artist to make me look camera ready. It had been a long time since I had to rely on anyone else to do my make-up, but I was definitely out of practice clumping on enough to have the camera pick it up.

  When she backed away, my eyes looked big and bright instead of like the punching bags they’d felt like the last two days. After I got home Tuesday night, everything hit me. I cried almost the whole night and had been crying off and on since.

  I tried to text Noah a couple times, but he never replied. I wasn’t surprised, but it still hurt that he could cast me aside that quickly. I really thought we had something, but it was more in my head than anything else.

  And my heart. That was definitely bruised.

  But I couldn’t think about Noah once my make-up was finished. If I did, they’d have to redo it all before I went on stage, and we didn’t have that kind of time.

  Within minutes, they were calling me to the stage. The host, a woman in her late-thirties named Miranda, wanted to talk to Patrick for a few minutes and then bring me on the stage. I hadn’t seen him yet. Coming face-to-face with him for the first time on live tv was not something I looked forward to, but I wasn’t given much of a choice.

  “Please welcome Tara Fisher!”

  The crowd rang out in polite applause as I stepped into view of the cameras. One followed me as I crossed the small stage to shake hands with Miranda. She thanked me for being on the show then gestured to the empty seat next to Patrick. He stood and kissed my cheek, but he didn’t say anything to me before taking his seat again.

  “So,” Miranda began, “the two of you were together for a while, weren’t you?”

  I nodded but Patrick spoke, “It was a long time ago, but yes.”

  “I believe this was before you hit your first break, isn’t that right?”

  She addressed the question to Patrick so I didn’t answer for him. Finally, he spoke. “Yes. It was before my break.”

  “What happened that tore your relationship apart?”

  The devil inside me wanted to tell Miranda that Patrick’s cheating and his new opportunity tore us apart, but I was there to be the bigger person, not to drag his name through the mud.

  “People drift apart sometimes,” Patrick said diplomatically. “It was a mutual decision.”

  “Is that true?” she asked me.

  I nodded. “It is. I have no ill will toward Patrick.”

  “Even after those pictures of you came out?”

  I forced a practiced smile and nodded again. “Patrick said it wasn’t his fault and I believe him. Like he said, we were together a long time ago. When it ended, the decision was mutual. There’s no reason, after all this time, for Patrick to dig up anything about me. I’ve been out of Hollywood for almost a year. I’m no one important anymore. Heck, if we’re being honest, I’m the unsuccessful part of this segment. I wasn’t anyone important even when I was in Hollywood.”

  The audience chuckled at my dig, and Miranda took the hint to move on from our personal lives to the whole point of the interview.

  “How would you describe your experience in Hollywood, Tara?”

  “I met a lot of interesting people when I was there. Unfortunately, I found it to be a very unforgiving place. I was never thin enough and I had a real hard time meeting anyone who was honest and helpful. When I met Patrick, he was different. He was kind and he was struggling to break in, like me, but we felt like the only two people trying to go about it honestly.”

  “Is that how you felt also, Patrick?” Miranda asked.

  He seemed a little shocked I’d given him something that could resemble a compliment. He nodded then went on to say, “Tara and I were alone a lot. We shared a lot about the way we thought life would be when we moved to Hollywood. It wasn’t easy to be looked at when you were young and new.”

  “Exactly. It’s that familiar catch-22. You needed experience to get a part and you needed a part to get experience.”

  The audience laughed again, most chuckling in what sounded like understanding. Miranda grinned at me then asked, “How did you handle it?”

  I shook my head and laughed mirthlessly. “Not very well, I’m afraid. Before I’d met Patrick, I had some people I thought were my friends. They taught me how things supposedly worked in Hollywood. The backstabbing and manipulating. It was ugly and I quickly became just like them. I told lies to casting directors and refused to tell my supposed friends where I was auditioning so they didn’t show up there, too. When I met Patrick though, he made me see that it was possible to work together to succeed.”

  “You two met working on a film, right?”

  I nodded. “We did. He was the director. I loved working with him. It felt natural for our relationship to progress the way it did. It didn’t help me get any new work, but it finally felt like I wasn’t alone. If it weren’t for Patrick, I’m sure I would have left Hollywood a lot sooner than I did.”

