Light

by Amna

second time in fear of losing my mother who knew I was dying every night the covers were pulled off me before it was morning , maybe one day my sister could live in a world where she is considered beautiful , maybe one day my mother could fight her fast demise of whatever pretty features she may have had at some point and won’t be intimidated by any younger woman, maybe we can one day all live in a world where young and pretty is not the only beauty , but until then we all make our choices in life, even if we are forced and caught off guards we choose to ignore our children’s pleas and cries at night and shut the light , we ignore the facts about our beloved parents and protect them even though we can’t even stand looking at ourselves in the reflection of our spoon at the table, we choose to go inside the room and take away a piece of our children every time we do so then stare out their window. We choose everything even though we may have never been represented with any choices , even if all the circumstances are beyond us and even if in that light we choose nothing other than what is already presented to us to choose, our nature , instincts , and character that we cannot escape and as so some call us sick and ugly I choose to leave these questions unanswered , leave these people unloved, no one is bad and no one is good , we are what we are and we do what we do ,and to believe that maybe we can shape our character from the inside to present a pretty façade on the outside for people to see requires much , much more blindness than we are presented with. And I , for one when presented with the choice of accepting my imminent end of career, end of the current , and only perception of beauty, , let it be a day from now or 5 years from now will choose what very few people accept to acknowledge , which is that there is always a way out. You just need to know that you are in charge , it is up to you and not the other man in the room. You need to know when it is time to enter and know when it is time exit.