The Price of Fame - KJ1

by Lynn Ames

  “I bet that’s what you say to all the girls, isn’t it?” Jay shot back.

  “Don’t believe everything you read, love. I take it you’ve seen the Globe this morning.”

  “Oh yeah, I saw it. So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you haven’t told me where you are or that you haven’t wanted to talk to me, even though you knew full well where I was. You’ve probably already moved on to the next sucker, haven’t you? How stupid could I be to think someone as perfect as you really could be interested in me as anything other than the flavor of the month? Jesus, Jamison, just take out an ad that says, ‘My name is Jay and I’m naïve, please step on me and then kick me when I’m down.’”

  Kate was reeling. She had expected her lover to be confused, perhaps even upset about the article, but this—everything she’d done, she’d done because she loved Jay heart and soul. And all Jay could think was that once again someone she loved had betrayed her trust and given her what she thought she deserved. Kate’s heart shattered in pieces right there in the hotel room.

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  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Jay,” she said stiffly.

  “That’s what you have to say?”

  “Yes.” Go ahead, Katherine, let her get good and mad. She’s been conditioned to expect the worst for twenty-five years; that’s not going to change in the month that you’ve had together. From where she’s sitting, it looks to her like you’ve just been using her. Let her think that; maybe it will help her get over you faster. This is best for her; anger always supercedes pain. She’ll be fine. Let her go. This Kate thought even as she was dying inside.

  “Fine then. I hope you and...whoever your next conquest is...are having a wonderful time. Don’t bother sending me a postcard. Goodbye, Kate.”

  “Goodbye, my love,” Kate said to the dial tone on the other end. “I will be yours ’til the end of time and beyond. I hope someday you’ll know that.” She dissolved into tears—huge, wracking sobs that burst forth from her tortured soul as she lay face down in the pillow.

  After slamming down the receiver, Jay picked it up to dial once again with shaking hands. “Peter?”

  “Hi, half-pint, how did it go? It must have been great to be able to talk to her, huh?”

  “Oh yeah, a real pleasure,” Jay ground out.

  Peter was immediately alert and concerned. “What happened, Jay?”

  “Never mind, I just think it would be better if you went over and took Fred, okay? I’ll come by later or tomorrow sometime to get my things, give you the key, and have you undo whatever it was you did that allowed me to set and deactivate the security system.”

  “Whoa, whoa. What are you talking about?”

  Jay proceeded to relate in detail everything she had said to Kate and her lover’s responses.

  When she was done he screamed into the phone, “You said what? You did what? Oh my God, oh my God. Shit, I’ve got to find her before she really does disappear.”

  The decibel level of Peter’s voice shocked Jay. She had never heard him lose his cool before. Testily, she said, “It figures. I’m the one who gets screwed, and you’re worried about her. Guess she’s got you wrapped around her little finger too, huh?”

  “You listen to me, Jamison Parker,” he said in a low, barely controlled growl. “I know that you’ve been hurting over all this. Kate told me that she was worried how you would react to the article. She didn’t tell me why, just that you had had a lot of bad stuff happen to you and that she was concerned that your imagination would run away with 262

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  you.” He paused a second. “Boy, I guess she got that right, now didn’t she?

  “Now let me tell you a thing or two about our friend Ms. Kyle: in all the years I have known that woman I have never, ever known her to be anything but painfully honest. I personally have watched her shun gorgeous women who literally have thrown themselves at her feet because she didn’t want to hurt or mislead them. She has avoided relationships, yes, even casual sex, for years because, as she always put it, ‘The right one is out there for me, and until she comes along, I’ll just wait on the sidelines, thank you very much.’ Hell, I didn’t think people like that still existed! So many people misunderstood and labeled her cold and aloof. The ice princess. She never showed how much that hurt her; she just let them think what they would and went about her life with style and class. Katherine Kyle has more integrity than anyone I’ve ever known, and that’s going a ways.

  “When she fell so hard for you, I was flabbergasted and overjoyed. I never thought I’d see the day that my best friend would find true love and happiness. But she found it with you. When she told me she had proposed to you, well, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

  And when all this bullshit happened, I was sick for her that she felt so strongly that she would do anything in the world to protect you. Yes, she went away to protect you, Jay, because she thought your future and your career were worth more than her happiness and her future, despite my arguments and Barbara’s arguments to the contrary. She was adamant that she would never do anything to jeopardize you, no matter what it cost her. Being away from you was killing her, and, frankly, I don’t know what she’ll do now.”

  Jay felt any remaining color drain from her face.

  On a roll, Peter was too upset to hold anything back. “Today, this morning, when she didn’t refute anything you said, that was her way of letting you get on with your life because she knew that if you were truly angry at her, that would override the hurt you were feeling and you could move on and stay anonymous and have the life and career she thought you deserved. Bully for her, she’s a better person than I. I don’t think I could have done what she did.”

  By this time Jay was beside herself. The tears rolled down her cheeks unimpeded and she felt so sick to her stomach she thought she might have to make a run to the bathroom. “God, I’m such an idiot. What have I done? Now she thinks I don’t believe in her and she has nothing to come back to. She’s hurting and alone and I just threw grease on the fire.