  “You left for personal reasons though, didn’t you?”

  “I did. My dad was having some health issues and I moved back to help my mom. I’m happy to say my dad is feeling better now so I’m able to move forward with my life.”

  “Are you going back to Hollywood?” Miranda asked, her voice rising in anticipation.

  I shook my head and smiled.
“No. I know my limited career is all I’ll get. I’m actually opening an acting studio right here in Winterville. It’ll be a place for kids to create a movie. Every year, we’ll direct and film a movie. The proceeds from the sale will go to benefit children right here in our community who are sick. Kids fighting cancer and heart issues and anything that keeps them in the hospital and out of school. These families are the ones who need the help. My vision is to be able to give these kids a chance to survive, but also to give kids who have an interest in film a chance to learn more about it.”

  “It sounds like a great program. When can we expect to learn more.”

  “The website is up on the screen now. If anyone is interested in learning more about what we’ll be doing, they can go there and sign up. Once I close on the location I’ve purchased, I’ll be sending sign up information to the local schools and gathering students. I hope to have our first production ready to start at the beginning of next school year.”

  “I love this idea,” Miranda gushed. “Is it safe to say you took your Hollywood ‘failure’ and turned it into your own success.”

  I smiled. “All I know is that I’ve never been happier than since I moved back to Winterville. It’s home, and even though I don’t have everything I’ve ever wanted, I know I’m very lucky to have family and friends here who love and support me.”

  “What about a man? Anyone who’s snagged your attention.”

  I forced a grin and said, “My attention has definitely been snagged, but he’s a good man. I’m afraid the time I spent in Hollywood tarnished me a little more than I ever wanted to admit to him. It seems I’m no better with relationships than I was with acting.”

  “Well, maybe your new career will bring new happiness to you.”

  “Thank you. I hope so, too.”

  “I’d like to thank both Tara Fisher and Patrick Williams for taking the time out to speak to us today. Make sure you go to that website and get more information on Tara’s exciting new venture. And check out Woman In Gold, the new film Patrick is directing. Thanks for being here, everyone. Goodbye for now.”

  We stood with Miranda and smiled and waved. As the closing music played, she hugged us both. “You were wonderful. I have no idea why your career never took off, but thank you for being here today. I wish you the best.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that,” I told her, then turned to leave the stage.

  “Tara!” Patrick called after me, hurrying to catch up to me. “I thought you set this up so you could rip me a new one.”

  I shrugged. “That was the plan, Patrick.”

  “What happened?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not the woman I once was.”

  “I’m sorry those photos got out, Tara. Cassie is the one who leaked them. She was jealous because she found out I chose to film in Winterville and thought it was because of you.”

  “Thank you for telling me, Patrick, but it doesn’t change anything in my life. I wish the best for you. With your filming and everything else.”

  “Hey, Tara? Do you have any interest in being in the movie? We have a few minor parts that we wanted to cast with locals.”

  I smiled and shook my head. “No. Thanks though. Good luck Patrick.”

  I turned and walked away, ending that part of my life.

  Olivia invited me over for dinner that night, to celebrate my release from Hollywood, but I wasn’t in the mood for any kind of celebration. I was happy with how things went on the talk show. I was able to walk away from Patrick with some form of closure. I knew if I’d gone through with my plan to ruin him that I’d feel horrible. Instead, I knew I made the right decision, even if I made it too late to save what I had with Noah.

  Friday morning I went into Coming Up Daisies for my mom. Since I was still waiting for a lot of things to fall into place with my studio, I figured there was no reason to sit home and mope. Working would keep my mind off Noah.

  The morning was quiet. A few customers, a few calls, and thankfully no reporters.

  I took my lunch break and was forcing myself to eat a sandwich when the door chimed. I wiped my face and went out to help whoever was there.

  “Get out,” I growled as soon as I saw Sawyer standing there.

  He held up his hands and had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry. I came to tell you that I was wrong about you and that I’m sorry I got in the middle of you and Noah.”

  I shook my head and blinked quickly to fend off the tears building. I didn’t want to hear anything Sawyer had to say. If he hadn’t shown up and put all that shit in Noah’s head, I would have been able to explain away Carrie’s words, and tell him that I’d changed my mind about what I was going to do. But with Sawyer filling his head with shit, I didn’t have a chance.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore so please just go.”

