Perfect Imperfections

by Unknown

  Suddenly, she began to see the similarities between him and her father. Both of these men had always been there for her. It was something that should have made her smile, but instead it seeped in as a fear. How had she not seen this before? Her relationship with Dave was uncannily similar to that of her parents. Oh Ma! Why couldn’t I see it? — she whispered in the dark, clutching her heart as though it would beat its way out.

  Now she began to see the reason behind Judith’s concern for her, and Richard’s reluctance to accept Dave. They didn’t have a problem with Dave. He was not a bad person and they knew that. They knew and could see what Kim in her shortsightedness and defiance couldn’t. Even though Kim had felt reluctance deep down within her somewhere, she just didn’t want to see that she was in a relationship with a man much older to her.

  Then the fear crept in. A day would come — yes, it would — when he would leave her just like Richard had left her mother.

  For a moment, Kim thought she was jumping the guns yet again and making assumptions that were unfair to Dave. But the seeds of this thought had already been present somewhere deep in her conscience. Only now, they been watered by the sudden realization.

  She wondered about the hardships her mother had faced. The hurt that Kim had often seen in Judith’s eyes and the guilt in her father’s began to make sense to her.

  She recalled hearing her parents argue one night. She had been only fourteen and they had just moved to Dubai. “Richard, you need to realize that you have a family, two girls who depend on you,” Judith had said and that was followed by a deafening pause.

  “We cannot keep moving every few years,” she had continued. “You need to swallow your pride or ego or whatever it is that you have with your bosses and stick it out with a job. We cannot live like this anymore. Fifteen years is a long time for me to allow you to do things your way. Don’t you see we need to give these girls some stability?"

  Until then, Kim had never heard her mom speak in a loud voice. It had sounded like a stranger's voice to her. Then she had heard Richard’s protest, “Judith, you know I cannot work for such people — such unintelligent narrow-minded people who want mechanical work and have no room for imagination and cannot appreciate new ideas and innovations, even though that is exactly why they hire me. Do you know how stifling it is? Do you want me to be unhappy and work just for the money?” Richard’s voice was calm, in stark opposition to Judith’s angry one.

  “Yes! Yes Richard, I want you to work for the money for once,” Judith had replied with all her anger intact, “because that is what will buy you and your family a comfortable life. If that makes you unhappy then that is your problem to deal with. Not your little Sammy’s or Kimmy’s, who were sent back home from school because we have not paid their fees since last term. Did you not see their faces? Did it not break your heart?”

  Judith had broken down just then and there had been a momentary silence, for she had collected herself almost immediately and said, “Richard, we cannot live like this. At least, let me go look for a job till you find something that you are happy with. It will be a temporary thing.”

  Once again, there had been silence after that, which had left little Kim wondering why her mother needed her father’s permission to look for a job. It would not be until another year when she got to know that her mother was from a very affluent family in Canada and had married her much elder brother's best friend, very much against her family’s wishes. Her parents had been in love despite the fourteen-year age gap, but soon her mother had faced the hardships caused by her father’s brilliance and inability to work under people, leaving them to live a very basic life. On most days, it had been merely hand-to-mouth. When the temporary agreement of her mother working had become a permanent one, Kim could not remember.

  CHAPTER 9

  Kim didn’t realize when the darkness of the night sky began to fade away and turn to light. But she knew she couldn’t stay in bed any longer. She felt the urgent need to shed the memories that had haunted her the whole night. She wanted to bury them, erase them, but experience told her that such memories never go away; they return to haunt at the oddest hours.

  The many places Kim had been fortunate to travel to, she had loved to experiment with morning beverages. The Turkish coffee, Café Cubano, Restretto, Café Bombon — these were some of her favorites, which went beyond the various versions of cappuccino and latte. Kim had mastered these tastes, and she even prepared them with some mastery as often as she could. She also enjoyed her teas, and had mastered many of them too.

  But today, she wanted her trusted latte. She knew caffeine would be the only thing that could help her get through this day.

  Judith and Sam weren’t up yet, which meant there was still some time. Kim sat by the window, looking at the quiet street and stared straight ahead as far as she could see. She noticed nothing on the roads, but was still entangled in her thoughts. She couldn’t figure out what it was that upset her so much. Still unaware of her feelings, the unease within her was growing. Finally, she decided, she couldn’t afford to ponder over something that she couldn’t figure out. She brushed it aside as pangs of nervousness about moving back. What else could they be?

  Then, as she walked into the kitchen to get her cup of coffee, still engrossed in her thoughts, she heard her mother’s surprised voice, “You are up early, Kim?”

  And, suddenly, Kim was happy to see her mother. She couldn’t have been gladder to see her mom — anyone and anything was welcome as long as she could get away from her thoughts.

  “I thought I’d see the rising sun. I don’t get to see much of it these days,” Kim managed to say with a smile. Then she moved from the window, switched on the TV and sat down on the sofa. Her mother evidently understood that there was something going on in her mind but Kim knew she wouldn’t bring up anything that she didn’t want to talk about. Judith wouldn’t disturb her anymore; she wanted her daughter to move back home.

