Complete Works of L. Frank Baum
Page 883
Scarecrow
What do you do that for?
Dorothy
Because I’m hungry. Don’t you ever eat?
Scarecrow
No. I’m stuffed full now. Pretty soon
you’ll be stuffed full and you won’t be
able to eat either.
Dorothy
I eat three or four times a day.
Scarecrow
Is it necessary?
Dorothy
Of course.
Scarecrow
How I pity you. You people of flesh must
waste a lot of time trying to keep alive.
Dorothy
Haven’t you any taste?
Scarecrow
I admire you.
Dorothy
You’re a strange creature. That farmer
might have taken more pains in your
manufacture in more ways than one.
Scarecrow
Yes. Think of his starting me in life with
so few advantages.
(A groan heard back of drop.)
Dorothy
What’s that?
Scarecrow
It sounds like a carette horse passing a
stable at dinner time.
Dorothy
It comes from behind these bushes. Dare
you look and see what it is?
Scarecrow
I fear nothing, but a lighted match, or a
cigarette smoker. If ever I bump up
against either of those two -- peace to my
ashes.
(Pushes bushes aside.)
I’ve got it.
(Brings Tin-man out.)
(Tin-man stands, rigid, with fife in
position for playing.)
Dorothy
Is that a man, or a hardware store?
Scarecrow
He’s been married tin years and this is his
tin wedding.
Dorothy
Did you play, sir?
Tin-man
Did I play? I’ve been practicing that
lovely tune for over a year.
Dorothy
Why do you stand so still?
Tin-man
I’m rusted.
Dorothy
Where?
Tin-man
In my joints.
Dorothy
Must you stay there forever?
Tin-man
Not if you will help me. Get the oil can
from behind that stump and oil me up a
bit and then I’ll be oil right.
Scarecrow
I’ll rush the can.
(Gets oil can from behind out drop and
begins to oil Tin-man’s joints. Bus. ad
lib.)
Tin-man
What a blessed relief. Accept my thanks.
Nick Chopper is at last himself again.
Dorothy
I’m so glad we heard you. What a
dangerous position you were in.
Tin-man
Wasn’t I? If a hold-up man had come
along with a can opener he might have
gone through me with ease.
(To Scarecrow)
Here, oil my neck a little more. It doesn’t
turn smoothly.
Scarecrow
(Oiling Nick’s neck.)
Some of these tough joints ought to be
pulled.
Tin-man
(To Dorothy)
Your friend seems to be one of the light
fingered gentry. I hope he’s not as bad as
he’s painted.
Dorothy
What a horrid thing for you to say, after
his helping you out of your trouble.
Tin-man
I beg your pardon, Miss; it’s a long time
since I’ve been in polite society and I’m
still a bit rusty.
(To Scarecrow)
Much obliged for the grease. Ah, I was
not always made of tin. Once I was made
of flesh and blood, as you two are.
Scarecrow
(Taking handful of straw from breast.)
Cut me out, please.
Dorothy
How did it happen.
Tin-man
A pretty Munchkin girl loved me
devotedly. Often she came and held the
trees while I chopped them down, and
then gently lowered them to the ground.
But the wicked witch had forbidden any
love-making in her domains, and one day
Cynthia and I were caught holding hands.
She enchanted my axe so that it slipped
and cut off my leg. I went to the tinsmith
and had a new one made. Then, one by
one, I lost my arms, head, and body, but
the tinsmith replaced each missing
member. I kept on chopping wood,
though, and said nothing. I was happy,
notwithstanding, until I discovered that I
no longer loved Cynthia.
Dorothy
No longer loved her? Why?
Tin-man
The tinsmith had forgotten to give me a
heart.
Scarecrow
That probably came extra.
Dorothy
Come along with us to Oz, perhaps you
can get a heart.
Tin-man
Who is Oz - a butcher?
Dorothy
No, no! It’s city, where a wonderful
wizard rules.
Tin-man
(Sings, dancing to time.)
“Oh, Cynthia, Cynthia, I’ve been thinking
-
What an awful thing it was -
To be without a heart, but now
I’ll get it from the Wizard of Oz.”
(Break and bus. Scarecrow.)
-- “
WHEN YOU LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE.” --
Trio -- Tin-man, Dorothy, and Scarecrow,
and exit.)
Oh! Love’s the thing, that poets sing
Their sweetest lays regarding.
And none say nay, to love’s gay sway
Which wounds when not rewarding.
Naught can allure the heart so sure
As one swift dart from Cupid
And none, I know would dodge his blow,
Unless exceeding stupid.
