Finding Carson Lee (Oh Captan, My Captain #3)

by Lindsay Paige

  “Stay. Please.” For one second, I see a sadness in his eyes.

  “Okay.”

  He leads me back up to his room, and I slip off my shoes. “I need to borrow some clothes.” I turn to him.

  “You don’t need clothes.” He jerks me to him, capturing my lips.

  I moan against the wetness of his tongue in my mouth. My body relaxes as I wrap my arms around his neck. “I missed you, Carson.”

  “I want one more secret from you.” He kisses my neck.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Please, sweetheart.” He lays his forehead on mine.

  I make him sit on the bed, and I take a step back from him. Pulling the rubber band from my hair, I shake it out. I keep my eyes locked with Carson’s as I take off my shirt. A smirk sits on his lips when I unbutton my jeans and sway my hips slowly while taking them off. Carson reaches for me, but I slap his hand away.

  “Be patient,” I use his words against him. I motion for him to stand up, and he does. I remove all his clothes, leaving him naked in front of me. I lick and kiss down his chest until I reach the spot I want to be. I swirl my tongue around his head, and Carson moans loudly as I guide him into my mouth.

  Deeper and slowly, I take him further in. I know how he reacted the last time, but this time, I have a different agenda. I relax my jaw and tongue taking him all the way to the back of my throat. Carson grips my hair, and I know that he’s getting closer. I stop and stand up.

  “Not tonight, sweetheart.” I wink at him as I wipe my mouth.

  “Tease,” he growls at me, trying to give me the evil eye.

  I laugh at him. “Lay down.” I order him, and he obeys.

  I unsnap my bra and along with my thong I toss them over my shoulder. I pull open the drawer where Carson keeps the condoms and open up the wrapper. I straddle him, rolling it on him while giving a couple extra strokes.

  “Kinley.” He closes his eyes. He’s like putty in my hands.

  I position myself right over him and don’t move. Carson’s hands are tight on my hips, but I hold where I am.

  “Kinley, I swear,” Carson hisses at me.

  I giggle as I push my hips down on him. I gasp as our bodies connect. I rock harder against him. I raise up, and then push back down. I continue doing that, feeling Carson digging deeper into my skin. He lifts his hips and yells out as he fills me up. I reach my hands back, placing my hands on Carson’s thighs, arching my back more.

  “Fuck,” I breathe out. I can feel him him reaching the breaking point.

  Carson sits up, flips me onto my back, and begins to pound into me. I wrap my legs around his hips and latch my nails onto his back. He continues sliding in and out of me, and it’s my turn to yell out his name as the tension leaves me. With two more thrusts, Carson falls on me and neither of us can breathe.

  “I missed you a lot, sweetheart.”

  I giggle, knowing that I missed him too.

  ~

  “Oh Captain, My Captain, don’t you look mighty fine.” I adjust his bowtie. Carson looks mighty sharp in his black tux.

  “Thanks.”

  I double check myself in the mirror. I’m wearing a red evening gown, and I’m hoping that Carson won’t be too upset with me with the surprise I have in store for him. I had Mike help me with it all week, and I know it will work.

  I hope.

  We go downstairs as the limo awaits for us. Carson helps me in, and I silently pray there are no problems. The limo drives us towards the hospital when Carson looks over at me.

  “Where are we going?”

  “To pick up your date, duh,” I joke with him.

  “What?”

  I don’t say anything else as Carson keeps repeating the same question. I never answer. When the limo pulls up, the beautiful four year old is sitting in her wheelchair. Mike made sure she had the dress I had LPMS make her, and they even created a sequin headscarf for her.

  “Kinley.”

  “You need to have your girlfriend on your arm on your big day.” I kiss his lips as the door opens.

  “Carson,” Gracie yells for him, and I quickly move out of the way for her and her oxygen pack.

  “Hey, Gracie. How’s my girlfriend doing today? Excited for a night out?” I watch his interaction with her and it makes me go ‘aw’ every time.