  Peter, I’m so, so sorry. Oh God, this is all my fault.”

  “It’s not me you need to apologize to, Jay,” he said quietly. After a few seconds he asked, “Do you love her?”

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  “More than life itself.”

  “You’d better mean that, young lady.”

  “You have no idea,” she answered.

  “Okay.”

  “Can you get her on the phone for me again? If she’ll take my call, I mean?”

  Peter sighed heavily. “I don’t know where she is, Jay. I don’t know where she called me from.”

  “You don’t?”

  “No, she never gave me the names of the places she was staying, only a rough idea of where in the world she was. She wanted to be so careful; she didn’t want there to be any way anyone could trace her. Heck, she’s been paying for everything with cash and even took a detour to Chicago with the help of an old theatre friend of hers to fool those tabloid jerks into thinking she was going to be staying with a matronly aunt for a few months. All to keep them away from you. She made me promise I would keep an eye out and wouldn’t let the media anywhere near you. I’ve never seen her this crazed about anything. She gave up everything that she was, everything that she had, for you.

  “And Jay, despite the things you said to her this morning, she’ll continue to protect you and keep you safe. Kate loves you with all her being. Knowing her, no matter what you did, or do, to her, that will always be the case. She never does things in half measures.”

  “I have to make this right. Somehow, I have to make this right.” Jay’s head was about to explode. After a minute she said, “I know what I have to do.” It was as if she were talking to herself and she’d forgotten that Peter was even there. “Peter? I’m going to the office now. I need to talk to Trish.”

  “Wait a minute, Jay. Wait. Don’t do anything rash, no
w. Kate has gone to a lot of trouble to keep you out of harm’s way. If you fly in the face of that, she’ll murder me.”

  Jay smiled for the first time in what seemed like years. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll protect you,” she teased. “Listen, I have to turn in my story and see what, if anything, my next assignment is. By the time I’m done with that, can you try to pinpoint where you think she might be so that I can go find her?”

  “I don’t know, Jay...”

  “Peter, please. I know you probably don’t like me very much right now. Heck, I don’t much like myself. But I do love Kate with all my heart and soul, and I’m not giving us up without a fight. I just made the biggest mistake of my life, but I’m going to do everything in my power to fix it. Will you help me? For Kate’s sake?”

  “God, you are incorrigible, you know that?”

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  “So I’ve been told.”

  “Okay, call me back when you’ve done what you need to do.”

  As he hung up the phone, Peter nodded to himself. That was more like what he had expected from Jay in the first place. He felt better already. Maybe this could work out in the end. In spite of the fact that she had just trampled all over his best friend and likely broken her heart in a million pieces, he did know that Kate and Jay loved each other more than any couple he’d ever seen, and any fool could see that they belonged together. Beyond that, he liked the little imp. She’d been under a lot of strain and was exhausted and depressed; clearly she just hadn’t been thinking straight before she jumped in with both feet. He shook his head.

  You’re turning into an old sentimental mushball, Enright. Disgusting.

  Jay showed up in the office just before 10:00 a.m. and found Trish buried behind stacks of paper.

  “Hiya, kiddo,” the editor said without looking up. “Got a story for me?”

  “Here it is,” the writer said so quietly Trish almost didn’t hear her.

  That made her look up.

  “Geez, you look terrible, kid. What the hell happened to you? Come on, come with me.” Without waiting for an answer she led Jay out of the office and down to the coffee shop downstairs. “What’s up, Jay? This isn’t like you. What’s the matter?”

  Jay couldn’t look her in the eye. “I need to tell you something, Trish, and I’ll understand, whatever you decide to do about it.”

  “Sounds ominous. What is it?”

  “You remember you showed me those pictures last week in the Enquirer of Katherine Kyle?”

  “Yeah,” the editor drew the word out. “The ones that made her lose her job.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So?”

  Jay looked up and pinned her friend and editor with a piercing stare, her chin held high. “I’m the other woman in those pictures.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that the woman Kate was kissing was me. We’d gone away to St. John to get away from everything. That picture was taken the day she proposed to me.” She smiled wistfully.

  “Holy Mother...you mean you’re getting married...to her? Wow, Jay.

  Wow.”

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  The writer plowed on, “And now she’s disappeared in order to protect my career and my future and to keep the tabloid vultures away from me.

  When she realized that no one could see my face and even you didn’t know who the blonde was, she devised a plan to keep anyone from figuring it out.”

  The editor whistled. “Now that’s love.”

  “Yeah, the only problem is that I saw the item in the Globe this morning and I let some ugly stuff from my past get in the way. It was the first time I’d talked to her since she went away, and I said some very nasty things and now she thinks I don’t believe in her and there’s nothing to come home to, and I have no way to get in touch with her. I don’t even know where she is. No one does, exactly.” Jay raked her fingers through her hair.

  “Huh.”

  “I’m sorry, Trish, I never meant to mislead you. We weren’t involved when you assigned me the story and we didn’t get involved until after I’d finished all the research and all the interviews—”

  “Jay, stop it, hon. Listen to me. You’re the best damn reporter I got.

