Zenith's Promise (The Zenith Series Book 7)

by Leanne Davis

  “Heart. I want to protect your heart, Jody. But I will be better from now on, I swear.”

  He gave her an earnest look to convince her to forgive him. “Okay. My heart. Right now, I own it and it’s not in danger, so can’t that be enough?”

  He nodded. “Can I hug you now? I also haven’t seen you in several weeks.”

  Jody had to release a smile. “Yes, you can hug me and I’ll come by for dinner too this week. Deal?”

  “Deal.” While releasing her from the hug, Nick said, “You do see the irony of the situation, right? Maybe that was why my reaction was so visceral.”

  “Yes, Dad. I totally freaked out there for a moment as well. But coming here is not the solution and Ross has nothing to do with what happened to you and Mom decades ago. Let’s move on…”

  “Move on.” He released her and she turned to leave.

  “Now I’m going to find Ross and you can go home; we’ll talk later this week about everything but this. Right?”

  “Right,” Nick muttered, cringing slightly before he finally turned to leave.

  Ross was alone in Jody’s aunt’s kitchen. “This was a shit-show. I’m sorry. I gave him a stern scolding about cornering any men I’m currently sleeping with and whose business it is.”

  “You told him that?”

  “Well, basically. I’m not ashamed for having sex. I’m old enough to insist on safe sex and I can do it twenty times a day if I choose to, without it having any bearing on the type of person I am. My parents already are proud of me. This incident brought up some old Zenith issues that had zero to do with you as a person.”

  “You don’t allow anyone to take the easy route, do you?”

  “Not usually. You could find a pushover who refuses to speak her mind and agrees with you about everything and I’m sure you’d have a far easier time than with me. If that’s what you’re after.”

  “I’m not sure I know what I’m after. I’ve never spent so much time with one woman.”

  “Never?”

  “Well, none that I was sleeping with. Nor do I have any female friends.”

  “That’s so pathetic.” She shut her eyes in mock shame. Fluttering her eyes open, she said, “How did you ever charm your way into my underpants?”

  He smiled cockily. “Pretty easily once I arrived there.”

  “Shut up.” She smiled and spoke in an easy, good-natured tone.

  He stepped closer. She was surprised when he put a hand out and touched hers. “So are you going to explain to me your reaction after the show? Why the ice-out toward me? No contact from you except for your father trying to intimidate me; but from you? I got nothing.”

  How could she describe it? Watching him on stage, where he was meant to be. Being cheered and revered by thousands in the audience. Watching a band from the side of the stage wasn’t new for Jody. She’d been to plenty of Rob’s shows before. But the connection to Ross was entirely different, obviously, than her relationship with Rob. Watching the man for whom she had such an intense attraction and knowing how sought after and praised he was by others was both exciting and intimidating for Jody. She didn’t usually surrender to her self-doubts, but that did it for her.

  The messages from her two parents, who disdained the rock-band lifestyle when it came to her, was that it could ruin any future real relationships. Her mother dodged that bullet once and felt glad to be free. Rebecca was lucky because Rob was so different from most artists. Nagging doubts from too many conversations filled her head. An insecure feeling plagued her. Inadequate. Suddenly, she was not enough to fill the role of… what? The girlfriend of Zenith’s drummer? Having never pictured herself as such a character, she backed up and vanished just before they walked off stage and disappeared in their cars to go home.

  “Well, I felt weird.”

  “Weird? Why?”

  “As the drummer, you became a rock star up there. It was awesome. Truly awesome to watch it happen. I didn’t lie. You were incredible. But you were meant to do this. Permanently. For years in the future. I am not that girl. You know, the one who dates musicians and constantly trails behind them like a lost puppy. I mean, my job is to place musicians. I don’t date them. And you heard my parents’ take on dating them. That must have seeped into me. And I was confused.”

  “Confused?”

  “Well, what are we? What am I to you nowadays?”

  His gaze darted around.

