Perfect Imperfections

by Unknown

  Of all the things Dave did to pamper Kim—and he did a lot of pampering—this had to top it all. She couldn’t help but smile ear-to-ear as she got dressed, and the smile did not fade as she went back into the living room where Bill, Cheryl and Beth had already arrived amongst Sam’s and Judith’s guests.

  Dave came in behind Kim and whispered, “Perfect!” He then slid his arm around her waist and escorted her to Saurabh and Suzanne to introduce them to her.

  The party was just as Kim had expected. It was easy, everyone mingled around, the hired help did just fine, and even though she would have loved to check on them, she reminded herself that she needed to be out with the guests.

  “Really, what is the point? They are doing a fine job without you breathing down on them,” Beth teased.

  The music, which Bill had taken charge of, was perfect for the evening. Everything was just perfect, but could have been so much more if Richard was there to be a part of this. The thought was like a piercing dagger that left Kim felt teary. No I am not going to this to myself. She thought and forced to make sense of what Dave and Sam were talking. It seemed like Sam had introduced some of her friends and Dave interrogated them with a series of questions.

  “….so Jake, where is this gallery that you said you have leased?” Dave seemed unusually interested in Jake, a slim guy with a slight hunch, with a mop of ruffled brown hair. But he came across as confident in his faded jeans and buttoned down white shirt. That is why Dave was grilling him; he was too casual for Dave’s standards.

  Sam looked at Dave and nodded, “Dave, please.” There was a plea in her voice.

  Dave gave her a wink and walked to his other friends.

  Kim raised an eyebrow at Sam and asked “Who is he?”

  “He came to the mall to talk about exhibiting some art pieces. He is new to this place, so I invited him over. I was just being polite,” Sam justified. “Please tell Dave not to go all big brotherly on me again. It’s embarrassing, especially in front of strangers, and strangers whom I am not interested in.”

  Then she hastily went away to join Jake and her other friends.

  Just then, the music was turned off and the growling crowd was silenced by the clinking of a spoon to a glass. The two hired helps swept in and went around offering everyone a glass of champagne and Dave voice was heard loud and clear over the murmur.

  “Now that I have everyone’s attention, I would Kim, the host of this lovely party, to come join me here.”

  Kim was a little surprised and a lot embarrassed with whatever it was that Dave was planning to do. Dave knew she did not like to be put on the spot this way, then why was he doing this?

  Kim could feel her face flush as she walked across the room and stood beside Dave with a big question-mark on her face. Judith stood close on the other side of Dave with Sam; both with broad smiles on their faces. Kim looked at them and then back at Dave, who was now on one knee with a beautiful blue box with Tiffany embossed in silver on it held out in front of him. “I know you like it simple and this is as simple as I could make this.” He slowly opened the box and said, “Will you marry me?”

  The room went quiet and every eye was on Kim. But instant of the expected reaction of squeals, tears of joy, and nervous laughter, Kim went pale as if the blood had drained from her body. What was Dave doing? Why was he doing this? Kim struggled to clear her mind and the reality of the moment finally dawned at her. Dave was asking her to marry him. Marry him? All of a sudden, the room seemed too crowded and she felt claustrophobic. It finally hit her that she didn’t love Dave, didn’t love him enough to marry him. At least not just yet and maybe never. She finally gathered enough courage to look up from the ring and into Dave’s eyes as hers blurred with tears and Dave knew it was over. And leaving him there in the middle of the room down on one knee and a ring holding an ocean of promises that Kim knew Dave would have kept, she just walked out, locking the door behind her.

  CHAPTER 11

  “Kim?”

  Kim turned to look. She had been in her seat shading her eyes from the sun. The person whom the voice belonged to was unknown to her.

  “Yes?” she replied.

  “Kim, right?”

  “Yes, that’s me. And you are?”

  “Jake… Jake Benson.”

  “Okay, Jake Benson. Nice meeting you,” said Kim and turned back to face the sea.

