Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 2

by Hirukuma

  We had an overwhelming lead during the day, and the Chains street advertiser’s frustrated glare when he came to check things out was oh, so satisfying.

  The stalls closed up early because of the harsh night chills, but we advertised the shops that accept the point cards today, so people still flowed into the inn’s makeshift tent and stores where their point cards were applicable.

  Unlike during the day, they’re now providing soup and fried foods with lavish amounts of vegetables at low prices. These dishes are popular with those who ate heavily earlier, as well as women and the elderly.

  Of course, the only reason they can charge so little is because I set my own prices to the bare minimum. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean I have a net loss of points. I’m essentially keeping the eateries alive, even though they’ll go back to being my competition once the Chains Restaurant withdraws, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

  Lammis longs for the hunt. She’s focusing on rebuilding the settlement right now, but once we get through the winter, she’ll probably want to start hunting work again. Stabilizing the settlement’s food supply should draw in new people and allow it to prosper.

  And I think she may be acting in consideration of me. The settlement has been seeking out my help more than I believe it needs to, which restricts what she can do, and I want to solve that.

  Anyway, I have a lot of ideas on the matter, but in truth…I came all this way to a different world, and I want to go out and see and experience more of it.

  Oh, but a customer is here. To start, I’ll do my job as a vending machine.

  “Welc ome.”

  “Yo, Boxxo. Seems like you’re having a good time. Mind having a little chat? Got something to talk to you about, from one man to another—you’re a man, right? Anyway, what do you say?”

  One look at Captain Kerioyl’s customary flippant attitude and the alarms start going off. I have a bad feeling about this.

  An Expedition and Diplomacy

  “First, I don’t mind if we wait until winter is over. Would you like to go with us on an expedition?”

  I don’t even give a moment’s thought to Captain Kerioyl’s sudden proposition. “Too bad,” I answer. I figured this was what he’d ask me, so there was no reason to hesitate.

  If I went, Lammis would, too, since we come as a set. I can’t make a decision in this case on my own. I’ll leave it to her.

  “Quick with the answers as usual, eh, Boxxo? Do you not like me? Is that it?”

  “Welcome.”

  “Seriously… You’ve got to treat your clients with kindness. I hate to bring this up, but we were the first ones to volunteer to rescue you. I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, but we didn’t exactly come away unscathed. Though that doesn’t mean you should feel compelled to do anything one way or another.”

  He’s right. I do owe him a debt—a debt to the Menagerie of Fools. I’m deeply aware. I’m just uncomfortable with how shady the captain acts. I can’t do more than guess, but I get the feeling he’s the type who would betray you with a smile.

  But he does have a point. The Menagerie of Fools aided me and easily wiped out that band of thieves.

  “Welcome.”

  “Oh, willing to open up a bit now? Anyway, I realize I’ll have to talk to Lammis, too. We still have a while before winter ends. You’ve got plenty of time to think it over.”

  Captain Kerioyl leaves. There’s no point racking my brain over this. The only thing that matters is Lammis’s opinion.

  Er, but right now, we’re overthrowing the Chains Restaurant. Night has settled in, so the shops look like they’re closing up. I think every one of them got easily over three times the customers they did yesterday. Talk about roaring business. If they keep this up for the next two weeks, we might have a shot.

  I shelve the captain’s request for the moment. I have to focus.

  After that, the ratings came piling in, customers increased by the day, and after just two weeks, we’d stolen most of them back.

  For the last few days, snow has frequently fallen from early evening into night, which was a stroke of luck—the plaza in front of the Hunters Association is closer to the residential area, meaning more people have been coming to the eateries to warm themselves, too.

  One month after the Chains Restaurant opened shop, they withdrew from the Clearflow Lake stratum just as easily as they’d come. I suppose it is very much like a big, popular chain to know when to pull out so cleanly, but it still makes me feel like we outsmarted them.

  The shopkeepers are happy, so I guess I’m not unhappy with the result, but they left so easily that I can’t help but think something else is going on. At any rate, I suppose the apprehensions of spring coming and the hunters going back to work are gone.

  Ah, right—about the deal where the Menagerie of Fools invited us to come with them on an expedition in the spring. I talked it over with Lammis, and we decided to accept.

  Their expedition would last two weeks in total, if that, and their mission was to scout out certain monsters and eliminate them if possible.

  After talking it over and making the decision, Lammis, Hulemy, and I are all here. We couldn’t let other people overhear, so I was with the two childhood friends inside the tent they were renting.

  “The Menagerie of Fools is, like, seriously famous. I know we should be happy to have this chance, but… Will we be all right?”

  “Hmm. The captain said if I’m afraid of fighting, I can just carry Boxxo, but I want to fight. If I don’t, I’ll never be able to get stronger.”

  As Lammis clenches her fist, her expression grows much more serious than usual. In fact, it’s a little scary.

  I can feel the strength of her resolve just from looking at her. Hulemy told me why she wants to get stronger—it has to do with what happened to the place where they were born—but is that all…?

  “Lammis, do you…want revenge?”

  “Yup. I have to kill the one who attacked our village that day, or I can never forgive myself!”