  You wrote a fabulous story. I sure couldn’t figure out that you were involved with her, so I know it must have been objective. I know you would never do something like that on purpose. It’s okay. Really. I don’t care. You’ve got so much potential, Jay, it just doesn’t matter to me. You can love anyone you want. Hell, who wouldn’t want to be married to that woman!”

  Jay smiled shyly. “Yeah, she’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?”

  “Yep, honey, she’s a real looker. So this is what we’re going to do: I’m going to put you on floater status.” She winked. “No firm assignment, just an ‘in case’ kind of deal. You call in once a day this week to see if I’ve got anything for you, okay?”

  “Are you sure?”

  It was the first spark of life Trish had seen in her friend’s eyes

  “Positive. You love her, right?”

  “Oh God, do I.”

  “Then go get her and bring her back here. I don’t give a damn what they say about you, you’re mine and I’m not going to let anyone mess with you. Don’t worry. Now, you better get going, and don’t forget to invite me to the wedding.”

  “You’re the best, Trish,” Jay gushed, getting up and hugging her friend hard.

  “Careful, you’ll bruise me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, kid; let me know how it’s going.”

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  Jay nodded and ran out of the coffee shop and out the front door of the building, not stopping until she was on the subway headed to her apartment.

  “What do you have, Peter? Anything?” She was breathless.

  “Nothing solid, but I have a pretty good guess.”

  “Okay, I’m listening.” For the first time that day, Jay felt hopeful.

  “I think she was in Flagstaff this morning when you talked to her. She said she was someplace big enough that they had a newsstand, which knocks out everyplace else in the area. I think she was on her way to Sedona.”

  “That would make sense. She told me once that it was one of her favorite places and she’d been there many times.”

  “I can’t guarantee that she’ll follow through with that now, though.”

  Jay closed her eyes and thought for a minute. “I think she will. It’s a very important place to her, and I would think she’d want to seek solace in the familiar.” Her chest ached at the thought. Oh, love, I’m so, so sorry. I’m going to find you, whatever it takes, and get you back here with me, where you belong.

  “You may be right about that. If not, there’s not much I can do to find her under the radar screen without alerting people we don’t want to alert.”

  “I hope you’re right, Peter, and my heart tells me you are.”

  “Good, ’cause I’ve taken the liberty of booking you on the next plane leaving from New York for Phoenix in oh, two hours. And I’ve got you on a private plane from Phoenix to the Sedona airport.”

  “You’re amazing!”

  “Don’t mention it. There’s a car waiting for you downstairs to take you to the airport when you’re ready. Don’t worry, the driver won’t ask any questions.”

  “Peter, do you think you’ll hear from her again before I see her?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Kate tends to pull completely into herself when she’s wounded.”

  The thought of that made a silent tear slide down Jay’s face. “Okay, but if she does...”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it. Call me when you land in Phoenix and I’ll give you an update.”

  “Thanks, Peter, you’re a prince.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Now you sound like someone else I know.”

  “Bye, Peter.”

  “Bye, Jay. Good luck.”
/>   “Thanks.”

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  Kate wasn’t sure how long she’d lain there crying. Eventually she fell asleep for a short period of time, her body reacting to the extreme emotional release. When she awoke, all she wanted to do was run away and never stop. The pain was unbearable. She had hoped the combination of her love and time would be enough to help Jay over her insecurities; instead, it seemed that it was something Jay was going to have to work out for herself. Kate had failed; she had gambled on the strength of Jay’s faith in her and lost. Her lover was gone for good.

  She thought about her options: there was nothing she needed to be doing, no responsibilities to be taken care of, and no place she needed to be. She literally could drop off the face of the Earth and no one would care, except for maybe Fred, Peter, and Barbara. She’d go back briefly and pick up Fred; the other two would get over it.

  As she lay there on her back thinking, a wave of nearly nauseating fear struck her. She opened her eyes wide. Odd; it was as if it wasn’t coming from her, but from somewhere else. She quieted her mind and concentrated on the feeling. After a few minutes the fear was replaced by self-loathing, resignation, and despair. Huh. Kate remembered her conversation with her lover the day she’d gotten fired, when Jay had told her she could feel Kate’s anger and distress. Could these be Jay’s feelings and not hers?

  Kate thought about it for a minute. The sensations certainly weren’t consistent with her own normal range of reactions; but then, these weren’t normal circumstances. It wasn’t every day your heart stopped beating while you were still alive and breathing. As she was debating this, the emotion shifted to a sense of determination. Definitely Jay, she thought; it sure as hell wasn’t her right now. She wondered what it meant. Then, just as quickly, she tried to put it out of her mind. No, Katherine, Jay made it clear where you stand; you’d do well to try to train yourself to let go.

  Nonetheless, the fact that she had some connection to the love of her life gave her cause to be grateful. She decided to get up, shower, and move on to Sedona as she had planned. It was, after all, one of the most spiritual places in the world, and God knew she needed the help just then.