  “Sam will be going for that interview that Dave has set up for her,” said Judith. Sam, who had finished her studies was back home. She was looking for some work experience before going for her Masters in Business Management.

  “I think the head office is a little far from here,” continued Judith after a long gulp of coffee. “But we’ll see about it once she gets through. He mentioned that they are looking for candidates for their new branch at the City Center too. So, maybe, they could put her there. It will be better for her to commute anyway.”

  Kim listened absentmindedly as her fingers kept flicking through the TV channels. Her mother took the remote from her and continued, “Of course, that’s being presumptuous. She needs to get through first.”

  “Mom,” Kim said, “do you think we are getting too dependent on Dave for every small thing?”

  The doubt that had been pestering Kim since several days was now out in the open, but the moment she said it, she began to regret it. It hadn’t sounded like such a bad idea in her head.

  Judith looked at her with widened eyes. She felt a wave of anger rushing in her body, so much so that she could even feel the heat on her face. But she checked herself. The anger was because she thought of all that Kim had made Richard go through when he had advised her against Dave. Now, she had doubts? Judith didn’t want to get into an argument with Kim. She reminded herself of that. But she also knew that she could not allow Kim to follow this particular train of thoughts.

  “Kim, you must not think too much,” said Judith, choosing her words carefully. “It can spoil even the good things in life.” Judith was wary.

  Judith did not want to say anything, even by accident, which could tick Kim off. She knew that if Kim went this time, she would not return for a long, long time, and so an uncomfortable silence stretched between them.

  On the other hand, Kim knew what her mother had carefully masked in her words, and she didn’t get mad. She couldn’t get mad. There was nothing her mom had said or not said that could upset her.

  Just the
n, Sam walked in, and they both forced a smile for her benefit.

  The smiles amused Sam. She walked over and helped herself to a mug of coffee and said cheerfully, “Don’t mind me. Please continue whatever it is that you people are doing, and do stop with those fake smiles!”

  Then she sat with them in the living room, but there was silence once again. However, it was not as piercing as before.

  Sam had always managed to bring a sense of normalcy into the household. That was the reason that everybody else tried to keep things as normal as possible for her benefit. Sending her away when Richard was ill wasn’t an easy decision to take, but they did not want her to live with the image of her father’s deteriorating health. Even Richard himself had always wanted his Sammy to remember him as her strong Pa.

  That was why she was away from the drama that ensued when Kim broke the news about her relationship with Dave. Sam had always been the sheltered one in the family, and everyone ensured things were kept as normal as possible for her, but the fact was that everyone derived some strength from her cheerfulness. Slowly, they had begun to realize that in making things normal for Sam, they were helping themselves more than they were helping her.

  ***

  Dave flew with Kim to Abu Dhabi to help her pack up and sort out the paperwork that needed to be done. It took them a little over two weeks to sort everything out. This time, their stay at Abu Dhabi wasn’t rushed. They had no business or work that needed them to be up and running. Once they vacated the house Kim had leased out, handed over the keys, and moved into a hotel, they were free. It would take them a couple of hours in the mornings to complete the necessary paperwork, but the rest of the days were free. They decided to make the most of this time they had.

  “I want to buy something from here, as a keepsake,” said Kim when they started walking towards the hotel exit on their last day there.

  “Okay,” said Dave. “Do you have anything in mind other than postcards and coffee pots?”

  “Hmm… I don’t know.”

  “How about we go to the Al Mina market then?” suggested Dave. “Maybe we could look in their carpet souk. Does that sound good?”

  “Yes, that’d be nice,” said Kim after a moment’s thought. “But this time, I want something smaller. Not like the one you convinced me to pick up in Tehran.”

  “Oh, you don’t like it? An original Iranian carpet from Tehran, and you don’t like it?”

  “No, no, of course, I like it. I love it,” said Kim hastily. “But I want something smaller this time. Something that I can put up on the wall.”

  “Why would you put a carpet up on the wall?”

  “Because I want to defy gravity and start walking on the walls,” said Kim, with a twinge of annoyance.

  “Ah! Defying gravity. I guess that’s the only thing that you haven’t defied yet,” Dave teased and gave her a side hug and lightly pressed his lips on her head. Kim couldn’t help but smile to herself just as their ride pulled in and the valet opened the door to the car for them.

  CHAPTER 10

  “I don’t want to go back to work just yet.”

  Kim made this admission to Cheryl as she went through the line of handmade jewelry. She had come in a little early for their lunch date to go through the new collection displayed at Cheryl’s store of handmade jewelry.

  “Why?” said Cheryl. “Won’t you get bored just sitting at home?” Simultaneously, she smiled at one of the customers as she handed her the sealed store bag and bid her goodbye. “I hope you enjoy your purchase here today. Do visit us again,” she told her and then she turned to Kim and said, “What do you want to do? Continue flying?”