  Her doubts seized her thoughts. “No. Don’t answer that. I didn’t mean to ask it. I felt weird and self-conscious and like I wasn’t enough for once. And I’m not used to thinking of myself like that. Not being good enough, or pretty enough, or interesting enough in another person’s judgment. And I’m not perfect. I know that. I have so many faults. I’m too opinionated and vocal in my criticism. I’m rigid and need to be more understanding and flexible. Being somewhat decent-looking, I’ve never felt insecure about it, but that night, I worried how could I ever compete if it came right down to it? Not with all those young groupies. And that pissed me off. All the self-doubt I never knew before surfaced. And suddenly feeling like that? No. Not my future. Being a wuss and worried about other women? No. I—”

  His mouth unexpectedly seized hers and he wrapped his hands around her biceps as he tugged her closer and tighter to his body. He covered her lips with his and his tongue plundered hers as he kissed her hard and long. Her knees buckled and she wilted fully into his embrace. When he suddenly released her and placed her onto her feet, she blinked in surprise.

  “What was that for?”

  “You being afraid.”

  Indignantly, she glared at him and fisted her hands. “I was not afraid. I just didn’t feel like I was enough.”

  He leaned back and outright laughed. “When was there ever a day when you were not enough? Ever? You are superior to every person I’ve ever met. In every walk of life. You exceed everybody in your intelligence, wit, humor, kindness, and clarity. You’re so well spoken and you always say exactly what you mean.” Then he added with a small grin. “Not to mention your beautiful, hot, little body. So hearing you say that something I did made you doubt yourself? Well, I guess that means I must have put on a spectacular performance.”

  She didn’t know if she should hit him or hug him. He was complimenting himself in an annoying, roundabout manner. But when she saw him grinning at her, in a way she never witnessed Ross before, she was glad to see how carefree he appeared. Was he enjoying himself? Was he enjoying her? Right now? He totally was. So much.

  “Superior? Is that your code for snobby or bitchy or being a know-it-all?”

  He didn’t release her and his gaze was different. Tender? Almost. She swore his eyes rounded and his smile was soft and sweet. “No. Superior as in the best kind of person I’ve ever encountered or dreamed I would have near me. Wanting me. In any kind of way. Knowing who and what you are is epic. I love your confidence and your innate ability to recognize your strengths and faults. Saying that you doubted yourself and wondered if you are enough for me? Shit. I’m always inferior to you and the few times you gave me your attention were the luckiest I felt in my life.”

  That was a lot coming from him. Ross never said anything personal. Startled to hear so much all at once, Jody could only stare up at him. “Wow. Not the words I’d expect from the man I first met.”

  “No. I think you had an enduring effect on me. See? You even elevated my damn behavior. No one else could ever do that.”

  “I don’t elevate it, I draw it out. Difference is: I know that part of you and how you are.”

  “See? You insisted it was my responsibility so I have to own it.”

  She beamed. “Yes. True. But your performance was amazing.”

  “And you don’t see yourself as my personal groupie now and forever?”

  “Shit, no. Never.”

  “But you’re the one I want,” Ross admitted seriously and all the teasing was gone.

  “But, that’s for now. We aren’t… I mean,
well what is this we have going?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never known. It’s different from anything I’ve experienced.”

  She released a sigh. “Yeah, very different. Maybe we should just let it keep being different?”

  He squeezed her and stared deeply into her eyes, nodding. “I would like doing that. Being different together with you some more.”

  “Okay. Then that means just us? No one else? Are we being exclusive in our dating?”

  He blinked as if the word dating were strange and new. His smile was very long and slow in coming. “I guess that’s what it’s called. Or going steady.”

  She cleared her throat and the noise of her uncle coming in was enough for them to release each other. More space grew between them and they grinned at each other when Rob walked in and asked, “Did you work things out with your old man?”

  “Yes, Uncle Rob. We’re all good now.”

  “Nice to hear. So is Ross still in?”

  She met Ross’s eyes and nodded at Rob with a huge grin. “One hundred percent.”