For love’s the thing, that poet’s sing
Their sweetest lays regarding,
And all are gay, neath Cupid’s sway
All worldly cares discarding.
Chorus
When you love, love, love in mad
delirium,
When you love, love, love is quite sincere
you come.
there is nothing so divine there is nothing
half so fine,
As the gladness of your madness when
you love, love, love.
II.
I’ve heard it said that Love is fed
On gifts of costly treasure,
But it’s so nice, I’m sure the price,
No lover cares to measure.
All other things are quite forgot
When once your heart is captured
You guess if you’re alive or not
So madly you’re enraptured.
But though of love you gaily sing
‘Twill turn your heart quite stony,
To end the whirl and find the girl
Is seeking “Alimony.”
- CHANGE TO -SCENE IV-
SCENE:- The Poppy Field. The scene
shows an extensive field of poppies, 30 or
40 young ladies dressed in costumes
representing the poppy flower. They are
so arranged that they practically fill the
entire stage. Stage in total darkness at the
beginning of this scene. Light effect
is
thrown upon the gauze drop. Gradually
the lights are raised on the stage
beginning red and gradually working up
to a pale white light. All the girls stand
with their heads bent forward so as to
hide faces, their poppy heads alone
showing. As they sing they sway their
bodies and pantomine with their heads.
(Chorus of Poppy flowers.)
POPPY CHORUS.
Should a wandering mortal lucklessly
appear in our field
Needlessly our sweet perfume inhaling
Each sense with joy regaling
Who can blame us if all our soporific
powers are revealed.
While unto our sway he gives way
And must helplessly yield.
For Death, like a breath comes to all soon
or late
And mortals are the sport of a
mischevious fate.
So welcome the peace that we bring to
mankind.
It is happiness to dream on, with care left
behind.
We are poppies in fairest splendour,
blooming fragrant alway.
Through the mosses and the grasses
looming
Fascinations rare assuming
We delight when alone, to pass the
moments are play
Every petal graciously nods
Our many charms to display.
(After Chorus, DASHEMOFF enters,
hurriedly R.I.)
Dash.
Oh, Dorothy! Dorothy!
Dorothy
Here I am. I’m so glad to meet you again.
I’ve lost my way.
Dash.
These poppy fields are pathless.
Dorothy
The Tin-man punctured himself with a
rusty nail, and I had to send for a plumber
to solder up his wound.
Dash.
The Tin-man?
Dorothy
A new friend of mine.
Dash.
I found a rhyme for “Sarsaparilla”, but
now I can’t find the king.
(Enter PASTORIA, TRYXIE, COW and
LION at back. Pastoria is dressed as a
lion tamer, Tryxie as a bareback rider.
Pastoria leads the Lion, Tryxie leads the
Cow.)
Pastoria
(Coming down.)
S-sh! the Wizard’s police are after us and
we are disguised as a one ring circus.
Dash.
(To Dorothy)
This is Pastoria II, the rightful king of
Oz.
Tryxie
I am Signiorina Bouncerino, premiere
equestrienne.
Pastoria
And I am Signor Gonzabo, premier lion
tamer.
(Striking pose with Lion.)
Sit up, Bruno, Kiss your paw.
(Bus. lion.)
No, no! Kiss your paw to the ladies.
(Bus. lion.)
But come, we must not tarry here. On to
the Emerald City.
(Xes R. Poppies shake their heads. All
characters yawn.)
Dorothy
(To Dash.)
Are you sleepy?
Dash.
Very. It’s the perfume of these flowers.
Dorothy
(Yawning)
Yes; they make opium of them, I’ve read.
(Poppies shake their heads.)
Pastoria
I feel like forty winks and a couple of
naps.
(Cow lies down.)
Tryxie
(Yawning)
Not a bad idea. I think I’ll use you as a
sofa pillow. You’re not much as a
mattress, but you’d make an awful hit
with me, served rare, with mashed
potatoes.
(Lies down L. with head on Cow’s side.)
Pastoria
(Sleepily.)
Bruno, kindly give me an imitation of a
folding bed.
(Lion lies down.)
Will somebody bring me my shaving
water and a poached egg some time next
week?
(Lies with head on Lion. Falls asleep.
Poppies shake their heads.)
Dorothy
(Drowsily)
What does this mean? My head reels. My
eyes must close. The perfume stifles me.
There’s danger in this sleep I’m sure.
(Falls asleep.)
(Dashemoff retires up stage.) (Scarecrow
and Tin-man enter from platform at
back.)
Tin-man
Where are you, Hay?
Scarecrow
(Coming down.)
Did the plumber fix you up all right?