  Hearing a violent word like kill come from Lammis’s mouth makes my mechanical parts squeak. She was clearly furious when I was kidnapped, but seeing her hate-filled eyes is threatening to break my Heat-Retention feature.

  The monsters destroyed their village, as the story goes. Is “the one” she’s talking about their boss?

  “You mean the guy you said you saw controlling the monsters?”

  “That man, he was smiling as he controlled them! He was smiling when he killed Ma and Pa, too!”

  She pounds the ground with a fist, and it digs into the dirt up to her wrist.

  The reason she keeps the ill-fitting hunter occupation has been revealed. I’m sure there are some who would say revenge won’t bring back the dead; that it’s a fruitless endeavor.

  I’m in no position to pretend I know what I’m talking about, and I’ve never experienced anything like this before. If I’m allowed to give my two cents, however, I’d prefer she strike any bloodthirsty inclinations from her hunter occupation.

  But her emotions are something only she understands. I can sympathize, but I can never truly understand, so I want to let her do as she wishes until she’s satisfied. And I won’t spare an ounce of effort as a vending machine to that end, either.

  “Nothing more for me to say, then. We just have to believe the Menagerie of Fools can handle whatever comes up. Plus, we’ve got a reliable partner with us now.”

  A smile appears on Hulemy’s lips as she casts a sidelong glance at me. I reply with a confident “Welcome.” It’s the same volume as her voice, though, so I’m not sure if the feeling got across.

  “Thanks for worrying about me, Hulemy. And thank you, too, Boxxo.”

  Lammis bashfully scratches her head, ashamed of having gotten riled up. As long as I’m on her back, I can protect her with Force Field, but isn’t there some other way I can help during battle?

  I’ve absorbed a lot of coins from the thieves’ trove
, so I have an impressive number of points, but not enough to learn another Blessing. Even if I had the right amount, I’d want to have enough of a safe zone, since there’s no telling what could happen. The kidnapping incident taught me that well.

  If I want an ability, it’ll have to be a single feature. There are several candidates, but they’re all really expensive, so I’m hesitant to get any. If I pour tens of thousands of points into a feature that doesn’t work the way I thought it would, I’ll probably be depressed for a while.

  “Let’s quit worrying over every little rat in the pack. We still have time before spring anyway. It’s late, so let’s get some sleep. You’ve got rubble-clearing work tomorrow morning, don’t you?”

  “Yup. Okay, let’s go to sleep! Oh, Boxxo, you can sleep in our tent tonight.”

  “You get to sleep with two beautiful women. Best night ever, right?”

  She’s not wrong, but I don’t have a human body. There will be no misunderstandings this night.

  I look around the tent again, but the inside is so big that a sizable vending machine being in here doesn’t cramp it. A single pillar stands in the circular center, supporting the tent’s roof section. It’s quite well-made and seems more comfortable to be in than I thought it would be.

  Inside the space are two dressers and beds, and a sturdy-looking table with a broad, wooden countertop. Tools and trinkets that look like magic items litter the floor as well. Those have to be Hulemy’s.

  The room is drab, considering two girls are living in it, but the carnation sitting on the table allows the room to barely pass as effeminate. I’m glad I gave her that gift.

  “Oh, and I’m taking good care of the flower you gave me, Boxxo.”

  “Really? You gave Lammis a present, did you? And it was my birthday three days ago, too. Come to think of it, nobody gave me anything.”

  “Ahh! I’m sorry, I totally forgot. Let’s go out to eat and have something delicious tomorrow!”

  “Thanks, Lammis. And you, Boxxo—anything for me?”

  I’m sure she’s half joking, but her smarts are invaluable to me, and I want to rely on her in the future. I actually already know exactly what kinds of things she would like.

  The issue is that if I give these things to anyone else, they could be used for evil. I’ve been waiting for a chance to give them to her without alerting anyone nearby. This situation fits the bill nicely.

  “Just kidding. Don’t take it so seriously— Aaahhhh! What’s all this?!”

  After transforming into a long and slender body painted in red and white, Hulemy grabs on as though embracing me. Her eyes glitter like a blazing fire, and she begins to breathe violently.

  Those eyes are scary! I knew she’d bite, but I didn’t think she’d react like this.

  “There’s all kinds of tools on the other side of the glass. Ah, they’re all types I bet Hulemy would like.”

  Yes. This time, I turned into a vending machine that sells tools. My product lineup consists of safety goggles, masks, convex measuring tape, gloves, an eight-piece screwdriver set, and a hooded nylon jacket, excellent at repelling water.

  This vending machine was specifically for hardware stores, so the products are all high quality. Even the gloves have antibacterial deodorizing effects, breathe well, and have nonslip surfaces. Hulemy would probably pay an arm and a leg for something so incredible.

  “Hey, how much do they cost?! Lammis, if I don’t have enough, lend me some money!”

  “Huh? Uh, okay.”

  The force of Hulemy’s bloodshot eyes is overpowering Lammis. I know I could sell these sorts of things to craftsmen, too, but I need to consider the level of technology that’s actually safe to introduce here. That’s why I only really stock consumable goods.