  Ross nodded too, knowing Jody wasn’t referring to the band, and neither was he.

  Chapter 10

  THEY DATED FOR SEVERAL weeks. It was idyllic to Ross and he started to think, maybe life had finally swung in his favor. For once, he wasn’t on the losing end, but winning. Succeeding. Having both a relationship and a job, started to realign how he thought of himself.

  One usual, ordinary practice day, Rob walked into the studio with an odd expression on his face. Ross wasn’t sure how to describe it, but when he entered the recording studio, his face physically winced. Ross tossed a tennis ball up and down as he asked, “Spencer gonna be here soon?”

  “Yeah. But first…”

  First? Ross stopped dead and stared long and hard at the man who took him on, tutored him, mentored him, and gave him the heady high of performing live before thousands of fans. The man who showed him he had something important to contribute to the industry. The man that proved he might do something real with it. First? That didn’t mean next. That meant priority. That meant he had to tell him something. And no good news ever started with but first.

  Ross knew in his gut level the words to follow. They were so obvious. Keeping his face neutral, he stated dryly, “Jaxon is coming back.”

  Was there any other way this could go? He was hired temporarily. Short of Jaxon quitting, it was always supposed to go this way. He expected it to end when Jaxon’s wife recovered. He’d be a monster if he wished Jaxon’s wife not to be beating cancer.

  Even though it meant he was no longer needed in the band. Of course, he wasn’t needed any longer.

  Nothing lasted. Don’t dream. Don’t build up your expectations. Don’t hope. Why the fuck did he ignore his mantra? His own motto? A few months here and now all he could see were rainbows in the sky? Seemed he had so much and now, it was done. Over. As he always expected.

  Rob nodded. “Yeah. Things have gone really well for his wife.”

  “Right. Sure. That’s obviously awesome. I mean. Beating cancer.”

  Rob nodded, his gaze darting around before it landed on Ross. Finally straightening his spine, Rob sniffed and said, “I want you to know that you’re heading somewhere huge in this business. We, this was only your first stop, a baby step. You are better than anyone we’ve ever heard before. You have the ‘it’ thing that people often say Spencer and I have. Well, you have it too. I would not think of letting you go at all if the situation…”

  “His wife is beating cancer. I get it,” Ross tersely replied. A magnanimous role was so beyond his usual demeanor, he barely meant it. Shit. Feeling like he was kicked in the lungs by a mule, Ross’s disappointment grew very deep and dark and drastic very quickly.

  “But you, Ross, you need a younger, more vital band. You need to tour the fucking world. You should see and do everything you ever dreamed of. Go everywhere. Do it. Spence and I are on the down slide of it now. We’ve both earned that right and we love it, but we have decades on you. See? You are just beginning a career that will be huge for you. I have some leads, I think I can get you a bigger—”

  “Bigger? Who’s bigger than you?”

  A wisp of a smile came and went on Rob’s face. “I appreciate that. But there are many. Up and coming as the latest phenomenon, you could be touring and performing all the time. That would be something rare and new for you. You’ll be everyone’s first choice on every A list. I swear, they’ll be fighting over who gets you especially after everything I have to say about you.”

  Sure. He was going somewhere, all right. Home. Ross smiled weakly, struggling to keep his surging fury at bay. Brimming with an all-consuming anger, he started to percolate. As if this were unusual or new. All he heard was the negative outcome. He was out. Jaxon was back. He was done. That’s what always happened to him. The job was over. He needed to go. He had to leave. He couldn’t breathe in the stifling atmosphere. As his throat tightened, the phobia of being shut in a small space made him feel dizzy. God. Rob better shut the fuck up. He could hear no more. He could not listen to another reason.