  “So you have no clue who I am?” said Jake, placing his hands in his pocket.

  This annoyed Kim. She clearly didn’t recognize this person who seemed determined not to move. She got up, dusting the sand off herself, picked up her shoes and bags, and looked at him, and then a faint flicker of recognition crossed her face.

  Jake saw that, and a mild pang of worry grew within him. Perhaps he realized that jogging Kim’s memory would be like opening a can of worms, but now it was too late. “I am a friend of Sam’s,” he said hastily, “really, just an acquaintance. You might recall I was at your place a few months ago for a dinner party.”

  The last few words were softly-spoken, almost mumbled.

  “Jake, the art gallery guy?” said Kim, finally recognizing who he was. She hadn’t been able to put a face on the guy, but she remembered the conversation now. She could not remember a lot of that night anyway, but the part that she really wanted to forget had been haunting her since the past three months. Every second of that ill-fated proposal was as fresh as it had happened just minutes ago.

  Kim put her oversized shaded on and hunted in her bag for her car keys. “Nice to meet you, Jake,” she said. It was a second attempt of ending the conversation, but she failed again.

  “Sam has been helping me set up my exhibition,” continued Jake.

  “Well, I am sure she is doing a fab job for you,” said Kim, walking towards her car. But Jake began matching his steps with her. Why is he not getting it that I want to be alone? — Kim thought.

  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked, with a smile plastered on his face.

  Now, Kim stopped. She looked at him straight in the eyes and said, “Listen, Jake, I don’t know if I can put this without being rude. But, I really don’t know you well enough to have a conversation with you. So, if you don’t mind…”

  “I know, and that’s why it will be perfect,” said Jake. The smile still hadn’t vanished from his face. “A few friends and artists are meeting at the Jetty Lounge tonight. Just for drinks, you know. No one really knows anyone who will be coming, so it will be perfect. We are all headed there, but you could come around eightish.”

  “And, why am I invited?”

  “Just like that,” said Jake as he began to walk away. “You do look like someone who could use a drink or two in the company of strangers.”

  “What!” exclaimed Kim.

  But that outburst was lost on Jake, who was already jogging to catch up with a group of guys who seemed to have been waiting for him, definitely the other revelers of this party that was going to happen. But, Kim was beside herself in her angry thoughts. How arrogant and presumptuous of the guy to think I’ll just come! What does he think?

  But, that chain of thought soon changed. The moment she was in the car, and she closed the door, she realized how lonely she was. Maybe it was the claustrophobic environment of the car, but it reminded her that it had been months since she had been in the company of anyone. Even her closest friends had not seen her for weeks. Her mother and sister had resigned themselves to the fact that Kim would come out of the solitude in her own time. Forcing her to do so would be a retrogression.

  Though Jake’s invite had been abrupt, there was a challenge in it. Kim was reminded of her slightly younger self, where she had taken up a job as a cabin crewmember just because of the adventure involved in it. Somehow, the invite had appealed to that younger self of hers, and, unknown to herself, she smiled. It seemed like a nice idea to hang out with a bunch of people who didn’t know what a horrible person she was. When those thoughts began to enter her mind, she made her
decision.

  That evening — the evening when that ill-fated proposal had been made — had turned into a nightmare instead of a celebration. However, the nightmare had been the most acute for Kim and, try as she might, she couldn’t wake up from it. She had spent days after days, nights after nights, in half-sleep and in some kind of unconscious limbo with thoughts oscillating between her feelings for Dave and why she walked out on him. She had asked a million questions to herself, but hadn’t found an answer that was acceptable enough. She had spent hours staring at her phone, wanting to call Dave and to explain the whole thing. What would she say? — I am not ready to marry you as yet? I didn’t mean to humiliate you, but I did? — what was it that she could really say to him?