  “Are you really going to name your acting studio for my cousin?”

  I clamped down on my lip but it didn’t help. Tears still overflowed and raced down my cheeks when I nodded. “It’s someone who means a lot to Noah. I was going to surprise him, but I talked to your aunt and uncle and they gave me permission. Of course, they’ll probably change their minds now that Noah and I aren’t together.”

  Sawyer shook his head. “I doubt that. They’re pretty amazing people and would have agreed to let anyone use Kenny’s name to help spread the word about childhood cancer.”

  His words were kind, but they only made me feel worse. I’d thought I was doing something nice for Noah, for his family, but it seemed I was way off base. It won’t have any impact on them if they’d allow anyone to put Kenny’s name on something.

  “Okay, well, thanks for stopping by. You can go now.”

  “Actually, I need to order some flowers,” he said hurriedly.

  I rolled my eyes. “Of course you do.”

  I went behind the desk and pulled out the order pad. “What do you want?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not sure actually. Something romantic but not too cheesy. What do you suggest?”

  “Three dozen roses?” I offered with a nasty grin. It was the most expensive thing I could think of and since Sawyer made his income taking advantage of people, I could think of no one more deserving of being gouged.

  “Are those your favorite flowers?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Of course not. Roses are too overdone. I prefer something different. Something not everyone gets.”

  “That sounds good. What flowers would you suggest?”

  I shrugged and slipped into sales mode. He was a customer. It didn’t matter if I despised him. I had no choice but to help him.

  “Forget-me-nots are simple and beautiful. I really like dahlias because they’re pretty but not something you see in a lot of bouquets. It’s also a fall flower so there’s still a lot of them right now. My favorite winter flower is gardenia. Their smell is light but it sort of wraps around you and draws you in. I really like daisies, too. I guess it really depends on what you want the bouquet to say.”

  “Bouquets can say something?”

  I arched an eyebrow at him. “Definitely. They can say I’m sorry. They can say I love you. They can say I screwed up. Or they can say we’re just friends. What are you looking for it to say?”

  “I think I screwed up and I love you is what I’m going for here.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’d go with a few dahlias, some forget-me-nots, a couple roses, and some greenery to tone down some of the vibrant color. Do you want me to show you?”

  Sawyer nodded then followed me to the fridge. I pulled out flowers, arranging them in my hand until I had it just right. When I showed it to him, he grinned.

  “It’s beautiful. I think it’ll be perfect. What do you think?”

  I struggled to breathe around the lump in my throat. If Noah handed me a bouquet like that, I’d have wrapped my arms around him and never let go. But it wasn’t Noah buying flowers, it was Sawyer. Sawyer who said he would never do a relationship.

  I nodde
d finally and swallowed roughly. “It’s beautiful. She’s a lucky woman.”

  “Yeah, she is,” he said, staring straight at me.

  What the fuck? Was Sawyer hitting on me? No, he couldn’t be. There was no way in hell he destroyed my relationship with Noah so he could have a shot at me. Was there?

  “Can you write up a card for me?” he asked, apparently oblivious to my minor panic attack.

  I nodded and carried the bouquet back to the counter. I pointed to the cards we had so he could choose one then wrapped a rubber band around the stems and checked that the stems were all wet enough to make it to wherever he was taking the flowers. I pulled tissue paper around the entire thing and set it on the counter while Sawyer picked out a card.

  “I think this one is perfect,” he said, handing me a card that had I love you in different languages around the edges.

  “Do you want to write it?”

  He shook his head. “I’m sure your handwriting is much neater than mine. I could tell you what to write though. If that’s okay?”

  He flashed me a grin that likely had women falling at his feet. I wasn’t affected though. I was in love with his brother. Not Sawyer. No matter how flirtatious he was.

  “Write ‘I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I love you.’”

  I scribbled what he said through tears, hoping I didn’t get any on the card. When I finished, I didn’t look up when I asked, “Do you want me to write your name? Or maybe you want to sign it?”

  “Sure. Sign it-”

  “Love, Noah,” another voice said from the other side of the store.

  “Noah,” I breathed.