  Turning, he nodded and said, “I have to go.” There was nothing more to be said. Rob’s excuses and apologies sounded so lame. Sure, they were all valid but they only served to magnify Ross’s disappointment. The whole litany of excuses didn’t change anything: he was done. Out. Over. The last thing he wanted was to make Rob feel better about telling him. Aborting any further speech, Ross turned and dashed away from there. Inside the rental car, he nearly drove out the gate before Rob could call after him. He was free. He threw his cell phone out the window. Done. Gone. Goodbye, fucking Seattle, Zenith, and Zenith’s Promise. As usual, any progress he thought he made always came back to this. Frustration. Disenchantment.

  It always ended before he wanted it to.

  At least, he earned some money from this gig. More than he ever had before. Even if the high life he enjoyed so much was all fake. Built on feathers and fluff, with one puff of breath, it vanished. Gone.

  When he got back to his place, he frantically grabbed his bags and stuffed some clothes inside, leaving the newer things he purchased there. Glancing around at all the personal hygiene products, groceries, clothes and knick-knacks he’d acquired, he was surprised how much he added to the empty space. More than he ever expected to own. Damn it. He’d just leave it all behind now. He had to leave.

  Go.

  He grabbed his laptop, grateful he still had that. Going online, he booked the next flight. It was soon, less than three hours, but he could make it. He had to get there.

  Taking the rental car, he left the rest of his keys on the counter. Without a glance behind, he drove himself to the airport, waited shortly in the terminal and finally boarded the plane to go home. It was his second flight.

  He didn’t let his mind wander very far. He briefly imagined the small body crashing through everyone else, entering the empty shell of a house she acquired for him. Finding it empty and him gone could be an instant relief. Their fight. Her annoyance. Where were they headed? Nowhere.

  And as for his career… What career? His favorite hobby? Smacking a set of drums. Well, that was over too. He managed to get some good stories he was eager to tell. Could claim to know some famous people. Earned some money to… what? No idea what now.

  Who cared? He remembered when he didn’t care and how much better things were then. There was no feeling like this, no crushing disappointment, and no loss. Your heart shattering in your chest. Your stomach twisting and your brain screaming, no! He needed so much more now. He wanted more now too. Before this trip, he was content with a minimal existence and very few material items.

  He could game, something he liked to do without too many gains or losses. Didn’t leave him feeling like this. Maybe reach out to JayJay. But that hurt too much. No. Damn it. Nothing was allowed to hurt him because he didn’t care. He could not care about anything again. Nothing ever worked out. This was ridiculous. The time he
wasted with the two siblings made his gut twist and now he was missing them?

  Jody. What about her?

  What would happen to her now? She could have another guy in a few weeks, no doubt. No worries. She wasn’t ridiculously sentimental or the kind to dampen her sex life. She’d be fine. No, she’d be great. He knew that. She was better off now. He couldn’t imagine them doing… what? Anything. That was all over. Everything happens for the best.

  Why then did his stomach feel like it dropped out of the bottom of the airplane?

  That fucking, low-down asshole. She stared at the empty loft. Checking the upstairs closet, she found his bags gone. He packed very few things. Didn’t answer his cell phone. No note. The rental car was gone and so was he. Rob called her, sounding stricken that he had to let Ross go since Jaxon’s wife was doing so much better that he was ready to come back. Of course, that was great. Or it should have been. The disappointment she felt for Ross stabbed her sharply.

  “I wanted to keep him. He’s got something special in his playing, Jody. For real. But I have to bring Jaxon back after his hiatus and besides, Ross should be traveling the world, doing tours and tons of concerts with hundreds of thousands of fans. He deserves so much more than Spence and I, being an older, more established band, can ever provide for him. I was trying to explain that to him when he just up and left. Not another word from me or him. I’m sorry. Hell. It was one of the most depressing things I’ve ever had to do.”

  “I’m sorry too. And I’m sure it went over as well as a lead balloon. He has plenty of issues with his expectations. Never believes people or that good things can happen. I’ll talk to him.”

  But she was already too late because he was gone. Damn that asshole. He just left her too? Gone. Poof. Without a word to her or JayJay? Mostly, to her. Her heart ached with a new kind of pain that alarmed her. She never felt that level of hurt, betrayal or utter loss. What was going on? What was she feeling?