  And these questions would be followed by a sharp ache. She knew that the only person who could have helped her to understand this situation was Dave. He would have understood her perfectly without her having to say anything. Perhaps he understood her even how, and that was why he never called. Perhaps he understood it all without her having to say anything to him.

  It was over. But the bigger problem was that Kim didn’t know why she couldn’t come to terms with her decision.

  The morning after the party had been dull and quiet. Kim had walked out of her room to find Judith and Sam already up and sitting with their coffee mugs. She grabbed her own coffee and sat at her usual spot by the window. Judith had been so enraged that Sam had to keep pleading with her not to say anything to Kim until she herself wanted to talk. But Judith had had it with Kim’s ways of doing things as she pleased. Richard had stopped her before, but that day, there was no Richard.

  Judith wanted to give Kim a piece of her mind. She looked at Sam, who merely nodded to indicate her despair, walked up to Kim, and stood next to her for a moment.

  Finally, Kim looked up at her mother. Her eyes were red and her face was slightly swollen. She had been holding her tears back, but now they gushed down her cheeks in a flood. Judith had not seen Kim in that state ever. Kim had always been her strong girl, but that day, she was so helpless, a broken mess.

  In the weeks that followed, Kim just retracted into a shell. She refused to meet or talk with Beth or Cheryl. She stopped going out. She became so reserved and formal even at home that it became a matter of concern.

  ***

  “Ma, is everything okay?” Sam asked. She had just entered the home and placed her keys on the counter by the entrance, and had found Judith pacing the room frantically.

  “Kim is not at home,” said Judith, worried. “Her phone is in her room. She hasn’t been at home all day, Sam.”

  “Have you called Dave or Bill, Cheryl, Beth, anyone?” Sam began to rummage in her bag for her phone.

  “All of them, but not Dave, but I asked Bill to check if at all she was with him. He told me Dave has been in office all day and Kim hasn’t come by.”

  The moment Sam got her phone, it started to ring. It was her friend, Sharon. She took the call and spoke quickly, “Hi Sharon… cannot come tonight. Sorry, but I’ll have to cancel on you guys. Kim hasn’t been at home all day and we have no idea where she is.”

  “Aha, bad timing,” Sharon said at the other end. Then she added after a moment, “Heard Jake bumped into her this evening. I’ll check with him and let you know.”

  “Ah, great!” Sam said as the line got disconnected. She told her mother, “Ma, Jake saw her today. Maybe he knows where she might have gone.”

  And just then, they heard the jingling of keys. The door swung open and Kim walked right in, closing the door behind her.

  “You people are home early,” she said in a low uninterested voice.

  “Kim!” Judith greeted her with an angry yell as she walked towards her. “Don’t you dare pull off this kind of a stunt ever again! Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? I called everyone who even remotely knows you. Probably they are all still looking for you somewhere.”

  Kim just stared at her mother, speechless for a moment. A spate of fury arose within her. What was mom thinking? — she thought. After everything, she goes and makes another spectacle of me? Everyone will now look at me liked I am a deranged nutcase that needs to be looked after.

  She wanted to yell at her mother too, but she was just not in the mood to get into an argument. She reminded herself that living with a parent meant letting them know your whereabouts at all times no matter how old you got.

  Sam understood the tension and cut in, “Where were you all day, anyway?”

  “Just went to the museum and then was at the deli and then at the Marina,” Kim said. She went and sat on the sofa. “By the way, I bumped into Jake. Don’t know is he your friend or your business acquaintance?” Kim tried to behave as though everything was all right. However, her mom, who was still steaming, huffed away into her room and closed the door to make sure she didn’t say anything to make matters worse.

  Sam got into the kitchen and began heating some milk. “Want some hot chocolate? Making some for myself,” she said. Then she realized Kim was still awaiting a reply. So she added, “Jake… he is the guy I introduced to you people… that night…” The mere mention of the night was painful for Kim, whose expression began to rapidly change, so Sam went on, “I met him through Sharon. He is new to this town. Setting up his gallery, and I am helping him with that. It’s just an exhibition at the Mall to advertise his upcoming art exhibition, and the big launch of the gallery. Beyond that, I don’t know much about him. But, he is cute, isn’t he?” She ended with a wink.