  “Yes, I slept all day, so I won’t be tired at all.” She points down to her outfit. “Did you see my pretty dress? Kinley gave it to me.” She smiles up at me and I try not to cry.

  “She did? Well, you look beautiful, Gracie.” Carson looks over at her mother. “You too, Darcie. Thanks for letting Gracie come.”

  “I really don’t think I could have stopped her. She’s been excited about it since Kinley told us.” I made sure Darcie had a dress too.

  “Okay, everyone in the limo. We can’t be late for our grand entrance.” I usher everyone back into the limo. Carson tells them not to bring the wheelchair because he’ll carry Gracie.

  Soon, we are off to the party. I lost my seat to Gracie because she wants to sit right next to Carson. I giggle as she tries to sit as close as she can to him. They hold hands the entire ride. I hate to admit that she looks sicker than the last time we saw her, but I pray it’s only my imagination.

  The limo driver pulls up right to the front door of the grand ballroom hotel. We all file out and head up the large staircase. Gracie comments on everything she sees. It’s different when you see it through the eyes of a child. When we walk into the ballroom, it’s been transformed into an autumn enchanted forest.

  Each tables’ place card is a picture from the line. On the walls, the photos flip and change every few seconds. The commercials continuously play on the large screens. I guide everyone to the center table and Gracie proudly takes the seat next to Carson. She’s staring up on the screen and looks confused.

  “What’s wrong, Gracie? Don’t you like the pictures of Carson?” I ask her.

  “Not really.” She scrunches her face. “He’s not wearing his jersey, and he looks very bumpy.” Leave it to a child to make a table of adults roll in laughter.

  “I’ll try better next time.” I pat her tiny hand.

  The dinner comes first and there are a lot of people coming over to talk to Carson, and they tell him what a great job he did. Everyone falls in love with Gracie the moment they meet her.

  When the music starts, Carson takes Gracie to the floor first, twirling and spinning her, making her laugh. After a couple of songs, Carson brings her back and whispers in her ear. Gracie nods and smiles at me. Carson comes over and takes my hand, leading me to the dance floor. I smile up at him, and for the first time in a long time, he looks happy. I don’t see the stern, bad-boy Carson Lee. I see the Carson Lee that I care about.

  “I had to ask Gracie for permission to dance with you.”

  “Well, I’m honored she said ‘yes’.”

  “Why did you bring her?”

  “Are you upset?”

  “No, sweetheart, I’m not.”

  “I did it because she needs fun too. Plus, it’ll be something you both will remember forever.” A single tear leaves my eye.

  Carson softly wipes it away. “Thank you.”

  We finish the song, and then go back to our table. We see it in Gracie’s face that she’s tired. I look at Carson, and he nods.

  “Come on, Gracie, it’s time to leave.” Carson picks her up.

  On the way back to the hospital, Gracie curls up next to Carson and falls asleep. He makes sure he gets her all the way back to her room, and I melt when he kisses her forehead. Carson gives Darcie a hug.

  Carson holds my hand back to the limo, all the way home, and even in the house. When we cross the threshold, he grabs me and kisses me.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Carson

  We make it to the couch with Kinley straddling me. I pull away to look at her, the thoughts of tonight still very much on my mind. I can’t get over what she did for me and for Gracie.

&nbs
p; “You’re amazing, Kinley,” I tell her softly.

  She smiles as she sits upright in my lap. “So are you.”

  As Kinley sits before me, her fingers dancing across my chest, I think about how she hasn’t pushed me at all. She’ll ask if I want to talk, and when the answer is no, she lets it go. This time, she’s not going to have to ask.

  “Let’s talk.”

  Her hands move to my shoulders and stay there. “Okay. What about?”

  “I want to tell you all the things I haven’t told you yet, about my family and Mike. If you want to hear it,” I add.

  Kinley laughs. “If you want to talk, I’m not going to stop you.”

  My mouth opens right as my phone rings from inside my pants pocket. I pull it out, a little confused when I see that it’s Mike. Why is he calling me? Glancing at Kinley, I tell her to hold on before I answer.