  I trust Hulemy not to use them for anything sinister, so I don’t have any qualms about giving them to her.

  I know how much money you have on hand, but it’s a birthday present this time, so I won’t take your money.

  I drop a complete set of the items into my compartment, and Hulemy snatches them all up, holds them toward the sky, and squeals in delight. Lammis backs away slowly.

  “Boxxo, can I seriously have these for free?!”

  “Welcome.”

  “Thank you so much! I love you!”

  Overcome with emotion, Hulemy presses her lips to my glass, then spins around to line up the tools on the table and test them… Wow, that was a surprise. I didn’t think she’d actually kiss me. It’s tough not having a sense of touch at times like these. N-not that I’m upset or anything.

  “Boxxo, you sure seem happy…”

  What on earth are you saying, my good Lammis? Why are you glaring at me with those narrowed eyes?

  “Hmm…” Her cheeks puff out as she sulks. That’s pretty cute, too— Wait, now isn’t the time to be content as an observer.

  After that, in order to get her out of the bad mood, I give her a bunch of different things I think she’d like as presents, but she continues to pout for the rest of the day.

  Vanity, Pride, and Vending Machines, Part 1

  “Sir Boxxo, Lady Hulemy, we come bearing a humble request!”

  One day, following my usual wave of afternoon customers, I find myself shooting the breeze in front of the Hunters Association building with Hulemy. While she’s gushing to me about magic items, we’re suddenly surrounded by a group of people in black clothing and sunglasses.

  Before we can fully assess the situation, they all bow their heads to us.

  Their unique appearances gave them away immediately as Suori’s bodyguards, but I wish I knew what sort of “humble request” they were talking about.

  “Hey! What’s going on here? If you don’t explain yourselves properly, you’ll just annoy Boxxo.”

  Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to say. Thanks, Hulemy.

  “Please excuse me. In less than an hour from now, we believe the young lady Suori will approach you with a request. We would like you to kindly accept it when she does.”

  “And what would that request be?”

  Rather than provide a straightforward answer to Hulemy’s easy question, the bodyguards huddle up in a circle and deliberate their response.

  “We request that you keep what you’re about to hear a secret. In the very near future, influential merchants will come together for an exhibition where they will show off their personal magic items and respective magic-item engineers.”

  This situation seems similar to how some nobles have personal artists. So a bunch of rich people are getting together for a show-offy competition with the magic items their engineers made, huh?

  “Were the master of the house here, we wouldn’t have a problem, but he is currently abroad on business matters and is unable to return for the moment. In a stroke of bad luck, his personal engineer is with him as well, so we have no engineers to participate with.”

  “And you thought Boxxo and I would fit the bill?”

  Hulemy’s remark seems to be right on the money, and the whole crowd bows to us at once.

  But if that “master of the house” or whatever isn’t around, can’t they just not attend?

  “If the higher-ups aren’t here, why don’t you just sit this one out?”

  Hulemy’s thoughts are so in line with mine that it’s scary. I think it’s a coincidence, but… She didn’t actually complete that mind-reading magic item from a while back, did she?

  “Unfortunately, this event was planned by the daughter of a merchant who seems to have some sort of quarrel with the young lady… She will be attending in place of her parents as well, which means the young lady must attend…”

  “A competition of vanity. Rich people really have it rough, huh?”

  The black-clad bodyguards fidget remorsefully at Hulemy’s sarcasm.

  I’ve got a better grasp the situation now, but what should we do? Suori is one of my loyal customers, so I wouldn’t mind participating, but I don’t think Hulemy has ever even met her
.

  “The young lady Suori has a somewhat…a bit of a…a rather intractable personality, so we believe her interactions with you may become overbearing before long.”

  Yep, I agree with you there. I can easily imagine that. Was that why they got in touch with me in advance?

  “Therefore, we ask you to please— What? The young lady is close?! This is far sooner than we expected. Please, keep our meeting a secret!”

  No sooner had a woman in black whispered something into the man’s ear than did they scatter like spiderlings and vanish; not unlike ninjas.

  “Um, well… Those guys sure have it rough, huh?”

  “Welcome.”

  “The young lady Suori. I’ve seen her buying things from you a few times. She’s the real tiny one, right?”

  “Welcome.” Yes, yes. It’s the strong-willed girl with the twin-tails.

  For a while after our reunion, she had a bad attitude. She would constantly try to pull pranks on me—though they all ended in failure.

  She’s not actually that bad of a kid, and it seemed like she was going through some personal drama at the time, so that probably influenced her behavior even further.

  Speak of the devil, here she comes.

  As always, her gait is proud and bold, but her usually firm glare is darting all over the place. She seems nervous.

  Spotting Hulemy drinking a milk tea next to me, Suori’s eyes widen for just a moment.

  After walking up to me, she looks between Hulemy and me.

  I know it’s hard for her to find the words right now, but instead of words, a silent pressure flows from within her, a force of will you’d expect from someone much older.

  “E-excuse me… Would you happen to be the famous magic-item engineer, Hulemy?”

  When she talks like this, she looks like your standard, proper young lady. It feels weird to me, though, considering her usual cheeky attitude.