  “He invited me to a party tonight,” said Kim, taking her mug of hot chocolate.

  “Interesting!” said Sam in a singsong voice. “So, are you going?”

  “I might. Though I won’t know anyone there.” And that is the only reason why I am considering going.

  “Let me know if you are planning to drink. I will come pick you up if you want.”

  “Why? Don’t you have any plans for tonight?”

  “I have, but I am not planning to drink. So, you can call me once you are done and want to be picked up.”

  “Sam…”

  “Yeah?”

  “In all this that happened, I haven’t thanked you or mom. So, thanks.”

  Sam looked up from the hot chocolate she was blowing at. She said, “We may not understand your reasons, Kim, but nobody hates you. I hope you know that. And, when you are ready to talk, if you want to, we are going to be there.”

  CHAPTER 12

  It had been a long time since Sam had met her friend Sharon, so they decided to meet at a new coffee shop that had opened near Sharon’s house. When the coffees arrived, Sam emptied the brown sugar sachet into hers and said, “You know, I can never thank Dave enough for helping me get this job.”

  Judith — she had been a mute pawn in this game. When Kim walked out on Dave, Judith had felt terribly let down. With all that Kim had put Richard through, the days of agony when Kim refused to come and meet him, that had been all for nothing. All that he had done for her and the Noyes family was of no use.

  However, it was unfair on Judith’s part to force Kim to live with someone because they felt indebted to that person. That was wrong at every level. In fact, Judith should have felt better that Kim had finally ended the relationship that she and Richard had been against. But somewhere between not knowing this person Dave and getting deeply dependent on him, they had grown to like this person on an individual level. He had built a one-on-one relationship with Sam and Judith. Kim didn’t need to be part of every conversation they had, and Sam had grown to accept that Dave would always be a part of their lives.

  Actually, even though Sam always knew that her parents’ initial resentment against Dave was because they considered him to be a cradle-snatcher, she had always been fond of him. He loved her sister and that was enough for Sam to love him and to accept him as part of her family. Despite all of Kim’s flaws and struggles, he loved her. He had been there for her when she had to support her family and be strong for
them. It made Sam feel good that there was someone looking after her big sister when she looked after the family.

  Dave had brought out the best in Kim. He had encouraged her to be her individual and unique self. But now, they were at a crossroads that Kim had imposed on them. It was difficult for her to think about what Kim had done and to imagine what it must have done to Dave.

  Sam had thought of meeting Dave after that evening, but Dave just didn’t seem to want to meet anyone from the family. He had only told her on the phone the morning after the proposal, “Sam, take care of yourself and of your family.” And that was that.

  “You know, Sharon, sometimes it makes me so angry that Kim can be so blind.” Sam took a sip of her coffee and placed the mug back on the table. Her eyes didn’t stray from the tissue paper held in her fingers. “You know what the worst part of all this is?” she continued. “What she did to Dave… it just doesn’t make any sense. They were so happy, he made her so happy. It just doesn’t make any sense.”

  There was a long pause before Sharon asked, “Have you or Aunt Judith spoken to Kim about it? Or, has she come up to either of you and discussed what went wrong all of a sudden?” Sharon was one of the few people who had actually been present at the party.

  “Oh, you know how Kim gets!” said Sam. “She will keep things bottled up, never share her feelings. And, God forbid if you try.” She raised her hands as she spoke. There was real annoyance in her voice now. “If you try to coax her, or try to have a conversation that even remotely involves her feelings, she just clams up. You know, like one of those touch-me-not plants. I don’t understand why she has to make things more difficult than they need to be. You just have to wait it out, wait till she figures things out for herself. Then, she will come to us. But how long will that take? That is anybody’s guess.”