Tin-man
Oh, yes. I’m now a soldered, but wiser
man.
Scarecrow
Hello! I’m wounded too.
(Shows tear in leg.)
Got a few pins?
Tin-man
What for?
Scarecrow
(Pointing to tear)
I want to collect my rent.
(Poppies shake heads.)
(All on stage yawn.)
Tin-man
(Looking around.)
Asleep - all of them.
Scarecrow
Let’s wake them up.
Tin-man
You can’t. Before I turned to tin I didn’t
dare to cross these fields.
(Poppies shake.)
Their perfume brings an endless sleep.
Scarecrow
I don’t feel sleepy.
Tin-man
Of course not. It’s the brains that go to
sleep, and you haven’t got any.
Scarecrow
But we can’t leave little Dottie here.
Tin-man
How can we wake her.
Scarecrow
I don’t know, but we must.
Tin-man
Suppose we shake her?
Scarecrow
No; it isn’t polite to shake a lady.
(All characters asleep snore.)
Tin-man
What will we do?
Scarecrow
I think she has a ring that will bring one
of our leading witches to her aid.
Tin-man
(Taking her hand.)
Here it is.
Scarecrow
But we don’t know how it works.
Tin-man
Who can tell us?
Dorothy
(In sleep.)
Oh, Locusta!
(WITCH of the North enters L.3. coming
to Dorothy.)
Witch
Who calls me!
(Sees Dorothy)
The child to whom I promised my
friendship. She and her companions in
the deadly grasp of these treacherous
blossoms. Heartless and poisonous
flowers, dare you defy the power of the
Witch of the North
(Poppies raise their heads.)
Defy me, who rules the North Wind and
holds the Frost King as a willing subject?
for this you shall die. For this shall I
cloud the sunshine, which is your breath,
and chill the warmth which gives you
life.
(Poppies raise heads.)
Hail, winds of the frozen North! Come to
my aid! Embrace these false blossoms,
and wither them with your cold caresses!
King of the Fronst, you do I invoke in
this, my hour of vengeance. Hurl your
glittering atoms upon these cruel flowers
&nb
sp; --
(Poppies kneel.)
Congeal their sap of life, and set upon
them the icy seal of your freezing kiss,
which kills as surely as does their own
treacherous breath. Thus shall my
enemies perish! Thus shall I restore to
life these mortals who now sleep, and
rescue the maiden I have sworn to
protect!
(Poppies shrink away, droop and fall to the ground, as the snow descends and the scene change to Scene 5: Winter Scene. [HANDWRITTEN: The dimmer effect (elective) is worked on gauge, hung behind proscenium. Lights are lowered and when out scene changes to Poppy Field in Winter.] Several snow boys and girls discovered at the back of platform. Snow Queen on high platform C. holding her hands out towards the audience. Snow falls from her hands. Characters are posed R. and L. with Dorothy in C. of stage. When lights have worked up to a light blue she slowly rises, turns and sees the Snow Queen and drops on her knee.
Curtain
ACT II
SCENE:- House and Stage all dark. THE PHANTOM MARCH. Change to Throne
Scene. CHORUS discovered, THE WIZARD OF OZ enters C.
Bardo
All hail to the wonderful Wizard of Oz.
(All salaam.)
Wizard
(to Crowd)
Friends, an attempt has been made to
assassinate your King. As I was about to
enter the Emerald City a pistol shot was
fired and struck me in the chest. After this
I must have a protector.
(To Bardo)
Have we a good chest protector?
Sir Wiley Gyle
(Pointing to Guard L.)
Here’s a good man.
Wizard
(To Guard)
This way, if you please.
(Guard approaches)
What is your business?
Guard
To watch.
Wizard
Antyhing else?
Guard
To guard.
Wizard
Then you are a watch-guard?
Guard
I am.
Wizard
You are? Good. How much?
Guard
How much what, sire?
Wizard
To protect.
Guard
Three dollars a week.
Wizard
I can get a man with whiskers for four.
Guard
But think, sire, I would protect you
against an army. Aye, a thousand. Aye,
ten thousand! If they came upon us I
would run my sword through them, one
by one.
(Suiting action to word)
Wizard
Good boy! And if it came to a
show-down I’d help you run.
(Goes to throne - to crowd)
Friends, I’ll begin my performance with
the magic egg and handkerchief trick.
Gyle
(Aside to others)
Watch!
Wizard
(Bus)
I have here a tame egg and a fresh laid
handkerchief. Now what I propose to do
is to place the egg within the
handkerchief and have it disappear, and
re-appear in the mouth of some innocent
spectator.
Gyle
Bah!
Wizard