  “Hey, Carson. Sorry it’s a bit late, but I needed to call you,” he explains.

  “Why? What happened?”

  Mike is quiet for a moment, which immediately makes me uneasy. “I don’t know how to tell you without just saying it,” he starts. “Your father died from an overdose today.” He keeps talking, but I tune him out, running that sentence in my head over and over. I’ll never have to deal with him again. He died the same way my mother did. “Carson?” I snap out of it and listen as he says, “You’re his next-of-kin. They’re going to want to know what to do with his-”

  “I don’t care, Mike,” I interrupt him. “Make the decision for me and let me know later. I don’t want to handle it.”

  “Okay.” He wraps up the conversation, and then we hang up.

  Kinley is watching me, waiting to be filled in. I guess it’s a good thing we were about to talk.

  “My dad’s dead,” I say simply. “Overdose.”

  Her lips part with a bit of shock and her eyes widen. She looks sad for a moment, but there’s no reason to be. I’m not. Before she can say anything, I begin talking.

  “Mom died of an overdose too. I lived with my dad for a while before I was put into the system,” I start recounting what I know she already knows until I can push myself to go further. “Mom was about to start getting help because she knew she needed it. She was an overall good person who had a problem. Dad wasn’t, especially when he was high. That was the first time I had seen or heard from my dad since I was removed from his care.

  “He could be brutal and I used to wonder what my mom ever saw in him. He hasn’t been in my life for a long time, so it doesn’t make much of a difference that he’s dead. Before he showed back up, I hoped that because I hadn’t heard from him, it meant he was dead. Mom was way more of a parent to me than he ever was.”

  She nods like she understands, and so I continue my story.

  “After I was put into foster care, Mike took me under his wing as much as he could. He was my coach and he made sure that I could keep playing. He knew I had the potential to be the player I am today. The older I got and as I moved up, he kept me sane by making sure I had good equipment and he got me to where I needed to go. It’s no surprise that he ended up becoming my agent.

  “I knew Opal because she worked at the home I was staying at back in Michigan. When I moved here and was looking to start doing some charity work, it turned out she moved down here and was working with Shelby. Once I knew she worked there, I chose that one in particular.”

  Pausing, I take a deep breath before continuing. “I ended up turning into who you first met because it was easy and I was actually satisfied with it. Aside from having Mike and Opal, being by myself is how I grew up and what I was comfortable with.” I feel like I’ve said enough for now, but there is one other thing I could do. While reaching into my back pocket for my wallet, I say, “I do have a picture, by the way. I just don’t keep it out.” I pull out the photo of my mom and hand it to her. “That’s the only one I have of my mom and me.”

  “Oh, Carson Lee, you look like your mama.” She smiles.

  “Yeah, and that’s better than looking like my dad,” I retort. “So, um, that’s all I was going to say.”

  She hands the photo back to me and I slip it safely back into my wallet. “I don’t think you know how much it means to me that you told me. I know that it’s hard. You know I’m a great listener, but my dad went through something similar. He might be able to give you some advice too, if you need it.”

  “He’s told me some things, actually, and he gave me advice already, but maybe I’ll talk to him again.”

  “He did? Wow, you must have made a good impression on him too. He doesn’t usually tell a lot of people.”

  “It was when we went golfing. He even said something about you too. He told me that you knew I was a good man. Turns out, he may have been right about what he was trying to make me understand.”

  “He’s a smart man,” she agrees.

  “A lot smarter than my dad,” I pause, wondering if I should say this outloud or not before saying it anyway. “Honestly, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about him showing up anymore. Maybe I should be upset a little or care more, but I don’t. I hated him too much. I can finally move forward without looking over my shoulder all the time.”

  Kinley responds with exactly what I want to hear. “I can understand that.”

  I squeeze her hips before making her stand. “C’mon. Let’s go to bed.” Keeping a hold of her hand, we go to my room and get ready for bed, finally climbing under the soft sheets. Kinley cuddles against me and I hold her even closer. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” I whisper before closing my eyes.