  “No. I mean I do enjoy the experience and the places I get to visit,” said Kim. She had gone around the aisle and came back to the counter where Cheryl was making some entry on the computer. “But I want to take some time off and figure some stuff out.”

  Cheryl was just a year older to Kim, but had been quicker at everything. Kim admired her for her ambitiousness and she already had a successful business of handmade jewelry, which she sourced from various places around the world. She was a feminist in every way, fiercely independent and that made it very hard for her to be in a relationship longer than a month. She was yet to find a man who would not get intimidated because she could look after herself.

  “What stuff?” Cheryl eyed her over her purple cat-rimmed glasses.

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Kim flopped on the stool next to Cheryl. “That’s what I don’t know. I don’t know what and that’s driving me crazy. I want to figure it out.”

  Cheryl listened to Kim with a deadpan look. “Okay, taking time off makes sense,” she said. “But you better not fall into that pit where getting out and finding a job becomes difficult just because you have been ‘unemployed’ for too long.”

  “I know,” said Kim. “And, anyway, I don’t know how comfortable I’d be in a nine-to-five job. Maybe, I should do something like you are doing. You know.”

  “I know. I know you’ll figure it out.”

  “Yeah! And for a change, I can afford to take some time off without worrying about the finances.” A hint of sorrow laced those last words. Cheryl just placed her hand into Kim’s and gently squeezed it.

  “But before that I want to invite you and Beth and Bill and the others for dinner one of these days,” said Kim, quickly changing the topic. She didn’t want to think why they had all the money these days. It felt wrong that Richard’s life insurance claim had cleared and, at the end of it all, he had provided for his girls just like he had promised Judith so many years ago.

  ***

  With all the pain and drama and loss, the Noyes family could have done with a happy moment. And so, when Kim decided to have her close friends over for a dinner get-together it became the center of focus from all three of them. It was a perfect time to celebrate Kim moving back home and Sam had got the job as the sales coordinator at the Duke Mall near City Center as well.

  So Kim went all out to get the guest list ready, even though there would not be more than twenty people. She worked on the menu as well. She wanted to have a mix of the different cuisines she had experienced and enjoyed. When the menu was finalized, she realized she couldn’t get everything done on her own so she went ahead and hired some help to get things organized. She had not intended for it all to turn out this big with the decorations and stuff but when it came to details, she didn’t want to compromise. She wanted to have a happy moment for Sam, for Judith, and it felt nice that she could do that for them without having money be a concern. Also, she had Dave to help her out.

  Kim realized that the insistent ring of her phone that she has assigned to Dave’s contact was not going to go away until she answered “Yes?”

  “Just checking? Did the guy I send for the flowers come in?”

  “Yes, I gave him the details of how I want the flowers arranged. How did you get him to take such a small order? I mean they are supposed to be the best and I am sure they don’t have the time to decorate house parties.”

  “Yeah,” he replied. “I happen to know them, so…”

  “You happen to know a lot of people,” she said and that brought a smile to her face. It really did seem that Dave knew everyone, and that always made things happen for Kim.

  “Did your friends confirm if they are coming?” she asked him. “I don’t want to be short on food for last minute add-ons.”

  “Yes, they’ll be there,” said Dave. “Suzanne just needed to find a babysitter which she couldn’t. So they’ll have to drive to her mother’s place to drop the kids off for the night which means they might get a little late but Saurabh said they’ll be there.”

  “Okay, now go, I have work to do and remember to get the license for drinks.” Kim hung up and went back to the grocery list that she was working on with Judith.

  Like every party that anyone plans, Kim felt she could have done better with a little more time. She had personally prepared most of the dishes and the o
nes that were to be made on-the-go were prepped and systematically kept in the order that they would have to go out in. Her need to be organized was put to use well and she had detailed instructions for the two hired helps and the server written and stuck to the refrigerator with magnets. She was stepping into the freaks category with the hired helps, but they knew not to tick Kim off with their jokes. She fussed over the flowers and cushions, and the beer cans that were stacked in the corner of the rooms.

  Sam walked in just when Kim was waiting for the guests to arrive. She fluffed the cushions for about the twentieth time, when Sam said angrily, “Will you stop fussing? We are not having the Queen of England or the Sheikh of Dubai coming over; just your friends. Will you relax?”

  Then Sam asked, “Did you figure out what you are wearing?” Just then there was a ring at the door. “There, that must be Cheryl or my friends.” Sam said and went to answer it.

  “I didn’t manage to buy anything like I had initially thought, so I’ll just wear the first thing I can find in my closet.” Kim hurried into her room, trying not to panic.

  From inside the room, Kim could hear Sam at the door greeting her friends. “Hey, you guys are on time! That’s a marked improvement from how you were.” Kim guessed them to be Neel, Becky and Anita, Sam’s friends. She then entered her room to find a beautiful white chiffon gown laid out on her bed with dull gold bangles, dangling earrings, and a long chain with a pixie pendant and with a note at the side table that read ‘For my Love’.