  More than anything, my father’s death feels like the door to my past has closed. I have the picture of my mom and that’s all I need from those years ago. It’s about time I start keeping my focus on what’s ahead of me instead of what’s behind me. Between Kinley, Mike, and even Gracie, I’m sure I can do that and be a better person.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Kinley

  I sit at the kitchen table, staring at the contract. Who does this Ashton Campbell think he is? These hockey players. I shake my head. If I was still in Utah, I would knock on his door and punch him. I guess he’s not going to work for LSMP.

  I tore through as many emails as I could. Trying to make sure that I have everything scheduled that needs to be, making sure hotels are booked and reservations are made. I quickly call Cassie.

  “Hello, how’s my new head photographer?”

  Cassie laughs. When my promotion was offered to me, Cassie was also offered a job. She now takes all the photos for my campaigns. It’s more money for her, and she was able to quit her other job.

  “Fine. I just got all your emails. Thanks for that, by the way.”

  I ignore her snarky comment and dive into work mode. I make sure that she has everything she needs for the next shoot.

  “Kinley, yes, I have everything. Don’t you have a hot hockey player to go play with for a while?”

  “He’s busy. So, I have to play with you.” I laugh.

  “Well, I’m about to play with this guy from the accounting department. I’ll call you later.”

  I shake my head at her when she disconnects the call. I turn off my laptop and pour a glass of wine. I curl up and turn on ESPN. Football season is about to begin, and even though I’m somewhat a hockey girl now, I still love my football.

  The knock on the door pulls me away from the training camps stats, and a smile crosses my face when I look through the peephole.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t believe that I ordered Thai food from a hot hockey player,” I say when I open the door.

  “Well, your boyfriend thought you may be hungry, considering he hasn’t see you a lot lately.” Carson winks.

  I giggle letting him come into my apartment. He sets the food on my kitchen counter, while I clean off the table to have a place for us to sit. “I wasn’t expecting you, or I would have cleaned the place up.”

  “I missed you, and I thought I would surprise you.” He kisses my templ
e, setting the plate down. “Should I have called first?”

  I lift one eyebrow at him and slap his shoulder. “No, you don’t have to call to come over. I don’t do that to you. I was simply saying the place is a mess because I’ve been so busy.” I grab a beer from the fridge for Carson and sit down next to him.

  “So, I’m taking it that work is going well.”

  “It’s very hectic right now. Your campaign is really taking off. The build up for fashion week is really insane.”

  “You’re going to be gone that whole week, right?”

  I nod, taking a bit of my noodles.

  “Between the season coming up soon and your work schedule, we’re going to have to do more sexting.” He chuckles.

  “It’s always about sex with you, isn’t it?” I shake my head.

  “I haven’t heard you complain one time.”

  I don’t say anything and continue to eat. He knows damn well that I’m not going to say a single thing about our sex life. Mainly because it’s really the best I’ve had. His phone begins to alert him, and he looks at the screen funny.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, but no. Darcie sent me an update on Gracie.”

  “What’s wrong? Is she alright?”

  “She’s getting worse. I’ll have to go see her soon.”

  “Do we need to go now? I mean, if she’s asking for you, you have to go.”

  “No, it’s okay. Darcie said she’s sleeping right now. She’s not asking for me.” He chuckles. “Turns out, she’s wanting to hang out with Tommy.”

  “Okay.”

  Carson quickly changes the subject to Mike and a new endorsement that’s in the works. I tease him, saying that soon he’ll be more famous than David Beckham.

  “He played soccer. I’m a hockey player.” He shakes his head.

  I can’t help but laugh at him. “I know the difference.”

  Carson tells me about how he’s ready for the season to start and show everyone how much the team has improved over the summer. The younger players are really stepping up, and Carson thinks the Cup is in the near future. I have learned one thing about Carson in the time we’ve been together, the Cup is very important. Even if it looks like a giant cereal bowl. It’s his number one goal, and I have to admire his determination for it.